Author: dtm666

I ramble about things.

Eddie-Sploitation: Because Necrophilia Just Wasn’t Low Enough

Yeah, it’s been a week but last week’s headache was painful and took a while to go away. Now I’m back to my regularly depressive self instead of sick. Probably just as well, because I probably would have written something a little more intense than what’s here.

So I’ve been watching last week’s WWE Smackdown episode (which I regularly tape for my cousin, who doesn’t have The Score or UPN networks) and once again bore witness to yet another mindfuck of stupidity from the WWE braintrust… something about Eddie being in hell or something. Now I don’t know about you, but I sort of expected this kind of behavior… not like I’m some kind of expert or anything. No doubt people watching the incident are appalled that they would stoop to such a low level.

You know what? I’m not upset… I’m not upset that they went that direction because I would have been surprised if they hadn’t dragged Eddie’s name to the mud further than they already have. So no, this doesn’t particularly upset me. What does upset me is the knowledge that all of these tasteless gimmicks and creative brainfarts are doing nothing but cheapening a very real, very tragic death of a man well-respected and well-liked by many of his peers and fans. It’s one thing to exploit a death of a fictional character and call it entertainment. It’s another to exploit the death of a real person and drag his name into the mud for the purpose of getting the big rating.

Randy Orton is currently a generic heel whose value has been crippled thanks to one-sided feuds with Triple H and Undertaker over the past couple years. It’s almost a shame that, to make him more hated, he’d have to resort to defaming Eddie. That sort of shows how great a heel he is… as in not great at all. It all shows a quick effortless shortcut to getting cheap heat. Given a good storyline and good matches that play on his strengths, Randy may very well build a legacy of his own and be one of the greats. As of now, he’s just a guy who’s getting cheap heat bashing a respected wrestler who passed on for real.

Just to steer aside for a moment… Another thing that seems to be raising havoc are the Tim White skits featured on WWE.com. For those who haven’t witnessed these yet, these are short, five-minute clips featuring former referee Tim White attempting to commit suicide and failing. The clips are supposed to be funny, but in reality they’re too stupid to be funny… try asking someone who has had loved ones commit suicide if those skits are funny. These morbid exercises in line-hopping and dumb skits are part of the reason why I don’t watch as much modern-day wrestling as I used to… or much TV for that matter, but I digress.

Now according to spoilers, Randy’s degredation of Eddie’s good name continues. I’ll probably post follow-up comments tomorrow or something when the show airs later tonight.

PPV Predictions – WWE Royal Rumble 2006

I was supposed to get this up last night, but shit happens. So here they are now in a quick and convenient format: my predictions for Rumble 2k6.

EDIT NOTE: Since I haven’t seen the show and got the results from show reports, I’ll forgo the usual banter and just post the winners, along with my usual scorecards. Expect some thoughts concerning these results on Friday.

Continue reading “PPV Predictions – WWE Royal Rumble 2006”

The Suicidal Chronicles Of WWE Referee Tim white

Tim White was a moderately successful WWF referee who had officiated some classic bouts (on both ends of the stick) until a shoulder injury ended his career while officiating a Triple H match. Mr. White shortly retired after, but the match had caused him so much turmoil that his entire family left him and turned their backs on him. Now alone with only the Friendly Tap bar as his drinking buddy, poor Mr. White has had enough.

One day, on a WWE PPV during an interview with Josh Matthews, Mr. White pulled out a shotgun and attempted to shoot himself, but he dropped the gun and shot his toe instead.

Some time later, Mr. White tried digesting rat poison, but the brand had proven to be ineffective against humans (hence the reason it’s called rat poison) and so Mr. White survived.

Mr. White tried to hang himself, but fortunately the rope broke. Mr. White even miraculously survived an attempt to die via dropping a plugged toaster into a bathtub that he was in.

Recently, Mr. White went for the old fashioned method of killing one’s self: slitting his own wrist. Despite the gruesome depiction shown on WWE.com, we have the utmost confidence that Mr. White will survive this latest brush with death and cornball sports-entertainment angles that don’t entertain that well… which explains why they’re ONLY on WWE.com.

You just CAN’T make this shit up, folks.

The sad and most disconcerting thing about all this is that eight-nine years ago, during the Attitude era of sex, drugs, and generic rock music, Vince once said there’d be no guns and knives – even shirts bearing this credo were sold at the time. Somehow, I seem to be the only one who remembers that little quip.

Castlevania: Harmony of Sorrow… or is it Aria of Dissonance?

I got the Castlevania Double-Pack for GBA and man are those games fun. I had played Harmony before but never Sorrow, so that was a good experience. Sadly, Konami didn’t see fit to re-release Circle of the Moon, which I thought was one of the better GBA releases (though I may be in the minority on that one). So for the sake of things: my take on the games…

HARMONY: I found the game to be fairly easy for the most part (except for that Maxim bastard at the end), but it was still a fun experience. Never before had a game kept me up until two in the morning. Never happened before, I swear to God. That big a geek, I know. On top of that, the 8-Bit Simon in the Boss Rush mode kicked ass too.

ARIA: Better graphical quality than Harmony, which had a fairly muddy look to it. The various implementation of soul powers make me wonder why they hadn’t taken this path with Alucard in Symphony.

Overall, I’m happy with both games. Definitely a worthwhile purchase if you don’t already own them.

Neither One Nor The Other…

What did I write about Cena and Batista in Post 200? Let me see…

Both have held their titles since Wrestlemania 21, which is an already incredible feat. And in my opinion, they’ve done pretty well thus far. Despite what the general audience and “insider fans” think of either one of these individuals, I sincerely hope that they make to Wrestlemania 22 with their title reigns intact.

So much for high hopes… New champs on both fronts. John Cena lost the belt to Edge on the last PPV while Batista was forced to vacate the title due to injury… and the belt was won by Kurt Angle.

No More Archie On Fanfiction.Net

I tell you. Everytime I visit Fanfiction.Net in an attempt to read some awesome/awful stories or post some of my own, it absolutely amazes me as to what kind of strange stupidities I find there.

Now I’ve posting stories at FF.Net for roughly a couple years now, despite an earlier Bite posting saying I never would in spite of the fact that I had an account there for a year prior and having done nothing with it. (Still with me? Good.) I’ve seen my share of awkward moments and have been involved in some puzzling situations. I’ve even had a story removed for some stupid reasons. So there wasn’t anything that surprised me until I’ve read FF.Net’s policy this morning as I was about the first chapter of a new Castlevania story I started over the weekend. Nothing that I haven’t read before.

Then I saw the list of restricted works. For the uninitiated, there are a few authors who had expressly forbidden the postings of fanfics based on their works. Some of these names aren’t really familiar to me and the ones that are have written stories that I don’t particular care for. And in the case of one specific author who I shall not name, it’s personally not worth the effort to try and write a story based on lackluster novels that somehow made money and became best-sellers. But just as the list came to an end, I saw one puzzling entry into the list.

Archie Comics.

For some reason, Archie Comics expresses forbids the archiving of Archie fanfics. Actually, there is a small valid reason; Archie Comics and the properties they produce are family-based entertainment. If you go to their website and click on the Note to Parents section, you’ll find a detailed article about Archie Comics are clean fun and that’s the way they like. This probably stems to their wish to keep unclean Archie fanfics off a large public forum like FF.Net. Still, it seems overly protective. I mean, some of this stuff can’t be that bad, right?

And then I read Agony In Pink, a Power Rangers fanfic that, all gruesome depictions aside, isn’t terribly well-written.

Apparently, so did Archie.

(2019 Update: Reading this today is funny in hindsight, when you consider that the current crop of Archie comics are less family friendly and there’s also a Riverdale show that is anything but family friendly.)

PPV Predictions – WWE New Year’s Revolution 2006

Created by lack of destiny… bonded by lack of belief… depressed by the Warrior DVD. But enough about that. You don’t want to read my thoughts on the Self-Destruction, you want to read my thoughts on other stuff. But since I don’t have much to talk about, I’ll just drop off some predictions for tomorrow’s WWE pay-per-view offering. Usually, WWE offers a pretty good 1st PPV of the year with a solid card topped off with a great modified battle royale. Unfortunately, the first pay-per-view of the year 2006 is NOT the Royal Rumble.

Instead, the first PPV of 2006 is New Year’s Revolution, a RAW-exclusive show that started off last year. Now NYR 2005 wasn’t a great show by any means; it was fairly boring, nothing of note happened, and above all else, wasn’t all that entertaining. So with such a bad debut show, NYR 2006 looks to outdo the first show with some matches of potentially better quality, but nothing particular special.

So for those who don’t know how I do these things, it’s real simple. I predict a potential winner and other little snafus. After the event, I grade my predictions against the actual matches. Nothing special happens if I get it all right or all wrong. It’s just my thoughts and stuff. So enough of this stuff, let’s get on with it.

(And just so you’d know, I’m keeping track of PPV results via live reports that are updated as the show progresses).

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