Author: dtm666

I ramble about things.

PPV Predictions – WWE Royal Rumble 2011 (Follow Up)

It just occurred to me that during my predictions diatribe over the whole THREE MATCHES, I neglected to mention the Divas Title match, which Eve Torres won for some reason despite not being part of the original line-up. You know, there’s a very good reason why I didn’t bring up the match and why I didn’t acknowledge its existence in the original post;

I didn’t care.

Anyone who has read the previous predictions posts on this blog (or watched the video of me trying to watch RAW 900) should know that I don’t care for the Divas matches in general. Trying to watch these women bounce around the ring is depressing and makes me yearn for the days when WWE had competent women wrestlers who were capable of putting on a decent match every so often. It seems rather sad that when there are hot women in tight spandex on my TV these days, I want to take a piss.

I don’t blame the women; I’m sure they try their best, but their best isn’t enough and nobody else is giving me sufficient reason to care for these ladies. They have no personalities whatsoever and are nothing more than glorified interchangeable Barbie dolls.

Maybe Awesome Kong will change that perception when she eventually debuts… but I have a feeling she’s just going to be repackaged as the “black” Bertha Faye. It’s been more than a decade since such a gimmick was pulled off; I’m sure Vince is anxious for a revival.

My predictions:
Edge retains his World title.
Miz retains his WWE title.
John Cena wins the Rumble.

The results on the card:
Edge retains his World title. (1-0)
Miz retains his WWE title. (2-0)
Alberto Del Rio (YES!) win the Rumble! Thank GOD! (2-1)

POST-SHOW NOTES: It just occurred to me that Dolph Ziggler and Randy Orton, the two guys who were competing for world titles and lost, were entered into the Royal Rumble match. I guess the bump to 40 wasn’t so good after all, was it? It also just occurred to me that Kevin Nash did not tear a quad during his more-than-brief stint at the Royal Rumble. Good show, Kev.

Later.

PPV Predictions: WWE Royal Rumble 2011

Okay, so what we have here is a three-hour pay-per-view with a hundred dollar price tag and all we get are THREE matches… Two World Title matches which will see the champions retain their titles so that they can drop them at the next PPV (yeah, that’s right – both Edge and Miz walk out with their titles. That’s my pick.) and a Royal Rumble match that just got a boost from the traditional thrity-man format to a bloated forty-man format. Now, I said that I would reserve judgment for the match until I actually see it for myself (whether it’d be tonight through a stream or when the eventual DVD comes out), but hearing about this announcement beforehand made me wonder if they had enough talent to fill such a match.

Now here’s the deal… this is probably just a one-off thing to see if they could pull it off. If they manage to pull this off without a hitch, then it might work. However, there’s barely enough talent to pull it off, which means we’ll be getting surprise entrants for the sake of having surprise entrants. And if that’s the whole point of the bloating of the Rumble, then it’s a pretty pointless move since you could still have surprise entrants with the standard format. Hell, the whole concept of the Rumble that made it fun to watch is that you didn’t know who was going to show up. Now they just list off the list of participants in WWE.COM and randomize the order of entries. It’s just pointless.

So who’s gonna win the Rumble? I’d like to see someone new win it and get a title shot at Wrestlemania… maybe win the title. Someone like John Morrison, Alberto Del Rio, or CM Punk might be good candidates to win the match and seem to be popular choices among certain people. In fact, I would be more inclined to spend the hundred bucks on Wrestlemania if the main event featured a newcomer to the main event picture and quite possibly win the big one, earning him some fresh credibility and making a new star in the progress.

It’s the best idea to push if WWE insists on this whole “youth movement” that people claim they’re pushing for, not having old fucks like Triple H or John Cena win the Rumble again… although that’s going to happen anyway because WWE isn’t forward thinking.

So, to sum up my diatribe above:

My predictions:
Edge retains his World title.
Miz retains his WWE title.
John Cena wins the Rumble.

That is all.

STONE COLD! STONE COLD! STONE COLD! To Host Tough Enough… WHAT?!!!

Apparently, WWE has tapped Steve Austin to host WWE Tough Enough… I honestly don’t know why they thought Austin was the absolute best choice for this. Personally, I think he should just be a trainer on the show and stun everybody.

In any event, good for me. Nice to see him get another TV show that he could make entertaining… sadly, this isn’t going to be a Nash Bridges where the show is still entertaining without him, but who knows what could happen? It’s Tough Enough from USA Network and not MTV.

Then again… maybe I shouldn’t raise my hopes here.

STOP SNOWING! And give me ad revenue by watching this short vid!

http://www.cinemassacre.com/2011/01/26/stop-snowing/

So, Jimmy Rolfe has been complaining about snow… and you know what? I can’t say I blame him. I used to complain about snow all the time. Now we get less of it these days. In fact, in the past couple months, there’s only been a couple snowstorms at most around my area with only a few scattered snowfalls roughly a centimeter worth.

Hooray For Global Warming!

By the way, how cute was it that he brought up one of his old “Bullshit” videos covering weather? Especially since the near-ninety-second video is sandwiched between two thirty-second ads for that oh-so-worth revenue? Gag me…

You know something? This gave me an idea… we’ll see if it materializes into anything.

COMIC REVIEW – Mighty Morphin Power Rangers #5 (Marvel)

The Rangers take a hike in the mountains where they encounter a vortex that they eventually get sucked into because… well, I don’t want to spoil it, but it’s a nice little, touching tail of a well-meaning thing needing help and let’s leave it at that. Simple, to the point, and somehow more high concept than the typical Power Rangers fare. And the artwork is fine for this, too.

Second story brings us the return of the horrible art… and a boy who lies about monsters before encountering a real monster and nobody believes him. It’s a Marvel take on a Ranger take on an old parable and it’s harmless fare save for the humans who look hideous… but at least the Rangers look alright. Not exactly high praise, but there you go.

By the way, for reasons that escape me in the second story, Adam’s wearing a T-Shirt with a Goku-like head (‘cuz he’s ASIAN – HAR) while Aisha is wearing Body Glove-like gear… anyone remember Body Glove. Is that a thing still?

A little late but…

You know… I didn’t really react to this when I first saw it. Maybe if something like this was done ten years ago or so, I would have been shocked or something. But today? Not really. I’ll give you a couple reasons;

1 – The Spider-Man in question refers to Ultimate Spider-Man, the one that was floating around in Marvel’s Ultimate brand for about a decade or so. Marvel wouldn’t have the balls to kill off the traditional Spider-Man we all know and loved, despite the supposed big deal being made around the killing-off of one of the Fantastic Four (whom will no doubt be ressurected in a few months or so).

On a side note, I’m not making a big deal out of this whole “Three” storyline because it’s been done before. See Fantastic Four #381.

2 – In comics, characters never really stay dead. They’ll eventually come back in a few years or so. So if they pull this out, the only people who would give Marvel the reaction they’re looking for with this storyline are the folks who don’t know any better.

3 – We already had a Death of Spider-Man storyline. It’s called One More Day.

That’s it.

COMIC REVIEW – Mighty Morphin Power Rangers #4 (Marvel)

So big news here; to reflect the change in cast, Kimberly is replaced with Kat in the Pink suit… and this is done by taking the totally generic looking Kimberly character in the comics and painting her hair blonde. Voila! New Pink Ranger! Clearly, these colorists have learned their lessons from the ninja swapping trick of Mortal Kombat exceptionally well, but I digress.

Sadly, I only wish I were joking because the Rangers are such one-note characters (even more so than on the television show, which may shock some folks) that if you had kept Kim in there, it wouldn’t have made much of a difference in the long run. This is quite telling when you open up the book and see the first page, where you see Kim’s head recolored as blond.

In any event, the first story has the Rangers fighting Pudgy Pig and that’s it. It’s just straight up ten pages of straight up Ranger action with some Ninjazords tossed in for good measure. For what it’s worth, it’s an accurate depiction of Pudgy Pig. Marvel might recycle some old monsters a couple times, but at the very least, they do them justice, unlike the Saga series by Hamilton.

The second story, also the second story in the series to boast the distinction of being drawn by legendary illustrator Steve Dikto, features a generic pimply-faced nerd getting picked on and accepts an offer by Rita to be made big and strong, only to be turned into a monster instead. The tale is nothing special, but unlike Dikto’s first Rangers story, the artwork here is much better; less overly cartoonish and more semi-realistic.