Tag: Superman

Tout d’abord, je tiens à souhaiter à tous mes voisins francophones un joyeux national du Québec. Profitez de vos festivals pendant que je reste à la maison à regarder des vidéos Youtube en anglais.

Okay, now that we got that out of the way…

I got an e-mail reminder from someone that some show called Ironheart is set to debut today. My first reaction is “What the hell is an Ironheart?” The only thing that I know of with that name is that it’s a title of a Japanese superheroine porn movie that came out years ago. I never saw it myself, but I’ve heard good things. Anyway, I don’t give it another thought.

Then I frequent some comic site somewhere – name withheld to protect the guilty – and they mention something called Ironheart that’s based on a comic that apparently nobody likes… and it’s a Marvel thing. Again, I draw a complete blank.

Then I give it a little bit of thought and it hits me… oh, right, Ironheart. That thing where little black girl makes her own Iron Man suit and… apparently, nobody likes the character, but they still insist on pushing her as the next big thing. And so she gets the MCU treatment because… little black girl makes an Iron Man suit and… I don’t know.

From what I understand, this was in the can and ready to go for a couple years, but they only just put this out now because David Zazlov isn’t running Marvel and so we don’t shelf projects as tax write-offs.

So they’re debuting this series and I’m like… “Why haven’t I heard of this thing?” Granted, I’m not following this MCU stuff as deeply as most people, if at all, but usually whenever there’s a new Marvel thing coming up, it at least gets mentioned or you’d get a few trailers out of it… but all I’ve was able to find was one trailer. And look, I’ve seen the trailer. I didn’t care for it. Therefore, I’m not re-subbing to Disney+ for this one show. (I just got done watching the second season of Andor, which was largely excellent. And then the sub died right after. Fine by me.)

Whoever sent me the reminder about Ironheart… thanks for reminding me of the porn parody film. That’s my biggest takeaway from this whole deal.

P.S. – I may have figured out why I missed the Ironheart trailer… because it came out on the same day that DC Studios put out their new Superman trailer. Needless to say, I was more hyped for Superman and forgot about… what’s her face again?

Besides, Superman has a dog.

That’s a good boy.

Later.

There was a Superman TV spot. People were complaining about some guy’s face looking too much like CG. And then they go, “James Guns sucks, bro! Let’s bring back the Snyderverse! They gave us Justice League. Surely, they’ll drop everything to have Zack Snyder come back and continue feeding us our table scraps! Restore the Snyderverse, I say. HASH TAG RESTORE THE SNYDERVERSE.

Yeah… no, thanks. I’m good.

They had their chance. It didn’t pan out. Now it’s someone else’s turn to play in the toybox. Zack Snyder’s doing fine with his pseudo-Star Wars rip-off stuff or whatever you call that Rebel Moon stuff. The DC Universe stuff will be business as usual. I’m actually looking forward to a Superman movie rather than rolling my eyes in contempt. Besides, if restoring the Snyderverse means losing this…

Then I want nothing to do with that shit, man.

The SnyderVerse is dead.

Bury it.

And yes, it did bleed.

The Flash movie is a little over a month away from being released… and I am not excited about it.

I’ve already talked a bit about the second trailer that came out a couple weeks ago over at the DTM-Cast – it’s practically the last 5-10 minutes of the program – but I will re-iterate what I said there here. I’m kinda stoked that they somehow managed to convince Michael Keaton to do one last run as Batman and while him being copiously CG’ed doesn’t instill much inspiration, I would be totally down with seeing the dude come back into the fold. Clearly, I’m not the only one; a lot of people are excited over this.

So they brought back Michael Keaton to the Batcave… and this – this – is the fucking movie they decide to put him in.

Forget all the shit that’s going on with Ezra Miller in real life that’s apparently being glossed over because he/she/they/it/shit/whatever scores points on that diversity checklist that protects you from punishment for being an all-around horrible human being. I was never a fan of Miller’s take on the character; I find his/her/their/its/shits/whatevers take on Barry Allen to be annoying as fuck and not in an endearing way. Not even the almighty Snyder Cut did much to fix the issues that I had with this jabron, so to have an entire movie focused on this version of Barry Allen was already raising several red flags.

And then you add in another version being played by the same actor… fuck me, I would’ve been happier if it had been Grant Gustin doing a different version of Barry that isn’t whatever he does on the CW show… or maybe bring back John Wesley Shipp as 90s Flash; fuck that Crisis crossover because I don’t count that shit. Hell, I’ll even take the guy who played the Flash in that shitty Justice League pilot that never made air!

(Fun fact: The Justice League pilot film features a character called Fire, who was played by Michelle Hurd, who is probably better known these days for playing that Raffi person in Star Trek: Picard. The more you know, I guess.)

But on top of all of that, the premise of your one Flash movie that you’ve been trying to turn into a thing for a good long while… is based on the comic book event called Flashpoint, where Barry goes back in time to save his mom from dying and that results in the timeline getting fucked up. And now he has to assemble a team together to go and fix his fuck-ups.

For the record, I’ve never been a fan of Flashpoint; I’ve said as much in the past. So for a whole movie to be based on that is even more a red flag.

But the sad thing is that we’re not even doing the actual Flashpoint story here. Michael Keaton is playing Bruce Wayne, not Thomas Wayne as was the case in the comic. And the big cataclysmic event taking place in this movie seems to be a retread of Man of Steel – except now instead of a Superman, we now have a Supergirl… or a Superwoman… or something? We got a new Super person who probably would’ve been better off wearing Henry Cavill’s old costume instead of the cheap costume they stuck her in. I mean, seriously, this looks something you’d get off AlieExpress for twenty bucks. It’s that bad looking and a surprising oversight from a studio who is usually more careful in how to present these characters.

Also, this thing is dealing with multiverses, isn’t it?

Apparently, James Gunn – the fellow overseeing the DC Universe creative direction going forward – says this is going to change everything. I wonder if this was always the case or something he pulled out of his ass to justify this thing’s existence. And I’m not railing on James Gunn – he produced a couple entertaining films with his Guardians movies and his take on the Suicide Squad. So I want to think he did what he could to make this fit in with the rest of his plans for the DC film stuff.

If only he could have done the same for Shazam 2… hell, Aquaman’s sequel is supposed to be coming up. Does that fit into the grand scheme of things or is it a case where they have to release this in order to recoup the money spent on this thing? Oh wait, Amber Heard’s in that one, too, isn’t she? That’s another one with some issues that are seemingly glossed over, aren’t they?

And people give wrestling fans shit for enjoying people with spotty reputations.

Look, for those who are looking forward to this thing, more power to toy. I hope when this thing comes out, it turns out to your liking and you enjoy the show. But as for me… yeah, unless there’s a get-together and somebody else is footing the bill… I’m gonna pass on this one. Thanks but no thanks.