LATENESS NOTE: The majority of this commentary was written two days before Christmas and is left untouched. To make up for the fact that this commentary is late, I’ve added a P.S. listing my short display of Christmas gifts that isn’t money.
WARNING: Contains language and some material unsuitable for younger readers. Discretion is advised.
Continue reading “Classic Bite Commentary #71 – December 23rd, 2007”
For the past couple of weeks, Montreal was hit with a couple of snowstorms and we’ve amassed a total of about 80 centimeters worth thus far. Last year, we didn’t even have one millimeter’s worth of snow until early-January.
I’d like to find the people who wished for a White Christmas and shoot them with my Zapper, since I have no other use for it these days.
On the flip side, it seems like the bad weather has presented me with an epiphany. One that spells boycott.
Yes, folks. I’ve seen the light and after reading the latest article reporting that a certain actor still hasn’t been signed on, I feel I should make my true feelings heard.
How dare they leave out Greg Grumberg! Abrams is NOTHING without this man! I will boycott this movie until Grumberg is in the movie even as a worthless cameo of when Kirk is watching an episode of Alias or Felicity on his new Starfleet TV. Bring back Grumberg – he IS Abrams’ career!
Oh… you were thinking of Shatner? Fuck him.
Three hours of RAW and… something to show for it. While the overall show was generally better quality than what usually goes on RAW, it’s still a pretty forgettable show. However, it’s eons better than the RAW X “awards” show, which was nothing remotely special. Some quick notes on the show:
– McMahon family portrait. It was nice to see a bunch of older folks like Sunny, Godfather, Patterson… Bastion Booger and his son… uh, never mind. The more pleasant faces were tolerable.
– Ladder match was fairly good. I did get the feeling that it was safer than others (not sure how to explain it, but it felt really standard and nothing daring – just like a regular WWE show these days), but still watchable.
– RVD beats Santino with an educated foot and a four-and-a-half-star frog splash (he didn’t get hurt, so it’s only four-and-a-half stars). Short, useless match, but it’s good to see RVD and it’s nice to see that JR didn’t forget that he was a former WWE champion.
– Evolution reunion. Meh. Leads into a six-man tag-team bout which doesn’t really do much for me, but it’s a solid match nonetheless.
– Hornswoggle vs. Khali Round 2… or at least it would have been if it weren’t for the debut of a new superstar… Hulk Hogan. No comment, next.
– The “anniversary” battle royal… which is a nicer way of saying “Gimmick Match” featuring familiar faces such as Al Snow, Scotty Too Snotty, IRS, and… hey, they got Pete Gas! And Steve Blackman! And Gillberg! And who wins this match? Ted Dibiase, who buys out the match. Sweet.
– Kennedy vs. Jannetty. Okay match. Nothing special.
– And finally, Vince gets his ass kicked by Mankind, ‘Taker, and Stone Cold for naming himself the greatest RAW superstar. Stone Cold then declares the fans as the greatest superstars. I’m sure those fans are still waiting for their paycheques.
Meh. Okay show.
By the way, there’s a PPV this Sunday.
So a funny thing happened one day while I was flipping channels; I found myself watching an episode of The Price Is Right. But not with the usual host Bob Barker, who had retired, but with his successor, Drew Carey.
Yes, that Drew Carey. Of The Drew Carey Show fame.
He’s hosting The Price Is Right now.
And you know what I felt when watching this show?
Awkward.
I don’t watch The Price Is Right on a regular basis these days, but I used to remember watching the show as a kid during those weekdays when I was at home during a day off school. There was something about the soft-spoken Barker and his straw-thin microphone that stuck with me. I couldn’t tell you what that was, but it was enough that whenever I think The Price Is Right, I think Bob Barker.
And now I’m watching an episode hosted by the short and stubby funnyman from Cleveland. And it feels odd.
For what it’s worth, he’s not bad in the gig. I’ve seen him host the American version of Whose Line Is It Anyway? and he was always there, so he can do the hosting thing just fine. But it feels odd seeing him host this show, on those sets, with that same straw-thin microphone.
It’s not going to be the same.
On the other hand, Drew Carey hosting The Price Is Right is NOT the strangest thing I’ve seen this man involved in. After all, he was in the Royal Rumble once upon a time.
Yep.
Recently, WWE.com had announced the passing of Fabulous Moolah. While I would be able to recount a passing of a legend or old-school star with their accomplishments, Moolah’s only merit of note is being the longest-reigning women’s champion. Actually, all things considered, twenty-plus years as champion without any gaps is actually pretty cool considering how short most title reigns are.
That footnote becomes less cool when you ultimately learn the reasoning behind the long reign, but I’m not going to dwell on that here.
Without any hard footage or pictures of young Moolah in action, people are most likely going to remember her for being the straight woman to Mae Young’s attempts at exposure and giving birth to a plastic hand.
RIP, Moolah.
The following letter is not an open letter, but the approximation of what would be written in an open letter to Mr. Shatner should I feel compelled to do so. It does however reflect my own opinion of the whole Shatner/Star Trek XI affair.
Dear Mr. Shatner,
Word has it that you will not be in the new Star Trek movie and that you have decided to let people know about it, expressing your opinion about how it is a foolish move not to have you in it. I suppose in your mind it’s not fair, considering your old buddy Leonard Nimoy was convinced to return to acting to play the role of “Old Spock” in said movie developed by that guy who did Felicity, Alias, Lost, and some other fine shows. I suppose in your mind, it could be unjust that since you were involved in the “second” birth of Star Trek (I don’t see Jeffrey Hunter rising from the grave complaining about how HE’S not digitally recreated for the new movie since he was involved in the “first” birth of Star Trek) you should involved in the rebirth. Fortunately, Mr. Shatner, I have some soothing words to calm your nerves.
Please shut the fuck up. Pretty please.
So you’re not in the new movie. Big deal. You apparently never made a big deal of not appearing in the Next Generation show despite your best friend Leonard Nimoy appearing in two episodes. You didn’t complain about not being featured in Deep Space Nine (even though you were featured in stock footage) or Voyager. And the last time I checked, you were holding out on a possible cameo for the last Trek venture, Enterprise. And now all of a sudden, you want to be featured in Trek again.
Fuck you, Shatner.
Do yourself a favor, Billy. Just forget about showing up in Star Trek XI. It’s not going to happen and all your moaning and bitching is doing more to make you look like an egotistical asshole than it is to get you into the movie. All this bullshit you’re spewing isn’t making me feel sorry for you – it makes me nauseous. If anything, it makes me feel sorry for all the other fools who buy into your shameful bitching. I mean, I don’t see George Takei complaining about not being involved in the new Trek… he had his share with New Voyages. Same goes for Walter Koenig… and Nichelle Nichols whose name I probably misspelled and for that I apologize in advance if I did, madam. Regardless, they’re not complaining about not being in the movie. In fact, they support the movie and the actors who are playing the roles they once held. Why can’t you?
Just forget about Star Trek. Just stick with your horseback ridings. Stick with Boston Legal. Stick with writing crappy Starfleet Academy novels. Just forget the movie. If you’re lucky and you’re alive when casting for Star Trek 24: The Voyage To The Home comes around, I’m sure they’ll give you a call.
In your own immortal words, Bill… GET A LIFE! FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, IT’S JUST A MOVIE!
Thanks for listening. Good night.
Sincerely yours,
DTM
So tonight’s Cyber-Sunday, WWE’s “interactive” PPV that will no doubt get canned next year. For those of you who have no idea how a concept this convoluted came to play, let’s dwell in a bit of history, shall we?
Welcome to the third weekly Bite in a row. Good lord, when will the misery stop?! Not much to say this week, so let’s get to it.
Continue reading “Classic Bite Commentary #70 – October 21st, 2007”
Welcome to the Bite. As stated on the Blog, this is the second of four weekly commentaries. If you’re wondering why I’m adopting a weekly system despite my mentioning it on the Blog, I’ll repeat it here: Pretty soon, the blog will be hitting 666 posts and I want to make this something special… like the Beast From Krypton or something. Because of this, I’m going to do weekly commentaries for the month of October to go along with the weekly updates on the Webstation. Because these are weekly updates, there won’t be much stuff in them outside of what would normally be posted in a Blog entry. That having been said, let’s get started.
Continue reading “Classic Bite Commentary #69 – October 14th, 2007”
Just for shits and giggles… why not revisit Action Comics #666?
There’s no devil worshipping in this issue, but it does open with Superman going mad and on a killing spree… so I guess that’s the closest thing to demonic or devilish tales to be had here. Alas, the cover story kind of gives way that all is not what it seems, but how we get there is… well, it boils down to a cliche used to dismiss the sort of tales that would once be advertised as “imaginary stories.” This was the 90s. We don’t have room for imaginary stories unless they’re part of our great canon.
The core of the story boils down to exploring Superman’s fear of losing control and going crazy, which is something that writers like to explore every so often to varying degrees of success. Before this issue came along, there was an arc where Superman had exiled himself into space after killing some dudes (I think it was kryptonians from a parallel world; I don’t recall) and that probably did a better job of exploring that fear over the course of several issues than this one issue could.
For a quick standalone story, it’s a nice, easy read that falls back on some cliche concepts to bring everything back to status quo. The art in general ain’t too shabby, either. A bit messy in some places, but otherwise, pretty good.
Just as an aside, we’re not doing Detective Comics #666 for the simple reason being that it’s the penultimate chapter of the comic event “Knightfall”, the saga that saw Bane break the Bat and a new Batman come in to take the reign. Maybe someday we’ll give that saga a proper look… maybe.
dtm666 