DTM BLOG Classics #45 – Some Quick Rasslin’ Bits

I had written a nice post yesterday about the Irate Gamer’s latest episode (half a review of the SNES Aladdin game and half cheesy variety show), but alas the post didn’t upload. Rather than repost the whole spiel, I’ll just say this:

Mr. Bores, your production is fairly impressive by YouTube standards, but your actual reviewing skills leave much to be desired. It seems obvious to me that this show of yours is becoming more and more gimmicky each time (and to be fair, some could say the same about AVGN). Your NEO episodes are fairly close to the review style that is respectable, so try applying that type of effort into your original show and I’ll be happy. Thanks.

A couple other quick comments:

– WWE has signed former NWA/TNA World champion Christian (Cage) for a second stint in the company; a guy who was poised to be in the main event picture with a run-in at the Royal Rumble before things changed; a guy who has pretty much done it all and left the company because he wasn’t getting the treatment he felt he deserved; a guy whose talent and drive was overlooked the first time around… and they dump him on the third-rate television show to feud with some guy named Jack Swagger, who happens to be champion on the show?

Wow… just wow. I don’t know whether this is supposed to be a step up or not. Certainly not the type of return I was expecting Christian (Cage) to make. But whatever makes him happy, I guess.

– Brett Rattner, the guy responsible for three Rush Hour flicks and one shitty X-Men movie, has been tapped to bring the Image Comics comic Youngblood to the big screen. Apparently, I missed the entire demand for a Youngblood movie… what, were the rights to Doom’s IV too expensive for the producers?

– Chris Jericho got into an altercation with some stupid fans who wouldn’t leave him alone and ended up punching one of them after being provoked and pushed around. Kids, when wrestlers go home, LET THEM GO HOME. You have nothing to gain by being a complete douche to the other guy. If a wrestler or anyone else knocks you out, it’s because you’re the one being the asshole and not the other guy. Props to Jericho for standing up to the Confederacy of Dunces in Victoria, BC.

– Just to comment on the GSP Vasoline situation going on after his last fight… apparently, Vasoline is the new steroid in UFC. Wouldn’t surprise me if most guys are using Vasoline. Seriously, who cares?

That’s it for now. Later.

RAW (Feb. 2nd, 2009) – Don’t Come Back, Ric!

So I’m going to bed now, but I just wanted to comment on a couple things before I ignore the rest of RAW.

– A message to Ric Flair: DON’T COME BACK. STAY AS FAR AWAY AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE! You’ve had a great, graceful exit last year and one of the more classier endings to a long, significant career. Don’t fuck it up with another cheap payday that will result in a inferior comeback match. I’m begging you, man. Don’t prostitute your career like Mick Foley did. Merci et salut la visite… or something.

– For a brief moment, I was actually rooting for Randy to give Nipple H a punt before Shane ruined the whole thing. At first, I attributed this to my having issues, but I prefer to go with the logic that anything that gets Stephanie, her shill voice, and wooden acting off my TV for a good long time is perfectly acceptable. Alas, it was not to be.

– Another sidenote is this whole Jericho/Rourke thing. Here’s hoping Rourke doesn’t wrestle at Wrestlemania… alas, it’s still going to happen, isn’t it?

That’s it. I go to bed.

Obama Buries Washington Snow

Original Source article: http://www.montrealgazette.com/Obama+heats+over+Capitol+cold+snap/1227166/story.html

You know things are bad when your president thinks your capital is full of chickens because of some ice.

“Can I make a comment that is unrelated to the economy very quickly and it has to do with Washington?” President Barrack Obama told reporters prior to a White House meeting with business leaders early Wednesday morning.

“My children’s school was canceled today. Because of what? Some ice?”

“Yessir, Mr. President,” replied a swave reported, “Because of some ice.”

Apparently, President Obama was surprised by the fact that a few centimeters of snow and a thin layer of ice that was all but melted away before nine o’clock was enough for some schools to either open later or close for the day. Obama, being a man from Chicago and used to real winter weather, suggests that Washington can’t handle three centimeters of snow and that a bit of flinty Chicago toughness is needed.

Congratulations, Toronto. You are no longer the wussiest city in winter.

Now, to be fair, it can be argued that Washington doesn’t have the proper means to deal with this “extreme” weather. Mind you, they could have pumped more funds into better snow equipment, but then you’d be taking away from funding for the War on Terror… or is it the War on Christmas?

Oh who cares?

Classic Bite Commentary #85 – January 28th, 2009

Hope everyone has had a good holiday season and new year. So far, 2009 has been pretty much meh… but other than a couple high points and the usual endurance of Montreal cold weather and a broken water main downtown, things have been pretty average. Nothing to really complain about though…

Continue reading “Classic Bite Commentary #85 – January 28th, 2009”

RAW (Jan. 26th, 2009) – Randy Has Issues…

Randy Orton comes out with lawyers, reveals that he has IED, and threatens to sue if he’s fired. He also threatens to sue if he doesn’t get his contracted title shot that he won last night. He then apologizes to Mr. McMahon for punting him in the head…

…now if I’m making this sound drab, it’s on purpose. They’re selling this whole bit where knocking out Vince is this unholy thing that is almost sacreligious… and yet the main inductee of this year’s Hall of Fame is a guy who made a living beating the crap out of McMahon every chance he gets. How times have changed…

PPV Predictions – WWE Royal Rumble 2009

So, hey. Did you hear? Dennis Rodman won the Celebrity Championship Wrestling competition show created by Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff. If that isn’t a scripted ending, then I don’t know what is.

With that said, here’re my picks for tonight’s amazing Royal Rumble PPV.

Continue reading “PPV Predictions – WWE Royal Rumble 2009”

Street Fighter… EXTREME Blu-Ray edition

Just in time for the new Legend of Chun-Li flick coming out in February, Universal is also re-releasing the old Van-Damme flick next month too… but this time, it’s an EXTREME edition. It’s got some special features here and there… and there’s some content on Street Fighter IV in there too, so there’s new stuff.

So if you haven’t bought the movie when it was last released on DVD, here’s your chance to look back on one of the more campy films out there… and then shed a tear as you realize that this film, while not exactly top-of-the-line in the Street Fighter mythos, has way more personality and life to it than the Chun-Li flick… which looks more like a generic Hong Kong flick than a Street Fighter film… and not even a good one.

An Incoherent Rambling About Spider-Man’s Brand New Day

There’s word that Spider-Man has undergone a change of late. Marvel has been proudly touting its Brand New Day storyline, which is supposed to introduce the first new status quo for its popular superhero. Now I haven’t been following comics in a good couple years, but I figure let’s jump in and see how Spidey’s been doing since he opened himself up to the world.

So I come back to comics, start reading this bold new vision that Marvel has released and what do I learn?

– Peter Parker and Mary-Jane are no longer married and are apparently on bad terms with each other. Apparently this happened due to a deal with Mephisto that he would save frail Aunt May for the existence of their marriage. Yeah, that alone is pretty stupid and totally against the Parker character. How many people close to Peter have died? Did he make a deal to bring back any of those characters? That’s just bullshit! Why don’t we make a deal that brings back Uncle Ben too? Or any of the other 500 characters that have died in the Spider-Man comics… oh wait.

– Harry Osborn is back from the dead, on good terms with Peter, and hates Spider-Man… Christ, are you fucking kidding me? Bad enough we brought back Norman Osborn for that Clone Saga years ago, but now we’re brining back Harry because of this whole Devil deal? Bullshit! Again, why not bring back Uncle Ben instead of Harry? And if Harry hates Spider-Man, shouldn’t he hate Peter too? After all, Peter came out of the closet and… oh wait just a minute there, King.

– Nobody knows who Spider-Man is anymore. Don’t worry, it’s still Peter Parker, but apparently the whole thing is reorganized so that the whole unmasking thing that was much publicized, debated, criticized, analysed, whatever… never happened. Why would you do this? This is a move I expect from the Distinguished Competitor, not fucking Marvel. Again… BULLSHIT! It’s almost like they’re trying to rewrite history.

– Ol’ Jonah suffers a heartattack and his rival buys the Bugle and renames it the DB. Yeah, really fucking original. The DB. Yeah… BULLSHIT!

– Spider-Man no longer has organic webshooters, but the old-school mechanical ones. Some people might be happy with this, but I actually preferred the organic shooters. After all, spiders don’t have mechanical shooters, but I digress.

– A new heroine called Jackpot appears… and you know it’s obviously Mary Jane because she has red hair and calls Spider-Man “Tiger”. Christ! And who the fuck is Menace? Another goblin-like foe? BULLSHIT!

How do you fuck up Spider-Man?! Please tell me! PLEASE!

Okay… I guess I should be asking myself if the books are any good.

Truth be told, the stories aren’t that bad. They do try to bring back some semblance of classic old-school Spider-Man, but apparently nobody clued in on the fact that Peter is still old. The art for these books are… mediocre at best. Don’t get me wrong it’s not terrible and it’s fairly decent, but it’s nothing that hasn’t been done before. Overall, it’s worth a quick look, but the whole rewriting of history just ruins the whole thing for me. Again, why do these things need to change? It simply doesn’t make any sense. It reeks of… BULLSHIT!