Star Trek: The Motion Picture In 5 Seconds

In the grand tradition of Five Second Movies that don’t actually last five seconds… cooked this one up around April 2009, but never bothered to look at it until now.

Truth be told, this one’s not entirely accurate. There’s not one single overdramatized beauty shot of the Enterprise to be found here.

Ramblemania 25

Since it’s been about a week since last week’s Wrestlemania both enlightened and disappointed us with a span of four hours, I figured that I’d post my thoughts from the Bite commentary currently in development. This was written the night after, by the way, so opinions now may vary.

Here’s a bit of pointless trivia for you: The actual 25th anniversary of Wrestlemania is NEXT YEAR. This year’s rendition is actually the 25th edition of the flagship wrestling event. But don’t tell anybody that; they might get confused by the whole deal, given the company’s hype and hardline push to convince you otherwise.

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DTM BLOG Classics #47 – Quick Blog Observations

Every so often, I venture down the hallow halls of the original DTM Blog… and every so often, I’ll post quick updates from current days. It’s an interesting little side project that sometimes makes it worth revisiting the old site. Here are some quick examples and observations.

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Classic Bite Commentary #86- March 29th, 2009

So it’s been a good couple months since my last Bite commentary and outside a couple blog posts, not much has been coming out of my end. Since there’s been a bunch of stuff that has happened in the two months since then, I won’t go into great detail as to what has happened with me and other stuff worthy of interest… in quick point form. So here we go:

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DTM BLOG Classics #46 – Steve Shaves, Freddie Leaves

According to PWinsider.com, actor Freddie Prinze Jr. is no longer working in WWE. For those who didn’t know, Prinze was part of the Smackdown creative team under Michael Hayes since July of last year. Amazing that he even lasted that long, but the same article says that he was well liked by the company, so I don’t know.

Clicking on this link from PWPIX.NET will show screencaps of a clean-shaven Stone Cold walking around a street corner or something. Yes, he looks old. That’s what happens when you’re old. You look old. Either that or you look like plastic.

Apparently, Stone Cold shaving his beard is such major news that it has made the headlines on rajah.com. Unfortunately, wwe.com failed to mention that bit, as they try to avoid mentioning that Stone Cold died with the shaving of the beard or some stupid shit like that. Apparently, people will have to settle for Stunning Steve instead. Whatever.

Found this at someone’s blog and thought to share them here. Can you guess all the champions in the allotted time?

Guess the IC Champions – Click hereGuess the WWE Champions – Click here
Guess the Kings of the Ring – Click here

COMIC REVIEW – Star Trek: The Next Generation (DC Comics, 1988 Miniseries)

Star Trek: The Next Generation debuted in 1987 and became a surprise hit. DC Comics, at the time producing a successful enough Star Trek comic book, would eventually produce a miniseries based on the new show lasting six issues. Naturally, the miniseries is non-canon to the larger Trek canon, so put down your phaser canons because this thing is BONKERS.

The Enterprise crew get into the Christmas spirit or something and they meet Santa Claus. There’s a three-issue arc featuring Q as an absolute madman, which may or may not be far off from the actual character; who the fuck knows. Honestly, I feel like whoever wrote that second season of Picard read this thing and made old Q seem like this Q… almost. Fundamentally, the comic takes a lot of liberties with the source material and I’m not quite how much material they had to work with when they put this series together. But reading this stuff now and knowing how the series (as well as the franchise as a whole) would turn out afterwards, this feels like some whacked-out fanfiction written by someone who has no idea what they’re doing. And I’m not faulting Mike Carlin on this one; it’s entirely possible he had little to work with and thus needed to fill the blanks.

I’ll give him this much; I was thoroughly entertained throughout. This, along with the artwork making all the characters appear buffer and more seemingly well-built with Herculean physiques – they had spandex spacesuits at the time, so I’m sure the art direction was a Rodenberry wet dream. But listen, you can debate the continuity snags (Stardates has you assuming this takes place in the second season, but it’s clearly based on the first since Riker has no beard and Tasha is still alive) and some of the minor nitpicks, but the one thing you can’t accuse this of is boring. For six issues, you’re getting some of the more wacky takes on Star Trek that you’re gonna get, almost right up there with the old Gold Key stuff from back in the days. Don’t come into this with high expectations and you’re going to enjoy this one immensely. Highly recommended for the lulz.