RAW (Aug. 10, 2009) – Abuse To Children Is Funny According To WWE

Only a couple noteworthy bits to comment on about last night’s RAW:

– Nice to see Sgt. Slaughter stick to his patriotic roots and completely vilify himself before the Calgary crowd. Nothing like a good ol’ US vs Canada cheap heat to make an instant villain for the night.

– Shawn as a chef? Not a good idea, not unless you want grease fires and little girls getting their teeth knocked in with a superkick… In any case, be glad it wasn’t Dude Love – that Sweet Shin Music might have done more damage.

(2019 Context: HHH was in the neighborhood looking for HBK, who was apparently out of action and retired. Hunter finds ol’ Shawn working as a cafeteria chef and after a bit of coaxing, Shawn decides to return to WWE by superkicking his old boss as well as a little girl. Fun fact: the little girl was played by Shawn’s actual little girl… so, insert jokes about Shawn being a bad parent and then rescinding them because I’m sure he’s a swell dad.)

RAW (August 3rd, 2009) – Ban The Hangover

(2022 Update: Gather round, kids. The long lost RAW musings on what may be one of the worst episodes of Monday Night RAW ever conceived and think about how many dull and terrible episodes of RAW you’ve seen over the years to be worthy of THAT lofty accolade. I wasn’t even remotely aware that I had this originally, but there you go.)

So a couple days ago, I sat through one of the worst episodes of RAW that I’ve seen in a long time. Oh, don’t get me wrong. There have been some really bad RAW shows at times and sometimes, WWE likes to push the envelope on how bad their booking is, but this was really bad. Unbelievably bad. As in “who writes this stuff and why are they allowed to live” bad, if I may pull an Ashens.
So they got a couple new stars from that Hangover movie that I’m never going to watch because it looks stupid. Jeremy Niven and Dr. Ken, I think their names were. They were fucking awful. You know those guys who try so hard to be funny and they end up being the most annoying and unfunny part of the show to such a degree they take the whole show down by their mere existence within it? That is these two assclowns. They were annoying. They were not funny. The Dr. Ken guy, in particular, makes Jar Jar Binks sedate by comparison. They were awful. I did not even any satisfaction from John Cena beating these guys up at the end (after he beat Miz to banish him from the Summerfest, whatever that is).
If this is what we got to look forward to in the future when it comes to these guest GMs or whatever they’re called, this is going to be a long and hard road ahead.
Meanwhile, Hunter gets beat up by Cody and Ted Jr… he shrugs it off and decides to bring back DX… except when he calls Shawn, Shawn is busy with a job. This sort of limp dick humor is not lost… nor is it all that funny… and DX is usually better at the cheap laughs. Also, Big Show gets DQ’ed in a match with Kofi for punching him too many times or something. Chavo gets killed by Mark Henry in the eternal struggle between himself and a short fellow.
This took me a couple days to process and chances are I may never recover from some tripe. This show was terrible, I’m never going to watch it again… is what I would be saying if I wasn’t already watching this tripe on a regular basis, so… see you next week, I guess.
Did I mention that this show sucked?

PPV Predictions – WWE Night Of Champions 2009

Been a while since I did predictions for a WWE pay-per-view, so why not? Anyway, tonight’s gimmick show has all the titles up for grabs in some for or another. Unfortunately, the sad attempt to make all the lower-tier titles relevant fails as none of the title matches are all that interesting, but who knows? I may very well be surprised.

Um, let’s start with the spares, shall we?

Continue reading “PPV Predictions – WWE Night Of Champions 2009”

DTM BLOG Classics #49 – The Wrath Of Crohn

Nasty little stomach virus has kept me incapacitated for the better part of a week… so bad I had to miss two days of work which pisses me off to no end, but I’m starting to feel a little better. A trip to the hospital has shown that I’m not suffering from any ulcers, faulty appendices, kidney stones, or any of that fun stuff. I still have to go back for a CT scan, but you know… I’m not going to jinx it. Bye.

You remember “Encounter At Farpoint”, the pilot episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation? Remember when they’re down on the planet and Deanna Troi is suddenly whimpering “Pain! Pain! So much pain!” Remember that?

Yeah, that’s what I’m starting to feel like right now.

Pain… so much fucking pain…

For the moment, effective pain relievers and herbal teas are helping with my recent episode of torture – and with two weeks off, I’ll have plenty of time to get some personal projects done… because I’m apparently not well enough to travel.

(2025 Update: I don’t go out and explicitly say it, but this was around the time that I first got my diagnosis of Crohn’s Disease, which is something that continues to affect me to this very day. I’m managing, though… that much, I’m thankful for.)

William… oh who cares?

Trekweb.com has posted an interesting tidbit on why William Shatner (old Kirk) has yet to see the new Star Trek movie. Here’s the link for people who actually care…

So the guy wanted to be in the movie, they made a cameo role for him, he shot it down because it wasn’t a major part, ended up not being in the movie, and he decides for whatever reason not to see it. And yet he holds out hope that they’ll fit him in the new movie? Really?

So why am I wasting my time with this? Furthermore, why is Shatner giving his reasons for not seeing the new movie anything resembling news? Is it really that slow of a news day?

Look, if the guy doesn’t want to see the movie, fine. I don’t care. Nobody’s forcing him… just do us all a favor and don’t give this guy any more attention than he deserves. I mean, what’s next? “William Shatner’s toenail makes cameo in Star Trek 25?” Please.

Billy Mays (1958-2009)

Billy Mays, the energetic bearded pitchman who appeared in six hundred commercials to promote a whole bunch of stuff like Oxi-Clean and Orange Glo, passed away yesterday. The world has lost a talented salesman and a true, hard-working professional in a world that is lacking of such people.

Rest in peace, Mr. Mays. Hopefully, the afterlife will take heed of your loud sales pitches and buy the products you advertise.

RAW (June 22nd, 2009) – Rump A Dump Tump

The first episode of Donald Trump’s RAW… turned out to be its last.

Might as well get it out of the way. There was no way in hell anybody was expecting this Trump RAW experiment to last longer than a week, especially after the news of WWE stock prices going way the fuck down when the news broke, resulting in WWE having to backtrack and sent out a presser saying that the purchase is part of the storylines and not a real, honest-to-god purchase that had a real, honest-to-god negative effect on WWE stock value.

But yes… Donald Trump “bought” RAW in storyline last week and declared that his first episode of RAW as owner would be commercial free… for three whole hours. Sounds too good to be true, right?

Well…

Continue reading “RAW (June 22nd, 2009) – Rump A Dump Tump”

RAW (June 15th, 2009) – Rump Buys TRAW

Been a while, but might as well comment on this:

– Donald Trump “buying” RAW just HAS to be a desperate attempt at getting back the show’s sagging ratings… even though Trump probably won’t show up for the most part during the show’s run and will probably assign a general manager person, thus making the whole experiment pointless. Bottom line, expect this to last a few weeks before Trump sells it back to Vince for five dollars or something.

– Really enjoyed the Triple-Threat World Title match as well as the Jericho/Mysterio match, while I pretty much slept through the RAW portions of the show. Seems like Smackdown is finally starting to become the better show… it’ll be a while before it hits 2002 levels, but it’s getting there.

– Speaking of sleep, Triple H wins another title shot against the new champion… Randy Orton. Wow, I honestly don’t know what’s going to happen in their match next week.

– Commercial-free RAW? Probably not here. I expect a couple Molson ads and more “greatness” from Jack Korpella.

Anyway, enough waffle. I’m going back to bed.

Street Fighter IV PC Requirements

So Capcom released the specs for the PC version of Street Fighter IV. For those who don’t have gaming consoles of the hi-def variety, this would seem like a suitable replacement. My only concern is the SECUROM protection that’s going to be employed. I don’t know if my love for the Street Fighter series will be enough to overcome my disdain of modern PC game security measures, a contributing factor to me not getting involve in PC gaming… well, that and the fact that the games are either too demanding for my rinky-dink PC or they just don’t seem to be worth my money. But we’ll see.

Anyway, courtesy of this site, here’re the specs:

Minimum
OS: Windows XP
CPU: Intel Pentium4 2.0GHz or higher
RAM: 1GB or higher
HDD: 10GB of free space or more
Video Card: DirectX 9.0c/Shader3.0 or higher compatible, NVIDIA GeForce6600 series, ATI Radeon(TM) X1600 or higher or higher, VRAM i?š256MB or higher
Sound: DirectSound compatible, DirectX 9.0c (or higher) compatible
Input Devices: Mouse, Keyboard

Maximum
OS: Windows Vista
CPU: Intel Core2Duo 2.0GHz or higher
RAM: 2GB or higher
HDD: 10GB of free space or more
Video Card: DirectX 9.0c/Shader3.0 or higher compatible, NVIDIA GeForce8600 series or higher, ATI Radeon(TM) X 1900 or higher, VRAM i?š512MB or higher
Sound: DirectSound compatible, DirectX 9.0c (or higher) compatible
Input Devices: Gamepad i?šXbox360 Controller for Windows

Quick E3 2009 Thoughts

E3 has come and gone… and I didn’t go. Shame.

But in any case, some strange has happened as there are actually some games worth my attention these days. Go figure. Here’re the ones worthy of my attention:

New Super Mario Bros. Wii
Seems to be a follow-up on the similarly titled DS version that was released years ago. Neat 4-player function with gameplay worthy of having Screwattack rename it Super Mario Assholes. Let’s put it another way. Remember playing 2-player games in the original Mario Bros. and playing all sorts of dirty tricks to get the other guy killed? Well, almost the same deal here. Can’t wait to play this one.

Metroid: Other M (Wii)
I’ll be completely honest: I haven’t really cared for the Metroid series ever since Zero Mission. I’ve tried the first Metroid Prime, but it really didn’t do much for me and therefore I had no reason to pursue the rest of the series. Having said that, this game sort of peeks my interest, but I’ll have to wait and see where this one goes.

Castlevania: Lords of Shadow (XB360/PS3)
Comments on this title has been referring to this as a God-of-War ripoff. While I can’t really comment on that (I never really played God of War – I haven’t been keeping up, have I?), it does seem like a nice, quick-paced and frentic action game – something I felt Castlevania really needed in its transition to 3D rather than the previous offerings. While I regret not being able to play this game – lest I somehow conjure up a PS3 or 360 out of thin air – I do look forward to what other people think. Who knows? This might be the game that has been going for a stronger machine.

Tatsunoko vs. Capcom (Wii)
So I don’t need to import this game? Cool… I mean, the game looks really, really slick. Should be a frantic game indeed.

That’s about it, really… Yeah, that’s it. Bye.