A Double Dose of TMNT (NES) Angry Reviews + A Bonus Rant

The original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles video game was one of four NES games that I got for my 10th birthday, the others being Super Mario Bros. 3, Castlevania II: Simon’s Quest, and The Punisher. And although the game was crazy difficult – the damn dam had me for a good long while before I stopped being stupid – I always enjoyed the heck out of that game. Even in more recent years when I re-purchased the game at a flea market, I still think that despite some of its flaws, it’s still a solid action game with a nice attempt at non-linear explorational gameplay. I also like the ability to swap between the four Turtles, as each play somewhat differently and have their uses… although admittedly, you’ll mostly be using Leonardo and Donatello due to their long-range weapons. But still, it’s a fun little game and I enjoyed this more than the two arcade-inspired sequels on the same system.

I never understood the hate towards the game recently. Wasn’t this high on the Nintendo Power charts for a good long while when the game was relatively new? What could have happened between then and now that has caused the game to garner such unnecessary and unwarranted hatred?

Oh right. The Angry Video Game Nerd said it was bad and people are basically sheep and agreed with him. And while I’ll admit that I found some of his videos funny and somewhat informative, the first time I saw this “review” back in 2006, I was pretty pissed off that he would trash a pretty good game. Some of the complaints he conveyed require suspension of ignorance (a term coined by former Yt reviewer Undercoverfilmer that was used in regards to his SF2010 video). And there are a couple points that, while are admittedly good points, can also be applied to a number of other games that can be considered good. But I guess because those games are more popular, those “flaws” can be overlooked, right?

Since this is essentially a response to what is laughingly called a review, I guess I can call this a counter-review; commenting on certain points while providing some additional points on the game. And you know what? I’ll even bring up some points from a “review” of the same game by Chris “The Irate Gamer” Bores… a review that most have noted to be suspiciously equavalent to the AVGN’s review, but has a couple points that can also be considered pretty stupid as well.

Oh… before anyone gets any ideas on starting the usual fanboy wars in the comments, don’t bother. I’ll be watching the comments like a hawk. There are many other places to fan that shit out – this isn’t one of them. With that said…

*For the sake of this posting, I will only be focusing on IG’s TMNT1 review and not the mini-reviews of the TMNT sequels. Those aren’t relevant to this posting.

Continue reading “A Double Dose of TMNT (NES) Angry Reviews + A Bonus Rant”

Why Are We Doing The Irate Gamer’s Tetris episode?

“Why? Why Tetris? I’m not kidding when I say everyone and their grandmother have played this game. How can you even review Tetris?”

-Batdan, Irate Gamer Sucks

I should probably note that I was going to hold this off until much later, but since this was the only grumble grumble that was remotely finished. I figured that I post this one. Hopefully, the next one will not be a Chris Bores-related diatribe, because he’s not the only person whose reviews I have issues with. In fact, there’s another one that involves a game that both he and some other guy (rhymes with wolfe) has done… but that’s another story.

So yeah, we’re looking at IG’s Tetris review.

Tetris is perhaps one of the most popular casual games ever made and we have Soviet Russia to thank for such a thing (and this isn’t a knock on its creator, Alexey Pajitnov, who really is Russian. The game was once called the Soviet Mind Game by Tengen.) What is there to complain about in Tetris? Well, Irate Gamer is going to guide us through this and I’m going to inquire about some stuff and ignore the pointless skits… all except two. You’ll know it when I see it.

Continue reading “Why Are We Doing The Irate Gamer’s Tetris episode?”

IMPACT (March 15th, 2010) – Why Am I Watching This Show?

The show begins with Hulk Hogan and Abyss driving up in a golden hummer. I wonder if it’s the same hummer that ran over Nash ages ago, but painted gold. Apparently, there’s a clip on Youtube about a gold boat somewhere that this may have gotten inspired by. I wouldn’t know. Oh, and also in the hummer were Jeff Hardy and new signee Rob Van Dam, last seen getting beat up by Sting after a fluke win.

Ric Flair and AJ Styles (your TNA World Champion, by the way) is out for a promo on Abyss… apparently, there’s a PPV coming up. Ric is somehow already bleeding; either that or he hasn’t showered in a week and probably couldn’t afford to. Otherwise, he wouldn’t be here wrestling for TNA. Jeff talks about getting high and stuff… this guy got arrest for drug possession before he got signed by TNA, didn’t he? Isn’t he supposed to be on trial? Is this the kind of… never mind.
Hogan later came for a promo and challenged Sting. Sting came out and RVD attacked from behind. I can’t believe we’re doing Hogan vs. Sting… again. Does Hogan get his win back here or something? Why am I watching this show?
Eric Bischoff and Mick Foley had a thing where Eric threatened to shave off Mick’s hair and beard, only to get socko’ed and his head shaved himself. I’m falling asleep. I’m turning this shit off.
Why did I watch this show?
Maybe I should delete this and never post it. I don’t think people need to know about this show and maybe TNA will kill themselves off due to their own stupidity. At this point, such a thing wouldn’t surprise me.

WWE's Top 25 Impactful Women

Interesting choice of words? Impactful… even when you’re trying to avoid TNA, you fuck up.

Anyway, it’s a list I’ve come across through a secondary source… primarily an online article that features Lisa Marie (aka Victoria in WWE and Tara in TNA) being snubbed from the list. Yes, despite being a fairly talented woman wrestler and making more of an impact than a good chunk of the current Divas, ol’ Lisa Marie is snubbed because she’s in TNA. Someone commented that it was bound to happen… why else would Jeff Hardy not be listed on WWE.com? You don’t think it has anything to do with the drug-related charges and court issues he’s having right now, would it?

Oh… oh, right. The list. So here’s the list, along with my thoughts on each entry.

25 – Torrie Wilson
She brought a puppy to the ring which gave Jerry Lawler a distraction from her other “puppies” so to speak. She was hot and I guess she made somewhat of an impact.

24 – Bull Nakano
Really? Surprised you didn’t mention Bertha Faye… Honestly, I never saw Bull Nakano in the ring outside of a Survivor’s Series match, so I guess I can take your word for it.

23 – Ivory
Ivory was a former GLOW girl, you know. That isn’t exactly impactful, but damn she could put out a good match… even through those terrible RTC months where she’s wearing the granny get-up. So yeah, impact indeed.

22 – Kelly Kelly
What?… What?… Really? Kelly Kelly? Really? Kelly Kelly? Maybe if it was Kevin Kelly, but… Kelly Kelly? Really?… Boy, this list is going downhill already, isn’t it?

21 – Jacqueline
I don’t know. Don’t get me wrong. She’s a fairly competent wrestler and has great form. But I don’t know if you consider her impactful… unless showing off your boobs to a U.K. crowd is considered impactful. If that were the case, we might as well toss Miss Kitty on the list for the same reason. But instead we get…

20 – Vickie Guerrero
You’re kidding, right? What was her impact? Eddiesploitation? So Lisa Marie got snubbed for Vickie? Seriously? Look, I’m not going poke at her physical stature or anything (because people higher on this list look far worse), but what impact has Vickie ever done to deserve a spot on this prestigious list of respectable… oh who am I kidding? NEXT!

19 – Molly Holly
Started off as a Macho Man valet during the Macho Roid year of 1999 before becoming a Holly cousin, getting her head shaved bald, and making an impact with her big fat ass that was neither big or fat. Those kooky WWE writers… it’s probably a good thing that they have all these interchangeable Barbie dolls, because if a talented and gorgeous woman like Nora was around, they’d have no clue what to do with her.

18 – Stacy Keibler
Last seen Dancing With The Stars. Stacy was known for her long, juicy legs… so there’s your impact, so to speak. I guess anything would be better than being David Flair’s on-screen boyfriend, getting pregnant and losing the fetus in a mud wrestling match… sad that I actually remember this. See? Now THAT’s making an impact.

17 – Beth Phoenix
Unlike Beth Phoenix, whose only impact was that she gave Santino something to do. Um… yeah. It’s not all bad, though. Beth’s a toughie, for sure. I barely remember her first stint before she got sidelined with a broken jaw and she’s actually a fairly competent wrestler. But impactful? Only in Santino’s pants, I’m sure.

16 – Luna Vachon
If impactful means being the first female to be playable in a 16-bit WWF video game, then yeah. I guess you could say that. Then again, she’s another tough cookie that could make an impact in your skull… with her fist. Outside of her brief feud with Sable in 98, I haven’t seen enough of Luna to be mindful… so again, I’ll take your word for it.

15 – Miss Elizabeth
The First Lady of Wrestling… deserves to be much higher than this. Not too high considering she didn’t really do much, but higher than some of the higher ups.

14 – Melina
I guess she made somewhat of an impact. I sort of see Melina as the Latina equivalent of Trish-lite; began her WWE stint as manager of the tag-team MNM, guiding them to multiple tag-team championships, before becoming a wrestler herself and garnering multiple titles. She’s seemed to have regressed a bit though. I guess that’s what happens when you’re surrounded by Barbies.

13 – Alundra Blayze (a.k.a. Madusa)
Nice to know that Madusa is represented… even after she literally trashed the WWF Women’s title on live television. Again, haven’t seen enough of her to judge.

12 – Mae Young
If I’m going by what I’ve seen of her lately, then… I’d agree. Her appearance at the 2000 Royal Rumble is a highlight deserved to be seen by all. But I’m assuming that this is based on her earlier exploits as a wrestler and not the person who gave birth to Mark Henry’s hand. No, I’m not making this up. This actually happened… and this was after Vince Russo jumped ship to WCW.

11 – Wendi Richter
The one ended Fabolous Moolah’s reign on top and was part of that whole Rock N Wrestling movement. Haven’t seen her stuff outside of her one match at Wrestlemania I… the one that started in 1984 or something. At least according to the WWE braintrust who thought it appropriate to celebrate the 25th anniversary of Wrestlemania last year. (For those who still don’t get it, THIS YEAR marks the 25th anniversary proper of Wrestlemania.)

10 – Michelle McCool
Impactful? Only in Mean Mark’s pants… and that’s possibly the only reason she’s this high on the list. I’d tend to underestimate the current crop of Divas, but only because they give me no reason to overestimate. I look at Michelle McCool and I ask “Who’s this chick? They all look the same.” That’s not exactly the impact you’re looking for.

9 – Sunny
The original WWF Diva (so to speak) and the one to thank (or blame) for providing the current template… again, deserves to be higher than this. Damn, she was hot back in the day. Nowadays… I honestly don’t know. What? I don’t.

8 – Lita
High-flying Diva who got involved in a live-sex show (and brought in ratings) who later decided to retire and sing with Luchagores… What an impact (and what a woman… back then. Not so sure about now.) But perhaps the biggest impact she made in recent years… was not going to the Diva Battle Royal at Wrestlemania 25. Now that’s something you have to respect.

7 – Mickie James
Startred off as Trish Stratus’ psychotic fan who went down there at Mania 22 to claim her first Women’s title… the only other competent WWE Diva who could actually wrestle a good match. And she sings country music too.

6 – Sable (a.k.a. Rena Mero)
The other Diva that contributed to the current template and thus deserves your thanks (or blame) on the matter. Started off as a valet, then became a wrestler, then became a Playboy bunny, then became Vince McMahon’s plaything (lawsuit? What lawsuit), then dumped Marc Mero for Brock Lesnar. A Sable Bomb indeed.

5 – Stephanie McMahon
This is a surprise. Stephanie only on Number 5… I’d expected her to top the list based solely on her last name. Maybe this is a impartial list after all. And yes, she was a former Women’s Champion… but you’d never know because she never did anything with it until dropping it to Number 8.

4 – Sensational Sherri Martel
Sherri did it all… manager, wrestler, Hall of Famer… but did she do Playboy? Okay, that was dirty, I apologize. But still, Sherri did it all… and did it well.

3 – Chyna
Known for becoming the first women to hold the IC title by beating TNA founder Jeff Jarrett in a good housekeeping match. This is probably the only period in time that you’d want to remember Chyna by and not… whatever she’s doing right now.

2 – Fabulous Moolah
Big surprise. Moolah’s Number 2… wait, that didn’t sound right. Moolah’s on the second spot? That’s better. Well played; her 28+ year reign as Women’s Champion will never be topped… certainly not by the current crop of Divas.

1 – Trish Stratus
Trish tops it off and for good reason, starting off as a manager (and I even remember her from her appearances on that TSN show with some guy named Lansberg… it’s a Canadian issue), Trish eventually became a 7-time Women’s champion for good reason; she was one of the few Divas who could actually wrestle and do a damn good job of it.

So that was the list… meh, it was alright. A couple questionable choices here and there, but otherwise, it was okay.

But yeah, I agree. Victoria got snubbed.

RAW (March 15th, 2010) – Some Notes

Well… after reading the results for Monday’s Impact (which had a main-event between AJ Styles and Jeff Hardy, along with Bischoff getting a hair cut or something), I decided to take a chance and watch RAW, which was to feature three Wrestlemania rewind matches and some contract signing between two old guys. Some quick notes and thoughts on the show:

Continue reading “RAW (March 15th, 2010) – Some Notes”

Games We Used To Like But Now Don’t

There’s this article that I found on GameRadar called Games We Once Loved But Now Hate. It shows a list of several games that were once considered great, but haven’t really held up over the years. It’s a pretty good read, although I’d disagree that Atari 2600 games aren’t ageless. A good chunk of the games on that console might be utter crap, but I’d take any of those over the glutton of interchangeable FPS shooters that flooding the marketplace today. Just saying…

GameFAQs Review – Sonic Classic Collection (Nintendo DS)

Sonic Classic Collection, the latest collection and re-releasing of classic 2D Sonic games from Sega, comprises the first four Sonic titles on Sega Genesis; the original Sonic the Hedgehog, Sonic 2, Sonic 3, and Sonic & Knuckles. In addition to these games, you also have the lock-on variant games Knuckles in Sonic 2 and Sonic 3 & Knuckles openly accessible from the start without having to unlock them after meeting certain conditions. Along with those games, you have a rather modest collection of Sonic-related illustrations that have been featured in countless other Sonic compilations as well as various other sources… including the Internet.

And that’s about it. No extra games or hidden features. What you see is what you get with Sonic Classic Collection and for the most part, this is actually not too bad. It more than makes up for the shoddy GBA port of Sonic 1.

Now it should be noted that these games aren’t port overs – they are basically a set of ROMs running off an emulator. As such, there might be cases of graphical blurring or some slowdown issues. But that doesn’t really distract from the gameplay unless you’ve logged in many hours on the original Genesis cartridges. All the Sonic games included play, look, and sound pretty much the same way as they did way back when… and for the most part, the games control rather well with the DS Lite’s dinky D-Pad. It’s a fairly decent emulator with no major complaints on my part.

It should be noted that the ROMS for Sonic 2 and 3 (and 3 & Knuckles) have been altered somewhat to remove the two player mode and option menus. This means a lack of multiplayer options, restricting the games to a single player experience only – which will no doubt disappoint some player hoping for quick 2-player games. Also, the removal of menus makes it more difficult (almost impossible) for the old cheat codes to be implemented, forcing you to “tough it out” the old-fashioned way. This may or may not bother some people.

Another annoying aspect is that the pause function is on the touch screen rather than mapped to the Start Button or any other button on the handheld. It’s not a crippling issue, but it’s a truly awkward implementation of something as simple as a pause button. Oh well.

Also in the case of Sonic & Knuckles, its unique and dramatic mid-boss theme was replaced with the messy mid-boss theme from Sonic 3. Strange.

To make up for the changes, a quick save function was implemented to the Sonic games that didn’t originally have one (i.e. Sonic 1 & 2, Sonic and Knuckles, and Knuckles in Sonic 2). This essentially allows you to save your progress and restart at the beginning of the last act you saved at. I haven’t fully tested this, but the quick save function does save any Chaos Emeralds you may have collected along the way. The sole drawback is one save per game, but that seems to work fine.

As Sonic 3 and its lock-on cousin already have save functions, they didn’t get the quick-save function, but that’s alright. They work just fine as is.

Overall, this is a fairly solid collection of Sonic games that show the series’ high point and in all honesty, Sonic on the go is always a good thing. Those who were long-burned by Sega’s butchering of the GBA port of the original Sonic many moons ago will find that Sonic Classic Collection does a fairly good job in redeeming the stain from Sega’s sleeve. Even though they’re merely emulated versions, I suppose that’s the best we could hope for in regards to maintaining the purity of the classic Sonics. Given the last time Sega attempted to port over classic Sonic to a Nintendo handheld, this collection more than makes up for it.

BREAKDOWN
Graphics: 8/10 (true to the Genesis originals – although some blurring may occur)
Sound: 7/10 (some minor audio issues and one changed tune, but otherwise well accurate)
Gameplay: 8/10 (classic Sonic fun plays good – missing multiplayer and sound test)
Challenge: 7/10 (all the Sonic games offer a fair, moderate challenge – seeking Emeralds is also fun)
Replay Value: 7/10 (lack of multiplayer disappointing, but Sonic games are still fun)

GameFAQs Review – Fighting Force 2 (Dreamcast)

Around August 2008, I picked up a used Dreamcast and several games along with it. Among the crop of games I got was Fighting Force 2. Of course, when I saw the game, I was ignorant of all the bad press it got… So I pop the game in the Dreamcast and for some reason the bloody thing didn’t read. It just kept going to the Dreamcast menu screen thing. So in any case, for reasons I have yet to comprehend (and yes, the disc was thoroughly cleaned), I couldn’t play the game. Maybe it was a blessing in disguise or divine intervention. Doesn’t matter now. All I know is that among the small library of games, I had one dud in my collection.

Now as luck would have it, someone had a working copy of Fighting Force 2. And given that I really wanted to see for myself if I missed anything despite the bad press, I borrowed his copy and gave it a go. A couple days later, I returned the copy of the game and offered my friend a box of matches and a small container so he could burn the game away as well as the sin of having picked it up.

Yeah, that should tell you everything about my thoughts on Fighting Force 2 and I could end the review right here. But I’ll keep going.

For the most part, Fighting Force 2 takes the rather harmless-but-ultimately-boring gameplay mechanics of the original Fighting Force and shoves it down the proverbial black hole of doom to regurgiate the awful mess we’re stuck with today. Instead of four different characters with varying stats and attacks, you’re stuck with one character and he moves like a turtle… quite possibly slower than that. To make up for the slow speed, your character has the ability to make everything he touches explode into a ball of flames after a few hits. What sense does this make? Absolutely none. Does it help my chances? Of course not.

And for some odd reason, the exploding chairs yield weapons such as pipes and guns which can be used against your enemies, who are easily subdued by these weapons that are literally laying all over the place. Indeed, your only real difficulty in Fighting Force 2 lies in the awkward controls, jittery camera (not too bad in large rooms, but problematic in smaller ones), and overall generic gameplay that proves to be a fine test in how long you could fend off boredom.

Looking for a game with great sound? Look elsewhere. While the sound quality on Fighting Force 2 is admittedly crisp and clear for the most part, there’s very few bits of music to be found here and what’s there isn’t all that memorable. The only real positive I could give this game is in the graphics. Aside from some clipping issues, the game looks fairly good… by Playstation standards. By Dreamcast standards… it’s tolerable at best… Perhaps I’m being too critical. The models and environments are neatly rendered, but not much more than that.

It’s truly unfortunate that Eidos and Core dropped the ball in porting over this game over to the Dreamcast. It seems like they just copied-and-pasted a Playstation game onto a GD-ROM disc, did a couple minor touch-ups, and BOOM! Brand new game. Now, I understand a number of Dreamcast games that started off as Playstation games were like this, but it’s hard to believe that the quality was just THIS bad. It seems like whoever was working on this simply didn’t care about the final product.

Anyone who is looking for a good Dreamcast game should not be picking up Fighting Force 2. Anyone looking for a further fix of Fighting Force should just play the first game again. Anyone looking for a fun activity should just stare at the wall… yes, staring at a wall is MORE FUN than Fighting Force 2.

BREAKDOWN
Story: 2/10 (the story is unmemorable and dull – not much to it)
Graphics: 5/10 (the graphics are okay – slightly higher-resolution version of a Playstation game, but that’s about it)
Sound: 2/10 (little music, repetitive grunts and explosions, please make it stop)
Gameplay: 1/10 (touchy, awkward controls – boring gameplay – unstable camera)
Challenge: 2/10 (weapons all over the place make this a cinch to beat – if you want to)
Replay Value: 1/10 (just play the original Fighting Force instead)

OVERALL:1/10