Category: Written Reviews

COMIC REVIEW – The Kevin Nash Comic Book (1999)

Image Comics was hoodwinked into giving Kevin Nash a comic book…

Actually, let me take that back…

Image Comics was hoodwinked into not only giving Kevin Nash a comic book, but also allowing Nash himself to WRITE the comic itself and let him do whatever he want… you know, I never got around to reading the Ultimate Warrior’s comic book – I only know of it through reputation alone – but I would have to assume that giving a wrestler creative control over the direction of his comic book, especially if he had no prior experience in the field, would be a very bad idea… and sure enough, here comes NASH to prove that very point.

The deal is this; it’s the post-apocalyptic future where the rich are rich and everyone else is left to fend for themselves. The world is a wasteland of despair brought about by a corporate scumbag’s deadly virus so that he could control the remaining food on Earth… but among the homeless rubble and those without hope walks a man – a legend – named NASH. This is the story of his struggles against the very evil Cyrus Storm and his Citadel to bring back hope to a populace that desperately needs it. Now whether he eventually accomplishes that task is left up in the air, as Image cancelled the series after two issues.

Listen, I enjoyed the Chaos Comics output of WWF stuff. I wouldn’t call it high caliber material, but in terms of taking the WWF characters and telling interesting stories with them… I think they did an admirable job. On the other hand, though, you have Kevin Nash, post-apocalyptic warrior in the same vein as Mad Max, except he’s much more vulgar in his actions and is not afraid to get it on with whatever female specimen he comes across, even if they end up trying to kill him or be killed afterwards. Honestly, this reads like every post-apocalyptic story ever written relegated to low-budget direct-to-video releases and probably would have slid under the radar if not for the guy whose name is on the marquee.

There’s a reason this thing only lasted two issues. The story isn’t very good, the writing borderlines on amateur, and the art is pretty bad even by Image standards. People say Kevin Nash is a pretty smart guy, but stuff like this feels like a counterpoint to that claim. You could probably find the issues for dirt cheap if you really need this in your life, but there’s nothing here that you can’t find in any other dime-a-dozen Image Comic but done way better.

Oh, by the way, a kid’s head gets blown off. You don’t see it, but it’s implied.

Just in case you’re still on the fence.

Waste of time. Don’t bother.

MOVIE REVIEW – Highlander III: The Sorcerer (1994)

Highlander III: The Sorcerer, also known as Highlander: The Final Dimension, is less a sequel to the original Highlander film (ignoring the events of the sequel, which takes place in the future) and more of a remake of said film. The settings might be different, the players might not have the same names or likenesses, but if you were to compare some of the story beats between the two films, they’re both playing out of the same playbook. I suppose that, when it comes to make a further adventure of Immortal highlander Connor MacLeod, rehashing what came before is pretty much your safest bet and I don’t necessarily say that as a bad thing. Sometimes, a slight rehash of what came before can work and for what it’s worth, this approach makes Highlander III a far better sequel to the first film than the quirky cheesefest that is Highlander II.

Like I said, the players have been changed around. Instead of Brenda as the damsel of the first film – she’s been fridged via line of dialogue – we have MacLeod’s adopted son, who I can at least say is on the least offensive scale of child acting performances. There’s no Sean Connery for this go-around; the closest you have is Deborah Unger who plays both one of Connor’s love interests in a past life and the modern-day Sara Johnson who is interested in metals and takes a liking to our immortal Frenchman from the Scottish Highlands… and she’s more than fine. Mario Van Peeble’s Kane has a bit of posh camp to him that comes across as less imposing compared to past villains, but he puts on a fine show, indeed.

Despite my griping about this being a remake, Highlander III isn’t that bad of a movie and not quite as soulless as some made it out to be. The movie also seems to exist in its own universe; it obviously does tie in to said second movie, but also doesn’t make mention of anything related to the TV show, which was a thing around this time. I do enjoy the few sword fights that take place with some unique settings like the old brewery towards the end of the film. There’s little character moments like Connor going back to his old stomping grounds to fix his broken sword and of course, the obligatory sex scene that was apparently added in later in production. And the acting isn’t too bad, either. I say Kane is campier than Katana, but that ain’t necessarily a bad thing.

Highlander III has its moments and if you haven’t seen the first movie, you’ve got a fairly pedestrian low-budget film. I’m sure some Highlander fans were disappointed that the third film in the trilogy was just a remixed version of Highlander 1, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. If anything, it makes for a better sequel than the previous film.

MOVIE REVIEW – Highlander II: The Quickening (1991)

Highlander was a cult hit in 1986 and seemingly ended with no room open for a sequel… but in 1991, out came Highlander II: The Quickening, a film that would end up being somewhat reviled due to its controversial changes to the lore of the first film. It came such a running joke that the producers would eventually put together a “Renegade Edition” that some saw as damage control, but clearly the only to control this kind of damage would have been to not release the film in the first place.

On a personal note, Highlander II would actually be my first exposure to the franchise and… yeah, listen. Only having fleeting knowledge about the Highlander lore and then discovering that all these Immortal beings are actually aliens from another planet is kind of a hard pill to swallow. I could only imagine those who had seen and adored that first film would have felt at the sequel’s utter dissection of its predecessor’s lore. The later Renegade version would remove all references to planet Zeist or outer space, retooling these immortal beings as being sent from Earth’s distant past… a distant past of an unrecorded period where we had time travel technology and laser-based weaponry. Honestly, trying to fit this in within any context of Highlander lore is an exercise in futility and having this be ignored by other films and television series that would come along afterwards is probably for the best.

With all that having been said… I don’t dislike Highlander II as much as others do. As a part of the larger Highlander universe, it’s an odd piece of the puzzle that doesn’t quite fit… but taken as its own thing, this is one of those films that you know is pretty bad, but you can help but admire the absurdity of the whole thing. And I’d be lying if I said that there weren’t things to like about this film.

Christopher Lambert and Sean Connery reprise their roles from the previous film and pretty much continue where that relationship left off being Ramirez lost his head. Michael Ironside’s General Katana is pure ham and is absolutely beautiful. Not quite as imposing as the Kurgan, but the glee in the misery he brings is absolutely infectious. The few sword fights and action sequences are actually quite well done and I can almost admire the grander setpieces that the film attempts to depict, even if most of it takes place in perpetual darkness. And of course, there’s the bombastic orchestral soundtrack by the great Stewart Copeland, which sounds great even if it’s saddled with a largely bad movie that’s taken down by a largely terrible script that the cast tried as best as they could to make the most of what they were given.

If you’re going to watch Highlander II, get the Renegade Version. It changes a few plot details here and there, but also the editing is a bit tighter and some things are moved around here and there so that the whole thing simply make more sense. It’s still not a good movie and ultimately a completely superfluous entry in the Highlander legacy, but if you just want a bad movie to take the piss out of on a late night, you could do far worse than this.

MOVIE REVIEW – Highlander (1986)

1986 saw the release of Highlander, a film that not many people saw domestically but was a hit overseas and has since become something of a cult classic that has spawned several films and series that fail to live up to the standards that made the initial film great. And while it may seem rather dated by today’s standards (the 1980s-style soundtrack and special effects, as good as they are for the time, doesn’t help matters here), it does hold up rather well in terms of its story and action.

For the most part, I enjoyed the sword fights tremendously, with each battle becoming more intense as the stakes become higher. The non-linear aspect of the story – alternating between the present day and flashbacks of the past – was almost baffling, but never gets confusing and the two compliment each other rather well.

Highlander also offered an interesting view of immortality; its high points and its tragedies. Whereas we would always wish to be able to live forever, these immortals do live on, carrying the burden of watching friends and family die, as well as having to deal with being an outcast to the mortal world. It’s something that reflects greatly on Connor and something that is sadly lost in later entries.

Overall, Highlander is a perfect starting point (dare I say the only thing worth watching in the franchise) for those who are interesting in checking it out. If you can get past the eighties-ness of the whole deal, you’ll find a surprisingly deep and rather enjoyable film. Recommended.

COMIC REVIEW – Stone Cold Steve Austin (Chaos! Comics Miniseries)

In 1999, the World Wrestling Federation did a deal with publisher CHAOS! Comics to produce a bunch of comic book based on their various WWF Superstars. This included a Undertaker series that lasted several issues, along with a few one shots based on Mankind, Chyna, and The Rock. None of these comics have anything to do with wrestling, but rather take these characters on zany adventures outside their comfort zone. Undertaker fighting actual demons… Rock dealing with fixed fights… Chyna doing bodyguard work for other people… that sort of thing.

And then there was the Stone Cold Steve Austin miniseries… yes, a miniseries that lasted four issues… and once again, this has nothing to do with Austin delivering Stone Cold Stunners to other WWF Superstars or giving beer baths to Vince McMahon, but rather we’ve got Austin in the role of mysterious stranger coming into a Texas town owned by a less-than-honest Texas owner doing bad things. Your classic modern-day western of sorts… except instead of mysterious strange, you have Stone Cold Steve Austin, who has the ability to command a small crowd of townspeople fearing for their lives to give him a Hell Yeah whenever he calls for it. It’s simply amazing.

I mean… hell, when you think about it, the story itself is rather pedestrian and uninteresting. There’s a certain mystery surrounding someone who was run out of town, but that’s secondary to Austin beating up thugs and not selling a damn thing. They throw attack choppers and biker gangs his way and he blows through all of them. This would have been fine for a one-shot, but four issues is stretching it and there’s only so many ways you can depict Stone Cold opening various cans of whoop ass and stomping various mudholes through many asses before it gets a bit tiresome.

There’s a reference to The Corporation – the faction headed by Vince McMahon – but don’t expect any other WWF talent to actually show up in these books. I guess there was no artist on earth who would dare draw HHH and his big gonzo nose. Speaking of which, the art is alright. The action bits are well depicted, seeing Stunners on the drawn page look somewhat impactful, and the layouts are fairly clean by late-90s comic standards.

It’s not exactly a great comic by any means. The joke pretty much runs itself through the dirt about two issues and by the time you reach the end, it’s just… eh. That said, if you ever wanted a comic about Stone Cold Steve Austin being a total badass who’s nigh impervious to pain, then this is the book for you. They’re an amusing curiosity if nothing else, but not much more than that… which more than sums up the entirety of the WWF/CHAOS! Comics partnership if I’m being totally honest.

MOVIE REVIEW – Street Fighter II: The Animated Movie (1994)

For those who felt that the live-action Street Fighter movie was too much of a Van Damme movie and not enough of a proper Street Fighter movie, then perhaps Street Fighter II: The Animated Movie may be more to your liking.

When I first bought a VHS copy of this film, I bought it mainly for two reasons. It’s based on the popular video game of which I’ve played many times and I’ve always wanted to kick off my own collection of anime films… a goal that has fallen off the waysides as of late. I wasn’t expecting much – the Van Damme version wasn’t all that great of a film, although I’ll happily admit here that I do enjoy some of the cheese it provides… maybe I should’ve added that bit to the imdb review.

Turns out that the people behind the animated movie knew what they were doing and were more than willing to keep the movie faithful to the video game source it was based upon rather than try to craft their own narrative with all the players they were given. All sixteen fighters from Super Street Fighter II Turbo are represented – hell, they even snuck in a cameo by then-secret fighter Akuma as a background bit – and they’re all portrayed as close to as they should be. The fight sequences are also well-done and are a highlight of the film… as they should be in a movie called Street Fighter.

There were two localized versions of the film released: an unedited version (which is the version I saw) and a version edited for general audiences, which I assume mostly involves editing some choice words and some shots here and there. Neither version retains the few seconds of the Chun-Li Shower Scene where she bares all, which may disappoint all the perverts out there. But for the rest of you, Street Fighter II: The Animated Movie does the games justice and is just a solid film in its own right. Well worth the watch.

MOVIE REVIEW – Hitman Hart: Wrestling With Shadows (1998 Documentary)

I had seen this film back when it first aired on A&E channel a year or so back and when I saw the VHS tape available for sale and had the money for it, I snapped at the opportunity to pick this up.

What started as a simple documentary about wrestling became a compelling drama, which pits the hero Bret Hart against the manipulative Vince McMahon. What results of this confrontation is one of the biggest controversies in wrestling history. And you know something? That wasn’t in the script.

What’s wrong with this film? It features real people doing real things, real backstage politics, and yet there is something about this film that makes it so dramatic… so exciting that it seems like it’s scripted. But any wrestling insider will tell that it’s no work… no storyline concocted… this is very real.

There’s an additional bonus on the VHS version; an additional interview with Bret Hart and filmmaker Paul Jay reflecting on the film and the events that have transpired since the events of Montreal and the film’s subsequent release. It provides a nice bit of depth and despair to the existing story.

This isn’t exactly the greatest wrestling documentary ever made (although some people will disagree), but it is one of the few which holds nothing back except what happens behind the curtain. A good drama in my view.