WCW Monday Nitro (April 1st, 1996) – Certainly Feels Like April Fools

So the show begins with Giant and Sting going at it… apparently, they were supposed to team up against Harlem Heat, but Jimmy Hart paid the Heat to take a hike and now the two partners has a fight. Match lasts a couple minutes before Lex Luger comes in for the DQ finish and that’s it… April Fools, I guess.

The Steiners beat the Road Warriors and the Nasty Boys in a Triangle match (a.k.a. the Triple Threat or 3-way match – apparently, the first time in WCW) in a dubious finish that saw one of the Public Enemy guys knock out a Nasty Boy while the other Public Enemy guy dressed as a Nasty Boy plays dead so that one of the Steiners can pin him for the win and… yeah, stupid fuck finish aside, this was an entertaining enough piece of tag team business. Could have done without the dumb swap finish, but considering how many worse finishes I’ve seen over the years, I suppose it’s inoffensive enough… meh.

Bobby Heenan announces that he is retiring from WCW… only to stick around and say April Fools. In hindsight, maybe he’d had been better off leaving, but whatever. There’s a Hogan/Booty Man match against Kevin Sullivan and Arn Anderson that I refuse to watch… so I skip ahead to the main event where Ric Flair retains his WCW World title over Lex Luger via a schoolboy, hand full of tights, and BOTH feet on the ropes for extra leverage. I’m guessing that’s supposed to show off the lengths Flair has to go to cheat a win out of Luger, but that seems a tad excessive. Regardless, a fine main event to an otherwise meh show.

Well, okay, the 3-way tag was pretty good until the finish, so it’s not all bad.

There’s no Nitro next week, which means a free slot for something else to fill its space and we’re going to fill it with [REDACTED.]

WCW Monday Nitro (March 25th, 1996) – A Giant Cluster-MEH

Tonight, WCW World Champion Ric Flair (with Arn Anderson) defends his title against THE GIANT (with Kevin Sullivan)… but don’t get too excited, kids. This one ends in a schmozz where Arn Anderson hits Giant with a chair and Giant thinks Sullivan did it and he gets the guzzle. Giant would eventually win the title a month later, but in the meantime… well…

I’ll be honest; this Nitro didn’t do much for me. Macho Man got a win over Fit Finlay, Konnan retained his US title over the masked man known only as Mister JL, and Sting and Luger retained their tag titles over the AMERICAN MALES, but the matches were just kinda, sorta “meh.” Honestly, the Saturday Night show that they were hyping up – featuring a Finley/Bobby Eaton match – sounds more exciting than the Nitro show that was put up against RAW, which featured *checks notes* Shawn Michaels defeating Leif Cassidy, Hunter Hearst Helmsley defeating Aldo Montoya, and the main event of Ahmed Johnson and Owen Hart going to a double DQ finish.

Fucking riveting television.

Next.

WCW Monday Nitro (March 18th, 1996) – The Go-Home For Doomsday

For those keeping track of your WCW events calendar, this is indeed the go-home show for Uncensored ’96, a generally horrible PPV event featuring one of the worst ego-stroking main event cage matches in history: the Doomsday triple-decker cage match pitting the Mega Powers of Hulk Hogan and Macho Man Randy Savage against the Alliance To End Hulkamania, which comprises EIGHT or more VILE VILLAINS… or something.

Look, I did the write-up years ago on this thing. I have no desire whatsoever to watch it again. All you need to know is that Hogan goes over… because that works for him, brother.

In the meantime, we still have this show, which opens with Giant and Loch Ness battling out in the entryway while Lex Luger comes out for his scheduled TV title defense that is rendered a countout win because either Giant or Loch Ness never made it to the ring… shouldn’t the match be thrown out if that’s the case? Not that it’d matter because Luger would still call it the fastest title defense of his career. Hell, him NOT having a match would actually given credence to that since he’d have a title defense that lasted about zero seconds.

Steiner Bros. defeated Public Enemy in a pretty fun brawl that saw a table or two get broken… which is then followed by Arn Anderson jobbing to Brother Bruti or Booty Man or whatever the fuck he’s called this week… good lord, this gimmick sucks. The High Knee… as in heinie? Even Russo would gawk at that shit, guys. And then the Road Warriors defeat the Nasty Boys in another fun brawl before we get the main event of Hogan and Savage against Ric Flair and Kevin Sullivan, which ends with Brian Pillman running in and being followed by the return of ZEUS of No Holds Barred fames and some guy called the Final Solution, who turned out to be Jeep Swenson, who played Bane in that Batman & Robin movie that nobody liked apparently. And then the heels cut a promo to end the show.

Hey, the two tag matches not involving the Mega Powers were kinda fun and even Luger celebrating his non-title defense was kinda funny, but this Hulk Hogan jerk-off session to build towards the biggest BJ main event is dreadful and I hated every moment of it.

WCW Monday Nitro (March 11th, 1996) – Not Even Steiner Math Can Save This One

We open today’s edition of WCW Monday Nitro with the Giant NOT making short work of Hacksaw Jim Duggan… because he ain’t doing a job without getting his shit in, tough guy! Hey, at least now I know it’s not just a lack of wanting to put over that German kid Alex Wright in ’99; this was fairly consistent behavior for an otherwise swell guy.

Speaking of Alex Wright, he gets beat by Lex Luger in a thing that happened and Hulk Hogan and his band of merry idiots (the Macho Man and the BOOTY MAN… fucking shoot me) overcome the odds… but the most significant piece of business is the return of the STEINER BROTHERS to WCW, where they have a match with the Road Warriors that turns out to be quite a fun spectacle before Rick eats a spiked weapon from Animal and gets pinned by Hawk. Well, that was odd… but then again, maybe it’s odd now knowing which of these teams stuck around and which didn’t.

Yeah, so other than the one tag match, this Nitro didn’t do much for me… but then again, it’s hard to get excited for this show when we’re building towards one of the most worst WCW PPVs to ever be conceived by human hands: WCW Uncensored 1996.

You know… the one with the Doomsday Cage match.

If you don’t know, here’s a refresher.

Now you do.

Fuck.

WCW Monday Nitro (Feb. 26th, 1996) – Good Show, Crap Main Event

Opening match see Sting defeat Big Bubba (a.k.a. the former Big Bossman is he big, Ray Traylor) with a crossbody in a pretty fun opening match, which is followed by the Road Warriors challenging Sting and Lex Luger to defend their titles in a Chicago Street Fighter at the upcoming Uncensored PPV… which is in Tupelo, by the way… the farthest thing from “Chicago” as you can get. For those who have seen the Monday Night Wars DVD, this is where the clip of Eric Bischoff giving away RAW results is taken from. You’ll note that I don’t make mention of these happening all that often because I try to blank out on commentary… and part of that has to do with Mongo, who started off tolerable and sometimes even good, but had since degraded into unintelligible twat that it’s almost sad. It’s probably for the best that he eventually transitioned to wrestler in a couple months.

Lex Luger defeated THE RENEGADE via Torture Rack with an assist from Jimmy Hart, which causes Sting to come out and cry foul. The Renegade is no longer wearing any facepaint, but still maintains some Warrior mannerisms. It’s too bad the guy stuck with this Warrior rip-off gimmick and never bothered to remake his image because I’d imagine he would have had some modicum of success for being his own man rather than being a rip-off… maybe he wouldn’t have taken his own life as a result… yeah, I’m being grim here. Sorry.

Road Warriors defeated Harlem Heat to cement their status as challengers for the tag titles. Good match for what it was and this is followed by our main event, which features Hulk Hogan, Macho Man, and the BOOTY MAN (Ed Leslie’s 48,882,802th gimmick change after being Zodiac… his sudden turn from the Dungeon Of Doom being explained that he was actually a SPY for Hogan… so that whole thing with Starrcade ’94 and them fighting for the World title was a ruse? My brain hurts more than it deserves to be hurt – why are you stupid, Nitro?! WHY?!! Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah…) facing off against Ric Flair, Kevin Sullivan, and Arn Anderson – the last one being the recipient of a Hogan legdrop as the Huckster gets his win back, JACK!

The show ends with Hogan helping Liz put handcuffs on him so that he can get pummeled by Flair and friends. An absolutely wretched main event to close an otherwise serviceable Nitro.

So quick note before we close up: there’s no Nitro Musings next week because Nitro didn’t air next week, so we’ll be continuing two weeks later. However, Nitro musings will resume on Wednesdays rather than Thursdays for the simple reason that 1996 was a leap year (every fourth year, February has 29 calendar days) while 2026 is not. That way, we can continue the gimmick of “On This Day 30 Years Ago…” that these Nitro posts have adopted.

With that said, there is going to be something to fill the void, but you’ll have to wait and see…

WCW Monday Nitro (Feb.19th, 1996) – Shoe! SHOE!

The show opens with Hulk Hogan beating on Arn Anderson for a bit before run-ins galore, ref is distracted and sees Savage in the ring, and ends up DQ’ing Hogan, which gives Arn another win over Hogan. Wow, would you look at that?

Belfast Bruiser… took me a while to figure out that this was Fit Finlay because I almost didn’t recognize him with the messy long hair and ‘stache… anyway, he beats up on perennial journeyman Brad Armstrong and it’s perfectly acceptable fodder. Unfortunately, we’ve got another Loch Ness match, with Alex Wright being the sad recipient of a large dent. The show ends with Ric Flair retaining his WCW title over Macho Man thanks to another shoe because… sure, why not? That’s our only fucking finish these days.

This show was a bit of a slog and then it dawned on me. We’re on our way to Uncensored and the DOOMSDAY CAGE match. People are going to have to try and convince me that this show is still good while we’re building towards THAT pile of shit. Good luck.

WCW Monday Nitro (Feb. 12th, 1996) – Mrs. Borland’s Favorite Nitro

“Did you tell them my mother was weight-challenged?”
“No, I just told them what to write.”
Al Borland and Tim Taylor
Home Improvement Season 6 Episode 14
The Karate Kid Returns

Long story short – if you like weight-challenged wrestlers, this is the Nitro for you. Otherwise, see you next week.

Continue reading “WCW Monday Nitro (Feb. 12th, 1996) – Mrs. Borland’s Favorite Nitro”

WCW Monday Nitro (Feb. 5th, 1996) – A Breeze Monumental Moment

A bit of a historical record breaking moment.

Oh, I’m not talking about Nitro, although I will say that this is probably one of the better episodes I’ve seen in a while as far as general interest goes. But with this post, we have officially surpassed the NWA-TNA run from a couple years ago, when I dropped off after 21 weeks due to the debut of “OH SHIT! IT’S VINCE RUSSO!” and that’s when I decided, “Nope. Not for me.” Fortunately, Russo isn’t anywhere to be found here in 1996, but we are a couple months away from the end of the road when Scott Hall shows up and Nitro expands to two hours. I’m still on the fence as to how to proceed beyond that, but we’ll cross that bridge eventually.

Right now, let’s talk about this Nitro show…

Continue reading “WCW Monday Nitro (Feb. 5th, 1996) – A Breeze Monumental Moment”

WCW Monday Nitro (Jan. 29th, 1996) – The One With The Shoe

This is the show with the Ric Flair/Hulk Hogan match where Ric Flair beats Hogan with Elizabeth’s shoe. Yes, a bunch of run-ins and a really stupid finish took place, but let’s not bury the lede here: after four years across two promotions, Flair finally gets a rare win over the Hulkster. That’s pretty much the only thing worth mentioning on this show.

Well, the Road Warriors make their return and there’s some further squabbling between Kevin Sullivan and Brian Pillman also featured Arn Anderson, who left his glock at home and instead issues a challenge.

Not much to this one. Next.

WCW Monday Nitro (Jan. 22nd, 1996) – Macho Gets Another Shot

So let’s do the abbreviated notes. Macho Man defeats Ric Flair in a good opening match to win his second WCW World title, which leads to sportsman of the century Hulk Hogan congratulating the man and demanding his long-awaited shot… which Macho responds by saying that when he beats Hulk, then Hulk has to shake his hand… good luck with that one, Mach.

Brian Pillman defeated Dean Malenko via Malenko getting his foot caught in the ropes and Pillman taking advantage. I have no idea what that finish was and the match itself was just there. And then Sting and Lex Luger win the tag titles from Harlem Heat after Luger whacks Booker with some coinage for the cheap win. I suppose this makes up for the screwjob finish from last week or something. And then Hulk Hogan beats One Man Gang in a quick match before getting mauled by the Dungeon Of Doom and Horsemen before Macho Man comes out to help or something.

I will say that the Savage/Flair match was the best part of the show and the rest is skippable. Moving right along.