Category: RAW Bytes

So apparently people were throwing a hissy fit because Dwayne had notes on his wrist to memorize his lines. The shot above is supposed to be where you get a clear look at said notes.

Well, then… boo, I guess? Should I really care?

Gave Cena more ammunition, I suppose. The guy could use some of that right about now because the Rock is just massacring him on the promo side of things. And it’s doing something I didn’t think was possible; get me invested in a Rock Vs. Cena confrontation.

But hey… so long as CM Punk is still WWE Champion, I’m not complaining, right?

Yeah, might as well beef this up a bit more, because unlike a lot of people, I wasn’t too thrilled with this one.

Eve Torres? Yeah, hi. Try not to take this the wrong way, but I highly suggest you get some acting lessons because you don’t play the spoiled brat too well. Seriously, this is just sad. I like cheese, but when horrible acting gets so bad that it spoils the cheese, then I’m sorry, but there’s no way I can sit back, relax, and have a good time because my cheese is ruined and it’s a pretty expensive piece of cheese, let me tell you.

Even more saddening is that the whole “Cheating Eve” bit was a sad attempt to absolve John Cena of all wrong doing, because he’s the good guy who stuck around while Dwayne was doing movies. It wasn’t Johnny’s fault that Eve frenched him in front of Zack Ryder. Gee, I hope Mrs. John Cena wasn’t watching when this happened. Hey, kids! Do you know what adultery is? I sure do!

John Cena is mad that Dwayne is using WWE to get back on the people’s good side? Wow! Amazing promo! John Cena is there for everybody! Hooray! Because John Cena’s the good guy! Yay! Because John Cena would never take advantage of an up-and-coming superstar to further his own career and get back in the good graces of the audience! Nor did he ever leave WWE for a significant amount of time to make a movie! No, sir, he didn’t!

Oh wait… Zack Ryder says HI! And lest I can recall, Cena took two months off to film The Marine.

Hustle, Loyalty, and Respect? Let’s add another one to that paragraph; Bullshit.

So the cocktease to a surprise everyone saw coming is here; another HHH/Taker match at Mania 28, this time in Hell In A Cell. Oh yeah, great idea. Because we all remember the last time we had Hell In A Cell at Wrestlemania, don’t we? And that turned out absolutely Russoriffic!

I’m sure everyone is going to be praising this like the second coming, but you know what? Fuck it; I still don’t care about HHH/Taker. Nor do I quite frankly care about John Cena/Dwayne. What’s the fucking point? Why should I care about two part-timers who are going to pretty much fuck off after Mania? What’s the point of caring about a dream match that has given me no rhyme or reason to be invested? Especially when nothing is going to come of it. Dwayne is going to go back to doing fucking movies while John Cena is going to be his usual boring-as-shit self doing absolutely fuck all. I. DON’T. CARE.

Right now, the only matches that I seem to care about more than either of the two “main events” are the two World Title matches and even then, I admit that’s only on a rather marginal level. No doubt, CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho is going to be a pretty good match and Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan for the World Title is going to be vindication for these two after they were turfed from last year’s Mania and relegated to dark match duty. Unfortunately, the chances of either of these two championship matches being top of the card is slim to none because they’ll be overshadowed by the old-timers’ match and the dream match nobody cares about.

I didn’t think it was possible for a Wrestlemania to be LESS anticipated than last year’s anemic affair, but here we are.

Last night’s RAW was in that zone that teetered between boring and depressing. If this was the show that they were hoping to entice potential customers to purchase their upcoming pay-per-view this Sunday, then I can’t say it’s been effective.

– The opening debate among the various participants in the ultimately worthless Elimination Chamber match; strangely enough, a concept that could have been depressing was probably the show’s best segment. Sure, it felt a bit slow at times, but all six superstars got to say their piece and CM Punk got a nice dig on Jericho regarding Dancing With The Stars. Was it enough to sell the PPV in my eyes? Not really, but on the bright side, it gave people a chance to talk and it was something remotely different.

– What isn’t remotely different is the seemingly never-ending stupidity between John Cena and Kane and their seemingly endless attempts to “push” Zack Ryder by making him looking completely and utterly stupid, regardless of whether that was their intent. If this is suppose to make us care about Cena or Ryder, then it isn’t fucking working. And if this is suppose to rally support for Cena in his upcoming match with Dwayne, then it’s also not fucking working. Dwayne might not be around as much as anybody in WWE would like, but that’s probably a good thing because that means he won’t get stale and boring… which is exactly what John Cena or anybody else happens to be right now. Cena could actually benefit from a long absence and so would WWE, quite frankly.

– Also, Shawn Michaels shows up, goads HHH into accepting Taker’s challenge, and HHH once again refusing… also, Taker cuts his hair… or cuts hair from the wig he’s wearing… as enthralling as this might be, I have no desire to see another HHH/Taker match, especially since the last one was oh, so painful.

You’ll note that I never bring up any of the matches that take place. The matches are inconsequential in the long run and in all honesty, I never gave a damn about what was going on. A dangerous mindset for any viewer to possess as it will tune them out. Overall, I thought the show was below meh.

A couple quick thoughts on last night’s RAW

* First off, it was awfully nice of WWE to book a CM Punk vs. Daniel Bryan Danielson match. Would have been nice if the match had closed the show instead of HHH showing up and giving me a reason to go to bed early at the end. The match was really good stuff while it lasted, only for Chris Jericho to make his move and throw a damper on things. Punk/Jericho should be pretty interesting, to say the least… but this makes me more hungry for another go between Punk and Bryan.

* Mike Tyson into the WWE Hall Of Fame… well, it’s better than Drew Carey, that much I’ll tell you.

* Oh, boy. Another HHH/Taker match at Wrestlemania… BOOORRRIIINNNNGGGGG…. And speaking of which, apparently Johnny Ace is still gonna be around. LAME.

Not really much to say, but the show was alright. I stayed awake, at least.

Do us all a favor and stop showing up close-ups of the crowd. Every time someone shows up on screen, they look bored and want to be somewhere… ANYWHERE… else. It’s really distracting and it takes away from a product that is incredibly diluted from Johnny Laryngitis’ monotone performances… let’s be honest; no matter how entertaining CM Punk’s promo work happens to be, it’ll always be cancelled out by Ace’s muted and dull personality. Perhaps I’m missing something here, but whatever.

So Kane wants John Cena to embrace hate… presumably planting seeds to a heel turn that is never going to happen. Really, I have absolutely no faith in WWE pulling off a Cena heel turn. Never mind the fact that the company would fear such a turn costing them revenue – a Cena turn is something that is supposed to be a big deal and considering WWE’s history with big deals in recent years, I’m pretty sure they’ll do something incredible stupid to ruin that turn’s potential, if any. Such a turn wouldn’t work anyway because if he displayed one iota of villainy, the people booing him would actually cheer him on… because ANY shift in Cena’s character would automatically make him a better character than what he’s portraying now.

It seems particularly telling that when WWE starts milking the whole anti-Cena wave by releasing a T-Shirt, the crowd gives them the proverbial “fuck you” by not reacting to any of this crap going on. You could barely make out the dueling Cena chants at the end and when they pan to the crowd, the good majority of the people are doing fuck all. It seems pretty obvious now that WWE has no idea on how to tap into that sentiment in a way that would benefit them AND produce great product for the viewing audience; something that the old WWF was particularly skilled at with their storylines.

Don’t care about the Slammy Awards… but a couple noteworthy moments on last night’s RAW.

– Jim Ross attempting to rap is pretty funny… too bad he didn’t go by this one.

– CM Punk with the Johnny Ace mannequin is also pretty funny; video was a nice “touch”… if only they could have pulled Shane Douglas out of mothballs somehow, we’d have a Dynamic Dudes reunion. I don’t know anybody who doesn’t want that to happen! MAKE IT HAPPEN.*

– Somehow Masked Kane looks even uglier than Unmasked Kane. Kinda like the Vader-like helmet mask, though. Hope he keeps that around.

That’s all I got.

*Nobody cares about the Dynamic Dudes.

Another surprisingly decent RAW despite still being in the Johnny Ace era. Some quick bullet-points:

– Show opens with a Piper’s Pit segment, where Roddy slaps John Cena in an attempt to cull out some anger from Cena over fans’ reaction. Pretty interesting if they go anywhere with it, but it will most likely be forgotten in a couple weeks and Cena will continue to smile at losing matches. On the other hand, it’s always cool to see Roddy Piper… as long as he’s cutting promos and not wrestling matches.

– So let me get this straight; John Morrison can survive a limo explosion without a scratch, but is unable to fend off against the Miz? I would understand if it were the “When The Fuck Am I Debuting” Brodus Clay (the fat NXT guy) doing the deed, but Miz?

– Another decent Orton/Ziggler match… let’s have Ziggler drop the U.S. title to Zack Ryder or whoever so that he can move on to bigger and better things. Maybe a WWE Title shot… or even a World Title reign that lasts more than ten minutes.

– Nice promo work from Daniel Bryan Danielson to hype up tonight’s steel cage match for the World Title. Nice touch with the leg kick too.

– Solid TV main event between Punk and Del Rio. Happy to see that Punk has managed to retain his title and not have to drop it back to the cartoon.

That’s all I got… decent show.

Managed to watch last night’s RAW and I have to admit that the show is far better than it has been in recent weeks. If anything, the wrestling is certainly a notch above what they’ve been doing… but then again, if there were two guys you could put together and get a top-notch wrestling match, it’d be CM Punk and Dolph Ziggler. I’m certainly happy that Punk is getting another go-around with the strap (even if he doesn’t get around to dumping the piece of shit and bringing a new title belt in) and Dolph Ziggler is certainly earning my interest every time he works a match. Here’s hoping he gets a shot at main event status somewhere down the line because I have a feeling that they haven’t even scratched the surface of Ziggler’s potential.

As far as the other couple matches on there, Zack Ryder continues to lose matches (but I’d be lying if I said he wasn’t entertaining in his losses), the Barrett/Kingston match was alright, and the Cody/Santino squash was nothing to write home about. If there was one thing I must compliment the booking on, it’s that all the finishes were clean here. Nice to see the creative team pull the reigns on nonsensical stunt bookings and just let the wrestlers tell the story.

Low points? Well, Johnny Ace is a bore, Johnny Cena is a whore, and no more Awesome Truth… because Truth got suspended… oops.

Overall, a stark improvement over previous weeks worth of RAW. Well done.

On October 10th, 2010 – often branded as 10-10-10 – TNA held their annual Bound For Glory PPV and ended it with the heel turn of Jeff Hardy, who also won the TNA World Title and replaced the original title with a shittier version of the Divas belt. What does this have to do with tonight’s edition of Monday Night RAW? Absolutely nothing, but I bring this up because there seems to be some unwritten rule where any wrestling show held on October 10th has to have something stupid happen on it.

Case in point… this so-called walkout… which has to be one of the stupidest depictions of a walk-out that I’ve seen.

First off, for anyone wondering… yes, there was a Smackdown show in its usual Friday night timeslot. And yes, there was a roster to work the show… because the logic was that they were walking out on RAW only due to the so-called “unsafe working environment” that HHH’s leadership has caused… even though HHH is the COO of the ENTIRE FUCKING COMPANY and not just MONDAY NIGHT RAW. God damn, even when they’re trying to mock the idea of a walk out, they can’t even do it properly.

And then we get to this fucking RAW show… which, despite everyone walking out on Triple H including wrestlers, divas, staff, and crew… we somehow have a set build and the arena prepped for another episode of RAW, we still have cameramen filming the backstage area, we have a couple guys standing around… and we have production people nice enough to play HHH’s music while he comes out. Fucking idiots walk out and we have to suffer from another sleep-inducing HHH promo… teases a match with a broomstick… sure, pal. Considering you just vilified and buried the entire roster, I’m all too (no) confident you’ll put the broomstick over.

Bottom line of this mess; HHH is outed and Johnny Ace is interim GM… the rest of the show blanked out for me and I went back to bed. Lame, predictable, baffling… meh.

Eventually, I got around to catching the rest of RAW via later replay and… Jesus Christ, who the fuck booked this crap? Jim Ross is once again fired – no surprise there – Miz and Truth are rehired and have a PPV match against HHH and CM Punk, who are now apparently buddies – thus ensuring Punk WON’T be getting his win back… AND we have Cena/Del Rio for the title at Vengeance. Wow, I have to get that PPV!

This show blew chunks. It’s absolutely ridiculous… just when you thought things were starting to look up, they manage to fuck it all up AGAIN. Nice going, WWE. You actually managed to make the build-up to the potentially shitty Sting/Hogan match at Bound For Glory LOOK GOOD in comparison! Are you serious, bro?

Why don’t I watch Smackdown more often? It has to be better than this shit on Mondays, right? Right?

…but all I did was go to bed, much later than I probably should have… but you know what? I couldn’t help it. I needed to see this ending that people were talking about… and yes, that’ll be the first thing we discuss, but…

Yeah, so RAW… caught the midnight replay, stuck with it until the end, and… goddamn, the cure for insomnia has been found… again.

– I guess I could start with the ending… it took a lot of willpower to not fall asleep during this one. It somewhat reminded me of an angle in 2000 where the Rock threatened to walk out on the McMahon-Helmsley regime with the entire WWF roster in tow, except that angle was more entertaining and didn’t put me to sleep… not to mention it happened at the start of the show and not the end… oh and it didn’t take five minutes for people to walk out. Holy crap, this almost put me to sleep. It’s bad enough that it’s a HHH-centric promo, which means there’s a good chance my insomnia’s getting kicked to the curb; but it seemed to drag on for SO GODDAMN LONG that I had a hard time staying awake. The wrestlers walk out, the refs walk out, the interchangeable Barbie dolls walk out, Cole walks out, the cameramen walk out, and so on and so forth. I’m surprised the midgets living under the ring didn’t walk out at the same time. For fuck’s sake.

– Speaking of a hard time to stay awake, what was up with that 12-man tag-team match? Too long, nothing really happened in this match, there was really no point to this… it almost felt like they had nothing for these guys to do and decided “Hey! Let’s stick them in a tag-match together! We’re geniuses!” Maybe it’s late and I need to give this another viewing in the morning, but at the moment, I felt like this was putting me to sleep at times. The only good thing I could say is that everyone seemed to have their moment and Cena didn’t score the win, so there’s that.

Not much else to say. Santino’s back from that car accident and did his schtick. People seemed to like it, I guess. I’m just glad to see that he’s doing fine now.