Category: Wrestling Television Musings

A couple of points on tonight’s RAW despite it not being over:

– Carlito actually brings up his first win over Cena from ages ago. Oh my God! Actual continuity is being respected here? Did we get a new creative team and I didn’t know about it? Holy crap! But of course, Cena has to reference the period to other things. For example, that was back when Britney Spears actually looked hot or Linsay Whatsherface had her first line or something. Hmmm… maybe I should add to that list. After all, that was back when Cena had a personality and knew a wrestling move or two that actually looked threatening. Fortunately, Carlito vindicates himself by beating Cena and spits an apple at him. Match was pretty watchable by Cena standards.

– Mr. Kennedy swats Bobby Lashley in the shoulder and wins. Well, no complaints here. Lashley may be a generic musclehead but unlike some muscleheads, he can sell the shoulder injury as a weakness and not as an afterthought. So my respect level for him is up somewhat.

– Umaga kills the Italian guy again. Next.

– Randy Orton kills Sgt. Slaughter… everybody acts like it’s a big deal, except people tend to forget that Orton already kicked Slaughter’s ass a couple years back. So I guess it’s the same writing team with selective continuity memory after all. Okay, I get it.

– The battle of the kings. Lawler wins via cheap DQ. I still don’t understand the point of this feud. Booker doesn’t like Lawler calling himself king and they fight, but nothing’s resolved and next week they’ll both be called king. Was there any kingship on the line? Someone clarify this for me because I’m confused.

– Triple H is coming back at Summerslam. Another case of “Who gives a shit?” Of course, he’s going to come back. He always comes back. He could have twenty bulletholes in his fucking skull and he’ll still come back to do his generic punch-kick offense with occasional knee strike and underhook piledriver. Why bother advertising his return when it’s inevitable and obvious that he’s coming back? Only the most oblivious and dumbest person around (read: anyone working for WWE*) would not know Triple H will eventually return after a hellacious injury. Fuck, even my old college buddy who doesn’t watch wrestling knows old Trips is coming back. So what’s the point?

All in all, a fairly decent show despite my gripes. Nothing noteworthy happened, but that’s okay.

*may not be anyone working for WWE

Some quick thoughts:

– No John Cena on the show; he was talking about steroids with Larry King. However, they managed to sneak in a taped interview. Boo.

– However, we could not get rid of Black Lesnar. The video promo he has just exposes his inability to cut decent promos or even look remotely intense.

– I love the commercial breaks where they cater to WWE events in Canada: “Hey, folks! This month’s Canadian Tour of WWE Live events have been postponed to a later date and the live appearance by Deuce and Domino at a shopping mall has been cancelled, but HEY! CHeck out the Great American Bash on PPV!” Idiots.

– Triple H is coming back. Who cares?

Actually, you know what? The show didn’t do much for me. I was paying more attention to my Doom game than I was the RAW show. Oh well.

After a depressing and tragic week that I hope you can all put behind us (I know I can), we return to our regularly scheduled Monday Night RAW program… and boy was it average. Doesn’t sound like high praise, but compared to what the show’s been shitting out lately, average is high praise enough. Some quick highlights from the show:

Continue reading “RAW (July 2nd, 2007) – Average RAW This Week? Now Dat’s Cool.”

Last night’s RAW showing wasn’t all that bad. The exploding limo business has been done to death already and we don’t need to see it anymore.

Some quick points:

– So you have the (fake) private investigator interrogating various superstars. Decent filler, but not much more.

– The Divas tag-team match was actually watchable. Mind you, it’s nowhere near as good or even average, but it was watchably bad as opposed to “RUN THE FUCK AWAY” bad. Shows that there’s actually some improvement in the wrestling from the women’s side of the fence. Hope this talent doesn’t get pissed on.

– Oh goody, it’s a main-event featuring three of my favorite (sarcasm) wrestlers. In actuality, the match wasn’t so bad, but it certainly didn’t keep my interest for too long.

– The Stephanie promo at the end of the show? Totally useless. Outside of the announcement of yet another three-hour RAW next week, there’s nothing interesting about her promo. Only notable thing was that this deep (fake) display of emotion was pissed on by the audience, showing how effective the exploding limo really is.

All in all, not a bad show, but not a good one either. Eh, it works.

Later.

So last Sunday night, I saw the series finale of the Sopranos. Wasn’t so much a show that fit the bill of series finales (loud, climatic). In fact, it felt pretty much like any other episode and it works. The ending is perhaps the best ending ever conceived (despite people thinking otherwise) because it’s different. It doesn’t give you an ending per se and perhaps that’s a good thing.

Apparently Vince saw the finale and felt the people needed a worthy ending. So they filmed his “death” involving an exploding limo. God, do we have to play this death card again? What if they decide to bring back Mr. McMahon again? Man, who cares really? In three months time, they’ll bring him back and say he suffered some minor burns and lost his best two-piece suit. And if they decide that’s what they’ll do, they don’t even have to cook up a graphic. I got one for them right up there.

What a stupid ending. What a piece of fucking god-damn shit.

*drinks rolling rock*

Continue reading “RAW (June 11th, 2007) – This Draft Blows… Just Like Vince’s Limo.”

Didn’t catch the One Night Stand show… from most peoples’ reaction and the results of that show, it’s probably a good thing, but let’s forget that and talk some RAW.

Yesterday was an utterly pointless show. I mean, it wasn’t a really “bad” show or anything. It was just pointless. I don’t get the idea behind it.  Let’s see some highlights:

– Cade and Murdoch beat the Hardys with a swerve tactic to win the tag belts. It wasn’t a great match by any stretch, but why wasn’t this on a PPV when it could have meant more?

– Next week is going to be a draft. That show is going to be three hours long, so you know it must be something that it’ll really shake things up… not really. The last time we had a draft; Kurt Angle left for TNA while RVD was busted for smoking pot.

– Randy Orton continues his killing spree of giving “legends” concussions. Well… it’s a step up from his RESTHOLD thing he likes to do often.

That’s about it. You noticed I didn’t mention John Worthless. Well, I did say highlights, didn’t I?

Later.

Seems to me that I’m doing these RAW bites on a regular basis, so I’ve decided to make it a regular topic called RAW Bytes. I’ll hunt down the older entries and add them to the list. Anyway, let’s get to the show.

Why am I watching a music video on a wrestling show? Outside of showing the Most Worthless Women On Television, what contribution is made to the show in general? What is the point of this stupid music video anyway? Why should I give a shit about some rapper, even if he is a recognizable name?

I mean, what’s with this obsession of getting rappers into wrestling? Most often, they contribute nothing but low ratings and forgettable music. Also, their videos suck balls most of the time. So what?

Outside of that, it’s not a truly offensive show from what I’ve seen. The Cena/Khali segment is fairly dull but too short to be truly hideous. The Lashley matches are short and sweet too. It’s a fairly average show with no outstandingly good stuff, but it’s miles better than last week’s pile of crap RAW show.

Good enough for me.

One of the better shows put out, RAW saw an hour-long bout between ol’ Shawn and “Useless” John Cena. I’ve enjoyed the match much more than their Mania encounter and was surprised that it would last as long as it did. See, this is the match they should have had at Mania with the right guy winning. The only thing that would have made the win sweeter if it was a title bout and if it featured someone other than John Useless, but you can’t have everything.

All in all, the show, while filled with useless time-wasters not named Cena, was better because of that one single match. Maybe if useless lugs like Orton were sent home more often, we’d have quality products such as this.

Last night’s episode was okayish. Certainly an improvement over last week’s piece of dogshit episode. A couple of noteworthy points:

– Shane McMahon winning the ECW World title would have made my night if it had happened last night. Instead, they went the cheap route and gave a DQ and a beatdown instead to pimp a silly 3-on-1 title match. I still don’t care enough about Lashley (and there isn’t a whole lot of people who do either – despite the meager chants that are popping up here and there) and his overcoming two McMahons and a monkey penis isn’t going to change my mind. At least the match was mildly entertaining, although it was a given Shane did all the work.

– So the next main event for Backlash is a four-man title match booked by a Make A Wish kid. If a Make A Wish kid was general manager on every single episode of RAW, the show would be doing better ratings than it is now.

All in all, a slightly better show than last week. Nothing great, but can’t complain really.