Oh lookie, another WWE PPV I completely forgot about.
But it’s not my fault. I blame Discovery. Hey, did you know this new starship has spinning saucers? It further lends credence to my theory that this was intended to be a pizza cutter or something, but I digress.
Won’t be long with this one. In fact, I’ve so little to say about this show that didn’t interest me in the slightest that it changed the way I watch PPVs from this point forward.
Full disclosure: I did not watch No Mercy live on the WWE Network… because Star Trek: Discovery just debuted and new Star Trek will always take top priority over a B-level WWE show. Saving my thoughts for another time, but I thought it was a good start. There were some bits I didn’t care for, but there was enough for me to like that I’d be willing to give this show a follow and that’s as far as I’ll go.
In any event, I watched this over the span of two days; this packed B-show with two high-caliber matches that will end up be pretty disappointing no doubt… let’s get on with it.
Another year, another Summerslam, another marathon of shit.
As per the case with these things, I don’t watch the pre-show. But apparently, Neville won back the Cruiserweight title he lost on Monday and the Usos won back the Smackdown tag titles they lost to the New Day last month or so. Also, Shawn Michaels found a new job dressing up as some old guy. Other than that, nothing of note happened.
So, let’s begin, shall we?
Where were you on the night of July 23rd, where the 2017 edition of WWE’s Battleground PPV took place?
I’ll tell you where I was… not watching the show. Instead, I was on a road trip to Terrebonne on a nice Sunday aftertoon enjoying the outdoors and spent the evening doing some cleaning and eventually settling down to play a rubbish fighting game on the Xbox for the purpose of gaining future review material. It would only be until later that night that I even remembered that there was a WWE PPV going on that night.
Maybe this wrestling stuff isn’t for me anymore… or maybe I need to look elsewhere… but that’s perhaps a discussion for another time.
So that’s the haphazard reasoning behind the lateness of this musings. Fortunately, this being posted on the WWE Network, I can watch the show at my leisure… and instantly regret doing so. Seriously, there is so many other shows on the On Demand side of things I would rather be watching, but because there’s some sense of “duty” that people seem to think I have, I might as well share my musings on this show…
I will be completely honest with you. I almost forgot about this PPV… because the better part of Sunday was spent at the Montreal Comicon that weekend… my first Con of any kind, actually. A rather surreal experience, but something I wouldn’t mind doing next year when the time came and I got a bunch of good swag that I’ll save for a later time.
But back to WWE’s most recent PPV outing, Great Balls Of Fire.
In the grand tradition of ridiculous PPV names such as Fatal Four-Way, Beware of Dog, and Taboo Tuesday, we have Great Balls Of Fire. Yes, the same as that Jerry Lee Lewis song that everybody knows about. Unfortunately, WWE and Jerry Lee’s lawyer has a bit of a legal spat over copyright infringement, but fortunately, cooler heads prevailed and WWE not only got to keep the name, but they even got the song. Sometimes, I wonder how WWE would’ve coped if they were forced to change the name… maybe give the PPV a better name, but alas, I tell a lie; nothing about this makes me wonder about any of this stuff.
Anyway, despite getting the rights to the song and even going so far as to have a 1950s motif with the graphics and all that, the set itself is the typical lazy WWE arena set-up that we’ve seen a bazillion times before. Seriously, guys, if you’re going to give your PPV a stupid name, you might as well dress the set up to fit the theme or come up with a better name, you lazy hacks.
But let’s get to the PPV.
WWE Money In The Bank 2017 put me to sleep. I’ve said this often in somewhat exaggerated fashion in the past, but this time, there is no hyper hyperbole at work here. This show literally put me to sleep watching it live that I ended up missing the ladder match except for the tail end of it. I’m watching again early morning and this has the same potency as a Triple H promo in terms of curing insomnia. Not even the strong coffee with the high caffeine is getting shit in gear.
Anyway, on with the show… try to stick around for a bit.
Yep, so it’s that night of the year where WWE supposedly goes extreme, but really, the only thing extreme about this show was the massive migraine I suffered after watching it. Said migraine may or may not have anything to do with this show, but more than likely not.
Extreme Rules is slowly becoming the modern day WWE equivalent of the old WCW Uncensored PPV, where it’s supposed to be a night that’s unsanctioned and outside the boundaries of good taste, but is really just an excuse to have a bunch of goofy gimmick matches on the card that couldn’t be deemed worthy of turning into their own individual PPV. And that’s certainly the case here.
Here’s a fun drinking game for you folks in honor of Rip Rogers’ Twitter diatribe; every time someone takes a …………………………….dive, take a shot. Have fun.
It’s the PPV main event nobody allegedly wanted, but we got anyway… or something.
Anyway, not much to really say here. WWE is pushing someone new into the main event title picture and it’s someone that not a whole lot of people care for. However, it’s a new face in the main event title picture, so at least they’re TRYING to push someone new, even if it’s not the most popular choice. Nonetheless, Backlash has come and gone and… well…
Confession time: I only saw this a day or two ago because I was at a reception with family and friends this past Sunday. So I kept myself from watching any semblance of Smackdown.
Let’s blow through this quickly.
The first show after Wrestlemania used to be just as much of an event as the Showcase of the Immortals itself, especially after a somewhat poor showing. Sometimes, it would be Mania Rematches that surpassed the original, while at other times, it would just be a solid show all around. Back in the day, it was easy to get excited for that follow-up show because they were generally intriguing cards on the build-up.
Wrestlemania 32 may have had a forgettable main event, but the follow-up PPV gave us an awesome one in AJ Styles vs. Roman Reigns. Austin vs. Rock at Mania 15 was fun, but their match at the following month’s PPV was even better.
This year’s Payback PPV – a RAW-only PPV no less – features nothing that has me remotely excited outside of a Kevin Owens/Chris Jericho rematch whose endgame seems set in stone… and to call my reaction “excited” is kinda stretching it. This show was so up there in the “must-see” that I spent my Sunday evening playing Roadsters on N64 (poorly, at that) and selling an air conditioner online that it wasn’t until the tail end of the evening that I realized there was a PPV going on.
In any event, I PVRed a Monday replay and made a note to watch it for the purposes of this write-up. My thoughts on this show will be as brief as my relative interest in this show… and consider the “go-home” shows drew the lowest ratings EVAR, I can’t say that I’m alone in my general apathy of this show.
Originally, I was going to go for a Poop Emoji as the banner to signify what this PPV represented, but I couldn’t find a decent looking one that isn’t three pixels big, so we’ll settle for the stock bored kitty. In any event… WWE POOP, er, I mean Fastlane!
dtm666 