Tim White was a moderately successful WWF referee who had officiated some classic bouts (on both ends of the stick) until a shoulder injury ended his career while officiating a Triple H match. Mr. White shortly retired after, but the match had caused him so much turmoil that his entire family left him and turned their backs on him. Now alone with only the Friendly Tap bar as his drinking buddy, poor Mr. White has had enough.
One day, on a WWE PPV during an interview with Josh Matthews, Mr. White pulled out a shotgun and attempted to shoot himself, but he dropped the gun and shot his toe instead.
Some time later, Mr. White tried digesting rat poison, but the brand had proven to be ineffective against humans (hence the reason it’s called rat poison) and so Mr. White survived.
Mr. White tried to hang himself, but fortunately the rope broke. Mr. White even miraculously survived an attempt to die via dropping a plugged toaster into a bathtub that he was in.
Recently, Mr. White went for the old fashioned method of killing one’s self: slitting his own wrist. Despite the gruesome depiction shown on WWE.com, we have the utmost confidence that Mr. White will survive this latest brush with death and cornball sports-entertainment angles that don’t entertain that well… which explains why they’re ONLY on WWE.com.
You just CAN’T make this shit up, folks.
The sad and most disconcerting thing about all this is that eight-nine years ago, during the Attitude era of sex, drugs, and generic rock music, Vince once said there’d be no guns and knives – even shirts bearing this credo were sold at the time. Somehow, I seem to be the only one who remembers that little quip.
dtm666 