Category: Wrestling Musings

According to this article, Jeff Hardy was arrested for trafficking perscription drugs and possessing anabolic steroids. As a result, WWE is not going to be producing that Jeff Hardy DVD that I never knew about.

Hardy apparently left WWE back in August to do other stuff. My guess is being arrested wasn’t high on the list. Hey, the guy made his decisions and could have gone clean, but some people don’t have the will to get it done and most of his colleagues are none the wiser to clean up either.

All we could do now is wait for Matt to cut another scathing rant about how the Internet knows nothing and blows everything out of proportion… even though Jeff’s mugshot will probably grace the Smoking Gun website by the time that gets done.

From rajah.com:

As noted last week during TNA Wrestling’s important announcement to wrestling fans in Colorado feeling burned by WWE canceling shows, president Dixie Carter made a formal invitation to the Denver Nuggets players and staff to attend this Friday’s TNA live event in Pueblo, Colorado. Unfortunately, they will not be able to attend the event as a result of their win over the Los Angeles Lakers last night at the Pepsi Center. They evened the series and have Game 6 scheduled for Friday night at home.

Apparently, someone else didn’t think the Nuggets were gonna make it this far. Oh well.

So the past two weeks saw TNA and WWE have PPVs and I missed both shows… probably because I forgot about them. However, looking back at the recaps of these shows yielded some rather questionable reactions on my part.

On the Backlash show, there were four championship matches, including the John Cena Spinner Belt being defended in a six-man tag-match while John Cena himself defends the Big Gold Belt against Edge. The other two matches has ECW Champion Jack Swagger defend against Christian Cage and Intercontinental champion Santino Marella defending against Beth Phoenix, who is attempting to pull off a Chyna.

Three out of the four titles mentioned changed hands. The one champion who left the event champion… is Santino Marella. Go fucking figure.

Meanwhile, over at the TNA camp, the Lockdown PPV event – the one where every match took place in a cage because fuck you, that’s why – featured the main event that saw Mick Foley – the man who supposedly wanted to retire with dignity back in 2000 – defeated The Man Called Sting to win the TNA World title… in 2009.

My brain hurts.

So according to TMZ.com, WWE has sent a cease-and-desist letter to Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake, telling him to stop using the name they own. Beefcake is currently featured on Hulk Hogan’s Celebrity Championship Wrestling show, where a bunch of celebrities learn to wrestle and subsequently forget to do so when their time on the show is done… at least that’s my thought.

Anyway, the golden middle-aged guy who saved wrestling Eric Bischoff posted a comment on his blog, which reveals more about this situation than the TMZ story says. I don’t want to say what he says because I actually want you to read the post… so here it is. Read it and come back.

Now I can’t agree with Uncle Eric about the quality of the show… mostly because I haven’t seen it and most probably won’t unless I move to the states… which isn’t fucking happening, but I will agree on the notion that Vince hates to do new things. That must be why I haven’t seen him do anything new.

While I’m not the biggest fan of past-their-time celebrities wrestling each other in fake matches, it’s at least a different concept and I’m sure the show has its audience. Hopefully it does well and it sticks around for a while.

(2019 Update: What the fuck are you drinking, 2008 Dave? By the way, the winner of the competition was Dennis Rodman, because of course it was.)

So apparently Cena has yet to swap the Big Gold Belt for his usual spinner garbage. I give it about a couple weeks before that happens.

Regarding the tournament… why call it an Intercontinental Championship tournament when the top prize is a shot at the champion himself rather than the title? Who names these things and why are they allowed to live?

So they’re bringing back the Slammy awards… wow, that’s so random.

The McMahon kids… ugh. Please go away… PLEASE GO AWAY! BRING BACK MIKE ADAMLE! At least he was inoffensive… for a time… but definitely more tolerable than the kids…

That’s it for now.

In what is undoubtedly the worst kept secret in wrestling (well… at least until the next worst kept secret in wrestling rolls around), former WWE World champion Chris Jericho returns to RAW, sporting shorter hair and a spiffy new entrance. Yeah, they’ll push his return like a big deal for a short while, but then it won’t be long before they have him fighting over Triple H’s dog.

On the flip side, though, is this something you’d want to do with a guy like Chris Jericho? He’s a big name in and out of the ring, he has his own band, he has some mainstream appeal… do you really want to kill that to sate the minds and egos of the little men.

According to this article and the proceeding video (which you can check out here), Jake “The Snake” has gone bonkers after sipping a few drinks or twenty. Normally, I’d say that this is mildly funny and amusing, but after watching that vid, I almost find it sad that he’d turn out this way… maybe he should quit while he’s still… um, yeah.

And you know what the funny thing is? Apparently, this is the same guy who had posted a very detailed analysis of last week’s RAW on his MySpace blog. It absolutely boggles the mind on how he could have gone from fine-tuned commentaries on the net to hanging your dick out at a benefit wrestling event.

Just go away, Jake. As a favor to all of us and as a favor to yourself. You’ve done everything you could have ever done in the business, now it’s time to step aside before you become even more of a joke and embarrassment. We already have a joke of the industry walking God’s green Earth: his name is Hulk Hogan.

Sometime last year, Ric Flair started a financing company. A year later, said company is now out of business and the site now has contact information for anyone who wants to book Ric. Yeah, that’s a bit of a fair trade. “Hey, kids. Ric Flair Finance is out of business, but to make for it, you can book Ric Flair to be on your show and then receive a note from WWE preventing Ric from appearing.”

Still, it’s always sad to see a venture go down the crapper. And I would have thought Ric would have done fairly well in financing. Oh well.

There appears to be at least one disgruntled wrestler within TNA according to rajah.com. A TNA wrestler currently in the midst of a push made the following remark to Dave Meltzer of the Wrestling Observer Newsletter: “Impact sucks so much I don’t even watch myself on television anymore.”

Well, we can say for sure that anonymous TNA wrestler isn’t totally bashing the company. After all, he only says that Impact suck and not necessarily the entire promotion or any of its storylines. Although to be honest, I’m not entirely surprised if the guy really feels that way about TNA.

On the bright side, CM Punk is still your World Heavyweight Champion… so there, some good news today.

Haven’t bashed WWE in a while now, so let’s have some fun.

Tonight is the second Million Dollar contest, where a bunch of random fans will be eligible to win thousands of dollars (with one lucky fan possibly winning two dollars – yes, I’m serious). I don’t know about you, but I had such a good time watching the Million Dollar mayhem (sarcasm, of course – although LOL at Vince being rick rolled) that I immediately switched to an older Ring of Honor show that was airing on the Fight Network.

Yeah, Vince. I’m really looking forward to tonight’s publicity stunt as well as your ongoing quest to devote as little time and money as possible to the contract wrestlers that risk their lives to keep you in business.

Top notch, man!

So I am currently working to restore the 2003 Bite commentaries to the archive and I came across this tidbit from the January 15th, 2003 edition of the Bite.

I’ve purchased the March 2003 issue of Pro Wrestling Illustrated. One particular piece in it is called Talkin’ Trash. Supposedly, they take the ten most talked-about things in wrestling and sum up their gut reaction. For the first time ever, I’ll put three of those topics here and follow it up with my own brief comment.

VINCE MCMAHON MENTIONS POSSIBILITY OF BRINGING BACK ECW
PWI states: Yeah, that’s exactly what we need, a third half-assed brand under the WWE banner.
Dave Says: If Vince McMahon mentions a possibility of bringing back ECW, there’s an even better possibility he’s full of shit. Remember all that talk about bringing back WCW in June 2001 before the Invasion crap?

Five years later and what do we have? A half-assed brand under the WWE banner that happens to bare the ECW initials but has nothing to do with the original ECW product, thus not bringing back anything and proving that Vince was indeed full of shit.

Bow, puny fools. Bow before me… and PWI.

(2024 Update: To be fair, the fact that ECW turned out to be less of a revival of the “original” ECW and more of a reskinned bottom-tier WWE show shouldn’t have been much of a surprise to anyone with even a quarter-functioning brain who has followed WWE on and off air for ages. Neither the Apter mags nor the Meltzer rags were required to make this prediction in the first place.)