Category: Wrestling Musings

All posts related to pro rasslin’ that isn’t covering specific shows or events.

Wrestlemania 27 Picks (and results… CENA LOST?! YES!!)

Quick and simple notes, thoughts, and picks for Wrestlemania 27… let’s not waste time.


United States Championship
Sheamus (c) vs. Daniel Bryan

You know? Sheamus won the title a couple weeks ago… and I doubt they’d be in any hurry to have him drop the belt back to Bryan. Even so, this should be a good match in a series of them should they move forward with such a series on the house show circuit. And certainly, Daniel Bryan has a better chance of pulling a good match out of Sheamus than HHH ever did.

Pick: Sheamus
Winner: THIS MATCH NEVER HAPPENED ON PPV! GODDAMMIT!

Kane, Big Show, Santino Marella, Vladimir Kozlov Coffee Kingston VS. The Corre (a.k.a. Da OLD Nexus)

A eight-man affair? Sign me up. For the most part, this could very well be a decent little time-waster. And while part of me is saddened that Nash won’t be part of the match – there’s a bit of intrigue on the potential of OLD Diesel and NEW Diesel on the same team – it still has potential to be an entertaining affair… as long as Big Show “Falcon Punches” everyone in the ring. But that’s not going to happen, so I say the Corre picks up the win.

Pick: The Corre
Winner: Big Show’s team. Match was too short for anything to happen. (0-1)

Rey Mysterio VS. Dashing Cody Rhodes

Rey Mysterio is winding down, it seems. And from what I’ve seen of Dashing Cody Rhodes, he has the stuff to do big things in the future. For all intents and purposes, the Dashing One should win here.

Pick: Rhodes
Winner: Rhodes (1-1)

Snooki and two other people who don’t matter VS. Four Other People Who Don’t Matter

Some people might have an issue with celebrity involvement in a wrestling match. I’ve no such issues – past instances such as Mr. T’s involvement in the main event of the original ‘Mania as well as the much-hyped Lawrence Taylor-Bam Bam Bigelow have produced memorable moments and with a more lax frame of mind are thoroughly enjoyable and entertaining. The issue I have is with Snooki – I don’t give a rat’s ass about Snooki. My only hope in this match is that she gets knocked out and the real professionals in this match will do the actual work. But, seriously, we all know who’s winning here. And it ain’t Hog Splash.

Pick: Snooki wins. Everybody else loses.
Pick: Snooki wins… piss break for me. (2-1)

Randy Orton Vs. CM Punk

Another match that could end up really being good if given enough time. In all honesty, these two going at it on their own without the baggage of the ultimately ineffective Nexus (NEW or OLD – It Doesn’t Matter) will make for an interesting match. I am particularly pleased that during the build to this match, Punk brought up the beating he received from Legacy a couple years back that cost him the World Title, so there’s a sense of history behind the battle and not just two guys being stuck together for the sake of it. Despite Punk’s fake legit reasoning behind his RKOnslaught and despite Punk being my guy, I gotta go with Orton on this one…

Pick: Randy Orton
Winner: Randy Orton. Match was alright, actually. (3-1)

Michael Cole (w/ Jack Swagger) Vs. Jerry Lawler
Special Referee: Stone Cold Steve Austin

The end result is going to be obvious; Lawler wins. However, while the end result might be a tad obvious, what cannot be denied is that the promo work and build-up in the past few weeks have been nothing short of excellent and I am actually looking forward to a match that would otherwise serve as a quick piss break. Some people have compared Lawler’s feud with Cole to be similar to that of his feud with the late Andy Kaufman (who deserves a spot in WWE’s HOF… moreso than Drew Carey) and it’s not hard to see the parallels – although I have yet to see Cole compete in matches against women… er, excuse me, Divas and crown himself Intergender Champion. In any case, I’d like Cole to get a pounding so that he’ll be off the mic for a good long while.

Pick: Lawler
Winner: Cole. Lawler originally won via submission until the RAW GM DQ’ed Lawler due to interference from Stone Cold. The match itself was boring and a bit of a letdown. (3-2)

No Holds Barred
Triple H vs. Undertaker

Taker wins. Any exposition regarding this match is a waste of time. And the fact that their previous Wrestlemania encounter a decade ago is getting the same treatment as Chris Benoit these days does very little to make me care about what happens here. Okay, I’m stretching it a bit. I wouldn’t have cared either way.

Pick: Taker
Winner: Taker (4-2)

World Heavyweight Championship Match
Edge (c) vs. Alberto Del Rio

Del Rio wins.

Pick: Del Rio wins.
Winner: Edge retains… am rather surprised that this would be the opening match, but whatever. It was okay. (4-3)

WWE Championship
Miz (c) vs. John Cena

Cena wins.

Pick: Cena wins.
Winner: Miz retains after Rock Rock-Bottoms Cena… wait, CENA LOST?! CENA LOST?!!

YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! 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Miz retains… (4-4)

The show, as a whole, wasn’t all that great… but Cena lost, so I’m happy. And at the very least, the main event lasted longer than TNA’s last fucking PPV.

Later.

Piper Books Rock Vs. Cena

“I did shoot an idea to WWE.
I said put John Cena & The Rock
in Piper’s Pit at WrestleMania XVII.
Because I knew he wouldn’t wrestle
but everybody would wanna see him.
They should use people
who have given to the business
– like The Rock, like myself –
who are powerful enough to entertain.
Instead of just putting in Snooki.”
 
From the Twitter of Roddy Piper
By the way, on a sidenote… isn’t it funny that Piper is talking about booking a segment between John Cena and the Rock and yet not one PEEP was made regarding the Miz… you know? YOUR reigning and defending WWE heavyweight champion of the World who just so happens to be defending the title against… JOHN CENA?
This Wrestlemania main event is going to suck, isn’t it?

Jeff Hardy

(2024 Update: Look, I wanted to have a nice looking banner for this thing, but since this is about one of Jeff Hardy’s lowest low points that made air, the only “nice” thing this deserves a recycled shot of Jeff Hardy’s atrocious TNA World title redesign. Believe me; if the thought occurred to do a banner at the time, it’d be far less pleasant.)

At Victory Road 2011, Jeff Hardy showed up stoned for work and caused the main event match between Sting and himself to be reduced to a 88 second squash match. The PPV ends with the Impact Zone audience chanting “BULLSHIT” and Sting, the reigning TNA World Heavyweight Champion, agreeing with them. I recently had a chance to rewatch the main event in question and it’s almost chilling to see an audience who usually cheers for just about anything that TNA will throw at them, piss on their product with great passion and anger… and even more so for the company’s top guy to agree with their assessment.

I did a video log a couple days ago, wondering what the mindset was in letting the match go ahead as it did and wondering how anyone in their right mind would legitimately believe that this was the absolute best way to end a PPV that people paid money for. Even days later, I’m at a loss to rationalise this as something beneficial and even TNA themselves couldn’t find a way to rationalise this thought process, which explains their offer to give those who bought the PPV six months free access to their OnDemand service, which was a rather nice gesture and something that took balls for them to admit that they delivered a less-than-stellar product.

However, the fact that TNA allowed Jeff Hardy to perform when he was in no condition to do so and to allow the PPV, which had been, in my opinion at least, a respectable PPV of varying quality up to that point, to end on such a sour note speaks volumes of the incompetence and ineptitude of the management that runs this company. And the really sad thing is that the warning signs of something like this happening were in sight for a long time. Jeff Hardy may be a hell of a performer when he’s in top form and the guy may have legions of fans, but it’s also no secret that the guy has heavy drug issues, reliability issues, and is also face drug trafficking charges that could seriously hinder what little he has left of a reputation.

There was a good reason why all of his three reigns as WWE World Champion lasted less than a month (with one reign barely lasting a minute) and there was also a good reason why WWE eventually let him go. And while it might have been due to Hardy taking the time to heal injuries, I think it would have been a matter of time before Hardy struck out with WWE’s Wellness Policy (he had already suffered two strikes) due to his substance abuse problems that have been well documented. He certainly would have been fired when he got busted on account of drug trafficking shortly after his “farewell” and stuck legal battles and court cases that are ongoing to this day.

TNA signed a guy who was convicted of drug trafficking and has drug issues, which often translate into reliability issues that could jeopardize the safety of those he works with in the ring as well as jeopardize the promoted show. And on top of that, TNA eventually made said convicted drug trafficker and addict their World Champion despite all the common sense in the world saying that this is a bad idea. And the thing is that there had been a couple occasions prior to the Victory Road debacle where Jeff Hardy had been unfit to work. Most notably at TNA’s Final Resolution PPV, where Hardy was reportedly “more offbeat than usual.” Hardy defenders had told people that this was due to travel fatigue, but I doubt that’s the only reason. I’d like to see the apologists try and spin this one because there’s NO way travel fatigue could be responsible for the main event people paid for at Victory Road.

And the truly sad thing is TNA will come out of this not having learned a damned thing. Oh, they issue a little offer to make up for their blunder to those who bought the PPV and I have applauded that move in a previous post (the only TNA post on this blog that ISN’T marked with the Total Nonstop Morons label) because it’s not often that a televised wrestling promotion would admit they gave paying customers a product that was below standards, but anyone who believes that  the company has learned from this experience is being foolish. The first chance they get, they’ll eventually bring Jeff Hardy back and push him harder than ever before, giving him another World title run despite (or perhaps in spite of) what happened this night.

I truly hope that this isn’t the case and that TNA will actually use this as a wake-up call to make changes to their product, perhaps to something that might distinguish them from what has come before and something that might appeal to a wider audience and garner their product better ratings and buys… but my hopes aren’t high.