Category: Wrestling Musings

All posts related to pro rasslin’ that isn’t covering specific shows or events.

These WWE PPV Posters Suck

You know… I don’t want to do the whole “shit on WWE” thing here. I’d much rather be talking about other stuff that’s happier and shit… but why do these posters suck?

I mean, it’s just the four champions smiling and looking goofy with extra photo philtering shit. The whole thing looks awful from an artistic or layout standpoint. What is this supposed to convey? How is this supposed to get me excited for a bunch of idiots running through Titan Tower to grab a briefcase on the roof?

Oh, you didn’t know?

This year’s MiTB matches will feature jabronis running through WWE World Headquarters and making their way to the roof to grab a briefcase for a future title shot… which means they’re trashing the joint… this on a week where they needlessly fired a bunch of people.

Hey, it’ll be something different at least… and perhaps an excuse to have one of those “cinematic” matches that are all the rage. Quite frankly, though, I’ll probably watch something else that night… presumably a show that doesn’t have a shitty poster to promote it.

WWE Grants The Revival Immediate Releases

Source: https://www.wwe.com/article/scott-dawson-dash-wilder-the-revival-released

So, after two years of requesting and harruphing for their releases, Scott Wilder and Dash Dawson of the Revival were finally granted their immediate release from WWE. Good for them and best of luck in all their future endeavors.

I guess we’ll see them on AEW next week.

Oh wait…

FOX To Offer Empty Arena Mania On PPV For $59.99!

Source: https://www.f4wonline.com/wwe-news/fox-offer-wrestlemania-ppv-non-exclusively-more-wwefs1-content-307751

So WWE and FOX have signed a deal where FOX will be able to charge folks sixty bucks to watch a taped “Wrestlemania” eminating in various empty arenas. This deal also includes over 20 hours of additional content that you can already check out on the WWE Network for far, far less.

Yeah, this has bad idea written all over it. Bad enough people were questioning the idea when Mania was going to be the usual Mania offering, but doing it under this climate and in this format… which has been a bad idea since day one? I am not entirely optimistic about this going over so well.

That Bandwagon Is Heavy

It’s another controversy at Saudi Arabia… what happened this time? Another international incident? More propaganda gone wrong? Too much female skin was exposed?

No, the controversy is that 527-year-old Bill Goldberg made his return to WWE and beat Bray Wyatt for the WWE Blue Belt… apparently, people are upset by this, so much so that they’ve threatened to cancel their WWE Network subscriptions.
Cool story, bro.
This is WWE’s Seniors Tour, where Undertaker shows up at a gauntlet match as the last entrant and wins the match without ever taking off his hat and coat. This is where Miz and John Morrison are once again tag-team champions. This is where the old guys will have the most spotlight because they’re the bigger stars and everyone else on the roster are a bunch of geeks who look like idiots in comparison.

I read the results for the show and I’m laughing my ass off at all the fake outrage. People upset by Brock Lesnar squashing Ricochet or Undertaker winning a thing at the last minute or Goldberg beating the Fiend? Why? I find out all these things and I shrug; none of these things surprise me. Ricochet is a geek that was disposed of as such, Undertaker/AJ might be a match at Mania and this could be the first step towards that, and Goldberg winning the title gives us Take 376,275,371,879 of the Roman Reigns coronation as the “main guy” at Wrestlemania because THIS TIME FOR SURE!

I’m not upset by this turn of events, I’m not going to cancel the Network as a result of this turn of events, and I’m certainly not going to join the latest trending bandwagon on Twitter to post some fake outrage just so I can get a bunch of likes. This is why I don’t take Twitter seriously, because more often than not, the outrage is genuine; it’s just a bunch of dipshits parroting the popular opinion for them likes and then they move on to the next fake controversy while all the genuine issues get overlooked because I’m twitting on the twitter like a fucking twit.

Bray Wyatt will be fine, kids. Sure, he lost the belt to an old guy. So what? Sooner or later, you’ll forget this happen and he’ll be back to his usual red light district self in no time. He doesn’t need the title for that sort of thing.

They want to build up Wrestlemania as a big deal and so they bring back all the old stars who were big stars because nobody gives a shit about their current ones. It’s a harsh reality that a WWE fan who has been watching this company for years on end needs to come to terms with because it’s going to be a thing for a good long while. The current main event scene that populates your weekly programming are talented individuals who are saddled with horrendous material that presents them more as geeks than big time stars. It’s been like this for years and it will continue to be like this. And on the one chance they fluke on a good idea, it’s only a matter of time before they ruin that too.

It’s largely why I kept away from modern WWE programming; it’s too easy to be cynical about their storytelling and presentation. It’s quite telling that we’re about to roll into March and I’ve yet to watch the Royal Rumble in its entirety. Hell, it’s perhaps even more telling that I’m not really all that excited for Wrestlemania. If anything, I’m more hyped for the next AEW PPV – whose top programs comprise largely former WWE guys – than I am this year’s Wrestlemania; a scenario that I didn’t think was fathomable.

In any event, that’s over and done with. I’m sure WWE will find a way to give this latest Mania card something worth looking forward to… but I gotta be honest. I don’t like their chances.

Maybe what this show needs is more Shane McMahon…

Never mind.

Fired Up The WWE Network For The First Time In Weeks

Much to my personal astonishment, I have not spent much time on the WWE Network as of late. The last item that was on my watchlist was a WCW All Nighter special uploaded as a hidden gem, which was basically a five-hour long look back at the top matches of the various Clash Of The Champions network specials.

Also, much to my personal astonishment, I did not have to sign in to WWE Network, which had been case every time I’d load up the app on my Apple TV. So there was that.

So I made a point to sit down and watch this year’s Royal Rumble, which I’ve heard was alright for the most part… however, my mind strayed and I ended up watching an old WWF Pay-Per-View event called “The Wrestling Classic.”

At the end of it all, I almost regret not watching the Rumble like I planned.

AEW Revolution Tickets Sell Out In An Hour. Dead By National Dog Poop Day.

Source: https://www.f4wonline.com/aew-news/aew-revolution-sells-out-under-hour-300006

So the next big Ey-Eee-Dub Pay-Per-View is in February and tickets have sold out in under an hour. Nice to know that the product is still hot enough that they can sell out PPVs. Unfortunately, it took an hour to sell out and not fifteen minutes, so this promotion will be dead by National Dog Poop Day or whatever made up holiday comes out of Twitter’s ass.

CM Punk Outdraws HHH Backstage

Source: https://www.f4wonline.com/wwe-news/wwe-backstage-ratings-decline-no-cm-punk-appearance-298356

Last week, WWE Backstage with CM Punk on most of the show drew 180,000 viewers.

This week, the show had no Punk, but it did feature TRIPLE H.

Only 121,000 viewers tuned in to see McSon-In-Law. Oops.

I guess more people cared about Punk’s return than another HHH promo… though, to be fair, I’d imagine more people would be interested in Kana’s RICE COOKAH YAY! than anything HHH has to say.