Category: Star Trek Musings

I’m looking at the front page of the TrekWeb website and what notable news stories am I reading today? Fan production New Voyages changing its name to Phase II, after the aborted Trek series that eventually became The Motion Picture. An interview for one of the writers of Operation: Beta Shield, another fan film. Alumni Trek actors talking about past days.

Has the franchise gotten to a point where it’s considered news when somebody pisses the words Star Trek on a field of snow? Maybe I should try that right now. Get ready for that to make headline news.

Disclaimer: I didn’t actually go out and piss the words Star Trek out in a field of snow. If I’m going to be doing any pissing, it’ll be in a toilet within the comforts of my nice, warm home. Thanks.

For the past couple of weeks, Montreal was hit with a couple of snowstorms and we’ve amassed a total of about 80 centimeters worth thus far. Last year, we didn’t even have one millimeter’s worth of snow until early-January.

I’d like to find the people who wished for a White Christmas and shoot them with my Zapper, since I have no other use for it these days.

On the flip side, it seems like the bad weather has presented me with an epiphany. One that spells boycott.

Yes, folks. I’ve seen the light and after reading the latest article reporting that a certain actor still hasn’t been signed on, I feel I should make my true feelings heard.

How dare they leave out Greg Grumberg! Abrams is NOTHING without this man! I will boycott this movie until Grumberg is in the movie even as a worthless cameo of when Kirk is watching an episode of Alias or Felicity on his new Starfleet TV. Bring back Grumberg – he IS Abrams’ career!

Oh… you were thinking of Shatner? Fuck him.

The following letter is not an open letter, but the approximation of what would be written in an open letter to Mr. Shatner should I feel compelled to do so. It does however reflect my own opinion of the whole Shatner/Star Trek XI affair.

Dear Mr. Shatner,

Word has it that you will not be in the new Star Trek movie and that you have decided to let people know about it, expressing your opinion about how it is a foolish move not to have you in it. I suppose in your mind it’s not fair, considering your old buddy Leonard Nimoy was convinced to return to acting to play the role of “Old Spock” in said movie developed by that guy who did Felicity, Alias, Lost, and some other fine shows. I suppose in your mind, it could be unjust that since you were involved in the “second” birth of Star Trek (I don’t see Jeffrey Hunter rising from the grave complaining about how HE’S not digitally recreated for the new movie since he was involved in the “first” birth of Star Trek) you should involved in the rebirth. Fortunately, Mr. Shatner, I have some soothing words to calm your nerves.

Please shut the fuck up. Pretty please.

So you’re not in the new movie. Big deal. You apparently never made a big deal of not appearing in the Next Generation show despite your best friend Leonard Nimoy appearing in two episodes. You didn’t complain about not being featured in Deep Space Nine (even though you were featured in stock footage) or Voyager. And the last time I checked, you were holding out on a possible cameo for the last Trek venture, Enterprise. And now all of a sudden, you want to be featured in Trek again.

Fuck you, Shatner.

Do yourself a favor, Billy. Just forget about showing up in Star Trek XI. It’s not going to happen and all your moaning and bitching is doing more to make you look like an egotistical asshole than it is to get you into the movie. All this bullshit you’re spewing isn’t making me feel sorry for you – it makes me nauseous. If anything, it makes me feel sorry for all the other fools who buy into your shameful bitching. I mean, I don’t see George Takei complaining about not being involved in the new Trek… he had his share with New Voyages. Same goes for Walter Koenig… and Nichelle Nichols whose name I probably misspelled and for that I apologize in advance if I did, madam. Regardless, they’re not complaining about not being in the movie. In fact, they support the movie and the actors who are playing the roles they once held. Why can’t you?

Just forget about Star Trek. Just stick with your horseback ridings. Stick with Boston Legal. Stick with writing crappy Starfleet Academy novels. Just forget the movie. If you’re lucky and you’re alive when casting for Star Trek 24: The Voyage To The Home comes around, I’m sure they’ll give you a call.

In your own immortal words, Bill… GET A LIFE! FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, IT’S JUST A MOVIE!

Thanks for listening. Good night.

Sincerely yours,
DTM

Apparently the campaign to get Shatner on Abrams’ Trek flick continue as the former “Kirk” is whoring himself out in an attempt to get someone to convince Abrams to stick the Shat in there. And… the talks over at Trekweb are amusing as hell, with the Shat-fans saying that Nimoy betrayed his best friend or some other bullshit…

Doesn’t Shatner already have a TV show he’s doing right now? Shouldn’t he just stick with that? His days as Kirk are long gone and no amount of makeup or toupees is going to bring him back to form just for a useless cameo. Would it be cool to see Kirk back in action? Sure… when a younger guy plays him. If Shatner doesn’t fit into the equation, there should be no reason why he ought to.

Maybe it’s because I was born in the eighties when Trek movies were starting to come out, so I don’t have the same time of love for Kirk. Yes, I do believe he defined Trek. He’s a cultural icon that Shatner has molded into his own. That much cannot be taken away. However, the man is way past his prime as far as that role goes and it’s time for the mantle to be assumed by someone else.

Would it be nice to see Shatner in a Trek movie?

Sure… as the Enterprise chef.

I find it absolutely amazing that a couple years after Enterprise is canceled, co-creator and writer Brannon Braga is still getting flak from Trekkies over the direction of the series and some of his episodes.

Now Braga admits that he has regretted somethings that have come to pass, but that doesn’t change anything. And you know what? He’s right. Regardless of whether he regrets something or not, it doesn’t mean a damn thing. It doesn’t change a damn thing.

So do me and everyone else a huge favor and give it a rest, guys. Enterprise is dead and buried. It is not coming back. The guy’s moved on to other projects and so has everybody else. Leave him alone.

Good lord, can’t we be happy that somebody else is working on a new Star Trek movie? I, for one, am looking forward to someone else’s take on someone else’s property.

Now fetch me my tea… Earl Grey… hot.

Contrary to an earlier blog post, you didn’t need SIX actors to portray Spock back in the 1980s. Instead, you needed NINE.

1. Leonard Nimoy – the original Spock

2. Launched Photon Torpedo – dead Spock

3. Photon Torpedo Tube – rotting Spock’s casket

4. Carl Steven – Spock at age 7

5. Vardia Potenza – Preteen Sexmate Spock at age 13

6. Stephen Manley – Teenage Spock at age 17

7. Joe W. Davis – Vulcan-Rage Spock at age 25

8. Director Nimoy – Nimoy-Spock hybrid

9. Baby – Baby Spock in Star Trek V flashback

(2019 Update: I guess you can add Ethan Peck to the list, who plays Spock in Star Trek: Discovery.)

So yeah, that’s a lot of people/things/stupidities to play one Vulcan. Wonder how many actors Tuvok has:

1. Tim Russ – Tuvok

2. A shitload of stunt doubles.

Okay, so what about the Vulcan chick on Enterprise? Well, see Tuvok but swap Tim Russ for that other chick. What was her name again? Jolene something or other… forgive me, I’m terrible with names.

(2025 Update: It’s Jolene Blalock… or just Jolene nowadays.)

So yeah, Vulcans are hard for one person to handle…

Or maybe it’s just me.

Good night.

A recent posting on Trekweb has revealed from the mouth of William Shatner that Leonard Nimoy might be in the next Trek movie, but not the Shat. Fanboys are protesting because Shatner might not be in it and they’ll boycott the movie unless Shatner’s in it.

To all the fanboys who want them to bring back Shatner and are having a pissy fit over it, here is some sage advice once given by your hero:

GET A LIFE, will you people?!! I mean, for crying out loud, it’s just a freakin’ movie! I mean, look at you, look at the way you’re dressed! You’ve turned an enjoyable little job, that I did as a lark for a few years, into a COLOSSAL WASTE OF TIME! HEY, YOU GUYS ARE… THE LAMEST BUNCH… I’VE NEVER SEEN…

Some people will never know better.

Here’s a really cool thing I came across (and don’t remember if I had mentioned this before, but won’t be bothered to check): former Trek wonderboy Wil Wheaton reviews classic episodes of his old show, Star Trek: The Next Generation. They’re pretty good reads and offer decent insights into the shows from a guy who’s been there.

(2019 Update: The link to the site is long dead. However, Wil Wheaton did compiled the few reviews from that old site and turned it into a book called Memories Of The Future. Check it out; it’s a pretty good read.)