Category: Star Trek Musings

It is January 31st of the year 2026… and we’re celebrating the one year anniversary of my first declaration that I have NOT watched the Star Trek: Section 31 streaming video motion picture film starring Academy Award Winner Michelle Yeoh. The fact that I managed a full year without watching that film should be a godsend… or is it god’s end?

Fuck you, RedLetterMedia for playing that clip during your re:view, which remains the only extensive exposure to Section 31 that I’ve had up to this point… and yes, I continue to not watch the movie. I suspect that sooner or later, the disk will show up on my doorstep and I’ll have to give it a watch.

Not because it’s my duty or anything, fuck no.

But rather I need to watch this thing once before I can use the disc as a drink coaster… maybe it’ll work out better than Fighting Force 2 did all those years ago.

In 1976, Heineken commissioned a new print advertisement that depicted the character of Spock (a.k.a. Mr. Spock from Star Trek) with droopy ears that become erect after taking a sip of Heineken beer. You look at that for what it is and you figure “Hey, hey. Funny!”

Leonard Nimoy would sue the company for unauthorized use of his likeness. It was one of a number of sticking points that almost kept him from wanting to reprise the role in later Star Trek productions… well, aside from the whole typecasting thing that also proved to be a bit of a detriment for the career.

I don’t know when this advert first hit the scene, but this year marks its 50th anniversary. Whether that’s a cause for celebration or just some random piece of business.

I bring this up because Strange New Worlds is closing up shop; we’re due for a fourth season and eventually a fifth and final season – cut down to six episodes – will follow. Given that every year features some sort of “comedy” episode at the expense of Spock, I’m surprised that we’ve not reached a point where Spock is inflicted with some condition that causes his ears to go all droopy and the only way to cure the condition is by – you guessed it – drinking a Heineken.

It is the 31st of December of the year 2025 – otherwise known as New Year’s Eve – and I find myself astounded that I STILL have NOT watched the Star Trek: Section 31 streaming video motion picture film starring Academy Award Winner Michelle Yeoh.

Despite a two-month Paramount+ subscription period… I never found myself watching the film. Instead, I watched the completed run of Strange New Worlds instead… the third season that is a considerable step above the second’s swinging and shit. I haven’t gotten a disc copy for either my birthday OR as a Christmas gift. The threat of Section 31 no doubt looms in the distance, but we’re still… able to keep this thing going.

In any event, tomorrow is the Winners And Losers Of 2025 and I’ll give you a bit of a spoiler: Section 31 is the top Loser of the year… this despite the fact that I haven’t seen the bloody thing yet.

But when has that stopped me before?

Anyway, enjoy your New Year’s eve, everyone.

For those who haven’t gotten the memo, apparently Skydance – the new management at Paramount – has decided to move on from the long-dormant Kelvin timeline of Star Trek films (the 2009 JJ Abrams movie, Into Darkness, and Beyond) and opt for a fresh take on the franchise. Well, that’s mighty big of them to admit it after years of teasing pitches that went nowhere and tapping directors who’d stay in the lobby for a bit before moving on to greener pastures elsewhere.

I mean, was I hoping for another Chris Pine-helmed Trek movie with that cast? Actually, you know what? I kinda was. I make no qualms about admitting that I liked those movies. They were perfectly fine films for what they were – and yes, even Star Trek Into Darkness has its moments despite being the weakest of the bunch. I mean… shame that Beyond didn’t make the box office numbers the folks in charge wanted, but that’s on them for trying to turn Star Trek into something it wasn’t rather than try to make it, you know, Star Trek… something that even Chris Pine suggested; lower budgets, stronger stories.

When Star Wars became a hit and Paramount decreed that Star Trek would be a motion picture, they didn’t make another Star Wars with Star Trek colors. They made a very cerebral film with pastel shades and some Star Trek terminology… and then they made The Wrath Of Khan, a Star Trek movie that people actually liked unless your name is Gene Roddenberry, who was probably upset that nobody used his JFK time travel plot as a movie idea. The problem these days isn’t that you couldn’t make that type of movie or television series work today. It’s that nobody is willing to try… at least, not within Star Trek.

Could you make a Star Trek movie work in 2026? Sure, you can. It involves making a Star Trek movie that’s true to its core tenants and also features a compelling stories with compelling characters. Something it’s done in the past and can do again. It just requires people who are capable of crafting such stories.

So yeah, a part of me is sad that we’re not getting another Kelvin Trek because I’d very much like to see where that universe goes from there… but on the other hand, now that we’ve definitively closed the book on this thing, we can all move on with our lives and look forward to the next big thing in Trek lore… whiny fans whining about why those hacks at Paramount aren’t making their Legacy show or some bullshit like that, I don’t know.

Later.

It is October 31st of the year 2025… and it’s time for the semi-monthly declaration that I have NOT watched the Section 31 streaming video motion picture film starring Academy Award Winner Michelle Yeoh… because a buddy of mine who occasionally offers gag gifts for my birthday – which would have been the perfect time to strike with a disc copy of said movie – opted instead to give me a DVD set of the original TMNT cartoon.

If he had sent Section 31, you would probably be reading my thoughts on said film. But he didn’t. So you’re not. And so the tradition continues… such as it is.

In the meantime, however, if the current Trek television product isn’t getting you excited, might I suggest you redirect your forward sensors towards IDW’s comic output? They recently put out the first issue of their new series, Star Trek: The Last Starship, and it’s actually quite the hard sell for its overall concept that has me genuinely excited for new Trek. Also worthy of mention is their Red Shirts miniseries, which has been tremendous fun.

Maybe some day, I’ll give these further shine – and maybe talk up more of that Khan show, which I need to catch up on – but it goes to show that you don’t necessarily need Star Trek on screen to find good quality stories. As long as there’s enough quality material to dive into, I am more than content in putting off… what were we talking about again?

For the record, I have yet to open that TMNT DVD set… I’m almost afraid to revisit it.