Category: Written Commentaries

Written commentaries. Unrelated to The Bite Commentary series or the Classic Bite Commentaries series.

My Wii Wii Has Shrunk… Or Something…

With the recent announcement that Nintendo is going to be phasing out the more worthless Wii online services at the tail end of June, it seems like the writing is on the wall before support for Nintendo’s miracle machine goes the way of the original Xbox. So… since the eventually will come when Nintendo will drop all support for the console sooner or later to focus their efforts on the Wii U, which apparently isn’t doing so well…

Look, let me go off on a bit of a tangent here. I’m not entirely upset by Nintendo’s decision to abandon the Wii. They have a new console and they want to focus mostly on that. The Wii isn’t going to last forever, I get that. I’m not bothered by that. Even when all the online services are retired on Wii, I’ll still be playing my classic Virtual Console stuff, Wiiware stuff, and the few wrestling games I have for the console… and Tatsunoko Vs. Capcom. Can’t forget about that one. So, I like my Wii. I don’t regret buying one since I got it for my needs and it suited that just fine. And it will continue to do so longer after the console is relegated to a retro console thirty years down the line.

Here’s the thing that iffs me a bit. Wii has a rather large install base. Whether you like the console or not, you cannot deny that in terms of pure hardware sales and JUST hardware sales, Wii sold more units than its two high-definition competitors. It won that battle. And yet when Wii U comes out, Nintendo decides to drop support for those almost hundred million Wiis they sold. Not outright, but aside from a digital Wiiware game here or an oddball Virtual Console game there, Wii isn’t getting any new games any time soon, if at all. Some of the more worthless online services such as the News channel, Weather channel, Card Reading channel… those channels you don’t use that often, if at all? Gone and done by the end of June. Probably won’t be long before online components for games such as Smash Bros. or Mario Kart Wii go the way of Xbox Live on the original Xbox.

It’s not the fact that Nintendo is slowly abandoning the Wii; that much is expected. It’s the fact that they’re abandoning it already… and with a massive install base who they’re hoping will jump over to the Wii U because… because… well, it’s that “because” that Nintendo have a hard time trying to sell, isn’t it? Not everyone who owns a Wii will immediately jump at a Wii U, not with what little software there is to entice them. I certainly won’t be getting a Wii U anytime soon.

Let me put this in another way and use Sony as an example. The Playstation 2 is the undisputed best-selling video game console of all time, having sold well over 150 million units as of 2011. In fact, the only other video game console to come CLOSE to that number is a handheld; specifically, Nintendo’s DS handheld system. The second best-selling video game home console of all time, the original Playstation? 100 million units and the Wii is not that far with a little over 99 million units. That’s not conjecture nor an opinion. It’s the truth. The PS2 has outsold every video game console ever made.

And it’s only been discontinued RECENTLY.

Launched in 2000… retired in 2013… that’s a long amount of time to support one console. And some people might bitch, but I think it’s a smart move. Because there is a large install base with the PS2 and Sony didn’t just drop the console. They still supported it with games and releasing hardware revisions at a couple points here and there. PS2 thrived even during a generation ruled by high-definition consoles and motion control fads. Hell, even the original Playstation still had some support during the early years of its successor.

And then there’re examples close to home. The original NES was still getting games up until 1994, when the 16-bit video game wars was reaching its peak. The Super NES was still getting games until the turn of the decade when Playstation and N64 and Saturn were the go-to consoles, the in things. I could understand dropping the Gamecube when Wii came out in 2006, because the Gamecube wasn’t a big seller… Wii was and is a big seller for Nintendo, almost close to that 100 million mark only the DS and Game Boy handhelds have managed to break. And yet Nintendo decides to abandon that install base so soon?

That’s what irks me, perplexes me, and disappoints me… but I’m not upset by this. Not entirely…

Wow… that was some tangent… I forgot what I was going to talk about here… oh well…

Kyle Justin – The Unsung Hero Of The Angry Video Game Nerd

It seems almost unfortunate that of the original folks responsible for the enduring popularity of the Angry Video Game Nerd franchise, theme song composer and independent musician Kyle Justin is the one who gets the least screentime in the series. Obviously, we see James Rolfe since he’s the Nerd… sometimes, we’ll see Mike Matei in some costume that looks better than his performances… and on rare occasions, we’ll have a guest appearance from new folks or some familiar personality… but the number of times Kyle Justin makes his presence felt in the AVGN series, barring any musical cues, is far few and between. It is unfortunate because, whenever he appears onscreen in a Nerd video, he ends up being the most entertaining and humorous of the bunch. And oftentimes, the highlight of a Nerd video.

Case in point; the recent episode of AVGN covering the NES version of Ikari Warriors.

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The End of Amazing And Why I’m Cool With It

So… Amazing Spider-Man is no more… here comes the Superior Spider-Man…

I guess I shouldn’t worry about spoiling the final issue since it’s been out for a while, people know about it, and are most likely complaining about it… so if you haven’t read the book… you had your chance.

Continue reading “The End of Amazing And Why I’m Cool With It”

Random Thoughts About… PGSM

Before anyone ask… YES, this is a genuine, honest to goodness post about Sailor Moon. Kindly fuck off if that isn’t your thing.

To tell you the truth, Sailor Moon wasn’t necessarily my thing, either. I’m not sure if I would even call it a thing. My only exposure to the franchise would’ve been ages ago when they aired the original anime on TV… that would be the original dub where they changed the names and made other edits for the sake of the children and made the talking black cat sound like an eldery British woman… which is funny when you consider that Luna is supposed to be around the same age as the other Sailor girls, but I digress.

I remember watching some Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon back when it was airing in 2003; mostly through grabbing as much fandubs as possible before it became a hassle for the bandwidth. I think I was up to the point where they introduced that weird girl with the unhealthy obsession with Usagi/Sailor Moon. And for some reason, I decided to revisit this series recently since there were some YouTube uploads. ‘Cause I figure… why not?

Let’s make one thing clear; I’m not a self-professed Moonie or anything like that. Even though I watched the series and own exactly one Sailor Moon game for the SFC (a puzzle game), I haven’t read the manga (though I should probably give it a shot now that it’s been re-released), have not seen any of the musicals, and my only recollection of the anime was the dubbed version with changed names and a female Zoisite… or something to that extent, it’s been a while.

However, I kinda gave PGSM a shot and I kinda liked it… it’s a bit cheesy and perhaps a bit tacky, but I thought it was a nice, well-told story with some good performances  (Miyuu is almost a perfect Usagi in a way, carefree and clumsy, but not obnoxious like in the dubbed anime) and lots of what they call ballet-fu… oh, they love their ballet-fu. I almost prefer ballet-fu than wire-fu. Fighting evil monsters with ballet is awesome stuff.

Oh yeah, and the girls were easy on the eyes. I mean that in a clean way, pervert.

Interesting change made here; all the girls are dark haired when they’re not in Sailor suits fighting rubber monsters. I actually like this change because it makes some semblance of sense in distinguishing between the Sailor Soldiers and their civilian counterparts. I always found it pretty stupid that, in other Sailor Moon media, people couldn’t tell that Sailor Moon and Usagi, for example, were the same person. The fact that both have the EXACT SAME HAIRSTYLE done in EXACTLY THE SAME WAY should have been a dead giveaway, but I guess Japan is dumber than Angel Grove. Different hair color isn’t much to discern difference between sailor and suit (their face is still pretty exposed), but it IS something… even if it cancelled out by the Sailor Soldiers calling each other out by name. But again…

Yeah, that’s all I got. Go figure.

The Yobo FC Twin – A Compiled Tribute

Pictured on right: the legendary Yobo FC Twin. Ignore the thing on the left, thanks.

The Yobo FC Twin was one of the earlier 2-in-1 clone consoles released in the mid-2000s. Essentially a combo NES/SNES clone system, it was a step up on prior NES clones with improved NES cloning and somewhat better quality. But the reason for this tribute is simple – it was the console that got me back into classic gaming when I first picked one up back in October 2007 and the console that I frequently play today – and it still works wonders, meaning I’ve been rather fortunate.

Just to give you some sense of context when reading this, the following tribute was originally written/compiled back in November 2009 – a short two years after my initial purchase of the system – and it still holds up rather well – although I have made some tweaks and updates to the included incompatibility list. I’ll probably do a video overview in the near future, but right now, here’s a shitload of text regarding the wonder machine that brought me back into the fold and started me off on a journey of personal enlightenment. Enjoy.

Continue reading “The Yobo FC Twin – A Compiled Tribute”

The OTHER Overly Long And Completely Unnecessary AVGN 100 Post

Hello, friends… that’s how people usually open these things, right?

Some time ago, I posted my words for what was going to be a running video commentary of AVGN 100, the 100th episode of Angry Video Game Nerd web series covering the Robotic Operating Buddy peripheral for NES. I will let link to that piece of business and let you read it for yourselves, but to make a long story short, I didn’t like it. Therefore, it sucked.

Well, you’d think I’d have enough to say about that piece of business, but sure enough, that is not the case. Hence today’s post of word wall. I honestly wish I could tell you what compelled me to write more words on the matter, but truth be told, I just felt like it. Not the smartest or shrewdest reasoning, but it’s my blog, nobody is reading this thing anyway, and so why not vent for future generations?

Just a word of warning; if you are a fan of the individual I am about to talk about and can’t stand negativity of any kind, kindly see yourself click the Back button on your browser because I am going to be particularly brutal. Especially as it pertains to an individual who I have followed for six years but chances are that will not be the case anymore. I don’t hate the person; I wish him all the best, but I hate this latest product that he has put out… primarily because it’s not good.

Continue reading “The OTHER Overly Long And Completely Unnecessary AVGN 100 Post”

The Overly Long AVGN 100 Post Based On An Aborted VIdeo Commentary

There has been much hype and speculation as to what the 100th episode of the Angry Video Game Nerd is going to be about. Most people thought it would be E.T. Others thought it would be ROB. Personally, I was hoping he would do something totally unexpected and come up with something special. When the episode came out, I sat down and watched it. I hated it. I hated it to a point where I had prepared a script for a future video log. Cooler heads prevailed and so the script was posted on a blog somewhere.

This is my summary of the review after another few viewings… and I still don’t like this episode. I think it’s a pretty pisspoor review and one of the most abysmally produced episodes. If James Rolfe were to shit into a bag and plaster it on the Internet, you’d get this monstrosity.

A little word of warning before we begin; the following overview/commentary is vulgar at times and considerably scathing. My intent is not to cause offence to anyone within the Cinemassacre camp or anyone who might actually like the episode, but to give a very blunt review and commentary regarding my viewing and observations of this 100th episode. This is not a review of the overall AVGN franchise and the direction it has gone, nor is it an attempt to instigate any kind of stupid flame war or hate thread; this is a review of the 100th AVGN and that alone. I may go off on tangent at times, but only as it relates to the 100th episode alone.

Hey, if you like the episode and thought it was the greatest thing ever, then more power to you. It means that absolutely nothing I say here will change your outlook on the product whatsoever and therefore… I honestly don’t know why you’re still reading this. Nothing I say is going to change your mind and it should be only fair to warn you that nothing you say will make me change mine.

And if you feel you absolutely MUST comment, I only ask that you keep it clean and intelligible.

Are we cool on that? Then let’s get on with it.

Continue reading “The Overly Long AVGN 100 Post Based On An Aborted VIdeo Commentary”

DTM BLOG Classics #51 – Revisiting The “Secret Spider-Man” Movie

Today’s DTM Blog Classic archive post is something of a chronicle, covering a subject matter that I’ve touched on multiple times over the course of the blog’s life time. The majority of posts took place in 2004-2005, but the final thoughts came in 2011, which is why this is backdated to 2011 rather than when the earliest posts were done.

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Jeff Hardy

(2024 Update: Look, I wanted to have a nice looking banner for this thing, but since this is about one of Jeff Hardy’s lowest low points that made air, the only “nice” thing this deserves a recycled shot of Jeff Hardy’s atrocious TNA World title redesign. Believe me; if the thought occurred to do a banner at the time, it’d be far less pleasant.)

At Victory Road 2011, Jeff Hardy showed up stoned for work and caused the main event match between Sting and himself to be reduced to a 88 second squash match. The PPV ends with the Impact Zone audience chanting “BULLSHIT” and Sting, the reigning TNA World Heavyweight Champion, agreeing with them. I recently had a chance to rewatch the main event in question and it’s almost chilling to see an audience who usually cheers for just about anything that TNA will throw at them, piss on their product with great passion and anger… and even more so for the company’s top guy to agree with their assessment.

I did a video log a couple days ago, wondering what the mindset was in letting the match go ahead as it did and wondering how anyone in their right mind would legitimately believe that this was the absolute best way to end a PPV that people paid money for. Even days later, I’m at a loss to rationalise this as something beneficial and even TNA themselves couldn’t find a way to rationalise this thought process, which explains their offer to give those who bought the PPV six months free access to their OnDemand service, which was a rather nice gesture and something that took balls for them to admit that they delivered a less-than-stellar product.

However, the fact that TNA allowed Jeff Hardy to perform when he was in no condition to do so and to allow the PPV, which had been, in my opinion at least, a respectable PPV of varying quality up to that point, to end on such a sour note speaks volumes of the incompetence and ineptitude of the management that runs this company. And the really sad thing is that the warning signs of something like this happening were in sight for a long time. Jeff Hardy may be a hell of a performer when he’s in top form and the guy may have legions of fans, but it’s also no secret that the guy has heavy drug issues, reliability issues, and is also face drug trafficking charges that could seriously hinder what little he has left of a reputation.

There was a good reason why all of his three reigns as WWE World Champion lasted less than a month (with one reign barely lasting a minute) and there was also a good reason why WWE eventually let him go. And while it might have been due to Hardy taking the time to heal injuries, I think it would have been a matter of time before Hardy struck out with WWE’s Wellness Policy (he had already suffered two strikes) due to his substance abuse problems that have been well documented. He certainly would have been fired when he got busted on account of drug trafficking shortly after his “farewell” and stuck legal battles and court cases that are ongoing to this day.

TNA signed a guy who was convicted of drug trafficking and has drug issues, which often translate into reliability issues that could jeopardize the safety of those he works with in the ring as well as jeopardize the promoted show. And on top of that, TNA eventually made said convicted drug trafficker and addict their World Champion despite all the common sense in the world saying that this is a bad idea. And the thing is that there had been a couple occasions prior to the Victory Road debacle where Jeff Hardy had been unfit to work. Most notably at TNA’s Final Resolution PPV, where Hardy was reportedly “more offbeat than usual.” Hardy defenders had told people that this was due to travel fatigue, but I doubt that’s the only reason. I’d like to see the apologists try and spin this one because there’s NO way travel fatigue could be responsible for the main event people paid for at Victory Road.

And the truly sad thing is TNA will come out of this not having learned a damned thing. Oh, they issue a little offer to make up for their blunder to those who bought the PPV and I have applauded that move in a previous post (the only TNA post on this blog that ISN’T marked with the Total Nonstop Morons label) because it’s not often that a televised wrestling promotion would admit they gave paying customers a product that was below standards, but anyone who believes that  the company has learned from this experience is being foolish. The first chance they get, they’ll eventually bring Jeff Hardy back and push him harder than ever before, giving him another World title run despite (or perhaps in spite of) what happened this night.

I truly hope that this isn’t the case and that TNA will actually use this as a wake-up call to make changes to their product, perhaps to something that might distinguish them from what has come before and something that might appeal to a wider audience and garner their product better ratings and buys… but my hopes aren’t high.

What A Shitload of STFU

The following is a fictional conversation between myself and an Angry Video Game Nerd fan (referred to as Fanboy). Here we go:

Fanboy: Irate Gamer is a rip-off of AVGN! He plagiarizes James’ work!

DTM666: Okay. I’ve heard this accusation before. I believe there is some merit to it. So what evidence do yo have to support this claim of plagiarism.

Fanboy: Well, in one video, he says “What a shitload of fuck!”

DTM666: Yeah, so?

Fanboy: Well… that’s like AVGN’s catchphrase.

DTM666: Yeah… and?

Fanboy: Well… AVGN made that phrase up.

DTM666: Are you fucking retarded?

Fanboy: No, I don’t think I am. Why do you ask?

DTM666: Because you’d have to be if that’s the best evidence you have to offer. Or maybe really drunk. Or stupid. Possibly all three.

The above conversation… never happened. And I did not intend to insult any handicapable people out there. Even they would know better.

Continue reading “What A Shitload of STFU”