THE BITE COMMENTARIES #09 – Mortality, Crohn’s, And Crud

A little over a year ago, I revived the Bite commentary series, which was a thing I did back in the old DTM Webstation days and a bit further in the old DTM Blog. We’ve done eight of these in 2024 and I haven’t really had the urge to do another one until fairly recently. Not due to lack of interest, but I generally reserve the Bite commentaries for stuff that require a deep more thought and introspection than the usual fluff that I post around here. Unlike the old commentaries where I just talk about random stuff, I usually want to focus on one single thing and gather a bunch of thoughts on that.

Up until now, there hadn’t been much to bring up in that regard… but now I found something to talk about… and it’s something that I probably should have touched on a long time ago. But it is also something that I very rarely touch on around these parts because it falls outside the purview of this little web space, which is focusing on stuff that either amuse me or annoy me. For the most part, I try to keep things light here and rarely have a need to get truly serious about things.

So a couple words of warning; the obvious being that there might be some disturbing subject matter being touched on and discretion is strongly advised… but also, there’s a lot of copy and pasting being done from prior posts sort of being melded together to give you a fuller picture of my mental state because I simply don’t have the heart to retype the same words over and over again… and I simply want to focus on the healing from hereon out.

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When Did You Sour On Dwayne?

Once upon a time, there was a fellow named Dwayne Johnson, who trained to be a wrestler and would be the most electrifying man in sports entertainment. And then he decided to begin a Hollywood career that would span many hits and misses. Every so often, he’d come back to the place that first gained him his celebrity and do a couple token appearances saying a few token catchphrases… and people were into it because it’s the Rock.

And then something happened…

Dwayne decided he wanted to do a little more and all of a sudden, people weren’t liking him as much. Why was this? How did this happen? I couldn’t begin to tell you because some people still like Dwayne while others have long since soured on him. The question of when did someone sour on Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson over the years really has no answer save for the one that’s relevant to you.

So it’s no secret that I don’t hold Dwayne in such high regard these days, but there used to be a time when I was a fan of his. Rock had charisma, he had a gift for gab, he had limmericks that… good luck trying to get that stuff over in modern times, but the point was I dug what the guy was doing. And even when he was in Hollywood and he would come back for the occasional one-off, the guy still had it.

You can go back and read the old blog posts of back in the day when Rock vs. Cena was going to be a thing and let me tell you – while the story wanted you to root for John Cena because he was the full-timer who wouldn’t ditch WWE for Hollywood aspirations (spoiler: of course, he would), I was on Team Rock because now we’ve got a professional working their magic while everyone else was amateur hour. And when Rock beat Cena at Wrestlemania that year, it made me very happy.

But then something happened along the way… Rock came back and decided that he was going after the WWE Championship. Okay, cool… except said championship was currrently in the hands of one CM Punk, who was riding a wave of popularity that, despite a few hiccups, resulted in him getting a year-plus long reign with the WWE Championship. And the people who have been following this man was hoping that he would hold onto that title until Wrestlemania, where he’d presumably main event by virtue of being the champion.

Alas, it was not to be.

And so, at the Royal Rumble, The Rock defeated CM Punk to win the WWE Championship. And all of this was to set up the rematch between Rock and John Cena – the match that was billed as Once In A Lifetime turned out to be Twice In A Lifetime. While I knew that was going to happen, I was really hoping that someone would see sense and not go this route… but yeah, Rock became champion at the expense of CM Punk and that’s when I soured on  ol’ Dwayne.

Don’t get me wrong. The guy can cut great promos. He still has that gift for gab. But I wasn’t into his schtick anymore. Probably because I prefer Classic Rock, who was more crass and vulgar without having to be more vulgar in his wording.

I’ve only seen a handful of his movies. The last one I watched was probably Black Adam. From what I hear, a lot of his movies aren’t all that great unless it’s Moana or whatever it’s called. His ego has been called into question. Maybe that’s why he bought some stake in TKO, so he can manipulate WWE creative in ways that make no sense, but he can say that we’re twenty steps ahead and just enjoy the ride.

Which usually tells me they have no fucking clue what they’re doing and they’re just making shit up as they go along. Whatever pieces happen to fit is more by chance rather than by design.

So yes, whenever Dwayne shows up on screen at a WWE show, my first question is almost always going to be “What did he fuck up this time?” What was once a highlight on WWE programming has now become a harbinger of dread… okay, maybe not that extreme… but I’m still gonna ask, “What did Dwayne fuck up this time?”

So… yeah… that’s the story of Rock going sour.

On a final note… fuck off, Dwayne.

Later.

John Cena Was Always The Heel

On Saturday, March 1st, 2025, at the WWE Elimination Chamber premium live event from Toronto, 16x WWE World Champion and once franchise player John Cena did the unthinkable when he aligned himself with DWAYNE and beat the crap out of undisputed WWE Champion Cody Rhodes, finally turning heel for the first time since 2003. Wrestling audiences and the WWE Universe were in awe, citing this as the greatest turn in recent memory.

My reaction to the turn? Took them long enough.

You folks need to understand something here. What John Cena did wasn’t going against his principles. He was simply doing what was best for the company that made him a household name. John Cena was all about doing what was best for the brand. If that meant toning down his act to be more acceptable to the kiddies, if that meant being the goofy do-gooder in the same vein as Hulk Hogan (minus the bullshit), if that meant siding with the company over things that fans took issue with, then that’s what he was going to do. People claimed that John Cena sold out, but really, they’re just seeing him for what he truly is.

See, in my eyes, John Cena was always the heel. Whenever he would be in a program against somewhat who deserved a run with the WWE title, I’d be rooting for the other guy. One only need to read my wrestling musings from the late-2000s to early-2010s when I would refer to Cena with juvenile names such as “John Worthless” or “John Useless” or some other stuff like that. Every time there was an up-and-coming talent that was catching fire and John Cena was somehow involved, that was usually the kiss of death for that up-and-comer. See, it wasn’t about Cena giving the new guy the rub, but rather it was about Cena taking the spotlight from the new guy; the idea being that “hey, if I pair up with this guy, people will stop booing me.”

They try this every single time and it not only almost fails every time, but the guy that they paired Cena up with that was popular with the fans… well, he’d be off to jobber territory, seen as collateral damage in the effort to make Cena look really, really strong. And so the end result becomes not only is Cena no more loved than before, but eventually, they figure out how to chant JOHN CENA SUCKS in line with his theme song. How bad was Cena getting it in the ass from the crowd? When Rock came along and Cena decided to be the defender of WWE honor because he’s a full-timer versus the part-timer Rock who says he cares but really doesn’t… people were rooting for the part-timer. It got to a point where anytime they try to do this part-timer vs. full-timer thing these days, nine times out of ten, they’ll cheer for the more popular part-timer because the full-timer comes across as a whiny geek.

And so one day, John Cena’s time in the ring is limited. He spends more time in Hollywood, he gets meme’d, he comes back for sporadic appearances to put over younger talent, including Austin Theory… with whom they’d proceed to do fuck all with afterwards. And when John Cena decided to go for one last farewell tour… well, this year’s he’s gonna win the Rumble… that didn’t pan out… so fuck it, he inserted himself into the Elimination Chamber and he won the match… and then he turned on Cody… and then he cut his promo a couple weeks later about being in an abusive relationship with the fans, who were just awful, awful idiot losers that kept booing him no matter what stunts he did to get their approval.

Nothing he said in that promo was untrue… but he’s just admitting what most of us already know. But then comes the unspoken part… people boo him being in the spot he’s in because they’d rather see other people be in that spot. In a sense, John Cena’s journey was similar to that of Roman Reigns when he first broke away from the Shield and WWE would attempt every trick under the sun to get people to like the guy because THIS TIME FOR SURE… and it never happened. In fact, what did happen was that Roman took time off for leukemia, came back, took time off because of COVID, and drastically reinvented his whole schtick to become the Tribal Chief he is today. So yes, he started off as a babyface hero nobody wanted, became one of the biggest heels that people started to like, and now he’s one of the top fan favorites in the company. Took him long enough to get there, but he got there.

This John Cena heel turn… if you want to call it that… isn’t going to mean anything in the long term. It’s not a paradigm shifting event like Hogan being the third man. It’s more along the lines of Andre The Giant, who was a fan favorite for years and often neglected by all who mattered, taking matters into his own hands by joining with evil forces to confront the fans’ new beloved babyface. It adds intrigue to the WWE Championship picture at Wrestlemania 41, but that’s about all it’s going to do.

And you know what? I’m fine with that.

I’ll admit that I wasn’t too keen on the whole Cody/Cena thing and even with this latest wrinkle, I’m still a bit on the cautious side of things. Still, you’ve got a bit of spice in a feud that desperately needed it. And if nothing else, fuels potential speculation for what happens next.

The Winners And Losers Of 2024

Happy New Year, kids. Here’s the annual Winners And Losers Of 2024.

No much of an intro this time around, as my hopes for 2025 aren’t high and honestly, 2024 wasn’t completely terrible despite terrible moments taking place in it. In any event, have fun and see you in a little bit.

Have fun.

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THE BITE COMMENTARIES #08 – Memories Of The DTM-Cast

This coming Tuesday is the end of an era… so to speak.

This coming Tuesday on New Year’s Eve, thirty minutes past midnight, the DTM-Cast – this strange little audio project that has been an on-and-off thing since 2013 – will be posting its final episode. As a matter of fact, as I am writing this, I am in the process of reading my closing thoughts on the show. And it is a show that I implore you folks to listen to.

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THE BITE COMMENTARY #07 – The Four Year Wait

The following post is a post about politics on a blog that normally does not discuss politics because it’s something that this blog does not like to talk about, but I guess we need to talk about this because sometimes I need to let out that borderline misanthropic side that absolutely hates humanity for its constant stupidity. If you would rather not read about such things, then skip this post and move on to… just about anything else on this blog. There’s going to be a new review up later today on an old Atari game that’s more entertaining and happy than this post. Otherwise, please bare with me as I ramble about a recent political event.

So… I guess that’s in the books, huh?

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Terry, You Fumb Duck…

I’d normally wouldn’t touch this with a ten-yard pole… I’d prefer a pitchfork of equal length. But I felt… “compelled” might not be the right word, but… nah, I just felt like it.

So resident humanitarian and sportsman of the year HULK HOGAN recently went on some podcast and made the ridiculous claim that people forgave Chris Benoit for the “crap he did,” so why not extend the same courtesy to ol’ Terry, who said some racist things here and there? People still love Chris Benoit, says Hogan. People still think highly of him, says the Orange Goblin. So if people forgave him and still love him, then maybe wrestling fans can forgive Hogan for the less than heinous in comparison things that he’s done, brother. That would work for him, DUDE!

Terry, you dumb fuck.

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THE BITE COMMENTARY #06 – 25 Years Of Classic Game Room

2024 is the year that Classic Game Room celebrates its 25th anniversary.

Well, it’s more accurate to say that twenty five years ago, Classic Game Room was born… to say that there is any celebrating of the occasion would be a bit of a fib… at least, on the part of Classic Game Room.

For what it’s worth, Mark Bussler – host and creator of CGR – is still around. He still has a CGR website that still talks about CGR and showcases CGR content. But he’s more focused on this music-making and publishing ventures, which make more money than the CGR videos do… fair enough from a business standpoint… but still sad to see in the long term.

I’ve been wanting to do a thing on CGR’s 25th anniversary… and truth be told, I had started on this a while back after having watched the CGR 20th anniversary video release that seldom few people know about because it’s a paid collection of CGR reviews – some of which may or may not have made it to the CGR Forever streams that were a thing for a while. I actually started writing this piece earlier this year, with the intent of finishing it and posting it last month. Other stuff came up and this was ultimately forgotten about, but I suddenly remembered that this was a thing and… well, I have thoughts on Classic Game Room, the journey of the show, my enjoyment of it, and well… other such things like possible futures or lack thereof.

Needless to say, I’m going to bounce around all over the place in this supposed narrative. I’m also going to be quite salty in some regards, which may result in some choice words being used that I would otherwise refrain from using. If you don’t mind any of that stuff… well, do dive in.

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THE BITE COMMENTARY #05 – John Luck Picard And The Taint Of Sour Mead

It was six years ago that the announcement was made that Sir Patrick Stewart would be returning to the role that made him a household name – Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the USS Enterprise – in a new series bearing the character’s name. There was excitement en masse that the new regime of Star Trek would be returning to the world they remembered.

My reaction to the news was cautious optimism.

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20 Years Ago… A Record That May Never Be Broken

So… to sort of segueway to something that has nothing to do with me… on this day, 20 years ago, WWE Summerslam 2004, emanating from the then-Air Canada Center in Toronto, Ontario, Canada, saw Randy Orton defeat then-World Heavyweight Champion Chris Benoit to win his first World championship at the age of 24 years old, making him the youngest World Heavyweight Champion in WWE history. He beat out Brock Lesnar, who, two years previous, defeated the Rock at Summerslam 2002 to win the then-undisputed WWE Championship at the age of 25. Before that, it was a three-way tie between Rock, Yokozuna, and the Undertaker, whom each won their first WWF titles at the age of 26. Lesnar remains the youngest superstar to hold the original WWE Championship dating back to 1963, which comprises 1/2 of the current Undisputed WWE Championship, currently held by Cody Rhodes.

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