Author: dtm666

I ramble about things.

PPV Predictions – WWE Unforgiven 2002

Unforgiven 2002… quite honestly, I don’t remember too much about this one, outside of what I can recall and recount from when I wrote the original predictions sheet back in 2002. But the show itself was a total blank for me. It might have been a decent show, all things considered, but not a memorable one, I suppose. Oh well.

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Classic Bite Commentary #12 – September 13th, 2002

Hey folks, how’s it going? Yes, this is the second Bite commentary update of the week, right here on Friday The 13th… you know what that means? Superstition aside, you’re guaranteed bad luck for the rest of your life if you claim Jason X is the best of the Jason movies… quite frankly, I think Jason X is a series in itself and not particularly related to the “classic” Friday movies… on the other hand, Jason Goes To Hell: The Final Friday was pretty crappy as well.

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Classic Bite Commentary #11 – September 10th, 2002

Greetings friends. Things were rather hectic again here at home which prevented me from posting a new commentary, so I’m sorry and thanks for your patience. This was supposed to be up on the first of September, so stuff added on that day is here. Then we move on to the current comments. So there, two days for the price of one!

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MOVIE REVIEW – Space Jam (1996)

Space Jam was a movie I saw in an empty theater with my brother and someone else. It was one of the first times I’ve been to a movie that has (almost) no one in it. That kind of memory sticks out more than the movie itself.

But as far as the movie goes… I thought it was alright.

Story goes that the Looney Tunes characters are being challenged by alien basketball players who want to beat the past out of the ‘toons, so they enlist the help of one Michael Jordan, who was in the middle of a baseball career in between stints in the basketball court. The movie is done in the same way as Who Framed Roger Rabbit, where Michael Jordan himself would mingle with the ‘Tunes in their hand-drawn cartoon world and eventually vice versa would happen. Obviously, years of technological advancement has made the technique a bit more seamless than before, but it’s not the only film to pull it off. The whole thing looks fine as a result. The animation is pretty smooth, the voice acting is true to the characters, and Michael Jordan… well, he’s Michael Jordan and he does Michael Jordan better than anyone else… even Michael Jordan.

Space Jam turned out to be a pretty enjoyable film and Bill Murray even shows up to share some of his comedic magic… because you sure as shit ain’t gettin’ it from ol’ MJ. Still, fun for the whole family and all that. Well worth a revisit these days.

MOVIE REVIEW – Rollerball (2002)

Rollerball is a remake of an old 1975 film starring James Caan. I wasn’t remotely aware of that until I came across a VHS copy of the film at a video shop somewhere. While I never saw that original film, I have – unfortunately – seen this remake.

There’s no way ’round this. This movie absolutely sucks.

It’s an EXTREME sports movie involving a variation of roller derby (you know, that sport that airs on the ol’ NASHVILLE NETWORK) and a ball. I generally don’t care for these sorts of films, which makes you wonder why I’d even watch the damn thing, let alone review it. But even if I’m not interested in the sport, I can get into a sports movie if it’s compelling enough. I enjoy good stories more than anything. I get none of that here.

The acting is absolutely abysmal. Like the cast seems to be phoning it in and are just there to collect a paycheque. I suppose I can’t blame them if they had a shit script to work with. Let me put it to you another way. The two best actors in this entire film was Shane McMahon in a two second silent cameo and also Paul Heyman, who plays the bombastic announcer. Those are your best actors in this film and one of them is barely there for a cup of coffee. I sat through this whole movie for THOSE two. Something is seriously wrong here.

Visually, this looks like a mess. There’s nothing visually appealing here – even the token post- apocalyptic features have some reasonable visuals. More emphasis is spent on close-ups and horrible acting than on the sport itself. In fact, the pacing is so bad that I often lose track of what’s going on, but I’m too scared to go back and rewatch because that means subjecting myself to this horrible mess. This is just really ugly. An eyesore to say the least… especially in regards to those HORRENDOUS night vision sequences. It seems like the longer I watch this, with each passing moment in time, I can somehow feel my soul wither away as I attempt to follow the excruciatingly awful storyline.

Rollerball was a dreadful film to sit through. I need to stop watching movies based on the fact that people I know from other properties will appear in them, especially if those movies are going to suck the proverbial meat missile. Avoid at all costs.

PPV Predictions – WWE Summerslam 2002

Summerslam 2002 was the show that signaled the changing of the guard, as it would feature the end of the Rock’s tenure as a regular WWE Superstar and the rise of Brock Lesnar as an unstoppable main event force in WWE… for about a couple years, at least. Not only that, but this was the show that brought Shawn Michaels back in the fold after four years of retirement… yeah, we’ll see how long his second retirement lasts before he gets the itch to jump back in, but he seems to mean it this time… and it was on his terms… somewhat.

I recently got myself an copy of the show from one of my friends and gave it a watch for the first time in years. I enjoyed it for the most part. So yeah, here are my picks from 2002, the end results of the match, and some recent thoughts and reflections on the show.

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A Short Comment on Chris Jericho And The “Internet Marks”

The following piece was taken from The Bite edition 06/30/2002 in a subject called “Chris Jericho’s Bashing of the Internet Marks”

“I am browsing through the wrestling webpages and I find this link which contains Chris Jericho’s comments about the dirtsheets and critics (or as he calls them, “marks”) who gave his match with Rob Van Dam negative reviews. If that was the case, then explain to me why this match was the second most-enjoyed match in the King of the Ring (according to a WWE.com poll on June 26th 2002 – 7:49 AM Eastern Time, for those who want to be technical). Explain to me why I actually enjoyed watching this match… It seems to me lately people are more interested in picking out the bad points of a product (in this case, the WWE) than to be entertained by it. They want to check for low ratings of the product and figure out what’s wrong with the product.

“On one of the dirtsheets Tuesday morning, I saw this article agreeing with Chris Jericho’s comments. He thought the June 24th episode of Monday Night Raw was one of the best he’s seen, despite the low rating. Sounds like this guy’s been entertained pretty well. He also says the people who claim that “without big guys like Austin, Rock, or Triple H, WWE is going nowhere” are also the same people who a year ago have said that “WWF (F the Panda) needs to get the limelight off Austin/Rock/HHH, WWF needs to create new stars.” These people are contradicting their own words by saying stuff like this now. If you’re going to review a card, review both its positive and negative attributes. To claim that the crowd was pretty much dead is a joke. I thought the crowd was into it, especially during the RVD/Jericho and Lesnar/Test matches, both of which I felt were highlights of the card.

“The ratings do not dictate whether the card was good or bad. It dictates how many people were watching the show with interest. You can have the absolute best quality television program that night and still manage to score a pathetic 2.9. That simply means in order to attract a larger audience, the writers have to do better than what they are providing.”

That pretty much sums up how I felt about the whole thing at the time. Two months later, I purchase a copy of Pro Wrestling Illustrated (referred to commonly as PWI) in which one of the magazine’s columnists (once again) agree with Chris Jericho’s internet tirade. (All the more interesting is the fact that Chris is true to his word about being done with wrestling on the Internet, as I have yet to see a new commentary posted… nor do I expect one.) The wrestling “newswires” and dirtsheets are nothing more than a source of negativity and bullshit rumors that may or may not happen. It seems that 10% of what’s out there actually holds some merit (mainly Smackdown spoilers – which is the only reason I go to these sheets in the first place), while the rest is “speculation” or “rumor.” I opt for the third option: bullshit.

These days, there is no true way to be entertained by wrestling because we are often tempted to go to these dirtsheets and check out the latest “backstage heat” or “potential future storylines.” And when they do happen in a wrestling card, we shrug it off and pass it as “predictable.” Of course, before you went on to the dirtsheet, you probably didn’t have a clue as to what happened.

On the other hand, though, wrestling hasn’t really changed much during the time it’s been around. Maybe some of the stuff is semi-predictable, maybe some of the stuff is the same shit, and maybe we’re getting the same match ups over and over again. You can call it whatever you want (wrestling, sports-entertainment, male soap opera, the fake sport), dress it up in any way you like, but it is the same product. It is the same basic principle.

Bottom line… who gives a fuck, really? I mean, if you are tired of the same old thing happening over and over again, THEN DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND STOP WATCHING THE FUCKING SHOW!  Is there anything that is tempting you to watch something you don’t like in a negative light? If there is something I don’t like on TV or in the movies, I don’t watch it. It’s as simple as that. Find something you do like and go watch that. It seems as though there are people will just about bash anything and may very well like anything… that is something Chris Jericho has stated in his commentary. In some sense, that is true. Also in some sense, I don’t think there is such a thing as a true fan. In fact, I think these days, the definition of being a fan has changed to the point where the original meaning is lost.

A fan used to be someone who enjoyed the show… but now I think a fan has evolved into a mark… if you’re a fan, you will enjoy the product you’re a fan of. It’s alright to criticize, but enjoy the show too.