Author: dtm666

I ramble about things.

Countdown To Destruction… Six Years Lter

Originally posted in three parts on the original DTM Blog. Naturally, this archive version has been edited into one single post. I don’t recall the context, but I think it has something to do with some poll to air popular episodes on the old ABC Family channel or something.

Continue reading “Countdown To Destruction… Six Years Lter”

COMIC REVIEW – Avengers #500 (Disassembled – Part 1)

Avengers hit its 500th issue – or rather, it’s the 85th issue of the third volume, but we’re reverting to the old numbering because all of a sudden we care about our issue numbers until we eventually don’t – so how do we celebrate this milestone? How about we blow up Avengers Mansion and kill off a couple staple characters for good measure?

The first of four issues comprising the Avengers Dissambled storyarc that is supposed to bring the current Avengers run to a close in order to make way for a new Avengers series by BENDIS’ own hand. Unfortunately, the story starts off in such gruesome fashion that it seems like an excuse for Bendis to kill off a few name characters just to tickle his fancy… and the sad thing is that it isn’t going to end here because this is less about putting together a compelling Avengers story that might please older fans and possibly new fans to jump in… and more about shock value. Kill the Ant Man. Have She-Hulk go berserk and rip Vision apart! Why don’t we kill Cap off while we’re at it?

I’ll admit that I liked some of Bendis’ stuff; his Daredevil run was solid and ballsy, his work on Ultimate Spider-Man is pretty top-notch, and on occasion, he’s managed some stroke of brilliance in the oddball title or two. David Finch does some great artwork that manages to compliment the chaos depicted in the written word, with a talent to make abject horroric scenes seem even more so with some fine detail.

A rather underwhelming start to the final chapter of this Avengers era to make way for the new one, I’m holding out hope that things will look up… unfortunately, I have a feeling that it’s a false hope at best.

MOVIE REVIEW – Catwoman (2004)

Might as well get it off my chest. Unfortunately, against my better judgment, I had seen Catwoman. When someone joked about it being the next great horror story, he was half-right. It was horrifying, but not great.

Even years after the movie’s release, I still can’t buy Halle Berry in the Catwoman role. I have a hard time believing that she was the absolute best woman for the job when there were probably tons of more qualified actresses (regardless of ethnicity) that could have fit the role just fine. I think the decision to cast Berry has more to do with her popularity at the time than anything else. And you know what? She’s a fine actress in her own right – won Oscars for a reason – but this Catwoman role is beneath her. And the hapless script gives her little to do to make the character remotely likable.

So they changed the back story of the character; instead of thief Selina Kyle, we get graphic artist Patience Phillips. You know what? I’m cool with that. It doesn’t really bother me. But while the original Catwoman character is supposed to be somewhat of an anti-hero and has somewhat of an interesting history and character, this Catwoman is more of a prostitute than anything else, the flimsy costume (ugh) contributing to that image more than anything else. Nothing she does in this movie gives me a reason to care about her plight because she comes off as really unlikable. In fact, none of the characters seem interesting. They’re just there.

As for the rest of the movie… it’s terrible. The acting is below par, the visuals are dark and murky, and the action is pretty underwhelming. The plot is horrible girl power cliché garbage involving toxic cosmetics and… I’m entirely convinced that there is no script despite writers being credited. I can only assume they wrote this on a couple napkins and someone thought this was a good idea to turn into a movie.

Overall, Catwoman is one of those movies best left in the gutter. There’s nothing remotely redeeming about this film; it’s just terrible, terrible stuff. So terrible that it will kill your cat and strip it of its remaining lives at the same time. Avoid this movie at all costs.

DTM BLOG Classics #04 – Vengeance And The Backdoor

All I’ll say is; after skipping one PPV and witnessing two sucky ones, Vengeance finally delivered and gave me reason to sit through the whole thing as opposed to passing out. Nice to see Benoit (who is the reigning WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION) finally get the main event slot, even if he had to share the spotlight with McSon-In-Law and the [mentally challenged fellow] in order to get the deed done.

On a sidenote, I was browsing WWE.com the other day and came across this tidbit from their latest column of In the Know – part of WWE.com’s Backdoor section – regarding our current WWE Champion John Bradshaw Layfield.

JBL was once paid $3 to wrestle for Iceman King Parson. Iceman also told JBL to never go to WWE. Obviously not good advice.

Yeah, they got a point. If I were Iceman King Parson, I would have told Bradshaw to retire so Smackdown would have a decent champ. I’d take Undertaker over fucking Bradshaw.

But what do I care? I don’t watch Smackdown.

DTM BLOG Classics #02 – SD, Euro 2004, Spider-Man 2

What a piece of crap yesterday’s Smackdown was. WWE champion Bradshaw doesn’t make it any better. Now I’m not going to sit here and discuss how that move is so wrong in many different ways because it just isn’t worth it.

Looks like it’ll be Portugal and Greece this coming Sunday in the finals of the Euro 2004 tourney. The opener is also the finals. You have to give props to both teams, as expectations were against them and they’ve surpassed all other teams to make it to the top spot and compete for the championship.

Spider-Man 2 is out for some time now. Haven’t heard much about it, but from what I’ve read, it’s better than the first… so it can only be a superb-er-er flick.

Later…

DTM BLOG Classics #01 – Great American Bash 2004 Thoughts

Great American Bash didn’t fail to disappoint. It had all the endearing qualities and quantity of stupid and illogic that had made WCW pay-per-views what they were in the day. Good lord, what stupidities have happened on this show? Oh, where to begin?

– Bradshaw is the new WWE heavyweight champion. As if Smackdown wasn’t bad enough…

– You’d have to wonder Percy Pringle’s face when he signed on to return as Paul Bearer. “Okay, Purse. You’ll show up at Mania, take two months off, show up again, get kidnapped, and be buried in SEE-MEANT by Mark.” Dang.

– I would have been more content if the card was just the U.S. title match (good one), the Cruiserweight title match (Rey/Chavo delivers whether you want to admit it or not), the SEE-MEANT crypt match with Taker ‘killing’ Bearer, and the bag of shit that was the WWE World title match. Instead, they added these jobber matches that aren’t even suited for Sunday Night Heat. And do we really need another Sable/Torrie match?

– Chicks in bikinis… yep, the illusion is shattered. This is a WWE pay-per-view.

What a crappy PPV. It’s almost sad that just a short couple years ago, THIS was the superior show.

Anyway, that’s it. Hope everyone has a Happy Canada/Independence Day…

Later…

COMIC REVIEW – Robin #125 (Vol. 2)

You all know that Robin’s being replaced. That’s common knowledge. If you don’t, one only needs to go here and find out.

At the risk of “spoiling” everything, I’m going to tell you that no, Robin doesn’t die. He quits. There you go; no need to buy this comic…

In all seriousness, however, the means of forcing Tim Drake to retire the Robin mantle is rather interesting, but the fact that no one has made an effort to hide what is to come doesn’t help the stock of this issue. I’m guessing the “retirement” of Tim Drake was the big consequence of last issue’s “unveiling”… and even though I haven’t read that last issue, I did read this issue. It peaked my interest even though I knew what was going to happen in a sense, so it worked on that level. The cover is rather bland and doesn’t really relate much to what’s in the issue, but it’s a good thing. The art in this issue is okay, but it really doesn’t do much for me. It’s not that it’s bad, but on the other hand, it’s really uninteresting and it doesn’t try to suck me into the story. Then again, that’s just me.

On the up side however, we’re getting a new Robin… again. And it’s a girl… again. This is the history of the Robin persona, a position that had been filled in by a young kid raised in a circus who had the nasty tendency of saying “Holy-this” and “Holy-that”, a snot-nosed kid whose rebellious nature got him killed by readers, and a “bland, whitebread kid” (thanks, Brian)… Whoever this new kid is (I know who, but I’m not going to “spoil” it for you) has some pretty small shoes to fill, but she should glad that she isn’t going to be wearing those god-awful pixie boots from the early days of the Robin legacy.

Under a different time, the 125th issue of Robin would have been a good book because it has the title character, through circumstances out of his control, forcibly step down from his career as a superhero. That alone would have been an unexpected move. But today, with DC’s own website and Previews basically spoiling the surprise by posting images of future issue covers, this comes off as nothing more than an average book with nothing to sell it on. Whether it’s worth the asking price is up to the customer (as with… everything), but I’d skip this one and wait for the next issue… which has the girl Robin debuting.

GameFAQS Review – Star Wars: TIE Fighter (MS-DOS)

In 1993, LucasArts released an unassuming Star Wars flight sim called X-Wing for the PC and was instantly praised as one of the better Star Wars games, thanks to its immersive gameplay, detailed graphics, and involving storyline placing the player in control of a Rebel pilot who controlled a number of Rebel craft such as the maneuverable A-Wing, the heavy bomber Y-Wing, the assault fighter B-Wing, and of course, the familiar X-Wing, in a battle against the Empire.

And then came TIE Fighter, the sequel where you get to work for Darth Vader. Greatest game ever, end review.

Okay, just kidding. Let’s look at this thing in more detail, shall we?

Continue reading “GameFAQS Review – Star Wars: TIE Fighter (MS-DOS)”