Is Dino Thunder An Apology For Ninja Storm?

I woke up one morning and waited in anticipation of Ninja Storm, the newest incarnation of Power Rangers and the first one under the belt of Village Roadshow productions. The usual questions comes up, the usual spoiler info is leaked, but all in all, that wouldn’t stop me from having high hopes for this thing.

At eleven thirty, the show begins and I watch with an interested eye.

An hour later, I’m asking myself what the fuck that was.

After about ten episodes of Ninja Storm, I completely shut out on the show. I’ve glanced on a couple of eps late in the series and the quality seemed to have improved somewhat, but not enough for me to stick with it.

For the first time since following the Power Rangers franchise in the very beginning, I’ve turned away from the show, not watching a majority of the episodes and quite frankly not caring. Didn’t even stick around for the finale. That had the makings of being a shitty product in comparison to those before and after. Yes, this show sucked more than Turbo and I’ve seen enough Turbo to know it.

I don’t blame the actors; they played their roles well considering what they had to work with.

I don’t blame the Jap footage; it’s blends nicely with the U.S. footage, even moreso than Wild Force.

I blame it on crappy writing.

It’s a kid show; I know that. On the other hand, you watch some other kids shows and realize that there’s more sophistication than what Ninja Storm had to offer. When an episode of a cheap-ass cartoon such as Superfriends is more sophisticated and provides more entertainment than Ninja Storm, you know something is wrong.

Apparently, Doug saw something wrong and decided to fix it.

DinoThunder seems to be Doug Sloan’s way of apologizing for the crapfest that is Ninja Storm. From the initial episodes, the show looks very promising. The addition of Jason Frank (who reprises his role as Doctor Tommy… how did that happen?) is an interesting move and the current cast of Rangers seem watchable and bearable.

Apology accepted, Doug. Don’t fuck THIS show up.

Classic Bite Commentary #46 – January 13th, 2004

Another year, another Bite commentary, more headaches for all those involve; me and my two middle fingers that do all the typing in order to resume my projects after a 2-week hiatus that involved playing my new Final Fantasy Origins game and keeping my new Klingon action figure company. Brace yourselves; this will be a long pisser tonight. (2013 Dave Says: No, it won’t.)

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Classic Bite Commentary #45 – December 23th, 2003

First off, a Happy Holidays to all. Enjoy your two-weeks of days offs, losers. I know I will. heh heh heh. The actual commentary today will be short; instead what’s beefing this thing up are all the extra stuff that precede it.

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Classic Bite Commentary #44 – November 23rd, 2003

Sorry for not writing soon, folks, but I’ve been a little worn out the past couple of weeks. It happens and I’m not making any excuses. As a result, I hadn’t had time to do most of the stuff I was hoping to get up by now. This seemed to be a recurring trend during this time in my life. As you may have noticed, the majority part of the site is down. Only the fanfiction and this commentary is up. This, of course, usually indicates that the site is undergoing a refit (that or a shutdown, but in this case, it’s a minor refit). This shouldn’t take me long, as I have been working on the majority part of my time.

(2014 Dave Says: Unfortunately, the DTM Webstation website was more often than not in a state of shutdown as I tinkered around with Frontpage and Photoshop, fiddling around with web designs that seemed cool at the time, but would look rather ghastly today.)

So all the announced projects have been sidetracked, due to the dedication of renovating this site (that and my creative juices hasn’t flowed much these days). However, any and all updates planned will be up (slowly) by the end of the year (2003 or 2004? Who knows?).

(Who knows indeed? I had lots of planned projects and only a few of them came to fruition… doesn’t that sound familiar?)

By the way, do you like the Sailor Moon gif at the opening page? It’s a quick fix that took me five minutes to put together… and I mean that quite literally.

(I assume I was talking about a two-frame Laughing Minako GIF that would see the rest of its days on the Webstation update page… don’t remember if I still have THAT laying around somewhere, but it’s due for a comeback of sorts.)

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Classic Bite Commentary #43 – October 31st, 2003

Did you really believe that the Ultimate Warrior (real name: Warrior) was really returning to “actual” wrestling? HA! From the words of Mr. Warrior himself:

Hello Warriors. Those of you who have continued to follow my career going-ons know Ultimate Warrior has long been waiting for the perfect (and principled) time to unleash a ring return. Amidst the never-ending rumors and mistruths spread by others, the time to return has come and is now and it is with Acclaim! An entertainment promotion with class, pride and integrity. After many years of absence, I am thrilled to be working again with Acclaim’s talented, creative and professional staff on the new, next-level of their Legends of Wrestling: SHOWDOWN video game! Acclaim has assured me that Ultimate Warrior rises and soars and rules, shakes ropes, shatters hopes and awakens the Gods of Parts Unknown in this incredible opportunity to settle ALL SCORES, unfinished business and even new beefs!, in the ULTIMATE place to do battle — THE SHOWDOWN RING! The intensity of Ultimate Warrior lives on.

Fine, so Warrior (aka Ultimate Warrior) is a playable character in the latest Acclaim wrestling offering. Whoopee. What does this have to do with a wrestling return? And why would anyone demand a return of Ultimate Warrior (real name: Warrior)? Always Believe… My Ass.

Other than that, things have been pretty smooth these days. Nothing of note has happened that isn’t commonplace in my wacky world. It’s Halloween, but you knew that already.

(2013 Dave Says: Oh, 2003 Dave. So much of a missed opportunity.)

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Classic Bite Commentary #42 – October 27th, 2003

Good morning, citizens. How are we today? Man, I never thought printing classes would be so exhausting, even when learning something as complex as tracing on Adobe Illustrator. But I digress. This is one of the best things that could ever happen to me. Just several months ago, I was under a cloud of depression I thought would never be lifted and while I’m still a depressed bastard, the oppurtunity to learn printing preses is a thrilling experience, one that I hope to make the most of. Then again, I could always be a film director. Kevin Smith said it best: when in Hollywood, you only fail upwards… ugh, never again will I seek out Silent Bob for quotes.

This could be an alibi for not updating the site or even posting a good commentary in past weeks, but then I’d be fooling myself. I’ve written bits and pieces of this thing many times, but never got the chance to post it, so rather than make it up to date, I figure just post it as is, since nothing is time specific anyway. So here you go. Maybe some time down the road, I’ll sit down and write out a decent commentary that is smooth… the best smoothness I could muster anyway.

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MMPR Versus The Phaker Rangers

The Power Rangers must battle distorted clones of themselves, resulting a fight of ridiculous proportions.

Disclaimer: The author would like to clarify that Power Rangers and its characters is owned by Saban Brands and not the author. Also, this work references a wrestling event produced by World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE), which was then-known as the World Wrestling Federation (WWF).

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MOVIE REVIEW – From Justin To Kelly (2003)

Alert the medical profession – the cure for insomnia has been found!

Everyone knows Kelly Clarkson, right? That chick who won that American Idol ages ago and made a career for herself with a couple decent-selling albums? She seemed to do fine as far as I know. Don’t really follow her all that much (not my kind of music), but she’s making a career out of it, at least.

Lucky for her too, because Justin has been off the radar somewhat as of late.

In 2003, Kelly (the first Idol winner) and Justin (the first Idol runnerup) were shoehorned into a movie called From Justin to Kelly, without a doubt the best movie that ever put me to sleep… I’m not joking. I have rarely seen a movie which bored me to tears, but this takes the cake.

Maybe it’s because I’m not a big fan of the movie type where every one breaks into song for no apparent reason, but I’ve seen Grease and that didn’t put me to sleep. It probably wouldn’t help the movie’s cause any way, as it has a cliché plot, uninteresting characters, and acting that makes pre-school make-believe sessions seem like Shakespeare in comparison.

The only thing that could have saved this movie is Simon Cowell showing up after every song and berating the cast and crew for such a dreadful number. Oh well.

Moral of the story: when starring in rubbish like this, having a rack helps. Someone should have clued that Justin fellow in on that trade secret.

Please don’t watch this movie. It’s not worth your time.

Classic Bite Commentary #41 – September 12th, 2003

Hey yo. I’ve been hit by a common-cold to headache to insomnia combo attack recently that has impaired me somewhat. I’m not at a hundred percent yet, but I am feeling much better and much more hospitable. Which means I can rant again. So here we are.

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Classic Bite Commentary #40 – August 23rd 2003 (and bonus material)

(2014 Update: The following post originally featured Hulk Hogan inadvertantly gave away spoilers for taped editions of Impact Wrestling. The video in question has since been removed, so in its place, I posted another Bite commentary, along with a couple additional bits that were posted days later, but weren’t long enough to merit their own individual posts. As per the case, any modern reflections is added in bold)

Hello, young whippersnappers. I’m back after a busy couple of weeks. I assure you, however, that the tardiness of this commentary has nothing to do with the virus going around… but it’s the hottest thing since the east coast power blackout!!! Which means it’s not hot at all, but it sounded so good I’ll say it again…

THE HOTTEST MOTHERFUCKING THING SINCE THE EAST COAST POWER BLACKOUT!!!

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