Author: dtm666

I ramble about things.

RAW (May 8th, 2006) – Ruh Is Bure

So yeah… I’m watching RAW right now and… good god, this show sucks.

Let’s have the so-called hardcore match that was heavily hyped feature 80% promo and 20% lame beatdown. BRILLIANT IDEA!

Let’s have Foley turning heel by having him and Edge beat on Tommy Dreamer, a guy who, other than a PPV last year, hasn’t wrestled a full-time schedule since 2002. BRILLIANT IDEA!

Let’s have a 5-on-2 handicap main event match with absolutely nothing happening. BRILLIANT IDEA!

On top of that, let’s NOT mention Joey Styles, who gave such a great promo last week that for one brief second, I almost thought I was watching another wrestling program instead of the usual sports-entertainment drivel that I’ve being widely ignoring. BRILLIANT IDEA!

I mean, come on, guys. You’re not even applying the usual half-assed effort here. And bringing back Jim Ross isn’t doing much for me. There is nothing remotely appealing or good about tonight’s broadcast and that’s sad because of the hype jobs you’ve been doing for a couple matches that could have been great masterpieces but ended up being lame TV matches nobody gives a shit about.

Not exactly an encouraging notion for me to watch the shows now that I’m home in the evenings.

On the bright side, I got some story done and slipped in a movie review. All of these items will see the light of day soon enough. But for now, I’m calling it a night because I’m tired and have to go to work [study].

Now there’s a BRILLIANT IDEA right there! Better get to it so the ratings might go up.

Later.

The New Star Trek Movie… from the guy who brought you Felicity

JJ Abrams, creator of such hit shows like Lost, Alias, and even that Felicity show, is going to produce and possibly direct the next Star Trek movie. Thing is this movie isn’t coming out for another year (or more), no concrete details as to its plot has leaked, and yet people are thinking it’s gonna be about young Kirk and young Spock blah blah blah…

People either love the idea or they hate it. Either they love the prospect of these guys back on screen in a fresh new light or they only want the older guys back replaying their roles one final time. My thoughts are pretty clean cut. Who cares about young Kirk? Who cares about young Spock? Who cares about these characters coming back for one last hurrah only to get disappointed even further by their final outing?

Yes, these guys are iconic characters, but it’s time to move on. Shatner’s doing just fine… and so is Nimoy. They’ve seemed to move on, why can’t everyone else? Kirk’s death may seem retarded to some people, but then again, it’s the passing of the torch. His time has come and pass… it’s time for a new gen to continue onward.

This has been a useless post.

Star Wars Original Original Trilogy Coming To DVD

On this May The 4th (B Wit U… twit), this bombshell announcement from the starwars.com:

Fans can look forward to a September filled with classic Star Wars nostalgia, led by the premiere of LEGO Star Wars II: The Original Trilogy video game and the long-awaited DVD release of the original theatrical incarnations of the classic Star Wars trilogy.

In response to overwhelming demand, Lucasfilm Ltd. and Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment will release attractively priced individual two-disc releases of Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. Each release includes the 2004 digitally remastered version of the movie and, as bonus material, the theatrical edition of the film. That means you’ll be able to enjoy Star Wars as it first appeared in 1977, Empire in 1980, and Jedi in 1983.

See the title crawl to “Star Wars” before it was known as “Episode IV”; see the pioneering, if dated, motion control model work on the attack on the Death Star; groove to Lapti Nek or the Ewok Celebration song like you did when you were a kid; and yes, see Han Solo shoot first.

This release will only be available for a limited time: from September 12th to December 31st. International release will follow on or about the same day. Each original theatrical version will feature Dolby 2.0 Surround sound, close-captioning, and subtitles in English, French and Spanish for their U.S. release. International sound and subtitling vary by territory.

“Over the years, a truly countless number of fans have told us that they would love to see and own the original version that they remember experiencing in theaters,” said Jim Ward, President of LucasArts and Senior Vice President of Lucasfilm Ltd. “We returned to the Lucasfilm Archives to search exhaustively for source material that could be presented on DVD. This is something that we’re very excited to be able to give to fans in response to their continuing enthusiasm for Star Wars. Topping it off with a new interactive adventure makes September 12 a red-letter day for Star Wars fans.”

No witty comment from me today.

RAW (May 1st, 2006) – Screw It… Here’s Joey Styles’ Promo Transcript

So last night, I watch RAW and I see Joey Styles tells it like it is. For those who missed it, here’s a transcript courtesy of SLAM! Sports:

“You want to apologize? Like nothing happened. Like you didn’t knock me on my ass in front of millions of people worldwide, and I’m gonna come down there and work with you. I’m not coming back, and now thanks to the magic of live television I’m gonna show the whole world, why for seven years in ECW I was the unscripted, uncensored, loose cannon of commentary.

“Six months ago, WWE called me, I didn’t call this company because I was looking for a job. I didn’t need a job. WWE called me because they had humiliated and fired… again, Jim Ross. So I get JR’s spot, and from week one, week after week I’ve got an ongoing lecture about the differences in professional wrestling and sports entertainment. I’m not allowed to say ‘pro wrestling’, I’m not allowed to say ‘wrestler’. I have to say ‘sports entertainment’ and refer to the wrestlers as ‘superstars’. I’m told to deliberately ignore the moves and the holds during the matches so I can tell stories. Well ignoring the moves and the holds is damn insulting to the athletes, the ‘wrestlers’, not the entertainers who leave their families three hundred days a year to ply their craft in that ring.

“Here’s the best part, because I’m not a sports entertainment storyteller I get pulled from Wrestlemania, and the reason I’m given is, is because I don’t sound like Jim Ross who’s the guy they fired in the first place. That makes sense, right?

“So I swallow the bitter pill, I’m a company guy. I get bumped from Wrestlemania. Then I get bumped from Backlash? I’m not good enough to call Backlash!? In ECW, I called live pay-per-views on my own, solo, no color commentators dragging me down. Wasn’t done before me, hasn’t been done since. But I’m not good enough to call Backlash because I’m not a sports entertainment storyteller.

“Well you know what? I am sick of sports entertainment. I am sick of male cheerleaders. I am sick of boogers and bathroom humor and semen and I am sick of our chairman, who likes to talk about his own semen, he mocks God… he mocks God!!!!! And makes out with the divas all to feed his own insatiable ego. I am sick of sports entertainment, and most of all I am sick of you fans who actually buy into that crap! This sports entertainment circus! I never needed this job, and I don’t want this job anymore. I quit!”

And so we return you to your regularly scheduled bingo hall life.

Later.

COMIC REVIEW – Justice League: The Nail (1998)

(2025 Update: The original version of this review erroneously stated this miniseries was published in 2004, when, in fact, it was Justice League: Another Nail – the sequel to this series from ’98 – that was published in 2004.)

Justice League: The Nail is an Elseworlds miniseries from 1998 that features an intriguing premise; the Kents runs over a nail that causes one of their tires to go flat, thus preventing them from discovering the Kryptonian rocket carrying its last son and negating Superman. The idea of a Justice League without a Superman of any kind is somewhat interesting and there’s a way to go about it that makes it compelling stuff.

And at first, it seems somewhat promising. A world where metahumans and vigilantism are viewed upon far less favorably than usual, the paths of various heroes, villains, and supporting players taking different turns ranging from drastic to not so far from the beaten path, and just an otherwise darker slant on the narrative of the DC Universe. I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t a part of me that wanted to see this initial set-up go beyond the mere three-issue prestige miniseries format.

Unfortunately, by the time you get to the climatic finale in the last issue, the central premise of the book is basically undone and things somewhat take a turn towards the standard fare. I’m sorry if that comes off as a bit spoiler-y – not that it would matter since we already have a sequel mini whose covers spoiled the whole thing anyway – but sadly, once The Nail introduces another central character late in the game, it all becomes clear how this ends up going.

It’s a bit of a shame because The Nail is a really good story up to that point and Alan Davis’s art only compliments the narrative; a vibrant, colorful visual presentation with classical depictions of these heroes contrasting the less-than-cheery world they live in. If not for the final moments of the story, this could’ve been an interesting take on the lore.

As it is, it’s still a really good story and probably one of the better Elseworlds stories I’ve read, but it could’ve been so much more if it had stuck the course.

DOA Movie Trailer

Originally posted on November 24th 2005:

Someone had managed to get a copy of the teaser trailer for the Dead or Alive movie, based on the series of fighting games featuring big-boobed women. All I can say is… WTF Indeed!

Just a few minutes ago, I caught a glimpse of the teaser for the movie again. Of course, now that I’ve shed my DOA virginity, I can comment on it a little more clearly… it’s still gonna suck and I don’t need any experience other than the game’s bouncing boobs to see that. Not that it doesn’t follow the game story or anything, but it just looks like a poor man’s Charlie’s Angels… with worse actors.

Another bit of info I recently realized as I researched this thing: Kevin Nash plays Bass Armstrong here, the pro-wrestler daddy to Tina, one of the bouncing-boobs in the game. If the two ever collide in the movie, Tina doesn’t have to worry because Nash will probably tear a quad trying to act.

If you don’t get the reference, it’s a wrestling thing.

So I’ve said it before: WTF indeed.

On a sidenote, apparently people are disappointed that Silent Hill is a subpar movie despite the kick-ass trailer. Welcome to the wonderful world of media hype.

Later, kids.

RAW (Apr. 17th, 2006) – I Don’t Even Know

So yeah, the recent episode of RAW has left me offended. No, it’s not due to the Photoshop pictures of McMahon in famous religious works of art (although to be honest, I don’t think they’re trying anymore). Nor is it the starting up of his own religion (which will last for a few weeks when people realize there won’t be a martyr involved to legitimize the whole thing – nice try, Vince, but if your bodybuilding fed and your football league went down the crapper, a new religion isn’t going to be any more successful.) So what offended me on RAW?

The cheap pyro-effects… because if God doesn’t give you a sign, you make one up. Unfortunately, the effects used were so un-God like. If you really wanted God-like effects, I would dare you to blow up the ring (not shoot a few bolts and have it collapse… I mean have it really EXPLODE!). But you won’t do that and for that… well, actually, that’d be really, really stupid. So good on the sane folks who opted not to do this.

Besides that piece of business… gee, I don’t know. That’s probably the only thing that was noteworthy about that last RAW. It’s not a terrible show or anything, but really nothing that memorable… which would make it a bad show, right?

Right?

Okay, I did my completely random rant of the morning.