Author: dtm666

I ramble about things.

Classic Bite Commentary #100 – August 5th, 2010

It’s been a good couple months since my last Bite commentary, where I experimented with the wonderful world of audio/video format. It feels so refreshing to shoot my thoughts on audio and just ramble for 15-20 minutes on a variety of stuff. I’ll probably do another one in the near future, but for now, I’ve got a bunch of stuff to talk about… after the break.

Continue reading “Classic Bite Commentary #100 – August 5th, 2010”

Hulk Hogan: The Next Billy Mays?

According to this article, Hulk Hogan is going back to be a TV pitchman and is aiming to be the next Billy Mays, who was the TV pitch-king until his untimely death in June 2009. Hogan used to do some commercials for Right Guard and the like many moons ago. And he did do an infomercial for his grill a while back.

You know what? I’m about the furthest thing from being a Hulkamaniac as you can get. I honestly don’t care for Hulk Hogan as far as his wrestling and acting careers go… but he could be a great pitchman actually. The next Billy Mays? I doubt it; Mays had that intense energy and charisma that made his informercials exciting and energetic. I doubt Hogan will be able to achieve that level, but he’s got the charisma to be almost as good and maybe make a name for himself in the field.

It’s worth a shot… if he sticks with it. And if he does, I wish him all the best.

RAW (July 27th, 2010) – Not Much Of A RAW Deal

So in a strange move for some reason (probably some overseas tour), WWE taped two Monday Night RAWs for the price of one – the show that aired last night followed by the show that will air next week. I’m going to wait until next week’s show to comment on it, but one thing I’ll mention is that Bret Hart (the crippled guy on John Cena’s little army) is apparently “training in Calgary” according to Michael Cole and will miss both shows. Training in Calgary accurately translate to Bret getting married over the weekend and presumably having a honeymoon of sorts. All snark aside, congratulations to Bret for his recent marriage.

Won’t go through the whole show because… well, in true fashion, I only saw the parts that remotely interested me. I’ll just comment on the bits I did see.

Continue reading “RAW (July 27th, 2010) – Not Much Of A RAW Deal”

This ECW One Night Stand Is Going To Suck, Isn’t It?

Man… oh man… oh man… oh man… This is going to be painful.

So TNA is going rebrand their upcoming Hard Justice PPV as Hardcore Justice: The Last Stand and will serve as their version of an ECW One Night Stand PPV similar to what was done back in 2005. Apparently, Tommy Dreamer has full control over what happens and there’s presently an effort to recruit former ECW talent (that is not presently employed by WWE or serving 90-day no-compete clauses as a result of being future endeavored) to attend this One Night Stand PPV that is supposed to be the return of “Extreme” Wrestling and a celebration of the ECW legacy… or something.

May I ask why?

Continue reading “This ECW One Night Stand Is Going To Suck, Isn’t It?”

COMIC REVIEW – Animal Man: Flesh And Blood (1992)

My brother dug through some old comics and came across several issues of the old Animal Man series. For those unfamiliar, I’ll use a passage from some guy’s review of an Animal Man TPB:

Buddy Baker is a man who can absorb powers from nearby animals temporarily – for example, in rescuing a cat from a tree at the start of the first chapter, he falls off a branch, absorbs the cat’s agility, and twists like a feline to land on his feet. Living with his wife (Ellen) and kids (Cliff and Maxine), Buddy feels that something is missing from his life – he needs to become…Animal Man once again.

Sounds like intriguing stuff, right? Well, back to my story, my brother pulls out a bunch of Animal Man issues (#51-56 I believe) that collectively form a story-arc called Flesh and Blood. Without spoiling much, the story depicts Buddy Baker/Animal Man attempting to come back to life after basically being run over by a truck.

At first, I thought the death itself was okay, but looking back on it, it seems rather unremarkable. Perhaps that’s the intent of it all; that this superhero that isn’t widely known gets offed by being run over by roadkill. But while the death scene seems more like an afterthought, it’s the resurrection process that is the main focus of the latter chapters, as Buddy takes on the life essences of various animals from a bat to lice until eventually retaining human form. This is one of those few comic book stories that actually got me hooked until the end.

If you’re into this kind of stuff, fetch this set of Animal Man issues. I’m not sure if there’s a collected edition of this story, but there should be. It’s good stuff.

RAW (July 19th, 2010) – Nexus vs. Cena, Five Spares, and an Old Cripple – YOUR MAIN EVENT AT SUMMERSLAM!

If there was a more definite definition of a sports-entertainment program serving as background noise, then you need not look further than tonight’s edition of RAW. Man, oh man, nothing of note remotely happened that caused me to pay attention. However, it wasn’t entirely and completely pointless and without merit. So without further to do, here’re some thoughts;

– So far, we have a couple matches for Summerslam. First off, your WWE Champion, Sheamus, will be defending the title against Randy Orton, who won a Triple-Threat match featuring Edge and Chris Jericho to earn the shot. So glad that we have Sheamus as champion so that we can have fresh, new and exciting main-events like him vs. Randy Orton… oh wait, they had a match? At the Royal Rumble this year? Oops, silly me.

– Secondly, as teased by the title, it’ll be a fourteen-man tag-team contest featuring the stable group Nexus against the team of John Cena, R-Truth, Edge, Chris Jericho, John Morrison, Great Khali… and Bret Hart. Wow. Right there, that’s already a 6-on-7 handicap match… Didn’t Bret allegedly have insurance issues that resulted in him being “fired” or something? Wouldn’t mind seeing how this turns out… won’t necessarily make me buy the PPV or anything, but who knows?

– By the way, loving the Miz right now. Part of me almost wished that he DID cash in that MiTB and won the title. At least the title match for Summerslam would have been somewhat fresh. In any case, I’ve got a feeling Miz is gonna be champ sooner than later.

And that’s all there is to it. I was too busy playing 1941 for the rest of it.

Later.

A Message From The Livid Gamer

WARNING: The following is a written mockery based on a previous blog post… which is based on comments by a friend of a popular angry nerd or something. Though there is some mockery, there is some truth in regards to… certain stuff. Without further to do, I give the floor to the LIVID GAMER.

*cue the Livid Gamer theme song, if he had one*

Hey, guys. Livid Gamer here with an important announcement.

People have said that I “nuked the fridge” with the Chu Chu Train episode. And yet, Zero episodes later, I’m still here, you goobers. Some non-episodes will be weaker than others… but that’s what you have to do to ‘ceed; keep on sucking.
As for the random character portrayed by my best buddy being annoying, that’s one character where it really was intended to be annoying but ends up being as stupid and pointless as all the other random non-characters in my program. So if he annoyed you, good. I’m glad he annoyed you. His goal was to annoy you and tune you away from my products. When you’re playing a game, and the game fucks up, that means the game sucks and you should feed it to your game shredder or toss it to your fireplace. Enjoy that fresh chemical odor that will inhabit your humble abode for years to come.
Anyway, if you want to see something REALLY annoying, you can watch me jump around like an asshole as the cowardly lion… or Bugs Bunny… or a Jewish skeleton who celebrates Christmas. I mean, I hear it all the time. You don’t like the live action characters; they all act the same; they’re out of character. We get it.
Guess what?
WE DON’T GIVE A SHITLOAD

OF FUCK WHAT YOU THINK!

There’s going to be more characters. They’re all going to act the same and be totally inaccurate to the original portrayal. When we do more Bugs Bunny games, we will have him act less like the classic character we remember and more like some fuckhead who has played a whole bunch of characters the same way, essentially becoming a non-character. Get over it. If you want pure game reviews, go make your own and see how exciting that gets after about twenty of them, even though pure game reviews have been around FOREVER and provide a formal. I sound like a broken record claiming that the angry reviewer style is a revolutionary new way of reviewing games when it’s just a means to cover up the fact that you suck at reviewing.
And just to cover my ass so that people don’t immediately think we don’t care what the fans think (and honestly, we don’t because the fans will like any shit we throw at them – just look at the Glitchy Bunny episode I tossed to gether on VaporTube.):
Sometimes I find it fun to add in guest characters like Spider-Man (but we call him Spiderman because we hate hyphens,) Ninja Gaiden (who has a real name, but I can’t be bothered to do the research,) and whatnot. We have a lot of fun shooting those episodes because we love taking these classic characters and turn them into pseudo-Nerd clones that act NOTHING like their mainstream interpretation, essentially turning them into non-characters.
Sure, some works better than other, like the time we had our guitar guy play as himself but swearing more often and acting like a Nerd instead of a unique character. But just because some fans don’t like the guest non-characters, doesn’t mean we’re going to stop using them. We’re not going to change our work method of a few complaints and so when you see a new character, he’s going act the same way as before – like the fucking angry reviewer – BECAUSE THAT’S CREATIVITY AT ITS FINEST!!!
So when I said “We don’t care what you think”, that does not mean we don’t care about the fans – you know, the mindless sheep that will like anything we throw at them, even if it’s pure shit. We love the fans. But we don’t care what they think if they don’t like our stuff.
The series is not ending. I may exert some non-effort, but this series isn’t ending any time soon.
That is all. Maybe this will appear in FOX NEWS or something.
I’m so LIVID.