So WWE put up the recent edition of Saturday Night’s Main Event on Youtube for those of us outside of the U.S. who lack the ability to watch this thing on Peacock… even though up here in Canada, we do indeed have NBC to watch this shit. Is this even on Netflix? Anyway, I gave it a watch… the show was mostly commercials, which was “absolute cinema” as the lame kids call it. And indeed, while you folks had commercials, we had a blank screen. It was truly riveting… almost as riveting as these bullriding events that are also on the WWE channel.
I realize it’s a TKO thing and all, but if I were subscribed to WWE on Youtube, I’d be wondering why the fuck am I getting videos about a sport I don’t care about? It’s bad enough that these people are deluded enough to think that the WWE/MMA crossover appeal is wider than it actually is – which is virtually nonexistent – but now who is going to watch RAW and think, “Gee whiz, you know what’d be cool? CM Punk vs. Drew McIntyre in a bull riding contest.” Unless one of the bulls almost kicks one of those guys in the head and they retaliate with a Terry Funk-esque promo, there’s no appeal to this shit, folks.
Anyway, regardless of my quibbles, I saw most of the show… which was just there. Joe Tessitore and Jesse Ventura welcomed us to the show, ran down a bit of the card, and passed it on our regular announce team of Michael Cole and that fucking idiot Pat McAfee… who can go fuck himself.
Anyway, we have an opening tag match that saw Seth Rollins and Bron Breakker defeating CM Punk and Sami Zayn with an assist from Bronson Reed, who gave Punk nine concussions and a broken finger through a barricade while Bron speared Sami for the win. I like how Seth is supposed to be the head of this big bad faction, yet he still has his fucking stupid song that people hum to because people are fucking stupid. Other than that, what I’ve seen of the match was just fine.
U.S. Champion Zelina Vega defeated Chelsea Green despite interference from Green’s entourage (I’m not calling them whatever stupid name they’re using) to retain the title. Again, commercials killed this one, but from what I’ve seen, the match was just fine. Nice to see Vega some time on screen and some fruits for her labors… also, Chelsea is fine too.
17-Time WWE Champion John Cena defeated R-Truth with a kick to the balls to retain the title… and since this is dumb-as-shit R-Truth who thinks Cena is a childhood hero, he dresses up as Cena and does the whole entrance and shit… I’m sure some people find this funny and all, but this is kinda lame. And the match itself was… just there. If Cena’s mission was to ruin wrestling, he’s doing a fine enough job of it so far because this heel run has been the shits… oh yeah, and people are cheering for Cena despite the fact that he’s a heel. You people have wanted Cena to do a heel turn for years and now you’re CHEERING the fucker? Go fuck yourselves, you dumb fucks.
Damien Priest defeated Drew McIntyre in a steel cage match that was pretty good. The ending of Priest hitting Drew with a con-chair-to and walking out the cage to win the match was kind of a lame ending that keeps the door open… and then out comes Jesse Ventura to point out his incredulity over Priest just walking out on the match. Sometimes, I miss someone who doesn’t put up with this sort of shit on commentary.
World Champion Jey Uso defeated Logan Paul to retain the title… truth be told, I skipped most of the match because I genuinely don’t want to sit through a Logan Paul match, but as I was fast-forwarding, I saw John Cena beat up the Uso for a bit before Cody Rhodes made his big return, CrossRhoded Cena, dodged a punch from Paul, and then bow out so that Uso can spear and splash Paul to win the match. And then the challenge by Cody is made for a tag match at Money In The Bank between Cody/Jey and Cena/Paul… oh boy, am I SOOOO looking forward to that one.
Okay, I’m lying.
dtm666 