Well, it’s the first World Wrestling Entertainment PPV after the World Wide Fund For Nature sent their legal pandas against the former World Wrestling Federation and took back its WWF initials, so now we’ve got WWE. And while that brand would be synonymous with the premier brand in sports entertainment, back in the day, it was off to a rocky start, especially since the Hulk Hogan nostalgia run was over and done with.
So in our previous PPV outing, Hollywood Hulk Hogan defeated McSon-In-Law to win his sixth WWF/E Championship while Undertaker defeated Stone Cold Steve Austin to earn himself the next PPV shot at the title.
Intercontinental Champion Eddie Guerrero defeated Rob Van Dam via backslide with feet on the ropes for leverage to retain the title. Yes, Eddie CHEATED TO WIN… because that’s his whole schtick.
Women’s Champion Trish Stratus (who beat JAZZ in between PPVs, I guess?) defeated Stacy Keibler in a mercifully short match to retain the title… but who cares about that? We need to see Bubba Ray and Reverend D’Von get into a spat before Deacon Dave shows up to dump Bubba through a table. So, yes, once upon a time, WWE had the “brilliant” foresight to split up the Dudley Boyz and turn D’Von into a reverend as well as give him a busboy in the form of Dave Batista, who started his WWE run carrying a box. Eventually, the Dudleys were reunited and Batista would do his own thing… to the benefit of all parties involved.
Brock Lesnar & Paul Heyman defeated The Hardys in a short match. The Hardys made the smart choice of taking out Brock early because TWO is a bigger number than ONE… but eventually Brock gets back in there, hits one of the Hardys with an F5 and Heyman goes for the pin. Brock then moves on to bigger and better things.
Stone Cold Steve Austin defeated Ric Flair and FUCKING BIG SHOW in a handicap match that saw Austin KICK WHAM STUNNER Flair for the pin… and in case anyone hasn’t been clued in, FUCKING BIG SHOW is the latest member to join WWE’s version of nWo… hey, you know what? On the one hand, you guys lost Scott Hall and you need a replacement, so why not someone who has been there before? On the other hand, it’s FUCKING BIG SHOW. Meanwhile, Flair turned heel on Austin at some point and even aligned himself with the nWo… but is not actually part of the nWo… I know that WWE has an aversion to adopting too many WCW ideas, but if Flair were to align himself with a group, wouldn’t he want to form a new Horsemen stable instead? Or are we saving that for McSon-In-Law? Granted, you’d get a similar deal in the form of Evolution later down the road, but that doesn’t explain the logic hole in Flair siding with the nWo, even though months earlier, he was opposed to their being brought into the promotion in the first place.
I am trying to understand the context of this Flair/nWo alliance because it’s far easier than trying to understand the logic of booking your BIGGEST DRAW of the late-90s – the man responsible for turning around your company’s fortunes and saving it from the verge of bankruptcy – in a nothing happening, absolutely pointless midcard feud. Look, I wasn’t thrilled when Austin bailed a couple weeks after this show and it’s no secret that his head wasn’t in the right place at the time, but this was your top draw for years and despite the misfire of a heel turn in 2001, the man deserved MUCH BETTER than what you were giving him. Say what you will about how Austin handled his disdain for creative around this time – and I’ve said my bit on this plenty at the time and since – but when you look at the absolute dreck they were feeding him at the time, it’s not only hard to blame the guy for feeling the way he did, but I almost felt SORRY for him.
Honestly, if more people did what Austin did back then, maybe… JUST MAYBE… it would have sent a message that needed to be sent, but never was.
Or is that just wishful thinking on my part?
Edge defeated Kurt Angle in another fine match… though I enjoyed their Backlash match a little more. More importantly, however, Kurt Angle got a haircut, which would debut the fake wig and wrestling headgear that he’d stick with for a month or so before eventually giving in and accepting his new baldness… which, truth be told, is a GOOD move for him. Kurt with hair… feels weird to me.
HHH defeated Chris Jericho in a Hell In A Cell match where they fought inside the Cell for a bit before eventually getting out and climbing up to the top of the cell so that McSon-In-Law could pedigree Jericho and pin him on top of the Cell… so I guess if you’re floating over the ring, it’s technically in the ring… fine, whatever. This match was fine. I’ve seen past HHH/Jericho matches that were “better”, but then again, I’ve also seen worse and one of them was the Wrestlemania main event.
Rikishi and Mystery Partner defeated World Tag-Team Champions Billy & Chuck to win the titles. Mystery Partner turns out to be Rico, who is Billy & Chuck’s usual manager who I guess turned on Billy & Chuck, but it turns out to be a swerve and so Rico doesn’t tag in, but at some point, he kicks Billy (or Chuck… does it really matter?) in the balls and that allows Rikishi to get the win and the titles. I want to say that “hey, at least it was short”, but honestly, this match wasn’t short enough. It sure was shit, though.
Oh wait, before we get the main event, we get the payoff to the whole Edge/Angle chase bits that eventually sees Angle shaved. Edge tries to get a YOU’RE BALD chant going, but the crowd wisely decides to stick with YOU SUCK. One of the few times where the wrestling audience actually shows a modicum of intelligence; it doesn’t happen often, but when it does, it’s to be applauded.
Undertaker (who debuted new music on this show because WWE was no longer willing to pay Limp Bizkit) defeated WWE Undisputed Champion Hollywood Hulk Hogan to win the title. To ‘Taker’s credit, he would hold onto the title for a couple months before dropping it to the Rock so that he could eventually drop the belt to that young upstart Brock Lesnar, but it doesn’t paint a pretty picture where we unify the two top titles in wrestling to crown a new undisputed champion who’s supposed to be treated like a big deal… and by the time we reach Summerslam, we’ve had SIX undisputed champions. Brock Lesnar would be the final “undisputed” champion as he would be made exclusive to Smackdown (before then, the champion would appear on both shows) and thus they’d bring back the Big Gold Belt on RAW to give to McSon-In-Law and thus no need to relive THAT piece of business.
But yeah, this match… it sucks, naturally. Hogan was barely mobile and Undertaker clearly didn’t give a shit. He stunk up the joint and didn’t care. I know that people aren’t going to believe this because Undertaker is often a beloved legend with a long and storied career, but there was a time when he was just another old fart stinking up the main event scene and pretty much doing whatever he could to make sure there wouldn’t be any new stars to take over the reigns. And at a time when this company DESPERATELY needed new blood in the main event scene, especially when your CURRENT main event scene is sucking eggs, the last thing you want is more main event sucking eggs. Hey, remember the last company that had a main event scene that sucked eggs? You ought to remember – you bought them out the previous year.
I’m kinda, sorta, split on this show. On the one hand, there’s a couple good matches on here; Eddie/RVD 2 is excellent, Edge/Angle is less so but still good, and I’ll even give the Cell match a nod. Everything else on this show is either forgettable or hot fucking garbage. I don’t know… I’d call this one “meh” and move on.
And move on, we shall. If you want further WWE 2002 adventures, you can find those elsewhere on the blog. I’m done with that shit. Next week, it’s back to WCW… what? You thought I was going to get myself hyped for John Cena vs R-Truth? Perish the thought.
dtm666 