For some reason, I felt like watch WCW Battlebowl 1993 – a show that I have on DVD-R because I had recorded off the WWE Network back when it was a channel on TV in Canada. I never got around to watching this one and it sort of languished in the archives until recently… and so here we are.
Anyway, WCW Battlebowl was a thing that they did one time and never did again. The idea of Battlebowl had existed previously in prior Starrcade PPVs, but this was the first and only time that WCW had expanded the idea into its own PPV. And there’s a good reason for that.
So the idea behind Battlebowl is that random names are drawn in a Lethal Lottery deal, where you have a preliminary series of tag-team matches to see how gets to advance to the titular Battlebowl portion of the program, which is a glorified battle royale.
First match sees “random” tag-team combination Cactus Jack and WCW World Champion Vader – both of whom had a DEATH MATCH for the title at Halloween Havoc some time prior – defeating the “random” team of Stevie Ray (under the name of KANE) and some goof named Charlie Norris to advance to the Bowl. Not a great match and not a good start… which is not a good sales pitch for this concept show.
Johnny B. Badd & Nasty Boy Brian Knobs defeated Neglected Horseman Paul Roma & Erik Watts to advance to the bowl portion of the program… and again, another not good match to continue burying this concept show.
Another random pairing of rivals here as Lord Steven Regal and Ricky Steamboat are teamed up against the duo of Mr. Wonderful Paul Orndorff and… THE SHOCKMASTER. What a career path for Mr. Wonderful – from Wrestlemania I main eventer to teaming with Fred Ottman in a hardhat playing a clumsy oaf. And of course, Regal/Steamboat come out on top because of course, they do. This match is almost worth for the interactions between Ottman and Regal, whose reactions to being around this imbecile (don’t look at me – that’s the guy’s gimmick!) wouldn’t be matched until he was paired up with Tajiri in WWE. Otherwise… eh.
King Kong (no, not that one) & Dustin Rhodes defeated Awesome Kong (no, not that one, either) and The Equalizer… this was a thing that happened and at least the Kongs got paid. That’s as far as I’ll go with this one.
Sting & Nasty Boy Jerry Sags defeated Ron Simmons & Keith Cole to advance in this thing… and Ron Simmons is such a good sportsman that he beat up his partner after the match. This would apparently be Ron Simmons’ last WCW appearance… and this was ALSO a thing that happened and at least everyone got paid.
Stunning Steve Austin & Ric Flair defeated Maxx Payne & 2 Cold Scorpio in what was actually a pretty good match. One of the few times that a random pairing actually worked out – but considering that pairing is Stunning Steve and the Nature Boy, that shouldn’t be much of a surprise. Scorpio, as always, is a solid worker and even Maxx Payne – the guy who would eventually play a WWF-shaped guitar and put out a trailer for a documentary that never saw the light of day – kept up his end of the bargain. Finally, half way through the show, we actually have a decent tag match out of this stupid concept.
Ravishing Rick Rude & Shanghai Pierce defeated Marcus Alexander Bagwell & Tex Slazenger in a match that is beneath Rick Rude’s paygrade… but then again, I could say that for a lot of guys stuck in this practically nothing-happening concept show that it’s no wonder why there isn’t a Battlebowl ’94. That’s a large problem with this show – the concept of tag teams being tossed together and thrown into the fire just like that sounds fascinating on paper, but in execution, it’s the drizzling shits.
Road Warrior Hawk & Rip Rogers (the ………DIVE guy) defeated Davey Boy Smith & Booker T (a.k.a. KOLE) in another boring-ass tag match… why did I choose to watch this show, exactly?
And then we get to the Battlebowl Battle Royal with all the winners of the various Tag-teams tossed together in a battle royal that is eventually won by Big Van Vader… who happens to be the reigning WCW World Heavyweight Champion. And what did Vader win for his efforts? Fuck knows. This was a thing that happened to fill a PPV slot or something.
According to heresay, the idea was that SID was supposed to win this thing and challenge Vader for the title at Starrcade, but then Sid found some scissors and went art-and-craft on Arn Anderson, which forced WCW to fire Sid and have Flair challenge for the title instead… which makes me wonder why Flair didn’t just win the Battlebowl thing here to earn himself a future title shot. I think I put more thought into the booking of this concept than the monkeys at WCW did at the time.
No bones about it… this show sucked. There was one match at most that I’d classify as GOOD and the rest were either boring or just awful. And the battle royal is just another battle royal. Nothing to get excited about.
So, yes, we’re in a dire mood coming out of this show, but fortunately, that’s not going to last. In case you didn’t get the memo, WWE started up a WCW Youtube channel last month where you can watch a bunch of old Nitros, Thunders, and even PPVs. And guess what we’re watching next week?
I’m not quite sure, myself, but… hey, they got Spring Stampede 94 on there?
Gotta go, kids.
Later.
dtm666 