Well, some twelve hours after the Ramblemania post went up, you’re getting the RAW After Mania musings, because that’s also a thing we do around here. Also, this is Night Four of the Buy One Get One Free All You Can Eat Extravaganza that’s set to conclude tomorrow with NXT, which I will not be watching.
Anyway, I’ll save the proper show musings for after the break to avoid spoiling days-old programming for those who haven’t seen it yet. Though, for what it’s worth, just watch Night 2 and wait until they upload the main event of Night 1 to Youtube.
The show opens with a John Cena promo that ends with an RKO, which means that John Cena’s first WWE title defense is going to be against Randy Orton for the 173,836,726,127th time. The last time these two had a match was back in 2017. We could held off a little while longer, but whatever, we need to have Randy lose in his hometown at the next PPV or something after his hard-fought battle against TNA World Champion Joe Hendry…
Go away, Joe. You’ve had your five minutes of fame.
One night after winning the tag titles, Becky Lynch, who made her return to WWE and replaced Bay Ley as Lyra Valkyrie’s tag partner, turned on said tag partner during a rematch that allowed former champs Liv Morgan and Raquel Rodriguez to win back their titles. Well, so much for that, I suppose.
After five long years of being mired in AEW purgatory and almost three of them having me ask “Where the fuck is Miro,” RUSEV makes his grand return to beat up the Alpha Academy. Well, good for him. Hopefully, he gets a good run this time around instead of languishing before not being used and we’re left to ask “Where the fuck is Rusev?” I’m done with that shit, bro.
Women’s Champion IYO SKY came out to celebrate her successful title defense, only to be interrupted by NXT Women’s Champion Stephanie Vaquer, who showed respect and then challenged SKY to a match, who accepted. This is the first time both women have faced off against each other and it was a good match while it lasted before Roxanne Perez did the run in for the DQ. Oh well.
Highlight of the Night: GUNTHER, pissed about losing the title, beat up Michael Cole and choked out Pat McAfee. People were booing this, but anyone who puts that fucking shithead McAfee out of his misery is a goddamned babyface in my book. Good job, GUNTHER. And fuck Pat McAfee.
Just to clarify: it’s okay to feel bad for Michael Cole getting choked out. The man was just doing his job and didn’t deserve such barbarism. Pat McAfee, on the other hand, got off easy. Fuck that guy.
Seth Rollins and Paul Heyman came out for the closing promo, CM Punk came out to get killed, and then Roman Reigns came out to get speared by Bron Breakkkkeerrrr, who is apparently the newest member of Seth and Heyman’s social club. Good for Bron, I suppose. It’s something that brings up a level or two and maybe this could help him out a bit in that regard. And please, no slow burn with this one, please. When the time comes to pull the trigger, PULL THE GODDAMNED TRIGGER.
All in all, a perfectly fine, if not overlong, edition of RAW. Dare I say, I enjoyed this show more than I enjoyed both nights of Wrestlemania… but not enough that I want to watch 3-hour RAWs on a regular basis, because I ain’t doing that shit anymore.
And fuck Pat McAfee.
dtm666 