Continuing the compilation of the updated Ramblemania postings that originally graced both the old DTM Blog and the main blog.
WRESTLEMANIA XII
Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, CA
March 31, 1996
When someone brings up Wrestlemania 12, chances are the only thing people can recall about that show is the hour-long Iron Man match between Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels. And that would be totally justified because the better part of Wrestlemania 12 is pretty forgettable for the most part.
Wrestlemania 12 lacked celebrity stars of any kind. Some would argue that the WWF wanted to showcase the talent themselves rather than have any outside influence, but I would think that no celebrity wanted to be a part of Wrestlemania or be associated with the company after they witnessed a string of mostly terrible television shows. The PPVs didn’t necessarily fare all that better, especially when it came to Diesel defending his world title against guys like Sid or King Mabel, resulting in some really mediocre matches even by those days’ standards. All things considered, if Nash had been given credible opponents who could work, his reign wouldn’t have been a chore to sit through… but what would I know? I wasn’t watching at the time.
Wrestlemania 12 was about the 60-minute Iron Man match between Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels… the very same match that made Shawn’s career and marked the beginning of Bret’s downward spiral. The Iron Man match, for me personally, hasn’t held up all that well. Despite some of the quality wrestling and athletics on display here, the sad truth is that nothing happens in this match worthy of merit and I often find myself fast-forwarding just to see if anything is going to happen. And while it’s still a good match, each time I watch it, I find myself getting more bored and the match loses quite a bit of its luster as a result. Besides, the only other significance of this match is that it set the stage for a year and a half’s worth of real life drama that would culminate in Survivor Series 1997… and we know what happened there.
Perhaps this is why I’ve warmed up to the undercard a bit in recent years. I hadn’t considered it all that great years ago, but watching it again, the handful of matches on display did provide some decent matches… even if they weren’t anything special. I guess if you wanted to check out Steve Austin’s first ‘Mania match or the Ultimate Warrior’s squashing of a young HHH, then this would be worth it. Even Undertaker/Diesel was surprisingly good. Go figure.
Results
Vader, Owen Hart, and Davey Smith defeated Jake Roberts, Yokozuna, and Ahmed Johnson (12:51) when Vader pinned Roberts
Hollywood Backlot Brawl: Roddy Piper and Goldust battled in the first half of the “Hollywood backlot brawl.” This was a pre-taped segment. A live segment ended after the seventh bout
Steve Austin pinned Savio Vega (10:00)
Ultimate Warrior pinned Hunter Hearst Helmsley (1:36)
The Undertaker pinned Diesel (16:46)
World Heavyweight Title Match (Ironman Match): Shawn Michaels pinned Bret Hart (1:01.52) in an “ironman” match to win the title.
-o-
WRESTLEMANIA 13
Rosemount Horizon, Chicago, IL
March 23, 1997
The year is 1997. After a long period of trailing the WWF, Turner-owned promotion World Championship Wrestling had garnered the number one spot in wrestling with their red-hot nWo angle that has done nothing but kill the WWF in the ratings. It wasn’t a secret that the WWF was really hurting during this time and while some would claim that the WWF product was much better than what WCW was offering, you certainly couldn’t tell when the WWF produced shows like Wrestlemania 13, which is a show that was pretty substandard in terms of PPV standards and certainly downright abysmal by Wrestlemania standards. And while one would be hard-press to call this a worse Wrestlemania outing than Wrestlemania IX or Wrestlemania XV, the simple truth of the matter is by the thirteen iteration, the spectacle and pageantry that Wrestlemania once commanded was long gone.
Lacking celebrities and the sense of grandeur that had been enjoyed years prior, Wrestlemania 13 was a show that was, for intents and purposes, nothing special. For a PPV that was supposed to be a showcase of the immortals, one glance at the card would one confusing this for a In Your House PPV event of lesser stature. And even by that comparison, this was an overly weak card. Mind you, it’s not all bad; the Chicago Street Fight is a fun little brawl if nothing else, and the tag title match was a solid affair to planted the seeds for a dissention that never came… but then you had matches like the four-corners tag match featuring four teams you didn’t care a lick about and a WWF Championship match between Sid and Undertaker that would put a snooze of a match that some people reportedly still haven’t awaken from their sleep.
And yet for all the dull and lackluster offerings, Wrestlemania 13 had but one shining moment; the now infamous submission match between Bret “Hitman” Hart and Stone Cold Steve Austin, considered by many to be one of the greatest, if not THE, greatest Wrestlemania match of all time. Yes, it does get a bit graphic. Yes, it does get a bit brutal… but at the end of the day, it told a very simple story of two guys who hated each other so much they were willing to put it all on the line and it was a match of such brilliance that it was able to pull off a double turn with relative ease, making the once-beloved Hart into a hated villain while turning the once-despised Austin into the sort of anti-hero that would plant to seeds to his nearing success.
If this had been a 3-hour television special, it would have been fine, perhaps adequate. But as a PPV, it was lackluster. As a Wrestlemania, it was depressing. It isn’t a totally hopeful event, but one not exactly worthy of the name. Fortunately, things would get better the following event.
Results
Four Corners Tag Team Match: The Headbangers (Mosh and Thrasher) defeated The New Blackjacks (Bradshaw and Windham), The Godwinns (Phinneaus and Henry), and Phil Lafon & Doug Furnas (10:39) in a “four corners” match.
Intercontinental Heavyweight Title Match: Rocky Maivia pinned the Sultan (9:45) to retain the Intercontinental title
Hunter Hearst Helmsley pinned Goldust (14:28)
World Tag Team Title Match: Owen Hart and Davey Smith fought to a Double Count Out with Vader and Mankind (16:08). Owen Hart and Davey Smith retain the tag team titles
Submission Match: Bret Hart defeated Steve Austin (22:05) in a “submission” match. Ken Shamrock was the guest referee
Chicago Street Fight Match: The Legion of Doom (Hawk and Animal) and Ahmed Johnson defeated Nation of Domination (Farooq, Crush, and Savio Vega) (10:45) in a “Chicago street fight” when Animal pinned Crush
World Heavyweight Title Match: The Undertaker pinned Sycho Sid (21:19) to win the title.
-o-
Wrestlemania XIV
FleetCenter, Boston, MA
March 29, 1998
WWF Wrestlemania XIV was the show that got me sold as a wrestling fan and began a long, fruitful investment that is still enjoyed to this day. While I had dabbled in the realm of sports entertainment prior as a spectator, this was the show that sold me on something to waste time and money on a regular basis. For this reason alone, it’s perhaps my favorite ‘Mania and the one I’ll rewatch most often.
Some time after Survivor Series 97 and the whole screwjob deal, things were starting to look up for the WWF and the stars must have been aligned because in a short time, the promotion would jumpstart its most profitable period. Mania XIV was the first step towards a new era and even as a standalone show, it was still a pretty sweet show. Austin/Michaels featuring Mike Tyson was a great main-event and what would have been the perfect swan song for HBK had he stayed retired (good thing he came and had an even better swan song with Taker at Mania 26), while Taker/Kane was a good ol’ brawl that worked nicely. There’s nothing really bad about the show; I mean, even the worst of the show was still watchable and you can’t ask for more than that. In fact, it’s more than what you get these days.
A definite improvement over Wrestlemania 13’s meager efforts.
Results
Tag Team Battle Royal: LOD 2000 (Hawk and Aniaml) won a “tag team battle royal” (8:19)
World Light-Heavyweight Title Match: Taka Michinoku pinned Aguila (5:57) to retain the title
European Heavyweight Title Match: Hunter Hearst Helmsley pinned Owen Hart (11:29) to retain the title
Mixed Tag Team Match: Marc Mero and Sable defeated Goldust and Luna (9:11) when Sable pinned Luna
Intercontinental Heavyweight Title Match: Rocky Maivia defeated Ken Shamrock (4:49) by Disqualification. Rocky Maivia retains the Intercontinental Title
World Tag Team Title Match (Dumpster Match): Terry Funk and Cactus Jack defeated The New Age Outlaws (Billy Gunn and Jesse James) (10:01) in a “dumpster” match to win the tag team titles. However, the belts were held-up due to a technicality
The Undertaker pinned Kane (16:58)
World Heavyweight Title Match: Steve Austin pinned Shawn Michaels (20:02) to win the title. Mike Tyson was the special referee.
-o-
Wrestlemania XV
First Union Center, Philly, PE
March 28, 1999
Last year, Wrestlemania kicked off a period that would be the most profitable period in the WWF’s history, the Attitude era. It also kicked off a bunch of controversy in relation to pushing the envelope, but it got the job done in promoting the promotion as a fast-paced, edgy product that WCW could never pull off. While the storylines on WWF television made little sense at time, it helped that the writing and action was a tad better and more intense than what was being offered on WCW, who were merely content showing off the same stars that made them famous and not making any conscious effort to make any new stars. Because of this, along with the incredible Austin/McMahon rivalry that dominated WWF television among other factors, the WWF was able to change its fortunes and reclaim its spot as the top wrestling promotion in North America.
A year after Wrestlemania XIV, which was an awesome in itself, we got Wrestlemania XV. And if there was any show that served as the very epitome of “Russorific”… THIS would be it.
I’ve once said that Wrestlemania XV is like the village idiot: filled with such stupid shit and yet you can’t help but laugh at its plight or pleasure. Watching recently, it’s painfully clear that this show has aged terribly over the years and the stuff that’s been floating around here is pretty wretched. Mania’s first Hell In A Cell match featured a hanging that was disturbing (whereas a hanging would be greatly welcomed at THIS year’s Cell match), a wrestler who got lucky in a boxing tournament got his lights knocked out by Butterbean, Pete Rose got tombstoned by Kane once again, and on top of all that, we had Nicole Bass… whose manly physique would give Chyna a run for her money… or something.
If there was any saving grace, it was Rock/Austin. A good main event with a satisfying finish even with all the bullshit taking place. But their Backlash encounter the following month would be a much better affair.
Where to, Stephanie? To the scrapheap!
This was during the height of the Attitude era, back when Vince on TV as a despicable asshole was pure genius and not a tiresome attempt at past glory… but that didn’t excuse the number of stupid ideas scattered here. Like I said before, this show hasn’t aged well and is pretty unbearable to watch.
RESULTS
World Hardcore Title Match (Triangle Match): Bob Holly defeated Al Snow and Billy Gunn (7:06) in a “hardcore triangle” match to win the WWF Hardcore Title
World Tag Team Title Match: Owen Hart and Jeff Jarrett defeated D-Lo Brown and Test (3:58) when Jarrett pinned Brown to retain the tag team titles
Brawl for All Match: Butterbean Knocks Out Bart Gunn (0:35 – 1st Rnd) in a “brawl for all” match
Mankind defeated Paul Wight (6:50) by Disqualification
Intercontinental Heavyweight Title Match (Four Corners Match): Jesse James defeated Goldust, Ken Shamrock, and Val Venis (9:47) in a “four corners’ match.
Kane defeated Hunter Hearst Helmsley (11:33) by Disqualification
World Womens’ Title Match: Sable pinned Tori (5:06) to retain the title
European Heavyweight Title Match: Shane McMahon pinned X-Pac (8:41) to retain the title
Hell in a Cell Match: The Undertaker pinned Big Boss Man (9:46)
World Heavyweight Title Match: Steve Austin pinned Rocky Maivia (16:52) to win the title.
-o-
Wrestlemania 2000 (or 16)
Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, CA
April 2, 2000
The triangle ladder match for the tag-team belts was the precursor to TLC matches, which have died a slow, painless death in past years as high-risk, daredevil tactics are replaced with a slower-pace style that suits the heavyweights more and serves to kill the cruiserweights, although the last couple TLCs did turn out alright, but I digress.
There was a couple of other matches here worth watching, but I hated the main event, which was a 4-way title bout. I had always believed (and still do, actually) that a ‘Mania title match should be a one-on-one affair, not only to legitimize the Royal Rumble as a stepping stone to a title bout, but also to give it that special element of a big time main event. As a pay-per-view alone, it’s not as weak as people make it out to be. In fact, it’s a pretty good show for a regular PPV. But this is Wrestlemania, where higher standards were expected and weren’t achieved as a result. Still, I enjoyed it despite the lack of singles matches.
RESULTS
Big Boss Man and Bull Buchanan defeated The Godfather and D’Lo Brown (9:08)
Hardcore Holly wins the battle royal to win the Hardcore title.
T&A (Test and Prince Albert) defeated Al Snow and Steve Blackman (7:04)
Triangle Ladder Match for the WWF Tag-Team Championships: Edge and Christian defeated The Dudley Boys (D-Von and Buh-Buh Ray Dudley) and The Hardy Boyz (Jeff and Matt Hardy) (23:30) to win the tag team titles.
Cat Fight Match: Terri Runnels defeated The Kat (2:24) in a “cat fight” match
Six-Man Tag Team Match: Chyna and Too Cool (Scott Taylor and Brian Christopher) defeated The Radicals (Eddy Guerrero, Perry Saturn, and Dean Malenko) (9:38)
Intercontinental Title and European Heavyweight Title Match (Three Way Match, Best Two out of Three Falls): Chris Benoit defeated Kurt Angle and Chris Jericho to win the Intercontinental Title when Benoit pinned Jericho in the first fall (8:13). Chris Jericho defeated Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit to win the European Title when Jericho pinned Benoit (13:52)
Kane and Rikishi Phatu defeated X-Pac and Jesse James (4:00) when Kane pinned X-Pac
Fatal Four Way Elimination Match for the WWF Championship: Hunter Hearst Helmsley defeated Rocky Maivia, Mick Foley, and The Big Show to retain the title.
-o-
Wrestlemania X-Seven
Astrodome, Houston, TX
April 1, 2001
Some people have often cited Wrestlemania X-Seven as one of the greatest wrestling events of all time, and while I am hardly in a position to agree or disagree with that claim, it is perhaps one of the finest wrestling events that I have bore witness to and it is a show that holds up extremely over a decade later. Wrestlemania X-Seven brought the event back to the big arenas, ran at roughly four hours, and brought about some of the finest wrestling action to come around at that time.
There were several quality outings on this show. Opening with a pretty solid Intercontinental title match between Chris Jericho and William Regal, fans were treated to an Angle/Benoit wrestling clinic, the TLC II flip-flop tag-title match, a pretty decent HHH/Taker match that didn’t suck (as opposed to their encounter at WM27… which kinda did suck), and of course, Austin vs Rock II and its twist ending. The gimmick battle royal was also a high point; a nice way of bringing back some old (and in some cases, really old) faces and giving them the spotlight on the grandest stage. An even greater idea was to make Iron Sheik win the damn thing… but unfortunately, this was years before he began ranting about making people humble, putting him the camel clutch, break his back, and then… well, you know the rest.
In retrospect, Wrestlemania X-Seven remains one of the greatest Wrestlemania cards of all time, with a incredible line-up of matches and just an enjoyable show to boot. The only thing that this show doesn’t do is reflect the changing face of the wrestling landscape in 2001; with the acquisition of WCW by WWF a week prior, it would have been interesting to see something happen on the show to kick off the long-awaited dream encounter between the two promotions… it would have been nice, at least.
RESULTS
Intercontinental Heavyweight Title Match: Chris Jericho pinned Steven Regal (7:40) to retain the title
Right to Censor (The Goodfather, Bull Buchanan, and Val Venis) defeated Tazz and The Acolytes (Bradshaw and Faarooq) (3:56) when Bradshaw pinned Goodfather
World Hardcore Title Match (Three-way Match): Kane defeated The Big Show and Raven (9:28) when Kane pinned Big Show to win the title
European Heavyweight Title Match: Eddie Guerrero pinned Test (8:32) to win the title
Kurt Angle defeated Chris Benoit (14:10)
World Women’s Title Match: Chyna pinned Ivory (2:38) to win the title
Street Fight Match: Shane McMahon pinned Vince McMahon (14:11) in a “street fight” match
World Tag Team Title Match (Tables, Ladders, and Chairs II Match): Edge and Christian defeated The Dudley Boyz (D-Von and Buh-Buh Ray) and The Hardy Boyz (Jeff and Matt Hardy) (15:50) in a “Tables, Ladders, and Chairs II” match to win the tag team titles
Gimmick Battle Royal: Iron Shiek won a battle royal at (3:50). Other participants included: Bushwhacker Luke, Bushwhacker Butch, Duke Droese, Doink the Clown, Nikolai Volkoff, Tugboat, Earthquake, Gobbledy Gooker, Hillbilly Jim, Brother Love, Sgt. Slaughter, Michael Hayes, One Man Gang, Kamala, Jim Cornette, and The Goon
The Undertaker pinned Triple H (18:27)
World Heavyweight Title Match (No Disqualification Match): Steve Austin pinned The Rock to win the title (28:08)
-o-
Wrestlemania X-8
Skydome, Toronto, ON
March 17, 2002
The year was 2002. The year prior, the World Wrestling Federation had acquired all assets of World Championship Wrestling, along with the contracts of a handful of WCW talent. Although they got notable WCW stars such as Diamond Dallas Page and reigning WCW World champion Booker T, they didn’t get any of the really “big” stars who were under contract with Time Warner, such as Ric Flair, Scott Steiner, Goldberg… and guys like Hollywood Hulk Hogan and Kevin Nash.
Roughly a year after anyone would have cared, the original nWo (Hogan, Hall, and Nash) were brought in to spread poison throughout the WWF. Unlike in WCW, where the nWo damn near ran the company to the ground – both in storylines and in real life – the rogue organization was put down as quickly as the Brooklyn Brawler. Stone Cold Steve Austin scored a victory over Scott Hall in an undercard match (something that didn’t please Austin and would be one of many factors that would result from his brief hiatus from WWE in a couple months), while the Rock defeated Hollywood Hulk Hogan (and got booed in the process) in a match that can only be described as… yet another Hogan match, except he did the job this time around. Something he doesn’t do all that often.
Years later, the awe of such a “dream match” would wear off and that’s my view on the match. Plus, it would be the first of many “dream matches” that would do less money than it should have… But I digress. This show is a fairly solid one and while not as good as 17, it still has its moments. Face it, just the awe of watching Rock fighting Hogan (and actually winning cleanly) gives that fuzzy feeling that most real sports could never replicate.
And if there was anything that could be described as miraculous, the WWF did in a month with Rock/Hogan what WWE isn’t doing with Rock/Cena this year; give me a reason to care about this match.
RESULTS
Intercontinental Heavyweight Title Match: Rob Van Dam pinned William Regal (9:39) to win the title
European Heavyweight Title Match: Diamond Dallas Page pinned Christian to (9:16) retain the title
World Hardcore Title Match: Spike Dudley pinned Maven (5:05) to win the title. The match was originally, Goldust vs. Maven. Thanks to the 24/7 Hardcore Title Defense Rule
World Hardcore Title Match: Hurricane Helms pinned Spike Dudley (3:00) to win the title
Kurt Angle pinned Kane (16:14)
No Disqualification Match: The Undertaker pinned Ric Flair 28:20 in a “No Disqualification” match
Edge pinned Booker T. (9:45)
World Hardcore Title Match: Mighty Molly pinned Hurricane Helms to win the title
Steve Austin pinned Scott Hall (15:26)
World Tag Team Title Match (Four-Corners Elimination Match): Chuck Palumbo and Billy Gunn defeated The Hardy Boyz (Jeff and Matt Hardy), The Dudley Boyz (Buh-Buh Ray and D-Von), and The Acolytes (Faarrooq and Bradshaw) (22:16) in a four-way match to retain the tag team titles. D-Von pinned Faarooq. Jeff Hardy pinned Buh-Buh Ray Dudley (19:00). Chuck Palumbo pinned Jeff Hardy (22:16)
World Hardcore Title Match: Christian pinned Mighty Molly
The Rock pinned Hulk Hogan (26:57)
Women’s World Title Match: Jazz defeated Trish Stratus and Lita (9:00) in a “three-way” match to retain the title when Jazz pinned Lita
Undisputed WWF Heavyweight Title Match: Triple H pinned Chris Jericho (29:34) to win the Undisputed World Title.
-o-
Wrestlemania XIX
Safeco Field, Seattle, WA
March 30, 2003
Rather than a short commentary, I thought I repost the WM19 Picks that I did back in 2003 and add a quick final thought towards the end.
Wrestlemania XIX, the showcase of the immortals… but how many people will actually buy the Pay-Per-View? With ratings in the shitter going into this thing, WM19 had better deliver on that slogan in order to merit replays. Anyways, let’s check out my decisions:
Kane & Rob Van Dam vs. Queef Morley and Lance Storm for the RAW World Tag-Team Titles (only on Sunday Night Heat)
I feel bad for Kane and RVD not being on Mania… and Lance Storm. In either case, then, it’s time we’ve had new tag champs that brings integrity back to the tag-team titles.
RESULT: Rob Van Dam and Kane didn’t win the tag titles. Unfortunately, it wasn’t much of a loss. I’d say I was wrong on that count, but since it was a Heat match, it doesn’t count. So screw you, Heat! HA!
AShanti sings America The Beautiful
By the way, did Vince get anyone to sing America the Beautiful at Wrestlemania X-7? What’s that you say? There weren’t any decent Grammy Award winners then? Oh okay. I mean seriously, this newfound patriotism of Vince McMahon is scaring me. I’m quite surprised, considered what’s going on in the world, that he didn’t have Kurt Angle reveal he’s actually an Iraqi sympathizer like Sgt. Slaughter did back in 91 with the Gulf War… then again, didn’t that ‘Mania suck ass too?
Undertaker and Nathan Jones vs. A-Train & Big Show
One match into Wrestlemania predictions and we’re already getting a match that contradicts the ever-present slogan. It would have to be Taker and Jones getting the win, because it is Jones’ first match and there’s that stupid streak of Undertaker’s to worry about.
RESULT: As if it was bad enough having to give Undertaker a win at a Wrestlemania match, it’s downright depressing that he had to win it in a last-minute HANDICAP match, when Nathan Jones was “attacked” backstage. What a crock of shit, but I was right, so… 1-0
Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels
Last time Shawn competed at Wrestlemania, Stone Cold retired his wimpy ass. Now Shawn is a born-again Christian and going to Wrestlemania, the Lord will back me up on this statement when I say Chris Jericho will retire HBK’s religious ass and become the new showstoppa!
RESULT: HBK wins… but still a quality outing. 1-1
Trish Stratus vs. Jazz vs. Victoria for the WWE World Women’s Championship
If you haven’t read my comments on the Bite of March 27th, here’s exactly what I said: Another lame-ass women’s match that I don’t particularly care about unless it’s something degrading. I’m not shitting you, the only reason women would have matches in the Attitude era were so they could strip each other or take a quick dip in the mud or some other half-assed stipulation to feed the male’s hormonal desires. Perhaps if the women had regular matches, I would be more inclined to care… but sorry. Therefore, I don’t think it’s worth my time making a prediction for this match.
RESULT: If I didn’t care enough to make a prediction back when I wrote this, I sure as hell am not going to care now.
Team Angle vs. Chris Benoit/Rhyno vs. Los Guerreros for the WWE Smackdown World Tag-Team Titles
The more popular choice around predictors seems to be Benoit & Rhyno. However, I would every much be inclined to pick Los Guerreros… hey, what can I say? How about this: if you’re not cheatin’ you’re not tryin’! VIVA LA RAZA!!… oh forget it.
RESULT: Team Angle, consisted of Shelton Benjamin (current RAW superstar and former IC champ) and Charlie Haas (former WWE wrestler), won the match… 1-2
Matt Hardy vs. Rey Misterio for the WWE Cruiserweight Title
Wow. A guy who is a cruivyweight (not exactly heavyweight, not exactly cruiserweight) against a guy who supposedly wants nothing to do with cruiserweight titles… this should be a message to Bill Goldberg who, according to scrupulous articles on the ‘Net, is now part of the WWE family. From what I understand, Goldberg went out made a list of who he will and will not job to. Remember, Rey didn’t want to be a cruiserweight title contender. See how long that lasted.
Oh yeah… Mattitude reigns supreme over 6-1-9.
RESULT: Mattitude reigned supreme over 6-1-9. Those days are long gone. 2-2
Triple H vs. Booker T for the RAW World Heavyweight Championship
Heh Heh Heh Heh Heh Heh Heh… Booker wins or I stick with TNA.
RESULT: Booker lost… 2-3. Even worst, I stuck with WWE. 2-4
The Rock vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin… again
Stone Cold! Stone Cold! Nuff said…
RESULT: Rocky! Rocky! Nuff said… 2-5
Vince McMahon vs. Hulk Hogan
The stipulation is that if Hogan loses, he should retire. Then again, Hogan is going to win anyway. The general consensus to this match is simple: Hogan vs. McMahon is the opening match on the card. McMahon walks down the aisle, gloating that he’s going to kill Hulkamania. Hogan’s crappy Real American hits and Hogan starts posing and calling people brother as he rants about killing McMahon. Four hours later, Hulk finally reaches the stage after posing for everyone backstage. Once the bell rings, the show ends.
RESULT: Hogan wins once again… 3-5.
Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle
This is quite obvious.
RESULT: Lesnar Wins. 4-5
2003 PRE-SHOW OBSERVATIONS
This year’s ‘Mania looks to be a pretty solid card… except Taker/Jones vs. Fat Slugs O’ Shit… or the Women’s Match… or the Old-Timers’ Match… or the big slug/broken neck wrestler match… or Rock/Austin too many to count match… dang, this is quite depressing…
2012 REFLECTIONS
While I had my misgivings on XIX before the show, I seem to recall enjoying the show for the most part. Watching it recently, Wrestlemania XIX certainly feels like a pretty solid show for the most part and I didn’t find myself fast-forwarding through a whole lot of stuff… maybe the catfight thing that cost Lance Storm his Mania moment, but aside from that, the show wasn’t that bad actually. Austin had his last hurrah, Brock nearly broke his neck winning the title, Vince took one for the team, and even Matt Hardy had his moment in his match with Rey. All in all, pretty good show.
-o-
WRESTLEMANIA XX
Madison Square Garden, New York, NY
March 14, 2004
You know, it’s kind of difficult to actually discuss the card, because of its main event match and the end which followed. At the time, it was such a touching and emotional scene to see two guys, who had been deemed too small and too vanilla to main event, not only be in main events at the grandest stage of all, but also come out of the event as World Champions. It is an ending that speaks greatly to the hard work and effort of both men involved and it is an ending that, for the time, evoked that feel-good moment and brought more tangeable credibility to the oft-repeated cliche, “Anything can happen.”
And then Eddie Guerrero died in 2005. And then Chris Benoit murdered his whole family before committing suicide in 2007.
When I watch that ending, I’m not thinking about how touching and fulfilling it is to see these two guys finally making. Instead, I’m thinking of how they went from this high point to their eventual unfortunate demise. I keep thinking about the brief period of Eddie-sploitation that took place weeks after the guy’s death and capped it off with an insulting Rey Mysterio title reign where he was made to look weak at every conceivable turn. I keep thinking about the Benoit tragedies that has WWE on a quest to eliminate every piece of Benoit from their history banks to the point where most official sources deem the match between Kane and Undertaker as the main event of Wrestlemania XX – a real tragedy given that match kinda, sorta SUCKED. I’m not the overly sensitive type – I can watch a Benoit match and separate the wrestler from the man who commited these heinous acts – but I can’t watch the ending of Wrestlemania XX because what was once a nice feel-good moment has become a depressing feel-bad moment because you already know what became of these guys… and it’s not pretty.
The chore of sitting through the two World Title matches nowadays (if you’re the sensitive type – I personally can enjoy the matches and they’re still amazing matches, which makes it more of a tragedy) is compounded by the chore of sitting through a Pay-Per-View event that lasted way too long and offered very little bang for the buck. I remember watching the show live with my brother and I recall the show being so long and so drawn out that my brother fell asleep when we were watching this one (can’t say I blame him). The match between Brock Lesnar and Bill Goldberg was an interesting experiment in fan reaction, watching the audience in general just shitting all over the match since they knew well in advance that both guys were leaving. In fact, the only times the crowd popped during the match was when it was over and when Stone Cold gave both guys stunners. This was a pervertedly fun match for those reasons alone and it would be interesting to see if Cena/Rock will elicit a similar reaction.
For the most part, I feel as though this was a pretty underwhelming card. A shame really, since they had the chance and the opportunity to really push this show into something meaningful and worthwhile like they did with No. 10. Then again, perhaps it felt underwhelming because it was just too damn long. Nobody can sit through an almost five hour PPV affair, but with the almighty FF button, the show tends to be good.
Ultimately, in light of the whole Benoit family tragedy, this show’s main event (and the Backlash 2004 rematch which follows) tends to be difficult to watch nowadays for most people. However, if you can somehow put aside your feelings on the man and what he has done, you’ll find this to be a fine show worthy of the name Wrestlemania. Just be sure to have that fast-forward button handy; that eases the pain somewhat.
Results
United States Heavyweight Title Match: John Cena pinned The Big Show (9:13) to win the title
World Tag Team Title Match (Fatal Four-Way Match): Rob Van Dam and Booker T. defeated La Resistance (Renee Dupree and Rob Conway), Mark Jindrak and Garrison Cade, and The Dudley Boyz (Buh-Buh Ray and D-Von Dudley) in a “Fatal Four-Way” match (7:55) to retain the tag team titles when Van Dam pinned Conway
Christian pinned Chris Jericho (14:56)
Handicap Match: Evolution (Ric Flair, Batista, and Randy Orton) defeated Rock and Sock Connection (Mick Foley and The Rock) (17:09) in a “Handicap” match when Orton pinned Foley
SmackDown! vs. RAW Playboy Evening Gown Match: Torrie Wilson and Sable (SmackDown!) defeated Jackie Gayda and Stacy Keibler (RAW) in a “Playboy Evening Gown” match (2:41) when Torrie pinned Jackie
WWE Cruiserweight Title Match (Cruiserweight Open Match): Chavo Guerrero defeated Ultimo Dragon, Sho Funaki, Shannon Moore, Jamie Noble, Billy Kidman, Rey Misterio, Yoshihiro Tajiri, and Nunzio (10:38) in a “Cruiserweight Open” match to retain the title. Ultimo Dragon pinned Shannon Moore (1:18). Jamie Noble pinned Ultimo Dragon. Jamie Noble pinned Sho Funaki. Jamie Noble defeated Nunzio by Count Out (4:15). Billy Kidman pinned Jamie Noble (6:08). Rey Misterio pinned Billy Kidman (7:35). Rey Misterio pinned Yoshihiro Tajiri (8:38). Chavo Guerrero pinned Rey Misterio (10:38) to retain the title
SmackDown! vs. RAW Match: Bill Goldberg (RAW) pinned Brock Lesnar (SmackDown!) (13:48). Steve Austin was the special referee…
WWE Tag Team Title Match (Fatal Four-Way Match): Rikishi and Scotty Too Hotty defeated The Basham Brothers (Doug and Danny Basham), World’s Greatest Tag Team (Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas), and The APA (Farrooq and Bradshaw) in a “Fatal Four-Way” match (6:05) to retain the tag team titles when Rikishi pinned Danny Basham
WWE Women’s World Title Match: Victoria pinned Molly Holly (4:56) to retain the title. After the match, Molly Holly had her head shaved
WWE Heavyweight Title Match: Eddie Guerrero pinned Kurt Angle (21:30) to retain the title
The Undertaker pinned Kane (6:56)
World Heavyweight Title Match (Triple Threat Match): Chris Benoit defeated Triple H and Shawn Michaels in a “Triple Threat” match (24:07) to win the title when Benoit made Triple H submit.
-o-
WRESTLEMANIA 21
Staples Center, Los Angeles, CA
April 3, 2005
If there’s anything memorable about this iteration, it’s the movie trailers that aired prior to that. Those were pretty funny. Other than that, this was your standard fare at four hours – two new champs who made it through the rest of 2005 with their titles intact before losing them in 2006. In terms of establishing new main-event talent, this show did just that and is what a promotion is supposed to be doing on a fairly regular basis. This is a fairly entertaining show for the most part, but the selling point for the DVD was the trailers and Hall of Fame presentation. Good stuff.
RESULTS
Rey Misterio pinned Eddie Guerrero (12:00)
Money in the Bank (Ladder) Match: Edge defeated Shelton Benjamin, Edge, Christian, Chris Jericho, and Kane (15:10) in a “Money in the Bank Ladder” match
The Undertaker pinned Randy Orton (14:06)
Women’s World Title Match: Trish Stratus pinned Christy Hemme (4:40) to retain the title
Kurt Angle defeated Shawn Michaels (27:16) by submission
Sumo Wrestling Match: Akebono defeated The Big Show (3:00) in a “Sumo” match
WWE Title Match: John Cena pinned John Bradshaw Leyfield (11:18) to win the title
World Heavyweight Title Match: Batista pinned Triple H (21:32) to win the title.
-o-
WRESTLEMANIA 22
AllState Arena, Rosemount, IL
April 2, 2006
This was a show that pretty much had everything going against it due to a subpar card and a high price tag. Despite these drawbacks, Wrestlemania 22 ended up being an enjoyable PPV with a few good matches, but nothing particularly memorable or even remotely interesting happened here. It doesn’t really feel like a Wrestlemania event as much as it felt like a 4-hour overpriced low-tier PPV. We could try to forget the Rey Mysterio World Title win (or as I like to call it, the Rey Mysterio Charity Win That Never Would Have Happened If Eddie Guerrero Hadn’t Died) in addition to the ridiculous costumes sported by the main eventers of the night.
RESULTS
World Tag Team Title Match: Kane and The Big Show defeated Carlito Carribean Cool and Chris Masters (6:00) when Kane pinned Carlito to retain the tag team titles
Money in the Bank Ladder Match (RAW vs. SmackDown! Match): Rob Van Dam (RAW) defeated Matt Hardy (SmackDown!), Shelton Benjamin (RAW), Fit Finlay (SmackDown!), Bobby Lashley (SmackDown!), and Ric Flair (RAW) (12:00) in a “Money in the Bank Ladder” match
United States Heavyweight Title Match: John Bradshaw Leyfield pinned Chris Benoit (9:00) to win the title
Hardcore Falls Count Anywhere Match: Edge pinned Mick Foley (15:00) in a “Hardcore Falls Count Anywhere” match
The Boogeyman pinned Booker T. (5:00)
Women’s World Title Match: Mickie James pinned Trish Stratus (9:00) to win the title
Casket Match: The Undertaker defeated Mark Henry (9:00) in a “Casket” match
No Holds Barred Match: Shawn Michaels pinned Vince McMahon (18:00) in a “No Holds Barred” match
World Heavyweight Title Match (Three Way Match): Rey Misterio defeated Kurt Angle and Randy Orton (9:00) in a “Three Way” match to win the title
Diva Playboy Pillow Fight Match: Torrie Wilson defeated Candice Michelle (4:00)
WWE Title Match: John Cena defeated Triple H (21:00) via submission to retain the title.
-o-
Wrestlemania 23
Ford Field, Detroit, MI
April 1, 2007
The obvious main draw of this show was the supposed “Battle of the Billionaires” between Vince McMahon and Donald Trump. If they really wanted to be honest, they would have called it Trump Vs. McMahon: the Battle of the Billionaire and the Less-Than-Billionaire. The match, between IC champion Umaga and ECW champion Bobby Lashley, sucked teh lemons, but seeing Trump shave away McMahon’s hair and getting Stone Cold Stunnered as a result are highlights of the show and quite possibly the only things I remember overall.
I’ve sort of been finicky over my impressions of Mania 23. Twenty years after the most important PPV in wrestling history (and adknowledging this fact with Arethra Franklin singing, as she did in that earlier event), there was no way they were going to live up to the aura and majestry that is Wrestlemania III and to even ATTEMPT such a lofty goal would have been foolish. Mania 23 is not Mania 3 – perish the thought – but it’s still a very good show, with two top-notch World title matches on the card and a rather entertaining Money In The Bank match.
It wasn’t solid gold by any means, but it was still a solid effort on WWE’s part and one of the more memorable Wrestlemania events in recent memory. Certainly better than the most recent iterations would be.
RESULTS
Money in the Bank Ladder Match: Ken Kennedy (SmackDown!) defeated CM Punk (ECW), King Booker T. (SmackDown!), Fit Finlay (SmackDown!), Edge (RAW), Randy Orton (RAW), Matt Hardy (SmackDown!), and Jeff hardy (RAW) (19:10)
The Great Kahli (RAW) pinned Kane (SmackDown!) (5:32)
United States Heavyweight Title Match: Chris Benoit pinned Montel Vontavious Porter (9:20) to retain the title
World Heavyweight Title Match: The Undertaker pinned Batista (15:48) to win the title
ECW Originals (Rob Van Dam, Sabu, The Sandman, and Tommy Dreamer) defeated ECW New Breed (Elijah Burke, Kevin Thorn, Marcus Cor Von, and Matt Striker) (6:20) when Rob Van Dam pinned Striker
ECW World Champion, Bobby Lashley, (Representing Donald Trump) defeated RAW Intercontinental Champion, Umaga, (Representing Vince McMahon) (13:05) in an “Interpromotional Billionaire Hair vs. Hair” match
Women’s Title Match (LumberJill Match): RAW’s Melina pinned SmackDown!’s Ashley Massaro (3:07) in a “LumberJill” match to retain the title.
WWE Title Match: John Cena pinned Shawn Michaels (28:21) to retain the title.
-o-
Come back tomorrow for Ramblemanias 24-26. Should be a lot of pun.
dtm666 