Once again, another year comes to a close and an annual tradition at the Twisted Realms takes place; the dreaded Year In Review list. This list has me saying quite a bit for each of the winners, losers, and middle grounders of 2011. Perhaps moreso than any list prior. As such, there could be the possibility of being fewer entries than usual… then again, maybe not. Let’s get going…
THE YEAR’S WINNERS
Some good stuff has happened to or involving these particular targets during 2009.
CM PUNK
I like CM Punk’s work. His promos are top-notch stuff, his matches are fairly entertaining, and he has a unique look and presence that sets him apart from the rest of the bunch, all of whom seem to blend in rather easily. Unfortunately, CM Punk was always stuck at a certain point during his WWE run and was never allowed to run with the ball. One night in June changed all that when, Punk, one week after announcing that he would be leaving WWE with the champion, cut a promo with such brilliance, such truth, and such emotion that it did what nobody else in WWE or TNA had been able to do for years; make wrestling relevant. And while that relevancy lasted ever so briefly, CM Punk’s stock had certainly risen to the point where he now enjoys a second WWE Championship reign… and had enough stroke to convince Vince to fork up the cash for “Cult of Personality.” Kudos, Punk.
“MACHO MAN” RANDY SAVAGE
A great man was taken too soon when Randy Savage passed away from a massive heart attack in May. While it is a sad and tragic end to one of the greats in professional wrestling, Randy Savage’s passing came about painlessly and without suffering or scrutiny in the aftermath. His death has touched so many people that many have said words in his honor, from fans to legends such as Warrior. Even Vince McMahon, a man who has had a rather turbulent relationship with Savage in recent years, paid tribute with a video package and a short written message in Time Magazine. I also did a little video tribute to the man back in May and so do so once again by including him on this list of winners of 2011. Godspeed, Macho Man. This Slim Jim’s for you. Oooooohhhhh yeeeeeaaaahhhhHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
ADAM “EDGE” COPELAND
Even before the passing of the Macho Man, there was another individual to whom we had to say goodbye to… at least as an active competitor. Shortly after retaining the World Title against Alberto Del Rio at Wrestlemania XXVII (on the first match of the card, no less), Adam “Edge” Copeland had learned that he had suffered injuries so severe that he was forced to retire from in-ring action. This meant no more flash photography. No more live sex shows. No more missions against all things stupid. To a guy who lived the dream… thanks for the memories, dude. You shall be missed…
DC’S NEW 52
Somewhat of a risky proposition that DC attempted; relaunching their entire line of comics with the New 52. Some characters retain their histories (Batman, Green Lantern), while others are relaunched with new backstories (Superman being the most notable example). Although I haven’t gotten around to reading all of these New 52 books, I did read some of them… and some of them turned out pretty good. Action Comics is a good read, Scott Snyder’s Batman is good stuff, Green Lantern was pretty good, Swamp Thing was not bad for the couple issues I managed to catch, I’m really digging Batwoman… hell, even Batgirl with walking Barbara Gordon managed to keep me around so far. Sure, there are a few books I don’t care for, but for the most part, this New 52 thing turned out to be a good thing. No real complaints here… well, there’s one, but that’s for much later.
MORTAL KOMBAT
2011 was the year that Mortal Kombat returned to its former glory. Not only did it get a top-notch fighter that almost (but not quite) returned the franchise to its bloody 2D roots, but there was also a separate web series that was also pretty slick. All in all, just another day in Goro’s lair. At the very least, there won’t be another MK vs. DCU game in the works.
1UP GAMER
1UP Gamer, a guy known for his Back To The Futer reviews that amused me with its poor quality yet humorous narrative that seemed to override the rather lackluster review segment, posted his most recent review for an unlocalized NES game called Spy Vs. Spy II. The review itself was a major step up from his early work, not to mention the narrative was pretty enjoyable too. Recently, he posted a vlog of all the shit he bought… holy shit, I’m hooked. And the sad thing is that it took me thing long to subscribe to the bastard. There… let’s fix that.
JACK LAYTON
Another posthumous entry on the Winner’s List, the late Jack Layton was enjoying a ride of success after leading his New Democrat party to Opposition to Harper’s government – a feat that has landed him on this list. Whether you agreed with his policies and views or not, you had to admit that Mr. Layton had always brought a bit of showmanship and charisma to Canadian politics that has rarely been seen these days from other public figures. Not to mention that he always came off as a really nice guy that you’d want to have a drink or two with. There was only one Jack Layton and he shall be missed.
THE YEAR’S LOSERS
Quite a few losers this year…
WRESTLEMANIA XXVII
Anytime you watch a PPV event with a crowd, you’re bound to have a good time regardless of the actual quality of the event. However, with Wrestlemania XXVII, even a crowded room couldn’t save this show from being a colossal letdown in terms of value. While there were a couple of nice moments on the show (anything involving the Rock, I suppose), the show wasn’t all that good. It’s sad that the one match that I was looking forward to was bumped off the PPV in favor of Snooki, a boring HHH/Undertaker match that plodded at a snail’s pace, and a sad end to a main event that ended up being the launching point for the build to Mania 28’s main event of Cena/Rock. Wrestlemania 27 was a forgettable event… especially in hindsight when WWE would put out a normally-worthless PPV that ended up being one of the most hyped and dare I say BEST PPVs that company had put out.
And while we’re at it…
WWE IN GENERAL
It never ceases to amaze me how a company could come up with such a hot angle that could revitalize interest in their product and then somehow manage to fuck it up so quickly. It happened with the Nexus storyline last year and it once again happened with the supposed “Summer of Punk.” You had a guy who was catching on with the crowd and has managed to make your company and your form of entertainment actually fucking relevant to the masses beyond your short-sighted WWE universe, you had managed to make people hyped up for a show that usually means nothing, and on top of that, that PPV lived up to the hype with top-notch matches, solid wrestling, and a hot main event that ended the way it was supposed to. And you had a chance to take advantage of this newfound relevancy… and what do you do? You take the focus OFF the red-hot CM Punk and put it on insomnia-inducing HHH and his BFF Kevin Nash… and things went downhill from there. Sure, as of this writing, Punk is still champion and he’s still up there, but this was such an easy opportunity for WWE to make it big and they just fucking blew it. Just sad.
CHYNA
Made a brief return to wrestling by joining TNA… only to unwittingly terminate that relationship by doing a porno movie. She would cry several times about not getting noticed by either WWE or TNA, but right now, I think they don’t care for someone who went from first female Intercontinental champion to a pole dancer. And that’s all I’m going to say at this point.
THE NEW SUPERMAN
As much as I enjoyed the new Action Comics, I equally LOATHE the new Superman. Never mind the fact that he’s no longer married and that he seems less human due to the death of the Kents – I found him to be such a depressingly deplorable character that BATMAN comes off as a nicer guy in comparison. He seems almost broodish, the Harry Potter haircut is rather meh… I don’t know, I’m just not liking this interpretation of the Man of Steel and am already anticipating the next big “reboot” that will probably happen when the creative braintrust at DC get bored with this one… give it a couple years at most.
MOTHERFUCKER MIKE MATEI
Yeah, I’m sure some folks are going to be upset by Mike Matei’s inclusion on this list, but the truth is that I’ve had a hard time sitting through his series of Game Glitches videos. The idea is sound – albeit nothing new, as some glitches have been seen before elsewhere – but Mike’s on-screen performance and voiceover is just irritating and lacks that presence that makes you want to come back for more if you weren’t already a Cinemassacre supporter. Is it really necessary for him to act like Irate Gamer 2.0 during this videos? It’d be cool to see someone show off these glitches, but all I get from this series is a lite version of AVGN as portrayed by Mike Matei… and it’s not a pretty picture.
AVGN’S 100TH EPISODE (a.k.a. ROB THE ROBOT)
I could go into a whole spiel as to why this is worse than getting your testicles dipped in acid, but quite frankly, I already did that… and you can read it here. I can only hope that this AVGN movie is nowhere near as embarrassing as this tripe.
HAROLD CAMPING
Former Family Radio personality who had predicted the end of the world to arrive twice; first on May 21st… and when that failed, again on October 21st. Suffice it to say that neither of Mr. Camping’s predictions came true and thus he was forced to admit that he was wrong about discovering the means to pinpoint the exact time when the world would end. The really sad thing is that he could very well try the same shit again in a few years time and the ignorant fools will buy into his malarkey. Utterly sad.
THE MIDDLE GROUNDERS
Quite a few middle grounders here, for those who don’t fit either mold.
TNA
TNA started off 2011 with an abysmal Immortal storyline that made me not care. They then had a PPV main event featuring a stoned-out Jeff Hardy being in no condition to perform. And while they claimed that Wrestling Matter, the shows didn’t really reflect that tagline. However, after the Bound For Glory PPV, Impact slowly began to get a little bit better and did a better job in focusing on their own talent (instead of wasting time on folks like Chyna (who would rather do porn films and dance in strip bars than pursue a return to sports entertainment despite her claims to the contrary) in addition to placing a greater emphasis on the wrestling aspect of their product. 2011, for me, wasn’t a great year for TNA, but at the very least, they’re starting to build towards a hopefully better 2012… and that’s enough to keep them in the middle, if nothing else. Could this lead to a topic change? Let’s not go there, fella.
WONDER WOMAN
Biggest controversy came about when Wonder Woman was redesigned for JMS’s new Odyssey storyline. End result was that she gained pants and a jacket. Fortunately, the story was pretty good, but before we could get a chance to discover this new Diana beyond the initial storyline, the New 52 came along and changed Wonder Woman into something I don’t care for… oh yeah, did I mention her TV pilot was rejected? Yeah, lots of bad for Diana… but not enough to place her on the Loser’s list.
STAR WARS BLU-RAY
Star Wars just hit Blu-Ray… and as is traditional whenever it hits a new format, a number of changes were made to the series as a whole. Some people didn’t mind the changes, others were angry… I simply didn’t care because I don’t own Blu-Ray… so that’s why it’s in the middle pile.
And that’s it for 2011. Happy 2012, everyone. BANG! BANG!
dtm666 