So I had originally written the following piece of business as a script of sorts for a possible video review that is not going to come to fruition because… well, Channel Awesome fans are ravenous, spiteful people who will villify anyone who doesn’t treat their material as pure fucking genius… well, I assure you that I am more than to treat their “films” as pure fucking genius, as long as you understand that my use of the word “genius” does not necessarily mean the same thing that you would normally associate with the word.
Henceforth, I’ve decided to post the script here as is. Please excuse some of the typos and stuff; this wasn’t intended to be posted in text form, but since I’m not doing the video review (maybe some other substitute instead), might as well toss it on here. So enjoy.
Two things I want to get off my chest before I begin;
Before the conception of the review you’re about to watch, I had done a series of videos regarding Suburban Knights, where I had share my thoughts on the series based on a first viewing and I felt there was promise early on, but ultimately it crapped out in the middle and my comments on the middle portion had elicted a rather interesting conversation and even before then, when I brought up my uneasiness regarding the teaser. So after giving this miniseries a couple more views, from beginning to end as one piece instead of several – and also from my own personal copy on DVD-R… which means no ad revenue in their pockets – here’s my review of Suburban Knights, the 3rd Anniversary Special of the That Guy With The Glasses website…
NOw I want to point out – because I’d be neglegent to not bring this up – this obviously has nothing to do with the 2010 web series Suburban Knights by MDogg’s Films, which is actually a really solid webseries that I enjoyed watching for the first couple episodes – not my kind of film, mind you, but it’s a rather slick looking series, the characters are believable and down-to-earth, and for a low-budget production, it managed to keep my attention for a short while. I might give the rest of that series a go, because I’m actually interested in seeing what happens here.
But that series has nothing to do with today’s subject matter… and neither does it have anything to do with the 2007 Star Wars fanfilm also called Suburban Knights; Episode 1 The Reckoning or its 2009 sequel: Episode 2, Death Crush – both by Primordial Productions. I haven’t seen those either of those, actually, but it looks interesting, looks fairly slick for a fanfilm. I might give it a gander.
And I’m pretty sure that there will be no hint of british rock band’s Hard-Fi’s Suburban Knights single released in 2007… but as far as the blind is concerned, none of that stuff exists except for the miniseries from Channel Awesome… which is a shame because those other Knights are actually pretty good or at least seem worth a look.
But enough about those productions… we’re here to talk about Suburban Knights and boy, do I have a lot to say about Suburban Knights, along with a couple other things. So I hope that you’re comfortable and that you sit through the whole thing – which might spread over several videos – because I really do have a whole lot to say about SK… probably more so than I had Kickassia.
So the story revolves around the Nostalgia Critic and his band of entertainers cosplaying and looking for this gauntlet that is supposed to bring them riches beyond what they currently get through ad revenue and fan donations, but unfortunately, so is this other guy; a wandering technology-hating man in black who apparently has the magical ability to summon after effects and detonation film explosions. So it comes a “race” such as it is to see who gets to the prize first, with an ending that could have been shocking if it wasn’t spoiled, but let’s not jump ahead.
So I want to bring up a scene in the first chapter where the Critic is addressing the troops and trying to inspire them to go on this quest that they honestly don’t care to go on. And so he’s talking, and once he turns around, the whole room is empty. This one scene did something that the entirety of the previous special Kickassia did not; it made me laugh because I thought it was actually kinda funny.
So right off that bat, this is already better than Kickassia, because I found something funny.
And there were a couple other funny scenes, like the part where they meet up with Jaffers the guy stuck in a book and then finds out the group are just internet reviewers and he shoots at them because he believes to be unworthy… which is actually funny because it’s true. I’ll get back that in a minute, but there were actually a couple chuckle-worthy moments in Suburban Knights, not a whole lot of funny, but clearly there was something and based on that, this was already better than Kickassia as far as the quality and the funny is concerned.
I was also actually intrigued by the concept that they were going for initially; while it might not be the most original concept, I think, for the most part, they actually had a decent story to tell. And the expositionary material, in regards to the backstory such as the history of the gauntlet and the deal with Malacite, was a fair attempt to add some semblance of depth to the storyline… there was an attempt to try and instill some stakes… it’s not just a game, but rather a fight for survival or something to that extent. So I enjoyed the concept and the first couple chapters seemed promising that this might end up being a well-told story… certainly not the case, but there was promise. There was no feeling that this is gonna suck, but rather hope that this might actually be enjoyable to the casual viewer.
And the one thing I should probably bring up is the reunion of Critic and the Dude In Suede, who used to do content for the site before leaving on missionary work for a couple years. I thought it was a really touching moment, it was a nice little scene of seeing two people meeting each other for the first time in years. It was probably the only moment in Suburban Knights that felt natural, felt real, and it was a nice feel-good moment and I actually liked that bit.
Among other things… James Rolfe is not cameoing as himself… but rather as a ball of light who somehow acts like the Nerd. Not great, but whatever. It’s not the Bullshit Man like I thought it was going to be. And speaking of cameos, they did away with the pointless cameos from people who couldn’t be there live and thus screentime is dedicated to the people who are there and the cameos of those who are actually there. In other words, less pointless filler to bog down the story… that’s a good thing, by the way.
The special effects in SK… I’ll admit that the effects used here are better than what they used in kickassia, for the most part. None of those fake looking blobby explosions, no 2d Lee jumping around, explosions and flames look like explosions and flames. So it’s definitely a step up from what has come before.
Even so, I do have to point that some of the effects tend to be pretty not great even by those standards. Any time someone shoots a gun, it results in a shitty special effect. Considering guns have nothing to do with fantasy, I would think that they would kept that off the table, but since Angry Joe is apparently a blithering idiot who can’t live without his gun, they had to shoehorn that horrible effect in there. If only they had approached it another way, I probably wouldn’t have made a big fuss about it, but it is distracting because it’s not good.
There are also one scene where you had an obvious still image of a car driving into Malacite and it explodes, which I felt looked fake and found it distracting. Maybe if the car moved a little faster almost like a blur, it probably wouldn’t have bothered me all that much, but it was just something I noticed and I think that took me out of it, but aside from those along with a couple others, the effects have seen a rather sizable improvement… and again, that’s a good thing.
So, for the most part, Suburban Knights, at least in my book, is already a substantial improvement over its predecessor. There were actually a couple chuckle-worthy moments, I thought the initial premise had promise, they did a good job establishing some backstory that really, felt stronger when watching in one sitting instead in parts.
There was a part where Spoony loses the map, and Malacite finds the map, brings back to Spoony, and initially that was worthless scene, no point, but when they bring up the backstory and the tracking spell placed on the map, it makes a bit more sense. Although it would be stronger if approached another way, but watching it in one sitting, the story does come off stronger than it would have if it was watched in pieces. And that was probably a reason why I wanted to watch this again in one shot as opposed to multiple parts, because the story does flow somewhat better in that fashion.
So, SK had a couple funny moments, the effects were actually decent with some hiccups, and the story, for the most part, flowed rather well… however, while it is better than Kickassia, I would be lying if I thought was good. And yes, it has its good points, but it also has its share of problems… and they are quite plentiful, I’m afraid.
The subplot regarding FilmBrain and the rehaired character, Luke… I felt was rather pointless and actually quite distracting from the main plot… and not necessarily, in a good way. It starts with the Critic-felatting Filmbrain being jealous over Luke who is apparently Luke’s new favorite for five seconds before never touched on again. And then there’s a couple pointless jokes and at somepoint, Filmbrain is brainwashed and Luke frees him from the brainwash, and all of a sudden, the two are pals… and all because Luke flashed a ball in front of Filmbrain’s face… that… didn’t do much for me… especially since it really doesn’t add anything to the overall plot other than just another gag in a list of them… I honestly feel that they could have done without this, because this added nothing.
And the gags seemed to be something they LOVE to overdo. Linkara attempting to sing and keeps getting interrupted; wasn’t really all that funny, got old quickly.
Angry Joe screwing up his character’s one line every single time; not funny, beaten to death after the first shot.
The nostalgia critic getting repeated hit in the sack with the butt of his sword. Not funny… I am almost tempted to paraphrase Classic Nostalgia Critc,
but instead I’ll just point out, that the only one that I felt worked was the Chick’s Arwen Montages, because there were only three – one fell for it, one couldn’t care less, and one causing Malacite to punch her OR rather her stunt double… mind you, the gag wasn’t FUNNY per se, but at the same time, it didn’t feel hammered in, so there’s one good gag.
And then there are the constant Ma-Ti cameos… none of which, I thought, were funny and only served to spoil the climax of the film by blatantly telegraphing his role as the savior of the day. And people were already saying that Ma-Ti was going to be the big hero LONG before they dropped the hint that only one true of heart would claim the prize.
And I sort understand what they were trying to go for; it was supposed to be the big build-up to the big joke; the absurd notion that the most useless guy that nobody wanted who had the most most useless ability ends up being the one who defeats the big ba and commits the big sacrifice and ends up making the supposed heroes of our story look like complete and utter MORONs because they kept shooing him away. Now if they toned down on the Ma-Ti cameos and they didn’t have the other entertainers try to show him away before the big conflict, you know just look in awe, in fear, say nothing, it probably would have made for a stronger moment.
But what happens is that they spoil the joke and the big climatic moment, the big turning point, practically deflates as a result because the audience already knows what’s coming long before the characters do.
And it doesn’t matter whether it’s supposed to be serious or silly; you never want your audience to be twenty steps ahead of the characters in the story; you want to keep them guessing. Even if the ending isn’t that big of a mystery, toss a curveball or two. Have them think twice about what’s going.
That way, you don’t risk losing the audience interest and hammering in the Ma-Ti cameos, they gave away the ending and made no attempts to curtail the audience into thinking otherwise.
As a result, the final conflicts between the entertainers and the cloaks and Malacite especially feel rather shallow and anticlimatic, there’s no remote interest in seeing what happens, there’s no concern for what’s going, everything seems like it’s in a holding partner just because you’re just waiting for Ma-Ti to show up and save the day.
And that brings us to the playfighting. I can actually forgive the playfighting to a point; especially early on in the beginnng of the story. Most of these people aren’t trained fighters, no stunt people, and it’s just that playfighting. Surely, if I were going to make a big deal about the fighting, then I wouldn’t have enjoyed the first anniversary brawl, which was playfighting, good silly fun, no rhyme or reason for these people to fight other than to make a nice video about it. No reason to invest, especially in that context, there was no real storyline, there were no stakes, you knew at the end they were going to make nice and do stuff together, so it’s not a big deal.
However, when you bring that over to a feature production, especially one where there is something at stake, those playfights have to mean something. Those playfights have to reflect that, whether it’d be more aggressive fighting or whathaveyou. You have to convey to the audience that this fight is important, you have to give them a reason to care about the fight or else they will be bored and not care… and unfortunately, that was the case with Suburban Knights. The first couple fights… not a big deal, no real stakes, everybody thought it was just a game… no hassle, no harm.
But the final battles, especially with the cloakers and Jaffers and especially with Malacite, it was still shameless playfighting, it was still pointless gags, the fights started to drag and continued to drag past the point of utter boredome… They didn’t give me a reason to care… the only thing that was on my mind was “So when’s Ma-Ti showing up so he can teach these losers what true of heart really means?”
Because that’s all it really was; it was just filler that gave you no rhyme or reason to care. And again, I don’t care whether it’s supposed to be serious or it’s supposed to be silly or self-depricating; if there’s a conflict, if there are stakes, then you need to convey to the audience that this is heavy stuff and thus give them a reason to care. I wasn’t given a reason to care, I just felt they were going through the motions. And even if the ending was predictable, at least try to make the journey there interesting… and again, you do that by giving a reason to care… and again, I wasn’t given a reason to care. And that takes me out of the story… that’s not a good thing.
For the hardcore fan, the fact their favortie characters are playfighting in a climax is good enough for them. For a casual viewer unfamiliar with the site, that’s not good enough. And this was even a problem with Kickassia and I would have thought they would have resolved this here… they didn’t.
And then we get to the acting in general. And unfortunately, what was a major issue with Kickassia is just as much of an issue in Suburban Knights, and possibly more so considering the material at work. I’m just gonna shoot it out: The acting is BAD. Some will argue that it’s supposed to be exaggerated overacting. Okay fine… it’s still not good.
It’s one thing when you have brief little interactions between two characters – such as the bit between Indiana Snob and BowieWario, which I liked. Any little scene that Brad Jones has dialogue in, I am hooked. I think that guy deserved more than what he got here. I think if there was any good to come out of Suburban Knights, it’s that it convinced me to start watching some Cinema Snob and I’m glad I did because he has some really good stuff on there.
But any brief interaction of small talk, with certain expections, were casual, nothing big or anything. No real issues. That’s one thing.
But it’s another when you have these group scenes that is supposed to invoke some dramatic sensibility or tension during a crucial moment in the storyline and whatever tension or suspense that is supposed to be portrayed is killed by the lackluster acting and dialogue. And it is a prime weakness of thse “reviewer/entertainers who seem to be unable to properly convey the proper emotional state that suits the scene.
Any good comedy, parody, humor piece that has a dramatic moment is able to present the scene as such; you can still manage some humor, tongue-in-cheek elements, but it should not detract from the urgency or the importance or the severity of a crucial moment in a storyline.
These people – either to inexperience or incompetence – are unable to do that and it hurts the overall story, especially towards the final stretch which is supposed to be really heavy emotional stuff, but ultimately, the weak acting kills it and maybe would be better off if it were approached differently.
Another detriment that was also an issue in Kickassia and is just as bad here is the lack of character development… and I understand this was created mainly for the fanbase. I get that. Given all the gags and mannerisms that were tossed into this, I expected nothing less.
However, considering the big event status, this would have been a good opportunity to make new fans, to introduce these characters to an audience that are not familiar with the talents. Any good movie, spin-off within a brand or franchise is able to balance between the two. Produce something that the fans will enjoy, all the while produce something that a newbie could enjoy and possible even be inclined to check out the other stuff in that brand.
And even with that in mind, any good story with its grain in salt should be able to stand on its own two feet and when the majority of the story involves cheap gags relating to entertainers past works and offers no context to the casual viewer, that’s usually a sign of lazy writing. And even with the context of “it’s supposed to be silly”, there is such a thing as lazy writing.
That’s why I got out of Suburban Knights with its obssessive overuse of gags and memes as well as lack of character development.
Now they did do the bit where they were doing the introductions with the costumes… but at the same time, I felt they could have done more to establish these characters and maybe make them likable enough for people to consider following their stuff.
I consider it to be a weakness in character development when someone has to tell me that FilmBrain, in his usual stuff, doesn’t act like the dimwitted idiot he’s portrayed as here and… I would never know that he’s another snark, sarcastic reviewer unless someone told me. Because I don’t the guy, all I have to go on is his butchered role.
Just about the only character who I felt was true to form was Nostalgia Critic, who I always felt, even when I was a regular following of his videos, he had this manchild mentality of not being happy with what he has, so he goes on this hackneyed quest, brings his pals with him, and most likely, when they found the prize, he’ll stab him in the back and keep the prize for himself. Certainly puts himself on a higher pedastal than he’s actually at. Not quite a likable person… but he wouldn’t be the first. It kinda works for him.
Speaking of Critic, the scene with the package? Dragged too long. The scene where they’re taunting the witch woman… dragged too long. The scene where Joe realizes he’s been duped and does his best Shia LeBouef impression? Yeah… dragged too long. The argument on the playground… yeah, that too. There were certainly moments which could have benefitted from a nice trim or two, and when it drags, it really drags. And it slows the story down.
So, on the one hand, Suburban Knights is a far better production than predecessor. As I stated before, there were some funny moments, there was decent backstory, the premise had some promise, seemed like a good idea at first, the plot seemed to flow nicely except for the parts where it dragged, the special effects, while not fantastic, were still better than last year’s, and to add to that, the idea that they’re all in costume and have to portray these costumed characters makes for an interesting dynamic and makes for interesting imagery. Also, they were mostly outdoors, in the dead woods, and I thought it was a nice setting. Certainly, even for a casual viewer, there was some promise and potential that maybe this would turn out to be a good, fun little romp. And for the first three chapters, it certainly felt that way.
However, Suburban Knights eventually drops the ball and ends up replacing that promise with a huge dose of disappointment, thanks to overused gags, weak jokes that seem to drag on for far too long, generally poor acting, insufficient character development, inconsistent pacing, and a progressive decline in the ability to keep the casual audience hooked or interested in the story being told.
Even towards the final moments, especially the big climax, everything feels phoned in and the fact they practically SPOILED their ending with the repeat gags and made no effort to retain the casual viewer’s interest brought it down further. And I think that was the big weakness; it started off alright, had some potential, but once you figured out the ending halfway through, it just deflated the rest of the way and they didn’t do enough to retain interest. And by the time it was over, it’s like “Saw it coming… that’s it? Next.”
So, overall, Suburban Knights is an improvement over Kickassia, but is still not very good.
At best, I would say it was rather degrading in quality and is probably below average. At worst, I’d say it’s forgettable and surely, when they do the 4th Anniversary, this will hardly be a bleep on the radar. In its original format, I would probably just watch the first three chapters and leave the rest up to the imagination because after the third needless Ma-Ti cameo, you already know what’s going to happen and therefore, don’t really need to go further.
Now, while I cannot honestly say that Suburban Knights is any good in its original format and therefore probably not worth buying the DVD if it comes out unless you’re a diehard fan, there is actually a nice little alternative that you can actually find on YouTube. A YT user going by the name of MrShanghaiSurprise actually did a Renegade Edition cut of Suburban Knights and basically, what he did essentially was trim the unnecessary fat.
A lot of the more dragging scenes have been trimmed down trmendously and feel much more fluid, the FilmBrain subplot has been done away with completely, and that whole stretch following the final battle has been removed which results in Ma-Ti’s sacrifice ending the movie – which was a good way to end it, by the way… made for a stronger ending even if it was still too predictable. and overall, I just feel the pacing is a bit better.
Mind you, it doesn’t solve all of the problems evident in Suburban Knights, but it is generally more watchable than certain portions of the full thing. And I can honestly say that I found that to be the more enjoyable version because it just kept things going. Still wouldn’t call it a good movie, but it is better than the official CA cut.
So if you were one of those folks who were disenchanted by Suburban Knights, especially with the latter half of the miniseries, I’d say give the Renegade Version a try. It’s actually not that bad… as far as the official cut goes, first three parts are okay, the rest not so much.
So there. That wasn’t so bad, was it?
dtm666 