So we open up RAW with Alberto del Rio coming into the ring and cutting a nice promo. Then Rey Mysterio shows up and cuts his usual promo. Then Miz shows up and cuts his crybaby promo. Then R-Truth shows up and yaps incoherently as I try to decipher what he’s trying to say. The point is that the Raw GM chimes and books a triple threat match between ADR, Rey Mysterio, and Miz… and with R-Truth spazzing because he got hosed again. He leave and the other three fights.
Bella Twins vs Kelly Kelly and Eve Torres… despite one of them holding the Diva title, I still ask why the Bellas still have a job. Apparently, John Cena can pick a stipulation for some match. Kelly wins and Kharma shows up and all the girls but Eve are smart enough to run away, which means Eve gets beat up by the former Awesome Kong. Well… that was unboring.
On a side note, what’s with the Ninja Turtle caps in the crowd?
Kane is walking… wait, I thought Big Show was the one who was drafted? Oh right, tag champs. Appears on both shows. Okay…
So now it’s Kane vs. Batista Jr… I mean, Mason Ryan. Match ends in a no-contest when the rest of Nexus interferes and are once again proven to be ineffective. Wonderful… why is this faction still around? Stick a fork in them, they’re done. I mean, this is like watching the nWo B-Team right now.
On a sidenote: the episode of Smackdown featuring Randy Orton winning his five billionth World Title reign is apparently the lowest rated episode of 2011… Oh, that Orton. He’s a ratings black hole.
Dolph Ziggler beats Santino Marella… and I typed that in before it happened. What a shock. The match was your usual Santino match. Nothing special.
So now we get to witness a recap of Randy Orton winning his five billionth World title and burying (?) Christian because nobody watched it the first time since the spoilers pissed them off so much. Josh then says it was unfair for Christian to defend the title.
R-Truth walks out of the building and that guy who shills stuff on Canadian TV does an interview, which results in more rambling. Oh joy.
John Cena is going to talk after commercials. FUCK HIM! THERE’S ZACK RYDER! I WANT A ZACK RYDER PROMO, DAMMIT! WOO! WOO! WOO! Or something…
By the way, are you watching Zack Ryder’s YouTube vids? Funny shit.
Miz chews out Alex Riley, who walks out to the ring… with no entrance music… nice. He talks about how he only cares about the Miz (in a non-heterosexual way) and decides to make up to Miz by challenging John Cena to a match. He loses… of course. Cuck Fena.
Michael Cole’s important announcement is apparently his retirement from active competition, to the applause of many who no longer want to watch his shitty matches. Wait, Jerry Lawler decides to interrupt and replays the bit from last week where Rocky beats up Michael Cole. Oh God; we’re having another Lawler/Cole match and it’s for a Hall of Fame ring. Cole initially refuses. He then rambles about Gore, Elvis, and plays the “dead mother” card. Swagger ambushes Lawler… again. This shit sucks.
Jack Swagger facing US Champion Kofi Kingston for the title. Nice little match. Swagger wearing out Kingston’s ankle, just about ready to finish off before Lawler shows up. Kingston retains with a roll-up. Lawler then grabs Cole’s tie and slams his head against the Cole Glass with tie in hand. Hey, he might be choking Cole with that tie… didn’t this get Daniel Bryan fired last year?
Oh yeah, Swagger accepts Lawler’s challenge on Cole’s behalf. Joy. We get a replay of Cole clearly getting choked on his tie by Lawler… better get ready for that future endeavors well wishes, Jerry. You’ll need it.
Wait… let’s see that replay again…
Yeah… see ya, Jerry.
Miz beats ADR and Rey Mysterio. He’ll meet John Cena for the WWE Title in an I Quit match. God, shoot me. Yeah, way to give away the ending to your PPV main event, idiots.
Meh, RAW was okay tonight. Not much more than that… but two matches tops for the next PPV? And it’s only two weeks away? Well…
Looking forward to Impact this Thursday. Might do another one of these.
Later.
dtm666 