About last night… something magical happened. The most electrifying man in entertainment appeared in a WWE ring and cut a promo for the ages… and for the first time in what seems like a long time, I find myself not only entertained and attentive to this final cutting closing promo, but I also find myself actually looking forward to Wrestlemania this year… a show that might actually gain that aura of grand spectacle that the previous iterations have been lacking.
The fact that the host of ‘Mania was going to be Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson (known from hereon as The Rock) is no big surprise. The fact that he would cut a promo that makes EVERYONE on the current WWE roster look beneath bush league in comparison is no big surprise. The fact that he took a pot shot on Michael Cole is no big surprise and actually quite entertaining. The fact that he took a pot shot on the Miz and Justin Bieber… not surprising in the slightest. However, the fact that he took a pot shot on John Cena and proceeded to masterfully BURY the man that had been the WWE franchise player for the past five or six years… that WAS a surprise. And that, more than anything, piqued my interest.
With that one promo, The Rock had done three things;
1) He shows that he still has IT… the ability to keep the audience in the palm of his hands and be enthralled by his promo work, which remains the absolute best. The ability to shoot a promo out of his candy ass (sorry, couldn’t resist) and do so in a way that you could feel the passion, energy, and emotion in every word that comes out of the guy’s mouth. It wasn’t a manufactured, pre-memorized promo that a good 100% of the roster resorts to spewing out with about as much emotion and passion as a Vulcan. This felt real, this felt lively, and it did something that NOBODY on the current rosters of either WWE or TNA were able to do with their hackneyed promos – it kept my attention and kept the attention of the audience. The audience seemed like they were having a good time, they were really in it, and they were hooked, just as I was. THAT is what makes a good promo and THAT is the current crop of superstars need to learn because THAT is the one thing that is missing from a lot of these promos.
2) He has pretty much rendered any potential match involving John Cena totally and utterly worthless. Not that they weren’t already – Cena Vs. Punk isn’t Wrestlemania worthy and I was pretty much NOT looking forward to the eventual Miz vs. Cena match because that match would suck and render Miz as another footstool for the CeNation product – but it’s pretty clear that after that promo, the only Cena match that matters the most at this point is the one that is never going to happen despite the potential opponent being involved at Wrestlemania.
Let’s not kid ourselves here and let’s get off that proverbial cloud nine; the Rock is there to HOST the event. That’s it, that’s all. He’s not there to WRESTLE. He’s just there to cut promos, do the whole hosting gig whatever that entails, and maybe partake in a segment where he does the Rock Bottom and People’s Elbow to some poor jabroni for old times’ sake. But to actually COMPETE in a match that may last ten or twenty minutes? Not gonna happen. It’d be nice to see, but it ain’t happening. Unless it’s in a video game.
(Hey, lookie. A light bulb just lit up. And I actually have the time to throw that together.)
And that’s a shame… because after that promo, the only match that really matters, that could really give Wrestlemania that big feel spectacle the last few iterations were missing, and the one match that will never, EVER happen, is that fateful encounter between John Cena and The Rock. It is perhaps the last big dream match that you’ll ever be able to squeeze out of that bottle of dream matches. Anything less than that match (which is pretty much every match conceivable, quite frankly) is going to be a massive, MASSIVE let down.
Cena vs. Punk and Cena vs. Miz are already made utterly worthless beforehand, but at this point, those matches mean NOTHING. They’re not even worthy of being dark matches for a TNA Xplosion taping. It’d be an absolute farce that they end up main-eventing Wrestlemania… as would any other match involving John Cena against an opponent that ISN’T the Rock. Yep, toss Stone Cold to that list too and I like Stone Cold. But he ain’t no Rock.
Triple H has to be pissing himself right now. At this point, his potential big comeback to face off against Undertaker (also making the big comeback 2-21-11) with special ref Shawn Michaels means NOTHING. The reaction is basically going to be:
“Yeah, okay, those guys are coming back. That’s nice. Career vs. Streak, Inferno Death Match. Nice. Nice. But THE ROCK’S COMING BACK!!!!”
I’d imagine Shawn Michael’s induction into the WWE Hall Of Fame would pale in comparison… which is too bad.
At this point, you could have Sting make his long-hyped, first-time-ever debut in the WWE the very NEXT DAY and it will mean NOTHING because people will probably not care as much as THE ROCK COMING BACK!
Hell, after that promo last night, it seems like everything that happens in the interim between NOW and Wrestlemania will mean absolutely NOTHING. It doesn’t matter (see what I did there?) if there’s a PPV featuring two steel cage matches nor if there’s any potential storylines or up-and-comers to look out for. The only thing people will be thinking about… is THE ROCK COMING BACK.
And the reason why I’m making it sound like a big deal is because this actually is kind of a big deal. The Rock’s last in-ring appearance was at Wrestlemania XX in a tag-match with Mick Foley against Evolution (we’ll forget his involvement with the Diva Search debacle or his interactions with Eugene, thank you very much) and outside of a couple taped promos, hasn’t been at a live WWE televised event since. He’s been busy doing other stuff, filming movies… you know, making full use of his potential. He hasn’t made mini-comebacks here and there that meant nothing, he didn’t formally announce a retirement from wrestling only to unretire months later, and his involvement with wrestling has been kept to a bare minimum… almost none at all, according to some people.
Rock’s stock hasn’t dropped, his name hasn’t been devalued, and the fact that fans popped huge for his promo is indication that people still care about him. And if the buyrates pop upwards, it’d be because of the Rock’s involvement at Wrestlemania and not so much because of whatever matches WWE decides to throw on there. And even if his involvement meant nothing more than a couple promos or some minor physical confrontation, the important thing is that his mere presence ALONE will peek people’s interest.
I, for one, can’t wait to see what he has planned… Later.
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Oh wait… I said three things, didn’t I? Um… how about this?
3) He made Fruity Pebbles into an insult and compared John Cena to Barney the Dinosaur’s fecal matter.
Oh yeah, that made my day.
Later, happy campers.
dtm666 