So here are some brief thoughts on the TNA Genesis PPV that took place a short while ago. Not much else to say in this regard except what’s behind the page break, although I will say right off the bat that I largely regret watching this show.
Kazarian defeated X-Division champion Jay Lethal to win the title. Poor Jay Lethal – has six reigns as X-Division champion under his belt and none of them lasted too long. It’s almost like turning your head to sneeze during a Jay Lethal title reign and when you look back, it’s all over. That’s pretty much the same case here and while it was a fun little match, the end result was pretty clear even to someone who wasn’t watching this promotion regularly.
AJ Styles is out with an injury and therefore, we need a replacement for the upcoming match with Doug Williams. And there goes the only reason to look forward to this show.
TNA Knockouts champion Madison Rayne defeated Mickie James to retain the title. Bad ending, bad match, and I honestly don’t know why you couldn’t have Mickie win this one, since she’s the bigger star for better or worse. I’d normally be opposed to giving a new talent a title due to their previous place of employment, but I’d rather have a Mickie James as champion then Madison Rayne.
Beer Money (James Storm and Bobby Roode) defeated TNA Tag-Team Champions Motor City Machine Guns (Alex Shelley and some other guy) to win the titles in what may very well the best match of the night.
Bully Ray (the former Brother Ray) defeated Brother Devon via disqualification when D-Von Dudley used a chain to whip Bubba Ray Dudley. Somehow, I couldn’t fit in a Deacon Dave joke in there for good measure… which probably would’ve me care about this match. So they tease retirement and go their separate ways instead… eh, whatever.
Abyss defeated the TNA Television/Global/Legends champion Douglas Williams to win the title and… so we’re having this Immortal thing be the TNA version of Evolution, huh? I wonder how that’s going to turn out. Here’s a hint; it starts with an “s” and ends with “hit.” And for once, it won’t be TNA’s fault because Evolution sucked when WWE did it back in the day. Don’t try to convince me otherwise; there is no way in fucking hell’s ballsack you could try and convince me that the reign of McSon-In-Law was anything but the drizzling shits. I saw it. I was there. I wanted to kick babies into the river long before Gene Snitzky came along and turned that into a gimmick.
Matt Hardy, fresh off being Fatt Lardy in WWE and suddenly sporting dreadlocks and it’s quite honestly the worst look for the guy, is Rob Van Dam’s mystery opponent to the surprise of absolutely nobody and also to the surprise of absolutely nobody, Matt Hardy defeats RVD in a match that I didn’t care one iota about… because it’s fucking Matt Hardy.
(2024 Update: He gets better eventually, 2011 Dave. I promise.)
Kurt Angle defeated Jeff Jarrett via disqualification in an MMA rules match where they tried to do an MMA-style match in a scripted pro wrestling show. Fuck right the fuck off with this shit. This was fucking boring. Fuck this show.
Mr. Anderson defeated Matt Morgan to earn himself a title shot at the TNA World title held by Jeff Hardy. Eh, it’s a match; not much else to say. And, of course, the aftermath of this match is that Anderson is forced to wrestle Jeff Hardy for the World title right then, right there. This brings out Jeff Hardy who’s smoking… something.
And so after a shitty match that went on way the fuck too long, Mr. Anderson beats Jeff Hardy after sixty bagillion motherfucking run-ins to win the World title. Holy fuck, that was a fucking, horrible, godawful match.
And that is all… good bye.
…
Oh yeah… fuck you, TNA.
(2024 Update: I recently gave this show a watch and while I probably wouldn’t have been as… ahem… generous with the colorful metaphors as I was here, I do agree with the assessment that this show was largely terrible and I did, indeed, regret re-watching this show. There are better TNA PPVs to watch. This ain’t it…)
dtm666 