So my initial reaction to the 900th episode of RAW after watching that whole episode is as follows:
“This was a really lousy show. You know something? It’s so lousy and dull that I’d rather watch that Sharmell vs. Jenna Morasca match from Victory Road 2009.”
In hindsight, I don’t know if I’d go that far…
Regardless – and against my better judgment – I rewatched the 900th episode of RAW and have a few comments on it (most of which were going to be brought up on an upcoming Vlog, but whatever). Before I do that, I would like to share a sample of an interview done with Justin Long, co-star of the film “Going The Distance” but probably best known for his stint as the Mac guy on those Apple commercials ages ago. The snippet in particular covers his time hosting RAW some time ago:
While promoting the movie, you and co-stars Jason Sudeikis and Charlie Day appeared on WWE’s Monday Night Raw, right?
[Laughs] Yeah. In no way am I being self-deprecating when I say that was a disaster. It was just not the audience to be promoting a movie like that to. We were so out of place. It was just awkward. They’re all fired up to see guys pummeling each other, not to see three nerdy comedy guys do some bits. They played the trailer for this crowd and it just silenced them — and not in a good way.
So what do you do in a situation like that?
You just commit to it as best you can. We were in Los Angeles at the Staples Center, and the only time we really had the audience on our side was when we were praising the Lakers. And before that I think the majority of them were contemplating throwing things at us. There were a few homophobic remarks. I don’t want to generalize it, I know some wrestling fans. But it’s just not the audience.
Wow. Just wow. I guess not everyone can say they had a good time hosting Monday Night RAW. Can’t win them all, I suppose. (2024 Update: I had a link to the interview in question, but said link no longer works. Oh well.)
I guess we should talk about RAW.
So this past Monday was the 900th episode of RAW… and if they didn’t tell you every five minutes, you would have never known that this was supposed to be something special because aside from the Smackdown talent showing up, nothing of remote interest happened. There was barely any wrestling, and what wrestling was there wasn’t very good, Kane apparently forgot the World title at home because he didn’t bring it with him… no joke, he never had the title with him… I’m guessing because the last time he had a World Title on RAW, he lost it to Steve Austin, but whatever…
Um, oh yeah, they pushed a Bret Hart/Undertaker match that never happened… I mean, they gotta stop doing that. Everyone knows Bret Hart can’t wrestle anymore, what with his concussion and stroke and insurance woes, why do you keep teasing matches with Bret? What’s the point?
Um, what else? The 5-on-5 tag-team main event was pointless – it doesn’t mean anything that Nexus won this one because they already bit a bullet at Summerslam where a win would have mattered, but I digress – there’s barely any push towards the PPV outside of a Lumberjack match for the unifying of the various Diva titles that nobody cares about… and you know what? I never liked watching past moments from RAW history; not because I don’t like looking back, but simply because I don’t like to reminded of how much better Raw used to be as opposed to… well, right now. And no, I’m not one of the folks who blame the poor shows on the PG rating. That seems to be the easy way out; a show sucks because it’s rated PG.
Well, I suppose TNA Impact is the greatest show on earth because it ISN’T rated PG, but based on the stupidities going on in that show, I highly doubt that to be the case… no, I’m sorry, but I can’t take any company that decides to take TWO WHOLE MONTHS to crown a new World champion seriously. That’s not building up anticipation or excitement; that’s just stupid. I mean… they couldn’t have just booked Abyss to beat RVD for the title a couple weeks ago and have him fill the void until Hulk Hogan won it at Bound for Glory? Because I wouldn’t put it past him to book that to happen despite being able to fuck all these days… but I digress. I shouldn’t be whaling on TNA at the moment and besides, Spoony seems to be doing fine in that department anyway, so… back to RAW.
But yeah… for a show that was supposed to be a big deal, RAW was decidedly boring. Nothing really happened. There were no former Superstars on hand, there were no surprises, it was just a paint-by-numbers show. In fact, the only real high spot was the CM Punk promo, which was absolutely brilliant because he’s a Smackdown guy. And yet again, during the promo, they’re showing past RAW moments that only serve to remind you that this show USED to be good.
(On a side note, CM Punk teased the audience by having Stone Cold’s music play and the audience exploded… only to realize that they’ve been had. Meanwhile, Steve “Don’t Call Me Stone Cold” Austin got wind of this and praised CM Punk on his Twitter. Nice.)
I mean, this show was so depressingly lousy that I actually went on YouTube and looked up what many people have considered the worst wrestling match in the history of the universe… the snank match between Sharmell and Jenna Morasca from TNA Victory Road 2009. And while the whole Undertaker-Bret Hart non-match was going on, I was watching that… and yes, it is a horrible match. It’s a really sloppy match… but at horrible and wretched as that Jenna/Sharmell match, it was infinitely more entertaining than the 900th episode of RAW.
So yeah, RAW 900? A tepidly boring and uneventful show for something that was pushed as history making. It’s just unfortunate that whenever they put together a regular RAW show, it’s somewhat interesting and entertaining… but when it comes to a major show like a three-hour RAW or the history-making 900th episode, they suck wind so bad that the first ten rows passed out due to oxygen deprivation. Would have been funny if it wasn’t so sad.
Okay, I’m done… that was enjoyable.
dtm666 