So for the past day or so, I’ve been leaving some comments on Asalieri’s YouTube channel. A good majority of these comments pertain to Kickassia, a six-part miniseries produced by website That Guy With The Glasses which serves as their second anniversary event. Anyway, I realized that as much as I was expressing my thoughts and reply to a couple comments, I was taking it a bit too far with my endless spamming of comments. While it engaged some replies, ultimately it isn’t fair to anyone and especially to Asalieri that I use his channel as a place to vent my disappointment on a video that he has nothing to do with.
Kickassia is a six-part event touted as the Second Anniversary celebration, following up on the site’s first anniversary special which featured the TGWTG crew (along with James Rolfe’s Angry Video Game Nerd character and Kyle Justin’s… um, Kyle Justin character) beating the crap out of each other using their trademark gimmicks and gags. While it was light on plot, it was a pretty straightforward set-up pitting the AVGN’s crew of Gamers (comprising half the TGWTG talent roster… strange) against the Critic’s crew of “Reviewers” (and yes, the quotes are intentional). For all intents and purposes, it was a fun little video that was meant to celebrate the site’s first anniversary and kick off the spin-off videos which would have several of the talent produce reviews together, including the dual Nerd/Critic review of the TMNT Coming Out of Their Shells video… quite honestly the last Nerd/Critic video I actually enjoyed.
So when it came to do the second anniversary, the Powers That Be decided that they needed to do something bigger, better, badder, grander, more epic. And gathering most of the talents of TGWTG, they concocted Kickassia, the epic depiction of the invasion of Molosssia.
Well, they got one of those right.
Now I haven’t been watching a lot of the TGWTG stuff lately due to the fact that I’ve sort of lost interest in the whole “angry reviewer” shtick. While I’ll watch a couple videos here and there – depending on the subject matter – the simple truth is that the concept has run dry, especially when the followers of the style seem to deviate from giving a simple review or running commentary. For the most part, more time is spent on creating irritating memes, unappealing storylines, unimaginative catchphrases, and generally useless characters than on the actual critiquing of the crummy target. It’s generally why I refer to them as “reviewers” or entertainers rather than reviewers, but that’s a rant for another time.
So I’m not a big fan of padding skits in reviews – and yet here is Kickassia, which is essential a two hour sketch. In this regard, I’m cool with that. There’s nothing being reviewed here and it’s sort of a follow-up to last year’s Brawling In A Hotel Room video. I come into this with an open mind, because I’m not the kind of person out looking for things to hate. If something piques my interest, I’ll watch it and maybe I’ll be entertained by it – either because it’s good or because it’s bad but I’ll somehow get a chuckle out of it due to the awfulness. So I gave Kickassia a shot, knowing I’ll get some form of entertainment out of it.
Well, suffice to say that didn’t happen. And that’s why I’m here to bare my soul.
First of all, for anyone who has been a follower of TGWTG, all your favorites are in here and they bring their bag of tricks with them. All the gags, memes, and gimmicks you’ve grown to love from the individuals that concocted have made their way into Kickassia in some form or another. There are a couple nods and re-enactments of scenes and cliches from a couple reviewer. It’s all there. Not all of it works, but it’s all there.
His excellency Kevin Baugh is excellent in the role of himself; quite possibly the best actor in the movie by far since he knows his role and excels at it. His associate, who bares a striking resemblance to his excellency, is also efficient in his role and is the second-best actor in the movie. The First Family of Molossia, though appearing in quick cameos at most, are masterful in their roles of the First Family of Molossia, as they react appropriately to the invasion and subsequent power struggles surrounding them.
Everything else goes downhill from there.
It should be noted that the Republic of Molossia’s official website (Yes, it is a real micronation for those in disbelief) has made mention of the Invasion by TGWTG in an April press-release, letting people know that the invasion had overthrown the Molossian government, but the new government didn’t work out and the rightful rulers returned to power. Kickassia debuted in May… SO MUCH FOR THAT. There goes any attempt at dramatic tension. The whole thing is spoiled for me now.
But even if it wasn’t, Kickassia has its share of problems.
The first issue involves the overall length of the miniseries. As mentioned, Kickassia clocks in at roughly two hours, with each of the six parts running at roughly twenty minutes a piece. And yet outside of the invasion, power struggles, and totally unnecessary cameo by Board James (more like Bored James), very little actually happens in Kickassia. Most of the middle portion of the miniseries – including failed mutiny attempts, a banishment that ends up being *ding* entirely pointless at movie’s end, and a totally necessary fake newscast – is basically padding for some of the more important sequences and could easily have been trimmed or dropped altogether. For example, there’s that one sequence where everybody proclaims that they believe in something called a Santa Christ… or something. And this lasts WAY TOO LONG. This sequence could have been trimmed or dropped altogether, as it really adds NOTHING to the overall plot, such as there is one.
The battles are also pretty bad. You’d think that invading a micronation would be a big deal and result in some masterful no-budget battle sequences, but it’s not to be as we bare witness to some of the most horrid fight sequences ever conceived. Most of the material – lightning battles, fake fireballs and explosions galore, goofy punches, 2D Lee stomping on stuff – seem like stuff that was recycled from prior videos and tossed in for good measure. It’s just a clusterfuck of special effects and acting thrown on screen that makes no discernible effort to make the viewer care about what’s going on. And these things seem to last FOREVER with no gratifying payoff. Most of the battle sequences also could have benefited from a quick snip or two, as well as perhaps better editing. Sitting through some of these fights became a tedious affair and it wasn’t long before I found myself longing for the epic battle between the Irate Gamer and a cosplaying Predator… in fact, I much rather be watching that than this, come to think of it. Dear lord…
Another issue has to do with the acting. It isn’t something that I should be too critical of considering this is free entertainment, but all the same, I’ve seen poorly conceived fanfilms with better acting than this. There are scenes that are supposed to be dramatic or tense, but the acting – whether it be by design or due to the inexperience of the players involved – totally destroys any sense of tension that would have been present in the scene had more competent actors been involved. Moments like this are clear reasons why these people are reviewers/entertainers and not actors. And while they are generally adequate or decent reviewers/entertainers when they’re doing the “review” portions of their videos, when they try to expand on that with skits, it falters quite a bit.
Accessibility is somewhat of an issue here; perhaps the biggest issue of all. It’s clear to me that this special was meant to be a valentine to the longtime viewers and diehard of TGWTG, as it lacks anything for the casual outsider to get hooked on. As stated before, there are inside gags and skits that longtime fans will be familiar with, but that seems to comprise a good chunk of Kickassia and when some gag or meme happens, the movie automatically assumes you’re aware of it because you followed the site. But what about someone who hasn’t followed the site?
While some people might recognize the Critic due to his spat with the Nerd years ago, you really can’t say the same about the others and the movie makes no effort in introducing these characters whom we’re supposed to care about. At least in the first anniversary special, we got a brief introduction of (almost) everybody and have some idea what they’re supposed to do. It doesn’t say much, but it’s better than nothing. But nothing is what we get in Kickassia, and so when casual viewers see the menagerie of “reviewers” in the room and no attempt is made to introduce them, they’re left wondering, “Who’s that guy with the hat? Who’s that girl with the funny hair? Who’s 8-Bit Mickey and what’s so 8-bit about him?”
And then with each passing inside joke or reference to a “reviewer’s” previous work, more questions are raised in the mind of the casual viewer who might not have the slightest clue as to what’s going on. “Why does Ma-Ti (the Planeteer with the power of Heart) have a cameo in this film and since when did he get a haircut? Why is that guy cosplaying as a Starfleet officer wearing an army hat? Why is one guy comprised of low-resolution JPGs among live people? When did M.Bison start wearing glasses, grow a goatee, and lose 50 pounds? Why is the French guy talking to his teddy bear? Why is the Angry Video Game Nerd talking about Risk and what happened to his glasses? WHO THE FUCK IS SANTA CHRIST?!”
Ahem…
And yet no attempts are made to answer any of these questions, because the movie assumes you already know this stuff. You can’t do that, movie. You just can’t do that.
For all of TGWTG’s various complaints on the various items they review, it’s almost ironic that Kickassia suffers from the same flaws that they poke fun at. Suffering from an uninteresting storyline, lackluster acting, subpar action, and a plethora of inside jokes and needless cameos that will go over the heads of most casual viewers watching this while making no attempt to make the film accessible to newbies nor give them cause or reason to care about what’s going on, Kickassia is a rather dull, shallow, and ultimately boring film whose only purpose is to appease to the TGWTG hardcores who will no doubt gobble this up like hard drugs. It doesn’t jumps the shark; it stomps the living crap out of that shark. It doesn’t just nukes the fridge; it annihilates the damn thing down to the subatomic level. Just about the only thing it does right is make a Chris Bores production seem like Steven Spielberg in comparison.
And that’s already two references to the guy that I just made, which is more than what I care to make. That’s how disappointed and depressed I am at this thing.
So I guess what I’m trying to say is… Kickassia doesn’t kick ass.
dtm666 