Greetings, it’s presently May 21st, 2010… and it’s time to ramble on some stuff. I figure I try something new and do this in an audio-video format rather than the usual typing diatribe. (2024 Update: The video has since been taken down, but I can get you a downloadable MP3 eventually if you really want the torture.)
So as of Monday, May 17th, 2010, Bret Hart is YOUR WWE United States Heavyweight champion at the young tender age of 52.
Wow, I’m sure glad they’re pushing that young Bret fellow to the stars. If only he knew how to work.
You know, I try to put it aside, I try to justify it with some positive lining, but really… I can’t get over the Bret Hart US Title win. No matter how much I try to think of it as a “mending of the fences” or a “feel-good moment in Toronto” or many other similar reactions, I can’t help but see this as nothing more than a 52-year-old man, who hasn’t wrestled a match in years, who isn’t capable of wrestling full matches without hurting himself, beating a more capable and active talent to end said talent’s months-long reign as WWE United States Champion. Instead of giving that victory to someone who could benefited from it in the long run, you give it to Bret. Did we just witness the rebirth of the WWE’s Seniors Tour?
I don’t want to reign on anyone’s parade regarding this; if you’re happy that Bret won the belt as a means of getting well-deserved closure, great. If you’re happy that you got a nice feel-good moment from that title win, great. If you’re happy that Miz no longer has any title belts to carry around, great.
I’m not thrilled at what happened, but at the very least, I know this isn’t going to last long and a title forfeiture may occur. I can’t imagine the guy doing regular title defenses.
Note to WWE braintrust and Bret: DON’T GET ANY IDEAS.
Speaking of ideas, did you know that the original concept of John Cena vs. Batista was going to be a losers-leave-town match, but they had to change it to an I Quit match because TNA already pulled off such a match on their recent TNA Sacrifice PPV? Find that very interesting and really, I don’t see what the problem is. So TNA held a loser-leaves-town match between two TNA knockouts. So what? Who cares? Cena/Batista might be repetitive and I personally don’t care for it seeing that I’ve seen it fifty fucking times already (or at least that’s what it feels like), but more people do care.
But hey, an I Quit match means pretty much the same thing, right? Batista quits and he’s gone from the company. A rather nice send-off, if you ask me.
Funny I bring up the TNA PPV, because I’ve read that Sting apparently had some sort of shoulder injury and thus wasn’t able to wrestle a full-match with Jeff Jarrett. So rather than taking the night off and letting someone wrestle the match or at the very least, CANCEL the match and replace it with something else, they decide to have a short match that lasts about as long as a piss break. No, seriously. That’s how long it lasted. I could imagine being an audience member coming back from a piss break;
FAN #1 – Hey there. Did anything happen while I was gone?
FAN #2 – Yeah, Sting just pinned Jeff Jarrett after scorpion deathdropping him.
FAN #1 – They already had the match? But I was gone five minutes.
FAN #2 – Yeah, well. That match was that long anyway.
Anyone well-versed in TNA… anything be willing to explain the logic behind that deal? I honestly don’t get it. Just for a paycheck? Oh, okay. That makes sense.
You know there’s a blurb that usually appears on programs for entertainment events? A small little bit that says CARD SUBJECT TO CHANGE. It’s a wonderful little disclaimer to fall back on in the event that one of your performers is unable to perform due to health issues or emergencies. As a matter of fact, that bit was even pushed in one of the older WWF Pay-Per-Views back in 1998. I’ll try to enlighten some of you who may have no ungodly clue what I’m talking about.
In July of 1998, the WWF held a Pay-Per-View event called Fully Loaded: In Your House, most notable for the event poster featuring HHH crotch-chopping a WWF-branded dildo sitting underneath him. You just don’t get top-notch event posters like this anymore.
Anyway, the main event for the show was then-WWF World champion Stone Cold Steve Austin teaming with the Undertaker to take on the reign World Tag-Team championship team of Kane (back when he was intimidating and semi-interesting) and Mankind (fresh off his show-stealing performance of falling off a cage). The angle throughout the show was that Undertaker had yet to show up and so Vince McMahon, accompanied by his associates, would appear and remind viewers to the little blurb on the show programs that says CARD SUBJECT TO CHANGE. And so he decreed that if Undertaker no-showed for the main event, then Austin would get a new partner in the form of the Brooklyn Brawler.
Of course, Taker did show up and he and Austin won the tag-belts. But that reign didn’t last long and soon enough, the two main-evented Summerslam the following month. Good times.
But that was an angle, so that doesn’t really matter, right? Well, let me shoot something a little more recent and a little more accurate. Back in 2007, the WWE held their annual No Mercy PPV, with the main event scheduled to be WWE champion John Cena against Randy Orton. Sometime before the PPV was to take place, however, John Cena suffered an injury and was out for several months. And so rather than have him wrestle a two-second match on the PPV, they basically stripped Cena of the title and gave it to Orton, followed by two matches versus HHH in a quick round of title hotshotting.
But I digress.
The point is if one of your guys can’t compete, then replace him with someone else. But I guess TNA doesn’t operate that way and they need to shoe in their seniors in somehow for a paycheque. Lame.
Daniel Bryan Danielson beating up on Michael Cole? Good stuff. Pretty much the only real highlight that has happened on NXT, in all honesty.
Enough with the wrestling talk.
I need to inquire about the point of titling a show “I Rate The 80s” if nothing ever gets rated. You might as well go back to talking about Breakfast Cereals. Oh wait.
Kickassia… doesn’t really kick ass. I’m sorry, but I’m not at all impressed by the miniseries thus far. Given that there have been too many collaborations between the various members of that site in the interim between the two anniversary projects, this didn’t really have much of an impact on me. Sorry.
If you haven’t already seen Eddie Lebron’s Mega Man fan film (presently available at screwattack.com), then put aside the 90+ minutes to do so. I only got to see it myself recently and I was actually pretty impressed. For a fan film, it actually looks pretty good and you can obviously tell that a lot of care and effort was put into making such a massive project. Of course, it’s not a perfect film – there are some sound editing issues such as where mouths would be moving but nothing spoken, the acting is rather average at best, although I’ll agree with most people when they say Wily steals the show – but I was pleasantly entertained and found it to be good enough that I’d rank it high among the plethora of films based on video games – fanmade or otherwise.
What is the point of Bores week, exactly? Outside of some minor debunking of the guy’s latest IGNeo review, I’ve seen very little done. Oh well.
Oh, by the way, word is out that Megan Fox has been dropped from Michael Bay’s Transformers 3. Anyone disappointed that she won’t be acting in the third installment of the craptacular series that somehow made money shouldn’t be too sad. After all, it’s not like she was acting in the first two flicks to begin with. I’d like to say that maybe the dropping will improve the movie, but I remembered that Michael Bay is still there. Oops.
Well, I’ll end it here since I’ve nothing else to say. So until next time.
dtm666 