Oh, lookie. Some thoughts on a TNA PPV that took place this past weekend. Big props to my buddy Sean for inviting me over to watch the show, because god knows I’m clamoring to spend money on this hackney promotion… then again, Destination X usually… wait, never mind.
I had originally posted some quick thoughts on the show, but eventually decided to post my full notes up because I don’t think I’ve conveyed how much this show annoyed me.
(2024 Update: The entire show is actually available for free on their Youtube channel as I’m doing these little updates. I’ve seen revisited this show in a later musings.)
(Frankie) Kazarian defeated (Christopher) Daniels, Amazing Red, and Brian Kendrick in a ladder match to determine the No. 1 Contender to the X-Division Championship. This was pretty standard X-Division with lots of high-flying, fast-paced, and hard-hitting action. A good way to get the show rolling for the most part.
TNA Knockouts Champion Tara (the former Victoria in WWE) defeated Daffney to retain the title in a perfectly acceptable wrestling match. Daffney then steals Tara’s spider because… something, I guess. So we have two ladies feuding over a spider… well, we have two guys feuding over a WWE Hall Of Fame ring, so sure, why not?
TNA Legends/Global/Whatever The Fuck It’s Called This Week Champion ROB TERRY defeated BRUTUS MAGNUS (or is it just Magnus?) in a quick match that lasted longer than my bathroom break.
The Motor City Machine Guns (Alex Shelley and Chris Sabin) defeated Generation Me (Jeremy and Max Buck) in an Ultimate X match… Ultimate X matches are usually spectacles of high-flying endeavors and this certainly lived up to that. Thrilling stuff.
(2024 Update: In case anyone didn’t know, Generation Me is the TNA-packaged version of Matt and Nick Jackson… yes, the Young Bucks were in TNA once upon a time and this match would be something of a dream match had it happened in 2024.)
So this deal with Eric Young and the former nWo guys… so they booked a match between the team of Eric Young and his partner KEVIN NASH and the team of Scott “Alka” Hall and Sean “Syxx-Pacc Sux” Waltman. This match came with stipulations; if Hall and Sean win, they get TNA contracts, but if they lose, they’re gone from TNA forever… and I do mean, FOREVER! As in… well, never mind, because we get to a point where Kevin turns on Eric and everyone is beating on poor Eric Young… or at least, that’s what I’d be saying if Young’s partner was someone who earned his trust or maybe another fellow babyface… but no, it’s KEVIN FUCKING NASH. And given the choice between helping Eric rid TNA of Hall and Waltman or helping his friends get employment in TNA, what do you think he’s gonna go with, pal?
So yes, the three nWo guys are beating up Eric Young because Young is a fucking idiot, which is par for the course with his character. I yearn for the day when he grows out of this schtick and gets a reboot or something, because it’s hard to feel sorry for this guy when he’s making stupid moves resulting in his getting beat up. And that’s where I’m getting that sense of “Why the fuck am I watching this shit” that I’ve been pretty much getting since I watched these fucking Impact shows. Why am I watching this shit?
X-Division Champion Doug Williams defeated Shannon Moore to retain the title in what I’d diplomatically call a complete waste of fucking goddamn time… and that was putting it diplomatically.
TNA Tag-Team Champions Hernandez and Matt Morgan defeated Beer Money, Inc. (James Storm and Robert Roode) to retain the titles. This was a thing that happened and that’s being somewhat generous here. I mean, this is what I don’t get, right? TNA is supposed to be the wrestling alternative to WWE. They do the sports entertainment stuff while TNA does the in-ring stuff better than anyone. I’ve seen TNA shows that had some truly amazing matches on display, but I haven’t found any of that here. That was the one silver lining that I could look forward that kept me sane and I don’t even have THAT right now.
Kurt Angle defeated Ken Anderson via submission in a really boring a match between two former WWE guys. You’d figure a match between these two would be anything but boring; Angle’s one of the best wrestlers in this company and Anderson’s a pretty talented guy… but yeah, this is boring, it dragged for a bit… oh yeah, and it’s a match between two former WWE guys. This really screams TNA in my mind.
The main event between TNA World Champion AJ Styles and Abyss ends in a no-contest when Abyss chokeslams AJ through the ring. And then a bunch of old man come out to mace each other or something. Fuck this company.
If you’re going to watch this show, stop after the Ultimate X match because everything after that falls off a clip and sucks a billion dicks. Up until that point, however, the show had promise… but it’s TNA and promise was made to be broken, beaten, and battered into little tiny bits.
Fuck this company. And fuck Sean for the invite.
I wish I stayed home.
dtm666 