The original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles video game was one of four NES games that I got for my 10th birthday, the others being Super Mario Bros. 3, Castlevania II: Simon’s Quest, and The Punisher. And although the game was crazy difficult – the damn dam had me for a good long while before I stopped being stupid – I always enjoyed the heck out of that game. Even in more recent years when I re-purchased the game at a flea market, I still think that despite some of its flaws, it’s still a solid action game with a nice attempt at non-linear explorational gameplay. I also like the ability to swap between the four Turtles, as each play somewhat differently and have their uses… although admittedly, you’ll mostly be using Leonardo and Donatello due to their long-range weapons. But still, it’s a fun little game and I enjoyed this more than the two arcade-inspired sequels on the same system.
I never understood the hate towards the game recently. Wasn’t this high on the Nintendo Power charts for a good long while when the game was relatively new? What could have happened between then and now that has caused the game to garner such unnecessary and unwarranted hatred?
Oh right. The Angry Video Game Nerd said it was bad and people are basically sheep and agreed with him. And while I’ll admit that I found some of his videos funny and somewhat informative, the first time I saw this “review” back in 2006, I was pretty pissed off that he would trash a pretty good game. Some of the complaints he conveyed require suspension of ignorance (a term coined by former Yt reviewer Undercoverfilmer that was used in regards to his SF2010 video). And there are a couple points that, while are admittedly good points, can also be applied to a number of other games that can be considered good. But I guess because those games are more popular, those “flaws” can be overlooked, right?
Since this is essentially a response to what is laughingly called a review, I guess I can call this a counter-review; commenting on certain points while providing some additional points on the game. And you know what? I’ll even bring up some points from a “review” of the same game by Chris “The Irate Gamer” Bores… a review that most have noted to be suspiciously equavalent to the AVGN’s review, but has a couple points that can also be considered pretty stupid as well.
Oh… before anyone gets any ideas on starting the usual fanboy wars in the comments, don’t bother. I’ll be watching the comments like a hawk. There are many other places to fan that shit out – this isn’t one of them. With that said…
*For the sake of this posting, I will only be focusing on IG’s TMNT1 review and not the mini-reviews of the TMNT sequels. Those aren’t relevant to this posting.
IG – Irate fails history
It should be noted that IG erred when he says that Konami released TMNT for NES a few months after the arcade game. In actuality, the NES game came FIRST before the arcade release. That’s the main reason why it’s so drastically different from the rest of the games, which are arcade-style side-scrolling beat-em-up games.
The cover’s not an issue
To their credit, both reviewers smartly avoid bringing up the box art of the game, which is taken from an early issue of the original TMNT comic book… Issue 4, Second Printing, May 1987 to be exact. Then again, as a result, neither one comments on the choice of box art for the game, which would have indicated from the getgo that this wasn’t going to follow the cartoon exactly. In actuality, the game seems to be an amalgamation of elements from the 1987 cartoon, original comics, and a smattering of original content. That’s okay. Gives it a bit more variety than chopping away at foot soldiers and mousers for hours on end.
On a sidenote, I did wonder why Konami (or Ultra Games, the subsidiary who actually published the game) chose to go with this cover rather than a stock publicity image of the TMNT cartoon, which seemed to be the only reason that there’s a video game to begin with. But I didn’t really dwell on that too long.
AVGN – Annoying Close-To-Death indicator
AVGN complains about the sound effect warning you that you’re almost death and then asks it to shut up. I guess Metroid and Zelda are the only series that are allowed to annoy you with near-death audible warnings, aren’t they, Rolfe? At the least the one in TMNT does shut up after a few seconds; in the other games, you had to hear it forever until you got more health, your character died, or you strangle yourself to death in frustration.
IG – Gotta be some kind of record
IG runs into a tank on the map and claims that it has to be some kind of record. Well, it’s not. In fact, Dr. Ashen would like a word with you regarding quickest deaths in video games.
Seriously, dude. You didn’t just WALK into a steamroller, did you? You can’t possibly be this stupid.
AVGN – How the hell do I get up there?
AVGN complains that it’s impossible to get up there, and yet he points out just a bit later that you can use Donatello to attack upwards since he has the longest weapon. Alternatively, you could also use Leonardo to attack upwards, but he does less damage. In either case, you could get off the crate onto the floor and make short leaps while attacking upwards, hence insuring a quicker kill of the generic chainsaw wielding enemy. The last couple sentences makes it possible to get up there. Clearly, the AVGN sucks at suspension of ignorance and it’s not like he’s improved over the years (TARGET vs. KEN? How stupid do you really have to be?)
“And who’s that guy with the chainsaw? Remember him from Ninja Turtles? I sure don’t.” Actually, I do remember him. He was a random thug from the fifth season… seriously, what do I care if he was in the cartoon? For all I know, he could have been from the comics or one of those RPG games based on the comics.
IG – Select? You mean Start.
To switch between the Turtles, you press the START button. The Select button is used to switch between your Turtle’s main weapon and alternate sub-weapon that you might have picked up along the way. This is really basic stuff that you should have fixed, man.
One thing he did get right, though, is the Turtles’ usefulness… albeit it’s a bit flawed. Both Leo and Don have long weapons, while Raph and Mikey have short weapons. Raph’s attack comes out quickest and close to death, is able to dish out a bit more damage. For the most part, you’ll mostly use Raph and Mikey as auxilary players for when you need to pick up a weapon or go through tough spots.
AVGN – All that for a pizza?
AVGN comments on having to fight a bunch of bad guys for a stray pizza on the second floor of the lone building in Area 1. Why is this an issue exactly? You see the pizza above you the instant you enter the building. It’s not like you’re scrolling up to the fifth floor or anything, that pizza’s there from the very beginning. Are you really going to risk your neck for a pizza? Unless you want the extra practice, I doubt it. I’m surprised you didn’t go to the other stray sewer level with the Mr. Invincibility power-up at the end of the room; THAT’s an example of a waste of time for a worthless item since you don’t know what’s at the end of the room and that’s probably a better example. But I guess you needed to do that “Pizza Shit” joke.
*apologies to Italians and pizza lovers everywhere*
This is a mute point, though, since one of the sewer levels contains a pizza the minute you get in. And the best part about the game is that the items you pick up in a level regenerate when you leave. So you can grab the slice of pizza, leave and come back, and there’s the pizza again. And you can redo this over and over again. This becomes especially useful when you want to grab a certain set of ninja scrolls in the third area.
The Rocksteady trick
Both bring up a trick/glitch where Donatello could simply pick off Rocksteady’s health while standing on the crates. Only AVGN refers to Rocksteady by name. Neither one comments that if you kill Rocksteady from the crates, you magically drop down to the floor as you “rescue” April.
On a sidenote, certain AVGN nuts will often use this as “proof” of IG’s plagiarizing ways, but this is a trick that everyone knew about long before AVGN ever brought it up – a fact that the Nerd himself points out when he says “Here’s a trick I think everybody knows.” Hell, even I knew about the trick as a kid and that was back when I first got it! I mean, come on, the Rocksteady trick is about as much proof of plagiarism as “What a shitload of fuck!”*
*It’s not proof. Please shut the fuck up and don’t get me started on this bullshit. This could be its own Grumble Grumble entry in the near future.
AVGN – Turtles can’t swim?
Another common complaint, where in the third area, falling into a flowing river boots you from the level, even though in the dam level which preceded it, you could swim just fine. I never quite got that logic either – there should have been a means of jumping out quickly – but it didn’t really bother me for the most part, as I would actually use that to my advantage whenever I needed a short cut.
By the way, remember in Super Mario Bros when Mario was a world-class swimmer in World 2-2, but when he falls into the water in World 3-1, HE DIES? I guess in more popular NES titles, that kind of illogical is considerably more acceptable behavior, but in this game, it’s lousy programming. Double standards rule… god knows I have my share.
It should be noted that Irate didn’t complain about the Turtles’ sudden inability to swim. But then he’d probably mention the same things.
The damned Dam
This is another area both guys like to pick on, each with varying complaints. But ultimately it boils down to hard-to-avoid seaweed, obstacles galore, and a 2 minute 20 second time limit you have to disarm eight bombs. I’ll keep these separate since their complaints are mostly (but not necessarily) different.
To IG, of course they’re going to make the level more challenging. It’s a video game that costed like 40-60 bucks back in the day. They have to put something in there to keep you coming back for more and in my case, they succeeded because the dam level is a problem for me until I eventually conquered it. These early games require lots of memorization and trial & error to complete, which gives them their replay value.
To AVGN, it did occur to you that you can switch turtles mid-level, right? I mean, once I found this out, it made passing through this level quite a breeze… even if two turtles were down to two units of health by the end of it. At least IG makes use of this wonderful ability (mostly) and according to so many gamers, he’s not a legit gamer. So what’s your excuse?
AVGN – Turtle Van Health Quarrels
Now here’s the first legitimate concern about the game that AVGN has made. Why did the Party Wagon share the same health meter as the Turtle? I suppose it could be argued that no one would survive an exploding party wagon since they’d be burned to a crisp instantly, but it doesn’t have to be that way. You could have a momentary moment to escape the wagon and find another one parked elsewhere. So I have to wonder about that. Still, it’s a legit concern and it only took him damn near three minutes to bring it up.
Enemies that weren’t in the cartoon
Both AVGN and IG bring up the enemy selection and how most of the enemies in the game weren’t featured in the cartoon. Why is this even an issue? Yes, the game features enemies not from the source material. A good chunk of NES games based on movies or other licenses do this to keep the game from getting stale. Does that make it a bad game? No, it doesn’t.
I mean, take Batman for NES. Considered by many to be one of the finest games on the console and one of the few licensed games to actually be considered good… and yet a good majority of the enemies and scenarios in the games aren’t even in the movie. Does that make Batman a bad game, by proxy? Of course not.
At least AVGN brings up the omission of familiar characters such as Krang or Baxter Stockman and I’ll admit that as a kid, I was somewhat disappointment by the lack of more familiar characters for a while. But it didn’t really matter because at least they have Shredder, Bebop & Rocksteady, foot soldiers, mousers, and even the Technodrome after it got hit by a shrinking ray. If you prefer, you can refer to the boomerang-tossing bandits as clones of the Rat-King, because they sure look like him… or at least, I think so.
Actually, looking back, I find it rather funny that neither person made it to the Technodrome in either of their reviews, nor have they commented on Shredder’s appearance, which resembles his appearance from the original comic rather than his appearance from the cartoon. I dare say that Shredder’s mask is eerily similar to the Shredder from the first live-action film. But I digress.
AVGN – “Why don’t you hear the Ninja Turtles theme song?”
What? You mean the short jingle you hear at the end of each area isn’t enough? Be glad there’s SOME semblance of the theme song in the game; most licensed NES titles don’t even have that much (Back to the Future, Batman, the two Terminator games, etc.)
IG says “Jump from the wrong place and you’ll fall to the ground.”
Gee, thanks for pointing that out, Obvious Gamer. I never would have known if you hadn’t told me. Where would I be without you?!
Sarcasm, people.
But the way he mentions this, it almost seems as if he’s convinced you’re going to die if you fall off a building. Well, you don’t. You re-appear on the map screen with one less unit of life. In fact, the only times you die instantly is if you fall into the fire in Area 4, if you get caught in that weird purple plant in Area 2, or if the damn dam blows up.
Oh yeah, there’s also…
The hard-to-reach pizza in Area 4
Just a not-so-quick thought on that pizza scene:
When I first saw that scene with the unattainable pizza in IG’s review, I did find it too similar to AVGN’s review. So yeah, I can agree that this is a rather blatant act of plagiarism. Looking back, though, it clearly shows Bores didn’t know what he was doing; not because he copied certain AVGN material, but because he copied THAT particular scene… which was one of the scenes that originally convinced me that this Nintendo Nerd person was a fucking idiot.
Even years later, when I knew better and realized the whole thing was an act, it’s one of those scenes that come across more as being blatantly stupid than it does funny.
Here’s the deal: you’re falling down rooms with spiked walls closing in on you. One room contains a weapon of sort (don’t remember what), the next room contains the undeservingly-infamous pizza.
Both reviews complain about this bit. Both reviews spotlight the pizza in question (Thank you, that was very necessary, by the way – it’s hard to distinguish a pink pizza box from a pale purple wall). Both reviews wonder whose bright idea it was to put a pizza there. Actually, I do wonder what brilliant mind would place a pizza in that particular sweet spot. It was such a brilliant move to put that pizza there and bait little kids to getting that pizza shortly before they ate spike wall in the face.
IN DA FACE!
As a kid, I never reached for that pizza. Even back then, I knew it was a trap. If I wasn’t going for an easier weapon, I’m sure as hell ain’t gonna get a pizza that’s more deviously positioned to get me killed. Besides, the Giant Mouser boss that awaits you at the end of the stage doesn’t really do much and you can exploit a glitch to kill it quickly.
And even if it was possible for me to get it, I’m not going to risk one of my turtles for a pizza. They’re all loaded with ninja scrolls at this point, which are generally hard to come by given their destructive power.
Granted, there ARE spots where items are unnecessarily hard to obtain (AVGN shows a clip of Area 3 where there’s a half-pizza in a narrow space that your turtle is barely able to fit through outside of sheer luck – this would have been a far better scene for IG to rip off) but most competent people can see that this scene in question is a very obvious trap for bait the more ignorant people.
So, of course Bores is going to get it anyway and die. Thanks for proving my point, dumbass.
AVGN says, “You can just walk over it?”
Oh really? This shocked me about as much as when I discovered I could run over narrow gaps in Super Mario Bros.
And that wasn’t sarcasm, either. There was a time when I didn’t know I could run over gaps in SMB. Nowadays, I run circles around those gaps… well, not really.
So that sort of thing is acceptable in SMB, but not so in TMNT? A bit of a double-standard there, isn’t it, Jimmy?
AVGN – What a shitload of fail
The “Shitload of Fuck” moment proceeds after AVGN mentions the respawning enemies and non-respawning pizza (which doesn’t respawn until you leave the level). This is another legit concern, but not one that breaks the game. When you clear a screen of enemies, there is a chance that a new set of enemies (different from what appeared before) will show up. Each level usually has two or three sets of enemies and once you figure this out, you can develop appropriate strategies just fine. “What a shitload of fuck?” More like “a shitload of fail.”
Cowabunga-something-something
A bit of controversy here…
After discovering that “you can just walk over it,” AVGN calls the game scum, drinks a bit of rolling rock and then goes into what is now referred to as the TMNT rant. And it goes something like this:
“Cowabunga? Cowa fucking piece of dog shit! This game is diarrhea coming out of my dick. This game is as appealing as a fucking oozing fest of dirty fucking sewer rat shit. I’ve had more fun playing with dog turds. Shredder’s my ass and Splinter’s my balls. This game is an inside-out asshole regurgitating putrid anal fecal matter. I’d rather fucking yank all the hairs out of my scrotum. I’d rather drink diarrhea vomited out of a buffalo’s anus. It sucking fucks. It fucking sucks. It fucking blows. It’s a piece of shit… and I don’t like it.”
An epic rant that sold me on Rolfe’s genius. Another source of plagiarism for IG? Well, maybe, but not really.
After IG dies in the seaweed portion of the dam level – he might have fared if he didn’t flail his controller around like a fucking idiot – he pulls the game out of the NES, takes a bit out of it, and then says this inspiring diatrabe:
“What a piece of Cowabunga shit!”
Really? You’re using that as proof of IG plagiarizing AVGN? Nerd does a whole rant, IG does, like, one line I could probably fart out in my sleep, and that’s considered plagiarism. I understand the concept of plagiarism doesn’t limit itself to exact words or situations, but this is a stretch. The guy utters one line versus a rant that lasts one minute… and that’s “the same idea” and thus it’s “plagiarism?”
I mean, sure, it’s not original. I’d give you that… but neither was turning Cowabunga into vulgar material. That kind of usage, while not as common or widely documented, has been done before – god knows I’ve said Cowa-Dunga in regards to crappy TMNT products many times and no doubt have continued to do so in more recent products.
So yeah, changing a long-winded vulgar rant into a single line with only one thing in common? Sorry, but that ain’t plagiarism.
That’s like telling me NC17 plagiarizes AVGN’s drinking of Rolling Rock by drinking Coke… which is actually a dumber comparison because NOBODY has EVER DRANK DURING THEIR VIDEO GAMES PRIOR TO THE FUCKING NERD?! SERIOUSLY…
Right… thanks, brain, for that wonderful insight.
Of course, the Nerd didn’t come up with beer and video games. That belongs to the original Game Room, the 1999-2000 predecessor webshow to the current Classic Game Room HD. Not the same thing, but a similar idea.
So I guess the Nerd plagiarized Mark Bussler and Dave Crosson, huh? SACRILEGE!
But seriously… I honestly don’t get it.
Conclusion
While it can be argued that the Irate Gamer has copied and stolen aspects of the Angry Nintendo Nerd’s TMNT review to add to his own set of moronic arguments, the only issue I have with Bores is that he’s essentially a sheep who decided to bash the game simply because the Nerd did it and not because he actually played the game all that much. that many of the original arguments of the Nintendo Nerd are equally moronic and sometimes applicable to many classic Nintendo games. The only real significant piece of work to come out of the Nerd’s video is a profanity-lace rant and the only real significant piece of work to come out of IG’s video is a migrane, as he continues with three more “reviews” of good games and makes up lousy reasons for their shittiness.
Both reviews, when viewed from a purely parodic and entertainment standpoint, are very good and can provide some chuckles… admittedly, the Nerd’s video excels at this more than IG’s video. But as actual reviews, they are pretty piss poor. Outside of the “complaints” that aren’t game-crippling in any way, there’s nothing to tell me that whether the game is good or not. The game tells me nothing. People like to say that Rolfe’s video is more entertaining and informative than Bores since Rolfe is an actual longtime gamer and Bores isn’t, but when a video comprises of excessive swearing, rambling rants on digestive systems, and meager superficial complaints that could be applied to any similar game of perceived higher quality, then the whole gamer/nongamer card becomes irrelevant because you’re entranced more by the guy’s potty mouth than whatever he actually has to say. Even moreso when the whole thing is an ACT.
Let me just re-iterate that the reason the Nerd got popular was because his shtick was getting angry at old games. You don’t have to be a gamer to scream your lungs out like a fucking idiot and for the majority of the series, that was the Nerd’s deal. It’s nice to know that he DOES know what he’s talking about (it certainly helps) and that most of his later stuff has more informative bits, but are you really tuning in to watch him dictate stuff that you could easily find on a random website somewhere with more detailed information or are you watching him to swear like a sailor at a crappy game and drop artificial feces on a guy in a Bugs Bunny costume?
There are many reviewers out there on YouTube that are FAR BETTER reviewers than the popular guys out there, mostly because they make actual reviews. They point out the pros and cons of a product, maybe add a little info on its functionality, and then conclude with some final thoughts as to whether the product is worth the money and who it’d be likely to apply. Unfortunately, these guys are often overshadowed by the guys who decide that the best way to make a review is to add excessive expletives, “guest” characters, storylines, special effects galore, and crossovers… and get POPULAR because of it.
People like to point to the Irate Gamer for destroying the integrity of reviewing, but truthfully, the Angry Video Game Nerd did that rather nicely when he got popular. The rest just followed along for the ride.
I’m sorry this dragged for as long as it did, but it’s something I needed to get off my chest… and yet I have more to say. But we’ll save that for another time.
Next GG, I’ll cover some other review that I have issues with.
Later.
dtm666 