So, hey. Did you hear? Dennis Rodman won the Celebrity Championship Wrestling competition show created by Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff. If that isn’t a scripted ending, then I don’t know what is.
With that said, here’re my picks for tonight’s amazing Royal Rumble PPV.
WWE Women’s Championship
Beth Phoenix (c) vs. Melina
Hey look. A feud over the Women’s title that I almost care about… believe me, ALMOST is the best these girls will get from me. Anyway, I’m picking Beth to win this match because of the Rosa thing… that and I don’t see Melina getting a win at a second-tier PPV like the Royal Rumble… wait, what?
Pick: Beth Phoenix
Winner: Melina… okay. (0-1)
Extremely Crappy Wrestling Championship
Jack Swagger (c) vs. Matt Hardy
Okay, maybe it’s because I don’t watch the third-tier show anymore, but who the fuck is Jack Swagger? I don’t know, but here’s a possible answer… the winner of the match. Not a Hardy night.
Pick: Jack Swagger
Winner: Jack Swagger… no surprise there. (1-1)
Battle of the Johns match for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship
John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield
“Oh noes! JBL is challenging John Cena for the World title… and he has Shawn Michaels under his employ! Surely, Cena won’t be able to overcome the odds! There’s no way! CENA IS DONE FOR!” Um, yeah. That was sarcasm, why do you ask?
Pick: John Cena
Winner: John C… You know what? Take a fucking guess, man. (2-1)
World Wrestling Entertainment Championship
Jeff Hardy (champion) vs. Edge
I think it’s safe to say that with all the accidents Jeff Hardy has been having, Edge will likely regain the title here. I’d hate to say that this title reign has been a joke if the only significant things to happen were two stupid “accidents”, but this is slowly reminding me of the way Rey Mysterio was treated when he was champion. Sorry, Jeff. It was a good moment when you won, but it’s looking likely that you’ll lose this one… and believe me, it’s best to lose it now before you become even more of a joke.
Pick: Edge
Winner: Edge (3-1)
Predicted Royal Rumble winner: Triple H
Royal Rumble Winner: Randy Orton. Honestly didn’t see that coming. (3-2)
dtm666 