Original Posting Date: December 31, 2008
DTM Blog Post No. 1078
Not much to say here, since I’ve already said quite a bit back then…
Generally speaking, 2008 was a bit of a mixed bag. If you were a political history whore, something magical happened down south. Otherwise, you were a Quebecer voting twice in a calendar year within a three-month span. But let’s not dwell on that… the year’s done. Let’s move on… but not before looking back on this past year of mediocrity and historical crap.
THE YEAR’S WINNERS
Some good stuff has happened to or involving these particular targets during 2008.
BARRACK OBAMA
Newly-elected president of the United States is HALF-BLACK… he’s not a BLACK MAN… he has a WHITE MOTHER… with that having been said, the election of Obama is one of historical significance and if you really need me to elaborate on this further… man, you just haven’t been around here much, have you? Congratulations to Obama for the win… now let’s see what he can do and then judge his worthiness to clean Bush’s shit up.
(2011 Update: It’s 2011… I’ve long since stopped caring. Wow… I really need to stop riding with the hype trains here.)
COMIC BOOK MOVIES
Out of all the Marvel movies released, Iron Man seems to be the best one. Despite not reading the original comics, I enjoyed Iron Man. It was a very slick, polished, and kick-ass movie. It’s too bad Marvel’s greatness with the Iron Man movie doesn’t translate to their comics, which continue to suck hard. Meanwhile, I also enjoyed the Dark Knight, which seemed like a good follow-up to Batman Begins. Again, it’s too bad this awesomeness wasn’t around a decade ago when comics were hitting their stride (and tumbled quickly after).
Wii
Yes, Nintendo. I ponied up the cash to buy one of your cutesy machines… and I gotta say, I enjoy the Virtual Console, I enjoy a couple of WiiWare games available, and Wii Sports is much more enjoyable and fun than EA Sport’s annual recycled fuckfests that somehow sell a gazillion copies simply because people are stupid. While some will claim that the Wii is nothing more than a slightly better Gamecube with gimmicky controllers, the gimmick is actually a step closer to that evolution in video games than the other two systems are. Yeah, the console doesn’t have any worthwhile retail releases (or at least, anything that you can’t get cheaper on a PS2), but once people see the potential, they’ll start churning out games… too bad the only reason I bought this was because of one game.
(On a sidenote, most hardcore gamers will cry foul at the Wii’s entry onto the Winner’s list when it’s clear that the X-Box 360 and even the PS3 have much better games than the Wii, which mostly comprise of shovelware. I’m not going to dispute that… however, I didn’t buy those systems. I bought a Wii – therefore, it’s on the list. Maybe when the PS3 has some decent games worthy of my cash and when the Red Ring of Death becomes a near-permanent footnote in history, I may consider picking one of those systems up and they’ll probably be on the list then. Until then… not on the list.)
MEGA MAN 9
I’ll be honest. The first time I saw the trailer, I shed a tear of joy. I mean… look at it. It’s 8-bit Mega Man, just the way I remember it. It’s fucking awesome regardless of what anybody says. A classic return to what made Mega Man great without frivolous use of high-end graphics, sound, and stupid gimmicks like the fucking snowboarding sequences in 8… Best part is that it plays great and would have been a worthy addition to the NES library had it been released back in the day. In addition to the main game and challenges, downloadable content also included a playable Proto Man, harder difficulty settings, and an endless attack mode which places you in an endless stage to see how far you can go. Truly a wonderful piece of retro greatness even though it was made in 2008. Simply beautiful.
THE CHRIS JERICHO/SHAWN MICHAELS FEUD
For the most part, wrestling has been abysmally boring this year. But if there was any one single wrestling feud worth watching and making a DVD out of, it would be this one. Undoubtedly a candidate for – if not the undisputed – Feud of The Year, Chris Jericho and Shawn Michaels not only kicked ass with their fantastic matches together, but also made you care about the angles with a cleverly booked storyline and really deep emotional stuff. It didn’t have the drive or hype of another major feud that kickstart the promotion ten years ago, but it’s still a wonderful story and it was very much a classic wrestling archtype instead of… whatever WWE produces these days. I have to say that there hasn’t been anything this good in years coming out of the WWE braintrust – congrats to Chris and Shawn for a kick-ass storyline… keep up the good work and hope to see a sequel.
CM PUNK/JEFF HARDY
During the summer, CM Punk captured his first World title on Monday Night Raw. Just a couple weeks ago, Jeff Hardy won his first WWE title. It’s absolutely amazing that despite nothing particularly special happening this year, we got new blood holding the gold. Tis a shame Punk’s reign didn’t last long (although longer than most people thought) and it looks like Jeff’s reign won’t be a long one either.
(2011 Update: Funny that I would pair these two together in the 2008 list, since the two would feud over the World Title in the summer of 2009.)
THE AVGN vs. NOLSTAGIA CRITIC DEBATE
A series of insults, fights, and reviews has resulted in a great ‘Net production pitting James Rolfe’s popular Nerd character against Doug Walker’s newcomer Critic character. If anything, it made people more aware of ThatGuyWithTheGlasses.com and the wonderful stuff to come out of Doug’s mind. Speaking of which…
THATGUYWITHTHEGLASSES.COM
Truly fucking genius, the site (and the man behind the site) has so much funny material going for it that I can’t really sum it all up properly. Whether it’s a critic ripping apart a nolstagic movie or a clueless bum reviewing the latest new movie, you can’t go wrong with the reams of material leaking out of this site. Pure fun.
(2011 Update: This was back when TGWTG had actually enjoyable and entertaining content… which is more than what I can say for what’s there now.)
THE YEAR’S LOSERS
Quite a few losers this year…
SARAH PALIN
Sarah Palin’s bid for the Presidency was thankfully thwarted by Americans when they voted back in November. No doubt the world is ready for a woman to take office – imagine the support Hilary got during her campaign – but Palin’s lack of knowledge on various issues makes us wish McCain picked the most stereotypically-offensive gay man to be running mate. Also, there’s something about her that just irks me… oh well, we won’t have to hear from her for another four months.
JOHN McCAIN
Forget the fact he lost the election – that’s not why he’s here. He’s here because he ditched Letterman one night… and that’s just bad.
INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL
Oh poor Dr. Jones. Once a proud and legendary icon, he came out of cinematic retirement to be involved in a really lacking film featuring alien skulls, fake Russian villainesses, nuclear refrigerators, and finding out that banging Marion Ravenwood produced Shia LeBeouf – or however the fuck you pronounce that name – as an offspring, who is called Mutt. Yeah, that sounds… wrong. Just… no. On the other hand, it’s still better than Howard The… no, I’m not playing that card.
PETA
Don’t these guys have anything better to do than to do a really bloody version of Cooking Mama – you know, the one that has you beat the shit out of a turkey before cutting off his head? I mean… seriously? Cooking Mama? There’re tons of other “big game hunting” simulators out there that slaughters more animals than in real life and you go after a game where people prepare meals from processed meats… seriously? I think MovieBob a.k.a. The Game Overthinker said it best: “Fuck that and fuck you, you hypocritical, sprout-mongering, bomb-throwing, people-whoring wastes of skin.”
(2011 Update: Peta has struck a number of times with more knock-off titles like Super Tanooki Suit 2D, where a flying Mario is being chased by a skinned raccoon in a bloody Mushroom Kingdom… I wish I was joking.)
IRATE GAMER
This guy’s on the list because he missed a few typos on his videos… you know, minor stuff that shouldn’t happen when you’re putting in two months of working into one skit that lasts roughly ten minutes. Yeah, I know he was on the winner list in the 2007 lookback, but a year of long delays and really subpar episodes that I could have done easily with Windows Movie Maker (just without the special effects and bluescreen crap) really turned me around on this guy. Also, the guy seems to be the inspiration for something called Bores ‘N Doors, which has a bunch of YouTubers making their videos based on a scene in one of his videos… it seems to me that these guys desperately need to get a life which doesn’t involve them making videos about Chris Bores and rather requires them to concentrate their efforts on making their own effective products.
ANY FUCKING CANADIAN/QUEBEC ELECTION IN 2008
Seriously, enough! The only time I want to think about an election is in four years. Maybe five. ENOUGH WITH THE ELECTIONS. When some of our forefathers died for our right to vote, I don’t think they meant for this right to be abused so some moron can win a fucking popularity contest in the hopes of getting a fucking majority government. There’s a reason you suddenly have high approval ratings; because you’re doing things that isn’t going to defeat your minority government and also because people like keeping you on a leash. Two elections passed by and NOTHING CHANGED! Enough already!
FRANK MILLER
Listen, Frank. You know how much your classic stuff is adored, but after Dark Knight Strikes Again, IDW’s recent adaptation of your version of Robocop, and even your recent flick based on Will Eisner’s classic Spirit comics (which I sadly admit to not seeing, but reviews have been brutal, man)… I think you can forget about anyone having anything good to say about your work these days. You have definitely lost your marbles, sir.
BRUCE KALISH
I haven’t seen Jungle Fury, the latest Power Rangers series, simply because this man was involved. If that isn’t enough to earn a year’s worst, then I don’t know what is. The good piece of news I could force out of this is that he’s not coming back for the next one… which may either be a good thing or not.
(2011 Update: Wow. TWO Ranger seasons I have yet to watch… and still have no desire to watch.)
NICOTINEALIEN/ARMAKE21/WHATEVER HIS NAME IS NOW
Ooh… blasphemy, right? I’ll admit it; I enjoy some of the guy’s work, even though I feel he swears a bit too much. But I enjoy it… but he’s already has two YouTube accounts suspended already and trying to find all his stuff is practically a full-time job in itself. Dude, you’ve got some good stuff there and you can take your time making top-quality stuff, but for Rolfe’s sake, man, get a fucking site and consolidate everything there. I don’t care if it’s a page with links to the video pages, just… something! You got a ton of fans, just have something out there to let them know you’re alive; not just some account on a little-known video site where the videos hardly ever load half the time.
Oh, and keep up the good work.
(2011 Update: Should have been a middle grounder here. And “for Rolfe’s sake?” Are you fucking serious, bro?!)
THE MIDDLE GROUNDERS
Yes, it’s the return of the middle grounders (not quite winners, not quite losers either) after making a hiatus in 2007.
NEW TMNT COMICS
Yay, Volume 4 is being started up again! Yay, it’s free online! Boo, it’s ten bucks (American) for a printed copy! Seriously, I don’t know, but okay… whatever works.
(2011 Update: Volume 4’s restart didn’t last long and the TMNT property was later sold to Viacom. There’s an ongoing comic from IDW written by co-creator Kevin Eastman. Not too shabby.)
THE FORCE UNLEASHED
Closest thing I’ll be playing is the PS2 version and to be honest, the game is just ok. I mean, the story is fairly good, the action is decent, it’s fun killing things, but the main gripe I have is that your character – who is supposed to be this bad-ass apprentice to Darth Vader – ends up turning good and getting killed at the end… sorry to spoil it for anyone who still hasn’t played or heard of it, but I play a game expecting to slay Jedis on a regular basis and I end up fighting stormtroopers for the most part… still, it’s a fun game – just not deserving of the hype.
SCREWATTACK.COM
Masters of the Internet? Um, yeah, okay. As much as I enjoyed their old stuff, their newer stuff is really not up to snuff. I don’t know, maybe I expect too much. Oh well, at least their Video Game Vaults and Top 10s are still good… and thank god for AVGN, huh, fellas?
THE GAME HEROES
I gotta admit… there’s a lot of reservation of even posting this here, but it has to be done. Honestly, TGH has done some entertaining stuff and most of their videos are actually more personable and more enjoyable than the Screwattack stuff, but these guys have got to separate their videos into individual pages. I don’t mind the long loading of the videos, but whenever there’s more than say one, it tends to hang my browser. Lots of win here, but that one nagging flaw kills it for me. Sorry, guys.
(2011 Update: Both sites have long since lost their luster with me, but they seem to be doing well on their own… so, yay?)
Anyway, that’s it for 2008. Here’s to a more-than-average 2009. Happy New Year, kids.
dtm666 