2007 Introduction
Haven’t done one of these predictions in quite some time, so excuse me for dusting off the cobwebs. Anyway, you should know the drill by now: I list all the advertised matches and give my thoughts on who wins and what the actual match might entail. My only gripe seems to be that a lot of the matches here have been seen before in some form, but nonetheless, it looks fairly decent and it’ll be interesting to see how they handle the two returns.
The “Didn’t We Have This Match Last Year” Match
Chavo Guerrero vs. The RETURN of Rey Mysterio
This one’s easy. Barring all the external issues and taste management of last year’s shitfest, Rey should take the win because he’s making the big comeback while Chavo should just fade into obscurity until the shadow of losing his title to a midget is faded. That’ll take about five to ten years tops. Of course, if their previous matches were any indication, this should be good.
WINNER: Rey wins. I felt this wasn’t as good as their previous encounters, but hey, it’s his first match back, so we’ll let it pass. 1-0
The “Didn’t We Have This Match at Wrestlemania 19” Match
King Booker vs. The RETURN of Triple H
It’s really sad to see two guys who were legends in their prime wrestle a match when they’re past their point of usefulness. Let’s face it: Booker T, as great a wrestler as he is, can’t deliver the goods as well as he did (although he can still go) while Trips isn’t all that reliable as we await the next big quad tear in another six years time. Again, gotta give the duke to he of the three Hs simply because he’s making the big comeback.
WINNER: HHH wins. 2-0
The “Didn’t We Have This Match on Smackdown A Few Weeks Ago” Match
Kane vs. Finlay
It’s really sad to see two guys who were legends in their prime wrestle a match when they’re past their point of usefulness… wait a minute, I just said that already! In this case, we don’t have to worry because Finlay can still go and Kane can give a good match or two if he can be bothered to do so. So let’s give the duke to Kane.
WINNER: Kane wins the match despite interference from Finlay’s little bastard midget. A fairly solid brawl and a good opener. 3-0
The “We Don’t Know What To Do With These Guys So Let’s Throw Them Together In A Match” Match for the IC title
Umanga (champion) vs. Carlito vs. Ken Kennedy
Since I’m not really in the mood for witty banter or the like, let’s just be brave and say Umaga retains. But really, at this point, it could go either way. But let’s go with Umaga because Carlito’s not so cool anymore (not to mention he doesn’t need more IC gold) and Kennedy… well, he’s just gotten stale. Man, what is it with these Smackdown guys when they move to RAW? When they’re on Smackdown, they’re this awesome thing that you expect to do big things. And then they move to RAW and they start to suck and be uninteresting. It’s a strange feeling.
WINNER: Umanga retains. Bleh match. 4-0
The “Shit Break – No Comment” Match
Divas Battle Royal – Winner Gets A Women’s Title Shot
Well, like I said… no comment.
WINNER: Anyone who avoided this match, I suppose. But in case you care, Beth Phoenix is the new contender. 4-0
The “Didn’t We Have This Match on ECW Every Other Week” Match for the ECW World Title Match
John Morrison (champion) vs. CM Punk
John Morrison has done well for himself now that he ditched the crappy music and annoying skank Melina. While ECW has been less than stellar, the focus on young guys has made for a better show. The matches that these guys had are actually very good, which is surprising considering one of the talents used to name himself after WCW’s flagship show. As far as a winner, I gotta believe Punk’s night is tonight. He can’t leave this feud with a third straight PPV loss and let’s face it: Morrison doesn’t really need the belt.
WINNER: Morrison retains the title. Oops. 4-1
The “Didn’t We Have This Match Last Month… Actually, No We Didn’t” Match for the (Smackdown) WWE World Heavyweight Title
Batista vs. Great Khali (champion)
Last year, Batista challenged for the world title and got a DQ win. This year… I’d say Batista wins… although it’ll be more likely to be a DQ win than a title win, but a win of some form nonetheless.
WINNER: Batista wins via DQ. Knew they’d take the easy way out. 5-1
The “Never Had This Match” Match for the (RAW) WWE Spinner Belt Title
Randy Orton vs. John Cena (champion)
Orton wins and ends John Useless’ reign of terror.
WINNER: Cena wins… fucking hell. 5-2
Overall, a nice little show. Can’t say I care for the end result, but still a nice show.
Later.
dtm666 