This would be the third Backlash in a row that I’m doing predictions for. Doesn’t really mean much, but let’s get that bit out of the way. This year, Backlash features superstars from RAW, Smackdown, and that other show. In a strange occurance, all matches are title matches. Not sure that means anything, but whatever.
WWE Women’s Championship
Melina vs. Mickie James
So after the crapfest featuring Ashley the Tranny at Wrestlemania 23, we return to some semblance of real women’s wrestling. Unfortunately, it’s not enough for me to care, especially considering the lack of talent among the dead weight that is the WWE Divas.
Pick: Mickie James
Winner: Melina. Ho-hum. Who cares? Next. (0-1)
United States Championship
Chris Benoit vs. Montel Vontavious Porter
Since Benoit took the duke last month, it’s only fair that the Mighty Montel Porter Ranger should get the win this month. Some people are claiming that Porter is improving and while I doubt there is any significant improvement, I can at least say that Porter isn’t boring the piss out of me, unlike some other punks. So there’s some points there.
Pick: Montel Vontavious Porter
Winner: Benoit wins again. Surprise surprise. Didn’t see that one coming. Watch Porter’s win happen on free TV. (0-2)
World Tag Team Championship
Matt & Jeff Hardy vs. Cade & Murdoch
This’ll be interesting. I need a good bathroom break anyway.
Pick: The Hardys
Winners: The Hardys. (1-2)
Last Man Standing Match for the World Heavyweight Championship
The Undertaker vs. Dave Batista
Last Man Standing? Why the fuck did they book Last Man Standing? Is a straight-out street fight or Hell In A Cell too difficult or too creative for them to book? Last Man Standing matches sometimes work, while oftentimes they’re boring as hell. Cena and Umaga somehow managed a decent LMS match, but more often than not, LMS matches suck the life and energy out of a crowd whenever they stop an endless brawl to count to ten.
Pick: Undertaker
Winner: Nobody. Match ends in a double countout. You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. A double-countout?! What the hell? (1-3)
3-On-1 Handicap Match for the ECW World Title
Bobby Lashley vs. Mr. Vincent Kennedy McMahon, Shane McMahon & Umaga
Do you really think that Lashley is going to lose this one?
Pick: Lashley
Winner: Vince McMahon… yes, Vince McMahon is YOUR ECW champion. Then again, why would it surprise me? It had to happen sooner or later. (1-4)
Fatal 4-Way Match for the WWE Championship
John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Edge vs. Randy Orton
Quick cut-and-paste job. Do you really think that John Useless is going to lose this one?
Pick: Useless Cena
Winner: Useless Cena retains. The guy’s so useless HBK had to help him win… by accident. Yeah, right. (2-4)
That’s it. What a shitty show.
dtm666 