Two years ago, WWE had attempted a rather unique Pay-Per-View experiment… no, not the Tuesday PPV – THAT experiment had been done many years ago featuring a paltry rematch between Undertaker and Hulk Hogan. I’m talking about the interactive aspect of a show where fans have some control over what goes on in the match, either by choosing stipulations or choosing challengers to championships. Last year’s show seemed to be enough of a success that they’re trying it again this year. Now, to reiterate what I had said in the Taboo Tuesday 2004 ramblings, this wasn’t the greatest PPV I had seen, but it was something different and unique that broke the monotony of PPVs, all which seemed to booked in the same way.
Others might feel differently, but I thought that the Taboo Tuesday concept was a novel idea and shows that WWE are willing to take chances and try something different when they feel like it. Earlier this year, WWE suspended one of their regular PPVs and replaced it with an ECW one, a show that I can say was pretty entertaining. Not because the wrestling was any good, mind you, but mostly because it was a different offering from what we are commonly used to seeing from McWrestling.
So they tried again with Taboo Tuesday 2005 and the magic wasn’t quite there. I personally haven’t seen the show so I can’t comment on it like I could the first one. Vince, being the genius that he is, decreed that the magic was there, but nobody would want to buy a Tuesday PPV. Of course, that couldn’t be the case in actuality, but Vince is a genius and he’s always right. That’s why he’s a certified billionaire.
So this year, we get Cyber Sunday. The concept is the same though; matches are booked, fans vote for whatever crap they force down our throats and sit back to see what happens. Unlike the previous two entries, some of these choices aren’t ridiculous (the Women’s Title match has STIPULATION choices and not choice of what kind of porn costume they’ll be wearing during the match) so there’ll be some semblance of control over the matches. Like the 2005 edition, this’ll be a regular prediction sheet… I’ll put down what I’ve voted for, what I think would get the vote, and of course, who wins the frickin’ matches. So without further adieu, let’s get this thing done, shall we?
VISCERA & CHARLIE HAAS vs. THE HIGHLANDERS vs. CADE & MURDOCH vs. CRYME TYME
My Pick: Texas Tornado
Predicted Pick: Fatal Four-Way
Predicted Winner: Cryme Tyme
My reasoning behind picking Texas Tornado as opposed to Fatal Four Way or Tag-Team Turmoil? Well, it’s been a while since we’ve seen a Texas Tornado match and it’s due for a ressurection. Unfortunately, most WWE fans (referred to from this point as drones) have no clue what a Tornado match or Turmoil match is, so they’ll pick the obvious Fatal Four-Way one-fall match. As for Cryme Tyme being the predicted winner, they’re the newest act right now in spite of their horrid characters – generic stereotypical gangstas seemingly ripped from those frickin’ Friday movies or films of similar ilk. Highlanders were fun, but aren’t really amounting to much, Cade & Murdoch had their chance, and I have no frickin’ clue what’s the deal with Vis and Haas. Remember when Haas was part of the World’s Greatest Tag-Team. Now he’s part of the World’s Neglected Tag-Team… and for good reason. I personally can’t stand Cryme Tyme, but then I couldn’t stand the Spirit Squad and before long, their goofy characters started to grow on me… a lot similar to JBL. Anyway, the new guys win it and that’s my story.
WORLD TAG-TEAM TITLE BOUT
SPIRIT SQUAD (C) VS. RIC FLAIR AND ???
My Pick: Dusty Rhodes
Predicted Pick: Roddy Piper
Predicted Winner: Spirit Squad
Speaking of the Spirit Squad, they’re defending their titles (yes, they do that once in a while) against Ric Flair and a partner of the fans’ choice. Admittingly, the potential team of Ric Flair and Dusty Rhodes seems interesting and it would be nice to see them on the same side for once instead of against each other. Of course, I almost expect Piper to be chosen instead because the Sarge already had his match-a-year honored. Either way, Spirit Squad retains… although if IRS was a choice, I would have taken him and they wouldn’t have stood a chance. I doubt the Squad paid their taxes this year.
WWE WOMEN’S TITLE FINALS
LITA vs. MICKEY JAMES
My Pick: No-DQ
Predicted Pick: Diva Lumberjack
Predicted Winner: Who cares?
Interesting tidbit: prior to Raw, they had the voting ready for the match between Lita and Mickey, allowing you to choose either a submission match, no dq match, or the quaint diva lumberjack match. By doing that, they had inadvertently spoiled the match between Lita and Maria to determine a No. 1 Contender. Nice little fuck-up right there, guys. Almost like that one time Michael Cole ruined Wrestlemania XV by accidentally-on-purpose give out the result of the main event (although to be fair to Cole, we all knew Austin was gonna win.) As far as the match goes, I’ll possibly vote for a no-dq match since submission matches are not the forte of the women these days. However, the mindless drones will probably vote for the Diva Lumberjack match. Now, considering Trish Stratus is gone and (assuming reports are correct) Lita could be very well on the way out of WWE to focus on her band, I’m not even going to touch this match with a prediction. So I’ll just leave it with the polite result… Who gives a shit who wins? As long as we get one last great match of women’s wrestling before the division is completely filled with talentless chicks with about as much skill and entertainment value as my pinkie… and my pinkie isn’t all that exciting to begin with. Mickie James may be an honest-to-God wrestler, but I doubt that she can carry a bunch of boring divas to barely above a 3-star match in her later title defenses… assuming she wins the belt, of course.
Sorry about the tangent… on the other hand, that’s about the most I ever had to say about women’s wrestling in WWE. Let’s get back to the PPV.
WWE INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE BOUT
JEFF HARDY (c) vs. ???
My Pick: Carlito
Predicted Pick: Carlito
Predicted Winner: Jeff Hardy
You have a choice between Carlito Carribean Cool, Johnny Nitro, or Shelton Benjamin… personally speaking though, I think this is a limited choice set, considering the 20+ choices you had for the IC title match at the original Taboo Tuesday. Anyway, chances are many people will be choosing Carlito as the chosen one and so will I, but either way you slice it, ol’ Jeffykins is retaining the title.
UMAGA VS. ???
My Pick: Kane
Predicted Pick: Kane
Predicted Winner: Kane
Umaga has issued an open challenge through his manager, and three candidates are available for fans to choose… not quite open there, is it? Anyway, your choices were Kane, Chris Benoit, or ECW’s Sandman. But my vote will be the same as the drones: Kane. On top of that, Kane will win this one. My reasoning is simple: Kane has the history with Umaga, Kane needs to get revenge for the loss that forced him into a feud with the Power Ranger-ripoff Mortimer Vasoline Porter on Smackdown. Kane needs this match more than Chris Benoit (who already has a US title on him) and the Sandman, who’s been floundering in the new ECW ever since it started open again… no, I won’t go in there here. That’s a topic for another day.
DX VS. EDGE AND RANDY ORTON
Who Will Be Special Referee: Eric Bischoff
Predicted Pick: Vince McMahon
Predicted Winner: Edge/Orton
Around this time, Triple H and Shawn Michaels had reformed the infamous tandem that rioted the WWF back in the 90s and began to give the McMahon family a headache. Their latest opponents: Edge and Randy Orton, who felt the duo had sideline their paths towards destiny. Anywhoo, fans got to choose who would be the ref for this match: Vince McMahon, Coachman, or Eric Bischoff. Just to go against the grain and just as an excuse to bring Uncle Eric back on TV, my vote is going with the former king of WCW. Naturally, though, the drones will vote for McMahon and, in a shocking turn of events, the DX Express will be derailed with this match.
JOHN CENA VS. BIG SHOW VS. BOOKER T
Which Title Is Defended? – ECW World Championship
Predicted Pick: WWE Championship
Predicted Winner: John Cena
The idea behind this match is to pit the three champs against each other to see who would be the Champion of Champions. One week after the fact, Vince decrees that fans may choose which champ gets to defend his title. John Cena was the WWE champ (and still has that fucking stupid piece of shit spinner belt), Big Show was the ECW World Champ, and Booker T (as King Booker) is the World Champ. Now because much pressure has been made about the possibility of Cena’s belt leaving RAW, expect a WWE Title defense that, obviously, Cena will win… which is a load of crap right there because if I’m thinking champion of champions in WWE, I’m not seeing John Cena. Quite frankly, neither is Big Show or Booker T, although I would probably give the nod to Booker because he deserves that much after being treated like shit ever since he was bought out along with the rest of WCW. But whatever, man.
dtm666 