Created by lack of destiny… bonded by lack of belief… depressed by the Warrior DVD. But enough about that. You don’t want to read my thoughts on the Self-Destruction, you want to read my thoughts on other stuff. But since I don’t have much to talk about, I’ll just drop off some predictions for tomorrow’s WWE pay-per-view offering. Usually, WWE offers a pretty good 1st PPV of the year with a solid card topped off with a great modified battle royale. Unfortunately, the first pay-per-view of the year 2006 is NOT the Royal Rumble.
Instead, the first PPV of 2006 is New Year’s Revolution, a RAW-exclusive show that started off last year. Now NYR 2005 wasn’t a great show by any means; it was fairly boring, nothing of note happened, and above all else, wasn’t all that entertaining. So with such a bad debut show, NYR 2006 looks to outdo the first show with some matches of potentially better quality, but nothing particular special.
So for those who don’t know how I do these things, it’s real simple. I predict a potential winner and other little snafus. After the event, I grade my predictions against the actual matches. Nothing special happens if I get it all right or all wrong. It’s just my thoughts and stuff. So enough of this stuff, let’s get on with it.
(And just so you’d know, I’m keeping track of PPV results via live reports that are updated as the show progresses).
Bra & Panties Gauntlet Match
Maria vs. Ashley vs. Victoria vs. Candice vs. Torrie
You know someone had mentioned something about people being able to use PPV to buy real honest-to-goodness-as-much-as-possible porno as opposed to buying a wrestling show if they wanted their share of T&A (as opposed to TNA). I sort of have to agree; is there really any point to this match other than seeing a bunch of women in their underwear bouncing around the ring? Ridiculous drivel not worth my time. Any way, let’s give the win to Ashley… gotta give her something to do, I guess.
Result: Ashley wins – despite eye-gouging content featuring the old hags Moolah and Mae Old. Good thing I didn’t order this PPV.
Scorecard: 1-0
Gregory Helms vs. Jerry “The King” Lawler
This must be one of NYR’s annual perks; a young guy versus Jerry Lawler. My bet is that the man formerly known as Sugar Shane will win the match, but nothing of note will come of this unless they turn Helms into a terrorist.
Result: Lawler wins with a fist drop. That’s really sad considering he can’t even use his patented PILEDRIVER!
Scorecard: 1-1
Women’s World Championship Match
Trish Stratus (c) vs. Mickie James
Here’s a match that has a chance of being something good. Unlike the T&A Gauntlet match that will stink up the joint regardless of how much perfume these girls splash on themselves, Trish and Mickie (a.k.a. Alexis Laree) can actually wrestle – I’ll give ten points for that alone. Another note of interest is that Trish has held the title since the last NYR. That’s like a whole frickin’ year – maybe the commentators will make note of this. Trish should be thanking that injury she got in mid-2005 and the lack of wrestling minds in the creative team for such a long reign. With that in mind, I don’t think Trish will be dropping the title here.
Result: Trish wins the match and retains the title. I was right on this exchange.
Scorecard: 2-1
Intercontinental Heavyweight Championship Match
Ric Flair (c) vs. Edge
The build-up was actually well done, but this match is sort of an enigma. You have 50+ year old Ric Flair as champ, his first reign as IC champion resulting in little done for the sake of the championship. And then you have Edge, a guy with a guaranteed World title shot going for a secondary title that he doesn’t have any business fighting for. My guess is that Edge might be taking the belt, but I certainly hope not. Edge needs a World title match and he needs it soon while his stock is still up there.
Result: Ric Flair retains the title via DQ. But I’m not going to be counting this. Why? Read on.
Scorecard: 2-1
Big Show vs. He of the Three Hs
HHH wins. He always wins. Nothing to it.
Result: HHH wins. He always wins. Didn’t you know? (Oh yeah, he’s a daddy-to-be. Congrats).
Scorecard: 3-1
Six-Man Elimination Chamber Match for the WWE Heavyweight Championship
John Cena (c) vs. Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Three Other Guys That Don’t Matter
Looks like another repeat from last year: the Elimination Chamber. This year, we have the champion, two potential title contenders, and three other guys that really don’t matter in the long run. I mean, come on! Does anyone expect Chris Masters to win this thing? Or Carlito? Or Kane so he could have another 24-hour title reign? Despite all these odds and threats, Cena will walk out with the title.
Result: Cena manages to retain the title. But again, I’m not counting this. Why? Because just after the match, Edge FINALLY cashes in on his World Title match (he must have read my match predictions) and defeats Cena to win the WORLD TITLE he should have gotten for a while now. So yeah, there’s my dilemma. I said Edge would take the belt, but didn’t. And Cena won the match, but didn’t keep the title. So let’s just call it 3-2 and tuck it under the rug. Gotta admit though, I was pleasantly surprised that Edge would pull off something like this. Almost makes me wish I did order the PPV.
Almost.
Scorecard: 3-2
So that’s my offering. Later.
dtm666 