Friday Night Thursday Smackdown Thursday (and also RAW)

No, this ain’t no lie. This is not a figment of my imagination. Straight from canada.wwe.com comes a reasonable facsimile of this image (before I destroyed it) confirming that Canada will be getting its share of Smackdown ONE DAY EARLIER than our neighbors down south. I suppose we should consider ourselves lucky. Anyway, some quick thoughts… So RAW has come and passed. And since it was Labor Day yesterday, I got the day off and was able to sit down and watch the show. And what did WWE give me for this rare event? That’s right, boys and girls: a crappy show. Not in the sense that it was bad, but… the show has actually caused me to fall asleep! Never before had a wrestling show had caused me to fall asleep… save for a couple shows which made want to relieve myself in the commode. But seriously… to think this show was pretty decent a year ago, even with Crapper H on top. Not even the knowledge that we’re getting Smackdown a day earlier than UPN will make up for a pathetic RAW show. Which, I guess, brings us to the whole point of this post. Friday Smackdown Thursday – Debut Episode Predictions

Okay. I wouldn’t normally do something like this, but since the debut episode of Friday Night Smackdown already has a full card booked, I’d thought I throw in my predictions for the match. Just so you’d know, I posted this around 12:00 pm Tuesday morning, long before any spoilers get out. And even though I might check out spoilers when they get out Wednesday (or even on Thursday when the Score, a Canadian sports channel, shows Smackdown one day earlier), I’ll delay the actual posting of results until Sunday. So yeah, Friday Night Smackdown (or Thursday Smackdown Thursday in Canada – no, that’s not the real name, moron!) has a full card booked and a decisively difficult challenge ahead: presenting PPV-caliber matches within a one-hour block. Will it be a successful outing? Who knows? Of course, since we don’t the details of how the booking will be now that the show’s been cut in half, I’ll just list out the card as announced. If any matches get cut, we’ll find out. In any case, here are my predictions. Chris Benoit vs. Orlando Jordan in a SUMMERSLAM REMATCH for the United States TitleMy pick is obvious: Chris Benoit. He’s been on such a roll lately: first he beats OJ for the title in half a minute, then defeats the coffee cup, then defeats the commode, and beats OJ again! All under a span of two minutes. So let’s up the ante a bit. Not only will Benoit beat OJ, but he will also beat him in LESS than 23.4 seconds! I guarantee it… since they somehow have to fit the match in a one-hour slot. Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio in a Steel Cage SUMMERSLAM REMATCHWho’s your PAPI?! Nuff said… win, Unca Eddy, win! LOD2k5 (Animal and Heidenreich) vs. MNM (Mercury and Nitro) in a SUMMERSLAM GREAT AMERICAN BASH REMATCH for the (Teddy Long’s Smackdown) Tag Team Championship Heidenreich was reported to have left for Louisianna to find his family who have gone missing in the Katrina disaster. If this match happens, we might expect new tag team champions. Batista vs. John Bradshaw Layfield in a Bullrope SUMMERSLAM REMATCH for the (Teddy Long’s Smackdown) World Heavyweight Championship I’ve said it before… DAVE WINS. That’s it, now leave me alone! Later.