Today, I’m going to be revisiting something I’ve touched on a couple times on the old DTM Blog and frequently updated on the old Webstation. Considering that there’s a Spider-Man reboot in the midsts, it might seem appropriate to take a look back at this rather bewildering project that ultimately went nowhere. And while I will generally avoid adding in my own modern-day additions to the proceedings, I will add a couple notes here and there (usually denoted as such and in bold).
Originally posted July 27th, 2004, with additional postscripts and addendum posted later on.
“If you’re really serious about doing this thing, at least move to New York and shoot it. Otherwise, it’s just Spider-Man in L.A. and that’s not exactly true to the comics, now is it? Good luck… I guess.”
That was my first of two post on the message board of the people whom I’m about to introduce you to. Posted way back in July.
I’m about to share something with you that’s good for a laugh and somewhat similar. First off, I urge you to go to the following website (highlight the address, copy and past):
http://www.secretspidermanmovie.com
(2011 Update: The original website is long since dead, so the link provided is brought to you by the Wayback Machine.)
Or you can just read the rest of this entry if you don’t want to bother with visiting this site.
The site is run by a bunch of comic geeks disguised as would-be filmmakers (despite their credentials) who are distraught that Hollywood is ‘bastardizing’ their comics by making subtle changes and whatnot from the source material. The site claims that they’re going to take action by producing their own version of Spider-Man 3 (staying true to the original comic stories, whatever) and send it to Marvel before Sam Raimi could get his done. That’s just the overall summary… I’m not going to go into details.
All I can say is… ARE YOU F*CKING HIGH?!!
Spider-Man 2 may not have been 100% accurate to the comic, but it’s still a damned fine movie because what it does manage to get right is done well. So what if Spider-Man has organic webbing rather than mechanical webshooters? It suits the movie perfectly because it doesn’t disrupt the flow of the action like the traditional mechanical shooters would.
Yes, I’ll agree that Hollywood makes dumbs ‘your’ precious comics when it comes to movies based on it. Hollywood changes anything from an original source to make sure it fits their vision.
Perfect example is Dracula. Bram Stoker’s classic character had been featured in many movies, but just about none of them followed the original novel precisely (only Francis Ford Coppola’s version comes close). But I’m just ranting there.
Most comic movies suck because of the changes made, but some movies are rather good despite (or in spite of) the changes made. Maybe it hadn’t crossed your mind, but even comics make subtle changes to long-time characters as far as origin stories go. If a Superman movie were to stay true to the original version of the character, he would be whipping criminals into the wall head first cracking their skulls open. Likewise with Batman, he would actually use a gun. Sometimes change is good; it depends on what kind of change.
Besides, the purpose of a comic-book movie is to not only make money (because that’s with every business, including comic books), but to introduce the character to a wider audience and hopefully get them hooked on the comics.
You guys want to redo a comic movie? Redo Catwoman because that movie sucked ass.
*sigh*
If they’re really serious about doing this thing, at least move to New York and shoot it. Otherwise, it’s just Spider-Man in L.A. and that’s not exactly true to the comics, now is it?
Okay, enough of this.
POSTSCRIPT – August 31st, 2004
Okay, I just visited the Secret Spider-Man site roughly a month after my ranting on the so-called attempt at a genuine, true-to-comic movie that will supposedly be produced in 21 days and shipped to Marvel… or whatever. The site announces that major financial backings is in the works and that they’ll push production another month to finalize negotiations. Is this recent breaking news? Or is it a tub of shit? Who knows except for the peons running that website, who on a sidebar, claim they’ll be receiving a ten-thousand dollar backing if their message boards were to receive 5,000 postings before a specified date, which happened to be yesterday. Now, I don’t want to seem like a know-it-all (because heaven forbid we have enough of those on this god-forsaken planet), but the last time I checked (today, for that matter), the site’s message boards barely have 500 postings total, let alone 5,000… unless you could account for the rest of the 4,000+ posts at some phantom message board nobody seems to know about.
I doubt that the so-called true comic supporter (whose name isn’t even listed – sure, it’s good to maintain anonymous status if you’re loaded, but you could at least say the guy wishes to remain anonymous and even that’s too much for you) would support your cause when he sees the pitiful number of entries on their message boards. Unless he’s one of you guys and sees the phantom message board that everyone else can’t.
As the title of this short yet interesting article says, “Nice Try, Guys.” But speaking as a regular Spider-Man reader, your argument wasn’t compelling or genuine enough to have me sold on the idea of a geek-made Spider-Man 3 movie a month ago. And it still isn’t now.
However, you can always redo Catwoman. That movie still sucked ass.
Later…
POSTSCRIPT II – October 11th, 2004
I wasn’t going to comment on this any further, because I had said my piece and was content with it. Then I remember that the link to the article wasn’t even added in the main text page, so rather than link an opinion that doesn’t count and is out of date, I thought I add this little postscript. Of course, I haven’t much less to add to the subject because, like I said, I’ve said my piece and was done with it. However, I figured I’d stop by their Secret Spider-Man Movie website to see what progress has been made to getting their flick closer to fruition.
What progress, you say? Exactly. The site hasn’t been updated, has it? They still have the donation clause stating that if they got 3,000 posts or something, they would get much-needed funding…
Such a travesty. I would have expected more from these guys, but that might be true if I actually was expecting more. Frankly, I’m surprised that neither Sony nor Marvel had shut them down yet. Or maybe they have and the site is still in its outdated state because of it.. Who knows? Who cares?
Maybe it’s a clever ploy for their little fanflick. Because that’s all it really is.
THE LATEST POSTING ON THEIR MESSAGE BOARD – October 11th 2004
While writing the above postscript, I decided to once again grace my presence on their message board (which is really a blogger – go figure). What’s been posted on their blog… er, I mean, message board is the following rant. If you wanted to know my current feeling over this thing, read a bit of the above or go straight down towards the end of this – my post has a couple of typos, but those typos are fixed here. Goes to show you how much I applaud their efforts… as in none.
This whole rage over the botching of comic movies, the whining of fanboys in your little ‘trailer’ or whatever it’s called, your lack of reports over production… this could either be the greatest publicity ploy for a fanfilm I have ever seen, the most innovate joke I have ever witnessed, or a site with two idiots having delusions of grandeur, thinking their putrid, low-budget flick could beat out Sam Raimi’s masterpieces, which made money despite their flaws.
If it’s a publicity ploy for a fanfilm, this has got to be the gutsiest moves I’ve seen, although Sandy Collora didn’t need to pull a stunt for his short flicks. He just needed to pull a couple of good ones. And that he did.
If this is intended at humor, I’ll admit that I’ve had a few good laughs. Unfortunately, the joke’s long drawn out.
If this is supposed to be a serious attempt, I am sorry to say that you are wasting your efforts. Your goal of trying to persuade Marvel to force Columbia’s hand is admirable if not foolish. You pose an intriguing argument, but you also come off as a bunch of crying Star Wars geeks who bash George Lucas because he so-called “butchered” the original trilogy with his constant rehashes.
The purpose of the comic book movie is not to be true to the comic book by ANY MEANS. The comic book movie is designed to introduce the franchise to a new audience, hoping that they’ll be interested enough to pick up the comic book, where certain details lacking in the movie are dwelled upon further. The idea behind a movie is to MAKE MONEY. A movie could be 100% accurate to the source comic, including little details that are rarely touched upon, but if that movie only makes a couple bucks when it could have been making a couple million bucks, all that accuracy doesn’t mean shit… excuse the expression.
This doesn’t just apply to comic book movies, but all movies in general. A film that’s part of a franchise has to appeal not just to the core audience, but a wider range of potential customers. It’s one thing when a movie is loved by several thousand comic book geeks, but when a movie brings in non-comic book geeks, it does its job well – inaccuracies be damned.
As long as the substance of the character is retained and translated properly onto another medium, I could care less if Spider-Man’s costume was blue-and-yellow and changed his name to Arachniman. I would care less if the webbing shot out of his genitals instead of his wrists. If Spidey lives in New York and his character is still respectable to the original comic, that’s just fine by me.
If I wanted something true to the original comic, I read the original comic. Your intention may be noble, but there’s no way your putrid attempts will beat out Columbia’s two Spider-Man flicks. I have a feeling they won’t even beat out the old Spider-Man TV show with Nick Hammond.
Nice try, guys. But you haven’t sold me on the idea.
That’s all there is to it, folks. Thanks for reading through this thing.
POSTSCRIPT III – October 25th, 2004
If anyone has read a copy of Spectacular Spider-Man #20, you’ll know that Spider-Man now has the ability to organically shoot webs… from his wrists, stupid. If you didn’t read it, go ahead. Anyway, my first thought was “Boy, this’ll piss off the Secret Spider-Man guys.” Anyway, I decided to go there and leave a post concerning this all so simple fact. Lo and Behold, I found that someone had made a direct… ahem, challenge to my previous posting. Here’s what he has to say:
that last guy that said Sam Raimis spider-man movies are masterpieces is an idiot.They are pure crap and garbage.sorry but great special effects which is the ONLY good thing about these movies,hardly makes a good film.superman is a masterpiece.sonys man-spider movies are crap.
Note that the above comment was not edited. This was written as is… so here’s a comment that would have been avoided otherwise if it hadn’t been for Paul Jenkins making changes to Peter Parker in the comic book. So here I am, reading Crapman’s comment, and I’m thinking “This guy needs to learn how to fucking write.” Sure, it’s a blog and message board, but have a sense of decency in your writing. Anywhoo, here’s my follow-up comment in its entirety.
A quick note: if mechanical webshooters being replaced with organic webbing is one of the factors of producing this, then DON’T pick up the recent of issue of Spectacular Spider-Man (issue 20). I don’t necessarily want to spoil anything, but let’s just say Marvel is going the way of the organic.
(2011 Update: Spider-Man has since returned to the traditional mechanical web-shooters after the events of the One More Day debacle. The less said about that tripe, the better.)
The guy above saying “sonys man-spider movies are crap” obviously didn’t take into account that these so-called crap movies made lots of money – even more so than your precious Superman movie. Maybe the so-called “idiot” went overboard in saying that the Sam Raimi movies are masterpieces, but they were still great movies that were actually enjoyable to watch, regardless of the inconsistencies to the source. Maybe if Crapman got off his soapbox, sat down, and see the movie for what it is, he would learn to appreciate it and maybe even enjoy it. I guess the old ’70s Spider-Man live-action TV show is more to his liking, where Spidey’s powers were limited and the storylines dull and tedious.
Which brings me to this “Secret Spider-Man Movie”. First off, move to New York; otherwise, it’s Spider-Man in L.A. unless that’s the intent. Second off, your best bet on a movie following comic continuity would be to adapt some of the Ultimate Spider-Man stuff, because it’s recent. Only the comic buffs will remember all the sixties references that you intend on putting it and that’s going to turn off a lot of people unless they manage to find the stuff enjoyable.
Going back to what Crapman said a couple posts up, Superman was a good movie because of two things; proper characterization (for the time) and the amazing special effects devised. While the characterization could be tweaked without destroying the integrity of the character, the special effects had to be believable. To a certain extent, they were for the time. That said, Superman is HARDLY true to the original comic book.
I’m sincerely looking forward to what you can come up with – but understand that I’m strictly going to seeing this as a fanfilm; nothing more, nothing less. I would be fooling myself to see otherwise.
And that’s it. Unless they get Sam Raimi to write a couple issues of the comic. Later.
POSTSCRIPT IV: April 17, 2005
Some time ago, I wrote a blog entry (which has since been promoted to a Webstation article with several Postscript entries) that bashes the Secret Spider Man movie project. I’m not gonna go into details, but if you want to check out the article, check it out here.
After scanning through blog entries and noticing the original post, I decided to check out their site and see what’s new. Instead of a front page that mentioned something about studis and hos, I got a front page with the following posted:
During the filming of SSM, we have elected to keep this site off limits for the protection of the project. Thank you to all the many comic supporters who have gotten behind us and our genuine effort keep the true history of comics alive!
So this tells us two things: either they’re filming the movie and closed down the site because of all the negative posts (and believe me, there were a lot of negativity on their boards) or they’re basically bullshiting and called this whole thing quits. Frankly, I could care less what the reasoning is, but if they’re working on their fanfilm, all I’ll say is best of luck.
Now remake Catwoman, you dumb bastards.
POSTSCRIPT V: December 17, 2006
It’s 2006. Where’s the Secret Spider-Man Movie?
For anyone who was around back when this Blog started, I had posted a blog relating to the group of fans who were upset by the Spider-Man movies and decided to make their own “Secret Spider-Man” movie. I have regularly visited the site to see what progress they have made thus far.
The story behind it is long and winded… as a matter of fact, you’ve just read it in this overly long post.
So why bring this up a couple years later? Well, as far as this particular subject goes, I’ve been silent on it for a reason. So just for kicks, as I was filtering through some old articles for planned update, I ran across the article and decided to visit their website and see what’s going on with their not-so-secret Spider-Man project. Now the last time I visited their site, it was closed off so that the project would be protected from the “Studi-HOS” or whatever they called it. I don’t know what it is, so don’t ask.
Just this morning, I visited their site and I get an error page. Maybe I screwed up the page address so I did a cut and paste.
Nothing.
So either they gave up or the STOO-DEE-HOS won.
Either way, they won’t be haunting me anymore.
2011 Update: In 2005, the Secret Spider-Man Movie website shut its doors. Its official reasoning was that they wanted to keep the project tight-lipped and prevent any potential leaks from coming out – at least, that’s what I interpreted from the message above. Unfortunately for those who were looking forward to this project, nothing ever came of it and eventually the website disappeared and the project forgotten, becoming nothing more than a minute footnote on this here blog.
dtm666 