In honor of Kane’s triumphant victory over Triple H at No Mercy, I have decided to be paint the site red… What’s that? You see no red? Well, that’s because Kane lost on Sunday. Damn Triple H for being Vince’s boy. It is said that when guys reach the top of the wrestling world, they get lazy. But not Triple H, oh no sirree! He busts his way to the top, date the boss’ daughter and THEN gets lazy…
Let me tell you something; I am glad that WWE is pushing their World champions to have long healthy reigns. Unfortunately, one of those champs happens to be a guy who has hogged the spotlight long enough and I am not talking about Brock Lesnar. I am talking about a man whose name consists of three letters.
I’m going to start this commentary off officially with a brief recap of matches that I predicted. The comments in brackets are the actual results, so let’s start this off:
Rob Van Dam vs. Ric Flair
This is a tough one to call. On the one hand, Ric Flair lost to Chris Jericho. On the other hand, RVD is fodder for Jericho and Triple punkass H. My money is on RVD.
[Rob Van Dam pinned Ric Flair at 8:05 – GOOD PREDICTION]
Torrie Wilson vs. Dawn Marie
Okay, if both women wear revealing outfits, the fans are the winners!!! Um… seriously, though. They actually stuck this on a Pay-Per-View?!
[Torrie Wilson pinned Dawn Marie – since I didn’t predict a winner, this doesn’t count]
Rey Mysterio & Edge vs. Kurt Angle & Chris Benoit for the WWE (Smackdown) Tag-Team Championship
The Smackdown! Brand of second-rate wrestlers are getting their own tag belts. I think Angle & Benoit should get the belts. Why? Well, aside from the fact that Kurt Angle has yet to hold a Tag Belt, I don’t think Edge needs to be pushed into the tag-wrestler position again… neither should Rey rey or whatever you call him. What do you think, Pete?
Pete Rose: Nothing for you, punk! It’s true. It’s TRUE!
[Chris Benoit and Kurt Angle pinned Rey Rey and Edge at 22:01 – GOOD PREDICTION and MATCH OF THE NIGHT IMHO]
Chris Jericho & Christian vs. Booker T and Goldust for the World (Eric Bischoff’s RAW) Tag-Team Championship
Um… have the Canadian Blondes drop the straps to Bookdust, sucka!
Pete Rose: You’re the sucka!
[Jericho & Christian beat Bookdust – I WAS WRONG]
Trish Stratus vs. Victoria for the World (Eric Bischoff’s RAW) Women’s Championship
Um… Vicky wins… why? I don’t know…
[Trish wins the match – I WAS WRONG]
World (Eric Bischoff’s RAW) Heavyweight Champion Triple H vs. Intercontinental (Eric Bischoff’s RAW) Heavyweight Champion Kane in a Winner-Takes-All Title Unification Match
Kane, you’re a World Heavyweight Championship Murderer!!!!
[Triple H beats Kane at 16:15 – I WAS WRONG]
And Brock wins over Taker in the Cell match. I was right, but then so was everyone else. There is a match missing (the Cruiserweight title match) but since this was a last-minute thing and I didn’t know about its booking, it doesn’t count. Needless to say, Jamie Noble retains his title over Tajiri. It will be hard to believe that the only credible title these days is the cruiserweight championship, since Noble has been champ since June.
Concerning last night’s RAW, will someone please explain to me what the fuck is an Elimination Chamber? Pretty please?!
Okay, now that’s done. Since I am pressed for time, I am going to lay off the commentary and wait until tomorrow. Yeah, I know it’s a crock, but I promise to make up for it with lengthy commentaries or numerous pieces. Until then, folks, try to be entertained by WWE’s logic-defying matches and idiotic bookings.
dtm666 